Clockwork Princess my version
by PippyCupCake
Summary: Set after Clockwork Prince, the Shadowhunters are out of their depth as Mortmain makes his next move. Everything isn't as it seems, and Tessa isn't the only one faced with a heartbreaking decision to make. In the end, will she chose Jem, or Will? Or is her heart too torn to truly love either? This is my first fanfic, so please review! Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns the series.
1. Prologue Dead Man

CLOCKWORK PRINCESS- my version

Prologue:

It was the fall of a shadow that gave the man away as he stood, top hat pulled down over his eyes, in the center of the dark gravel of the road. They had not heard him coming; nobody could have, for he had not walked, nor run. He had simply appeared, calm and set in the face of the dark carriage engraved with flames and led by horses that approached, the crunching of the turning wheels and the horses' metal shoes as they grated the floor the only sound to be heard within the isolated street in the outskirts of York. The sky was a yellow grey, the most dangerous kind of cloud; the kind that promised violence, action. The figure inside the carriage was determined that he would note nothing else. Not the green hills around him, not the cold air that stung his cheeks and leaked through the cracks in the carriage, that frosted the dark side windows until he could no longer see clearly his surroundings. Most certainly not the man standing in his path.

No, while his heart raced against the patter of his horses' feet, spluttering as he inhaled and exhaled ragged breaths, he was resolved to ignore his fast approaching fate; ignore it the way in which a child might ignore the looming inevitability of their parent discovering the stains of food or drink on a brand new rug, or an unpopular politician might evade his eyes from the voting polls. Of course, Benedict Lightwood knew all too well the inevitability of what would befall him. He knew who the man in his way was, knew the tip of his hat, the pristine condition of his suit, the clench of his jaw, and he knew why he was here. Lulling his head back tiredly against the leather interior of his family's carriage, Benedict let out a sigh of defeat. He had not expected that he would really have been able to leave London safely; indeed, it had been a pleasant surprise that he had managed to pass the border into York without being discovered. But all pleasant things, as he had learnt, must come to an end.

The dapple grey and chestnut horses slowed, easing into a halt as the driver- a disposable mundane, and a servant of the Lightwoods- tugged at the reigns around their mouths. Benedict did nothing to stop him. It would do him no credit to try to pass by- to run. The Magister wished to confront him, and, because the Magister wished it, it was bound to pass.

"May I help you, Good Sir?" the driver called to Axel Mortmain, clutching uncertainly at the reigns of his horses. The man had not moved from his place at the centre of the road.

Mortmain looked up, the shadow over his face shifting to reveal a sharp nose and a sneering mouth. Benedict Lightwood watched from behind the curtains in the part of the windows that had remained immune to the effect of the cold weather, a shiver passing over him as he watched. The man did not look threatening in himself, not without the chilling power of his eyes behind him, and yet there was something about the way he held himself, his air of confidence, that was terrifying.

"Oh, you most certainly can," Mortmain said. "I believe this to be the carriage of one Mr Benedict Lightwood."

"Aye, Sir, you're not mistaken."

Mortmain threw a smile at the driver, a smile that Benedict knew was as unsettling as it was reassuring.

"In that case," he went on, "the favour I ask of you is a mere minute in his company." He gestured towards the interior of the carriage, going to tap on the cold window. "If you don't mind?"

No. Benedict shrunk back from the curtains, suddenly afraid that the other man would see his silloheutte. It was a useless fear; Mortmain was already well aware that it was he who sat safely in the back of the carriage, restless and worn, nails bitten til they bled. He had made as much clear.

He closed his eyes, breathes becoming shallow and brief as he heard his driver shuffling with the keys, stepping down from where he sat, tying the reigns of the horses to a thin rail for the moment, and soundlessly pulling the carriage door open, poking his robust looking head in, and speaking automatically without bothering to inquire as to his masters' sudden silence, his near catatonic state.

"Pardon me, Sir. You have a visitor. Will you see him?"

Lightwood didn't need to open his eyes to know that Mortmain stood behind the coach driver, his gaze burning ice across his skin. It was hopeless now.

"I will," his voice cracked, and he cleared his throat, hands shaking as he covered his mouth to catch the germs. "I mean, yes. You may…let him in, Dexton." Whether or not Dexton was the mans' name, Benedict did not know or care. He still had not opened his eyes- not even when he felt the carriage shift under the added weight of Mortmain stepping inside- heard the creak of him sitting down opposite him- and heard the snap of the door closing shut. Benedict opened one eye, searching for Dextons' figure from behind the windows, but he saw nothing.

"You need not look so glum, old friend," Mortmain's voice was riddled with cruel amusement. "Rest assured, we are completely alone."

Through a series of ragged breathes and shaking limbs, Benedict forced himself to open his second eye, and return his gaze. A low whimper escaped his throat as he did.

"Magister," he whispered; and then, with greater volume, "my lord, master, I-"

"A roadtrip, Benedict?" Mortmain interrupted, his grey eyes glinting. "And without the children, too. My, my, what's the occasion? A new lover you're going to visit, perhaps?"

"You…you know there is no one, Sir," Benedict said, looking faint. "You know everything…"

"Indeed," Mortmain grinned. "And yet, you still tried to escape me. Alas, you never were a brave man, Benedict. Never had much character in you. Its' why I chose you, you know."

An inhumane cry erupted from the other man, a cry for mercy, but Mortmain had none.

"Please," he cried. "Please, master, forgive me. You understand, they-they blackmailed me. Charlotte Branwell- William Herondale-your warlock girl, they tricked me, they gave me no choice! My son-"

"Your son," spat Mortmain. "Gideon, I presume you mean."

"He is no son of mine, Magister," Benedict said coldly. "He is a fool. A disgraceful fool."

"No," Mortmain said, a mad smile playing at the edge of his lips. A dangerous smile, like the edge of a seraph blade, Benedict thought. "He is a fool, oh yes, to believe in will of the Shadowhunters the way he does. Yet still he knew the consequences of his actions- what his betrayal will cost his dear father, his brother, his family name- himself. He is not a disgraceful fool, but a brave one. You ought to be proud, Benedict. He shows backbone. An irritating yet admirable feature in a man."

"My lord," Benedict mumbled, blinking back tears now. The Magister was not a most straightforward man. He dragged out his sentences, he prolonged the suffering of those who had wronged him- torturing them without so much as lifting a finger. This, this lingering, this aimless talk, was his punishment, Benedict knew.

"Do not fear, Benedict," Mortmain said, as if reading his mind. "You have betrayed me, and yet still, it has not cost me much but time. I am as aware as I ever was of the ongoings of the Clave- even inside the Institute, more so now than before. It is not as if I had ever placed a great gravity of importance in your hands. I can execute this plan with or without the Institute under my direct control."

"Of course you can," Benedict breathed. "Of course…no real inconvenience. I haven't…"

"And yet," his master said delicately, "I had so hoped that I would not have to. I so hoped that you would not fail me."

The other man did not speak.

"Benedict, Benedict," Mortmain sighed, malice in his voice. "Whatever have you done? You've brought it all upon yourself, you know. Dying a slow death of humiliation, in any case- and I could have saved you. You could have lived to see your sons grow into men." He laughed, a short, humourless laugh. "But then, why should any parent be afforded that honour when it was denied to my own? Denied by you. By filthy, disgusting Shadowhunters who thought they could just-"

True insanity, true anger, seemed to capture the Magister in a moment of blind hatred. And then he blinked, a smile returning to his features. Benedict let out a shuddering breath of relief.

"But it grows late," he said conversationally, "and I'm sure that your coachman grows ever impatient to be on his way. I should not trespass for much longer."

Benedicts' heart was hammering. What did that mean? Was he being released? Forgiven? Was Mortmain letting him go?

"Magister," he croaked, hesitant.

"Magister," Mortmain repeated, loudly, and with air of pride. "Master; to all, and to any. But, dear friend, due to your regrettable choices…no longer is it Magister to you."

Benedict stared at the man before him in a mixture of astonishment and overwhelming gratitude.

And then he saw Mortmain move, faster than any Shadowhunter or human could, faster than he would have thought possible; certainly too close for his own shaking hands to catch. He saw ten fingers reach towards him, towards his neck- heard a crash and felt a throbbing, sharp pain in his head, and a pressure on his wind pipe that pushed all the air from his lungs so that his throat was on fire, screaming and writhing for the damp, smelling air of England. As he choked over his Masters' gloved black hand, he caught the curious glint of silver in his smile, like a piece of clockwork. And then everything went horribly dark.


	2. Chapter 1 Family ties

CHAPTER ONE

The room was lit only dimly, flickering Witchlights perched across the walls in golden clasps, as though they were candles, threatening to dehydrate, leaving the training room, and those inside it, in total darkness. Cecily Herondale narrowed her eyes as she sensed for her rival; listened for the faint foosteps or harsh breaths that might give him away, looking for the subtle casts of shadows to reveal his presence. She had not been training for long, and yet it was beginning to come naturally to her. Or perhaps that credit was more fitting to go to her instructor.

Suddenly, Cecily whirled around, swinging her wooden staff from her right hand to her left, as she blocked the blow of her opponent. There had been no warning but the slight whistle in the air, the sound of wood cutting through the empty atmosphere. That had been all she had needed to react. Sparring relentlessly, the two Shadowhunters began to circle each other, moving around the room. Each had been barely able to lay a mark on the other, despite the clear superiority of Cecilys' teacher over Cecily herself. She suspected at times that he was going easy on her, being kind. But that thought she dismissed almost at once. After all, this was Will Herondale. Her brother did not do things simply to be kind- nor did he presume to unbend his pride enough to lose a fight.

"A little slow, there, Cecy," Will called over the clash of their weapons, grinning provocatively. In response, Cecily spun on her feet, ducking to avoid a blow to the head, and swinging her leg up to land a kick on his abdomen, meeting her target with a low noise. Will swore, doubling backwards and colliding with the wall behind him.

"Was that fast enough for you, brother?" she asked conversationally. Will scowled at her, the shadows and light bouncing off the walls shading his face, making him look like a fallen angel. The Witchlights seemed to simultaneously flicker from light to dark, all in the space of a mere blink. That space was all Will needed. He grinned as he heard Cecily's gasp of surprise and dismay when she realised that he was no longer caught up against the wall as he had been- nor was he anywhere else in her line of sight. Instead, he approached from behind her in the darkness, masking his shadow with her own so she could not see him coming. This would be easy. But if it would be easy, it would not be half as fun. He decided to give his sister some warning.

"Oh, much better, Cecily, much better," he said, and she spun, wild-eyed, to meet her club with his. Will deflected the blow, and in one swift motion, threw Cecily's weapon out of her grip and drew his own towards her neck, resting it gently at the base of her throat. He smiled down at her.

"But not better enough."

Cecily's staff hit the floor on the far side of the room with a clatter from where Will had discarded it. She watched it fall with a wince, swearing in a most unlady-like fashion- indeed, a fashion that would most likely horrify the Institute, and all its' inhabitants, if it were revealed to them. But Cecily could swear around Will. She didn't have to act differently for him. He had been there, too- for however shortly, he too had lived in their country home in Wales as a child. He knew the carefree lifestyle, the songs and the dances, the neighbours, and the common practice of swearing like a drunken sailor. She watched his eyes light up as he recalled it, with a satisfied, yet somewhat bitter, smile. She had arrived at the Institute, begging to be trained as a Shadowhunter some eight weeks ago, having left her parents in their despairing, spiralling lives that she could no longer bare to witness. Her brother had simply stared at her for a long while with the most peculiar, half-broken look on his face, before enveloping her in a wide embrace. He had told her everything- about the curse he had thought had been put upon him when he had opened their fathers' Pyxis Box at just twelve years of age, how he had believed himself responsible for their sister Ella's death, and how he had left them all to protect him- or so he had believed. Of course, Cecily no longer held resentment against him so fiercely, now that she knew the truth. Yet still, there was no way for Will to change what had happened at home when he'd gone. The raw devestation of their mother, the gambling, wild ways of their father- and-though Cecily would never have told Will herself- her own endless tears, night after night until she had eventually realised that he was never coming back.

"Well, you do have five years training in your favour," she grumbled once she had finished cursing.

"And you think that whoever you may have to fight in the future won't?" Will countered. "For the most part, we fight Demons, Cecily. Demons tend to have rather long lifespans. They_ don't_ tend to consider the injustice of this before they try to eat us." He shrugged. "It's good for you. More realistic preparation."

"Demons eat people?" Cecily's eyes widened in horror.

"If its' a Globos Demon, it'll try to swallow you whole," Will said impressively. As Cecily paled, he nudged her softly. "Just teasing, Cecy."

She let out a sigh of relief, shoving him in the ribs.

"So, will we go again, then? You _are_ getting better, Cecy. Your technique is almost perfect. All we need to work on now is experience," Will said, brandishing his staff, and going to pick up Cecily's, throwing it over to her in a graceful arch. She caught it with one hand, almost subconsciously.

"Tomorrow," Will was saying, "I thought we could try with guarded blades. They wouldn't hurt you much if they touched you, but its' a step up from these foul things." He gestured to their staffs eagerly, eyes glinting in the orange-yellow light of the room.

"Sounds great, Will," Cecily said, yawning. "But- that's enough for today. I'm tired, and I wanted to talk to Tessa before dinner, anyway."

At the mention of the other girls' name, Wills' hands seemed to tighten around the wood, something fracturing in his eyes, the set of his jaw becoming almost alarmingly tight. Cecily regarded him curiously. For two months she had been here, and for every day of those months, wherever Tessa Gray was concerned, her brother had behaved most oddly. Cecily had wanted to ask him about it, but something about the look on his face when she merely mentioned the name kept her from posing the question. Some things, she found, were better left alone.

"Oh," Will said now, his hand falling to his side. "You're tired, I-of course." He looked so deflated that Cecily could not help but feel a stab of pity for him in her chest.

"Will, we have been practicing since breakfast," she said softly. "It is almost dinner now."

"You didn't strike me as one to give up, Cecy," Will said with a tight smile. "No, it is alright then. I suppose we have been training rather vigorously these past few days. I…you may have tomorrow to yourself, if you like."

Cecily blinked at him, delighted. "Really?" she smoothed down her hair, now more of a tangled mess from the fight. "Not that you have any say in what I do anyway, but thanks, Will." she flew at him before he had the chance to retract his words, folding him into a hug. Will stood still as she hugged him, perhaps in shock, before hesitantly wrapping his arms around her, holding her where she stood- first loosely, and then with an almost crushing force.

"Will-I-Can't…breathe," Cecily choked in his ear, and he dropped her quickly, stepping back with a sheepish grin on his face. Cecily grinned back. "I'll tell Tessa and we could go into town and-"

"You're not taking Tessa out of the Institute," Will said suddenly. "It's too dangerous."

"I don't see why," Cecily reasoned, taken aback. Usually, it seemed that Will didn't have much to say where Tessa was concerned. Yet now, the conviction in his voice was impossible to miss. "She went into town last week, and nothing happened."

"She went into town last week with Jem and Henry," Will said. "Two trained Shadowhunters."

"One trained Shadowhunter," Cecily corrected him. "Jem only went because he's her fiancé." She glared at him reproachfully.

Will paled. "Look," he said warily, "Mortmain hasn't been seen or heard from in almost three months now- not since he invaded the Institute. That does not mean that he's stopped plotting. That does not mean that he is any less aware of our own plans, and that does not mean that he wants Tessa, for whatever reason, any less. This isn't a time to be careless. More than ever, we must be careful. He could strike at any time, and we need to all be here, to be ready. Promise me you and Tessa won't go into town tomorrow, Cecily. Promise you won't go alone?"

"I-" Cecily opened her mouth to complain or to bicker, but she hadn't the energy. The training certainly was taking its toll on her, she thought. Her all four limbs ached, muscles forming where she had not had much muscle or strength before. She also found that her appetite had increased almost embarrassingly- although Cecily, who had grown up in a robust, community environment, had never been a light eater herself. Nor had Will for that matter, she observed. She suspected it was their genetics that allowed them to indulge themselves without being reflected in their sizes. It was perks such as this one that made Cecily grateful that she descended from the family that she did. "Alright," she admitted defeat to Wills' request. "you used to have a sense of fun," she added in an undertone, but he appeared not to have heard her.

"Thanks, Cecily," he said, reaching over to ruffle her hair in affection. Cecily found herself warming inside as he did. Her family had been shown little affection since Ella's death and Wills' disappearance. It was comforting to have it back with her now. It was comforting to be a family once again.

"Henry, really," Charlotte said, although it was impossible to filter her tone of affection, "I can still walk down to dinner unassisted. That part will come later down the track, in perhaps another three or four months, if not further still away." Her husband waved away her protests, leaning her fondly onto himself, ensuring that he bore the full weight of her, lest she work herself too hard.

"Don't be silly, darling," he said at once. "you're carrying another person with you now- our little son! You can't be expected to carry all that around by yourself."

"Why Henry, are you saying I'm fat?" Charlotte asked, with a smile in her voice. Since she had told him of her pregnancy, Henry had been the most loving and supportive husband any woman could wish for; from escorting her absolutely everywhere, to arranging to have breakfasts sent to her in bed, for fear she would tire herself out before the day had even begun, to even reading through official Clave papers for her, leaving his inventions in the crypt to grow spider webs between the metals.

"And you leave this old Mortmain to me, dear," Henry had even announced when she had first protest him- all several weeks ago now. "He's got to deal with Henry Branwell now." Though that thought did not fill Charlotte with confidence for the future of the Shadowhunters, the gesture did fill her with another kind of hope. Hope for their marriage, and the family that they would soon have together.

"Besides, what if it's a girl? Did you ever think of that?" Charlotte added.

Henry looked dumbfounded. "My little Buford, a girl?"

"It could happen, you know," Charlotte taunted him with the idea as they made their way down the stairs- Henry carrying her with such great care and caution that it made Charlotte want to kiss him- or, as it happened, to kick him lightly in the ankle and say, "do hurry up, darling. I wish to reach the dining hall before dinner is served, not after."

The pair walked through the wide open oak doors and gazed upon the sight before them. The long table was lined with china plates and silver cutlery, napkins tucked under each wine glass in a show of elegance that seemed to hardly reflect Bridget- the cook- as a character. Steaming roast meat sat on a plate in the tables' centre, bowls of vegetables and sauces lying on either side of it, and yet there was nobody seated to appreciate it yet. Charlotte glanced at her husband. "And I thought we would be late for dinner," she said. "Wherever is everybody?"

Henry shrugged, pulling out a chair for his wife at the foot of the table and seating her in it. Bridget's wistful ballads of tragedy and heartbreak droned through the dining hall from the kitchen, echoing until it reached their ears. Charlotte shuddered with distaste.

"I suppose we know where Bridget is," she observed, answering her own earlier question. "And I would guess that Sophie is tending to the fireplaces- they've been bothersome to sustain this winter, as I've been told. Gideon is most likely with her; he doesn't like to see her working too hard." At that, Charlotte spared an internal smile for her maid. The relationship between Gideon Lightwood and Sophie Collins was, to say the least, unexpected, and strange. Yet it was lovely, in its own, imperfect way.

"And Cyril is tending to the horses," Henry supplied, hastening to load Charlottes' plate with an alarming amount of boiled carrots and potatoes. "And I expect Will and Cecily will be in the training room, once again."

"I don't understand how that girl can throw herself into the training so fully straight away," Charlotte shook her head in wonderment. "Rather like Will did, when he arrived, don't you think? It must be something of a family trait. It would be too much- too intense- for most people to train so frequently so suddenly."

"That girl does have a lot in her that is akin to our Will," Henry commented, in a most un-Henry-like manner. Charlotte was surprised that he paid enough attention to the people under the Institute roof for all those years that he could obtain their characters properly, he had seemed so preoccupied at the time. But then, there was much that Charlotte was beginning to find that surprised her about her husband; a thought that she was quite pleased by.

"And then there is Tessa and Jem," she went on, a smile playing on her lips.

Henry chuckled. "The young love birds. Soon we're not to be the only married couple among the Institute. I should guess they'll be together now, discussing the future and what-not. I wonder if they have settled on a time for the wedding?"

"I know that Jem seems eager to be married to her the first chance they get," Charlotte said, thinking of the glow that had been about him lately, the healthy shine to his cheeks and to his eyes. At first, their engagement had somewhat stunned her- it had stunned them all. She had seen the two of them as friends, but never as lovers before. Besides, there was always the issues that stood between them- things that no one had ever spoken of, but no one could ignore. There was the matter that Tessa was a downworlder- most likely, anyway, and therefore, a match between herself and a Shadowhunter was most controversial. There was the matter that nobody, not even she herself, was aware of exactly what she was, nor of who her parents were. And then, there was another matter, a problem that could not be taken lightly at all. Jem was dying, his condition deeming that he must take a drug to stay alive, and yet the same drug presented to him a slow and certain death. Charlotte dared not speak to either of them about how this issue was being taken in their engagement; after all, she was certain that Jem would have considered it, before he proposed, and that Tessa would have done the same thing before she agreed. Yet still, the thought ate away at Charlottes' heart, to think of the difficulties that the young couple had to face.

"Yes," Henry mused in response to Charlottes' words, now attempting-and failing- to cut Charlotte a piece of beef from the tray in front of him. "I only wonder…"

"What?"

"I wonder if Tessa feels the same. If she is also hasty to be married."

"Oh, I'm sure she is," Charlotte said. She gazed as Henry curiously, at his reddening face as he persisted in his mission to carve the meat. Because now, come to think of it, when it came to what Tessa felt about her coming wedding date, Charlotte was not so sure. Not sure at all.

**Basically, this chapter is just meant to be setting the scene in the Institute-checking up on all our favourites 3 and seeing what's changed for them in the past 2 months. Let me know what you think of the way I wrote Cecily and the others- possibly the most daunting part of all is trying to do the characters justice- pretty sure I failed for some of them (suddenly, Will's witty lines are nowhere to be seen ). Tessa and Jem will be in the next update. It's kinda uneventful, but bear with me- there's some serious twists coming up. Pretty-please review! A massive thanks to **Dewdrop Raine** and **the ticking clock** for reviewing xD**


	3. Chapter 2 Reality

The fire reflected in her grey-blue eyes as Tessa sat before it, gazing fixedly at _Vathek_ where it was open to one of the last pages. The tale had reached its climax, and yet she could not grasp the words where they were written. They slipped away from her, the way a persons' mind simply fell from her grasp when she could no longer hold the Change. _Two months_. Her mind echoed tiredly. Two months since the girl, Cecily Herondale, had appeared at the Institute doorstep. Two months since Charlotte had announced her pregnancy. Two months since James Carstairs, her closest friend, a Shadowhunter, and now her fiancé, had proposed to her. Two months since she had said yes.

How could she have said no, after all? It had all happened as if it were a strange dream. The words he spoke, so pull of passion, of love, his eyes reflecting to her all that he hoped, all that he wanted from her, _with_ her. And she loved him. Truly, she did. Seeing him so happy, so…complete, it warmed her heart. And yet…

She closed her heavy eyelids, if only for a moment, a sigh escaping quivering lips.

Because it had also been two months since Will had told her that he loved her. The same Will who had once insulted her to the brink of tears upon the roof of the Institute; the same Will who she and Jem had found sleeping and incoherent in a Downworlder drug den. But he was also the same Will who had comforted her in Yorkshire, the night after Aloysius Starkweather had shown them his collection of spoils- items he had taken from the Downworlders he had killed. The same Will who had saved Tessa's life, jeopardising his own in doing so, when a huge automaton-like creature had almost crushed her body. The same Will who had given Tessa her first kiss in the attic of the Institute. The same Will who had pushed her away, pushed everyone away, for fear of what he believed to be a curse placed upon him to cause harm to come to all who loved him- a curse which, as it turned out, had been nothing but the cruel trick of a demon. Will Herondale, the first boy Tessa had ever let her heart warm to, speaking to her the words she had always wanted him to say. And she had turned him away.

It was he who had given her _Vathek_, slipped under her door at night with a handwritten poem inviting her to read it in the front. Reading it now, Tessa could see why he had recommended it. The story truly was mad- yet captivating. Or at least, as captivating as a book could be when the one reading it was otherwise preoccupied by the constant, fast beating of a torn heart.

A knock on the door caused her eyes to fly open, and she turned, half hoping to see Sophie, and perhaps, if she was lucky, enquire about how things were between herself and Gideon. Since the Lightwood boy had turned against his father to side with Charlotte and the rest of the Institute against Mortmain, contrary to Sophie's fears, the Shadowhunter and the maid had been spending an increasing amount of time together- a fact which Tessa was pleased to know quite a lot about. She turned her head towards the door, a half smile touching her lips.

The smile vanished.

As Tessa looked towards the door, she found her gaze was met by a pair of blue eyes, set into an angular face of high cheekbones and dark hair.

"Cecily," she said, looking into the fire and closing her copy of _Vathek_, her tone flat. "This is a surprise."

"Will and I finished training a little early," Cecily said by way of explanation. "I thought even _I_ would never get him to stop! Well, I didn't really get _him_to stop, exactly- _he's_ still up there training- but Igot away, which is the important thing. _And_ his Highness has finally deigned to give me the day off. Tomorrow, I plan to do anything and everything _but_ train." She grinned smugly. Tessa felt a light pang in her chest as she did so. The expression on her face, the aura of pride, it all reminded Tessa of one thing.

"Well, that's good news," she said, still aware that her voice was almost rudely bland. "We must make plans for tomorrow then- unless of course you wish to rest. I know the exhaustion that training brings."

"Oh, all the rest I need is a nights' sleep," Cecily said cheerfully. "But now, we must discuss… what shall we do tomorrow? A picnic, perhaps, or a walk? We _could_ go into town, although Will made me promise that we wouldn't go alone. I see no real need to keep that promise, but if you do, you could always get Jem to accompany us."

"Perhaps," Tessa said idly. "Is there something you wish to buy in particular? I'm sure that it could be arranged to be delivered to you."

"Oh, I don't wish to _buy_ anything," Cecily said, as if this should be obvious. "It's the experience of it, isn't it? Two stunning girls like us, chatting and wondering about the town, trying things on and eating a mouthful or two." Her words were akin to something that Jessamine had once said- although Cecily said so in a joking tone- mocking the girls like Jessamine, who wished nothing but to be beautiful and fragile. Cecily was anything but the latter.

"If you gave Will your word that we would not go into town, you ought to keep it. In any case, I am not sure that Jem _would_like to serve as chaperone."

"I-" Cecily's' grin faded, and she raised her eye brows at Tessa, a gesture so like Will it was startling. "Tessa, have I done something to offend you?"

Tessa looked up at the other girl, shocked. "Offend me?"

"You speak as if you do not much care for my company," Cecily said quietly. "I am sorry if I am over-enthusiastic at times. I cannot say I've had a proper friend before. I had hoped that we might become friends…as time passed." She spoke so frankly, so very straight-forward. That, it seemed, was unlike Will. Then again, perhaps it was like him- after all, for the majority of the time that Tessa had known him, Will had not really been himself at all.

"Oh, but we are friends!" Tessa exclaimed at once, standing from her chair by the fire and walking over to Cecily. "Of course we are! Rest assured, you have done nothing to upset me."

"Oh," Cecily said, relief clear in her voice. "Well, that's good then. I feared for a moment I might need to improvise an apology speech, and I've never been very good at those."

Tessa shook her head with a laugh. "What on earth could you have done that might have required one?"

Cecily shrugged. "There's always something. My parents always say that I do not notice enough- that I expect too much, without giving enough to give cause to those expectations."

"Well, I do not know what they meant," Tessa said kindly.

"Me neither," Cecily said brightly. Tessa smiled back- but it was a half smile. The shadow of a grin.

"But then, if I have not offended you, what is the matter?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're upset," Cecily pointed out. "You've gone all pale, and you're doing that thing with your mouth."

"What thing with my mouth?" Tessa was honestly curious, if not a little defensive.

"This." The other girl mimicked her by way of answering, making her lower lip tremble and chewing at the inside of her cheek, her whole face contorting.

"I do not!" Tessa relaxed her jaw at once, immediately self conscious. Cecily noticed, and tried to hide a smile, but Tessa caught sight of it anyway. To her relief, and also surprise, she found an answering, abashed smile form on her lips, and felt her abdomen vibrate as she giggled. For a moment, they stayed like that, the Shadowhunter and the Downworlder girls sharing their laughter. Then, Tessa shook her head and fluttered her eyelids closed for a moment. Cecily had been the one who had been training ruthlessly all day, and yet it was Tessa who found herself almost unbearably tired. She stepped backwards once so that when she lowered herself, she perched on the edge of her bed. Cecily moved to sit beside her, concern etched into her face. For a moment, Tessa could only stare at the other girl. She was beautiful, of course. Perhaps all Herondales were. The kind of beauty that hurt your eyes if you gazed upon it for long enough. She blinked and brought her eyes to her own shoes.

"What is it, Tessa?" Cecily murmured. "You can tell me, you know. I _have_done something, haven't I? Tell me."

Tessa was silent for a long while before shaking her head.

"It is nothing that you have done."

"Then what?" the younger girl watched her with wide eyes.

"It grows late," Tessa said abruptly. Drawing herself up from the bed, she turned to gesture for Cecily to do the same, and moved towards the door. "I do hope we won't be late for dinner. You must be terribly hungry- I know I always am after I have trained."

"Oh, definitely," Cecily agreed whole-heartedly. She was still waiting, Tessa thought. Waiting for an answer- and oh, was Tessa dying to speak to someone, to share this burden of hers, if only partially. It was for this reason that she could not resist saying, just before she opened the door and they both made their way to the dining hall,

"It is nobody's fault, Cecily, least of all yours. Indeed, I _should_ be most happy. It is only that…you see, I cannot look at you without seeing your brothers' face."

She did not look at the other girl as she spoke, and before she could respond, Tessa had swung the door open and fled down the hall.

Will was not at dinner again. Tessa knew he would not be there before she entered the room, and yet she could not help but feel sad when she glanced across his empty seat at the long wooden table. She had hoped that now that the curse was gone, he might suddenly become more social, more civil- and yet now more than ever, they barely saw him outside of the training room. He had Cecily there, training her eight hours a day, and remained there for hours after she left. For all Tessa knew, he trained there all day and all night, not pausing to eat or drink or sleep at all, ever. It was only Bridget's hazy reassurance that he had popped into the kitchen late the last night- or, as was more accurate, in the early hours of that very morning that suggested otherwise. But Tessa should not- could not- dwell on thoughts of Will for long. Because there, occupying his own chair opposite her own regular one, and smiling at her the brightest, kindest smile, was Jem. Was her fiancé. It filled Tessa with a strange, half-nervous, half-giddy sensation to hear that word, let alone say it herself. "My fiancé…" was what she had introduced Jem to Cecily as, and a shiver had run down her spine as she did.

"Tessa," he said, caressing her name on his lips. "I was about to come and fetch you."

"We were just heading down," Tessa said, nodding her head towards Cecily, who emerged from behind Tessa a little way down the hallway. She had not tried to catch Tessa in her hurry. Suddenly, Tessa worried that perhaps Cecily had taken her words the wrong way- or worse, that she might tell Jem of their conversation. But Cecily merely grinned, cheerful as ever, and noisily scraped back her chair, plonking herself down in it and piling her plate with enough meat and vegetables to feed an army, as Aunt Harriet would say.

"Ah, Cecily," Jem said, pleased to see her- but then, Jem was pleased to see everyone. "I see you have your brothers' appetite as well as his inner thesaurus of curses."

Cecily flushed, looking remotely embarrassed. "I did not mean for-" she began, but Jem waved her away.

"You didn't mean for your colourful outburst of foul language to be overheard, I know. No need to fear- such range in vocabulary is to be congratulated. Worthy of His Highness Herondale himself."

"It must be a talent of ours," Cecily said timidly. Charlotte, who was being handfed by Henry from the end of a spoon, looked down their end of the table, letting out an amused sigh.

"Oh dear," she said. "It seems that even with Will missing, we still have a Herondales' spirit at the table."

"Not even a fellow Herondale quite shares Wills' character," Cecily disagreed politely.

"That's true," Tessa said before she could stop herself. She prepared herself to return Jem's gaze with an innocent expression, but he did not seem to feel that her comment was uncalled for or improper in any way. Tessa let out a breath she did not know she had been holding.

"There is no one in the world quite like our Will," Jem admitted. "Although I must say, Cecily, you both share a kind of restless nature. That, surely, must be a familial trait?"

Tessa nudged Jem with her foot under the table, glancing across at Cecily, but the other girl did not seem offended. She was just grinning, amusement, and even a pinch of pride, written across her features for all to read.

"What others call peaceful, I call boring," she agreed.

"I'd wager Will would say much the same thing," Charlotte said with a smile.

"It is an endearing quality, of course," Jem said hastily. "I only notice because I find myself exhausted often enough due to Wills' endless energy and active ways. He is a hard man to be blood brothers with." But he said so in a most affectionate way.

"You at least were able to choose this attachment yourself, you know. Unlike myself. Although, knowing my brother, it is unlikely that you had much of a choice either," Cecily said.

At the head of the table, Henry cleared his throat, a signal he had been using lately to testify his authority. The chatter that had been brightening the table dimmed, and four heads turned to Henry, eyes expectant. Henry rolled up his sleeves, feeling important. No wonder Charlotte had fought so desperately to hold her position as head of the Institute, he thought. It was a nice feeling, to share information, to discuss strategy, to be part of something bigger.

"While we all enjoy the pleasantries of a polite conversation," he said, "I'm afraid I must call our collective attention to the larger issue still at hand."

"Mortmain? Has there been a sighting? Any word from the Enclave?" Jem spoke up at once, his hand finding Tessa's under the table to hold onto it tightly as he did. While they had all suffered at the hand of the mysterious mundane, it was Tessa who he ultimately had a great hold over; a terrible hold. The knowledge of who, what, and why she was. And the desperation to find her, and use her for his own means, whatever they may be.

"Not a sighting exactly," Henry said carefully. "Although I am sure it was him. It would make perfect sense, given the context."

"What would make perfect sense?" Cecily inquired. "It would help if you actually told us, you know."

Henry grinned sheepishly. "Oh, right. Sorry. Well...it's Benedict Lightwood, you see."

"Benedict? Nobody's seen him for a long while," Charlotte's eyes widened. "Have they found where he's been hiding? But I didn't know that the Enclave where even looking...I don't suppose you felt inclined to share this information with me, Henry?"

Henry's eyes were apologetic. "I was only just informed," he said by way of explanation. "One of the Silent Brothers sent a letter just this afternoon, and I did not want to worry you. I thought I'd rather put it before the group."

Charlotte made an impatient noise. "Very well, very well, what is it then? Must you keep us in suspense?"

"Henry," Tessa spoke hesitantly, even as the red haired man opened his mouth to speak, face flushed with excitement. "Oughtn't we wait for Gideon to join us?"

"Gideon?" Cecily said blankly, looking over at Tessa.

"It is only that Benedict is his father," Tessa went on. "Even if he has renounced the name of 'Lightwood', he still cares for the man- he must. I believe that any business involving Benedict should be discussed with Gideon first." As everybody around the table eyed her, Tessa wondered if she sounded unreasonable; or stupid, even, asking Henry to wait pettily before sharing what was the first information that the Institute had received regarding Mortmain at all in several weeks. The truth was, she was thinking of Nathaniel, and how she would have felt if the Shadowhunters discovered something regarding him that they did not wait to talk about with her.

"Tessa has a point," Jem came to her aid; she smiled at him gratefully. "Family is family, after all."

"And what did the lovely Miss Gray say, pray tell?" the loud and low voice of Gideon himself found its way into the room. The shadows that crossed his face from the flickering fire and oil lamps in the room gleamed off his green eyes, so alike and yet so different to his brothers'. His hair was far darker than Jems', and far lighter than Wills'.

"Gideon," Charlotte said, relief slipping into her tone. "I'm glad you're here. We have received news."

Gideon straightened, standing still even more so than he did normally, which was very still indeed. "News? Of the Magister?"

"Of Benedict Lightwood," Charlotte told him. At that, his hands balled into fists, veins busting in his arms corded with thick muscle.

"My father," he said, jaw set. "What of him?"

"That's what we want to know," Cecily said impatiently, leaning towards Henry, glaring at him.

"You may want to take a seat," he suggested, eyeing the boy worriedly, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"I'll stand," Gideon said smoothly. "Now tell me, man, what of my father?" At that point, Sophie bustled into the room, adorned with tea on a slightly dirtied silver tray. She blushed when she saw Gideon, keeping her head down, but not before he could offer her a small smile that transformed his whole face into something rather beautiful. The group waited until Sophie had set the tea down and left the room before Gideon turned back to Henry, a question poised in the raise of his eyebrows.

"He- that is to say, Benedict Lightwood, was found in his carriage on the outskirts of Yorkshire- the country- with a single slaughtered driver. He himself bore red marks at his neck- nothing any seraph blade could have inflicted. The work of the Magister, I am almost sure of it. He was dead, Gideon. Mortmain has killed him."

Tessa dared not look at Gideon now. She remembered when Nate had died, died in her own arms. Despite everything he had done and said, in that moment, she had seen nothing in him but the loving brother she had known when this life was simpler. Because of this, she knew what Gideon must be feeling right now. Glancing around the table, it seemed that everyone else was doing the same thing. Henry spoke with his head drooping into the gravy, while Charlottes' gazed was fix on Henry; Jem was staring down at his and Tessa's intertwined hands as though they fascinated him. And then Tessa realised that it was not everyone who avoided his gaze. Cecily rose her eyes, those eyes as brilliantly blue as Wills', watching Gideon with interest. Watching his eyes tighten and close for a moment, watching as he sucked in his breath, leaning back against the wall as though he needed to keep his balance.

But, "well, there's one less traitor to deal with," was what he said.

"Amen to that," Cecily agreed with a little too much enthusiasm. Tessa gazed at her, almost appalled. Gideon opened his eyes and looked at Cecily, biting his lip and tilting his head like he was puzzling something out.

"Cecily," Charlotte said warningly.

"What?" the girl said, expression innocent. "Gideon doesn't mind. He disowned his father. Didn't you, Gideon?"

"Indeed," he said smoothly. "I suppose I did."

"Cecily," Charlotte said again, wary. "Perhaps you should go and see if Will will join us?"

"He won't," Cecily replied easily, but she slid out of her seat nevertheless, headed for the door.

"Much obliged, Cecily," Jem called after her. "It's always good of someone to remind Will to eat something once in a while."

Cecily's figure emerged back from near the door, a red travelling cloak now draped over her shoulders.

"Will? Who said anything about Will?" A mischievous grin flashed across her features, making her look more like a fallen angel than a Shadowhunter. "I am headed for the Tavern. Much obliged for the meal, Bridget!" she added loudly so that the cook could hear her. Swinging around in a swirl of scarlet material, Cecily marched to the door with a sense of purpose that only one other person could match or beat.

The rest of them watched the girl leave, none of them moving to stop her, and each of them bearing a small smile at that. This was not the first time that Cecily had announced her leave to the Tavern, and nor, they suspected, would it be the last time she did so. Just last week, Will and Jem had retrieved her from The Blue Dragon in the early hours of the morning, just as the suns' rays began to touch the sky. She had been, as Will had put it, ever and always fondly, 'completely wasted'. Of course, that had not stopped her from throwing herself into training the very next day.

"Somebody really should fetch Will, though," Charlotte broke the silence that had fallen over the group once they heard the door slam.

"Could Bridget not bring him something as she did last night?" Gideon inquired, and Tessa couldn't help silently singing a chorus of agreement.

"She could, but I really would feel better if he would only join us. Besides, I have spoken to Bridget, and she says that he has not been by once today for food. I fear yesterdays' meal may have been his last, assuming that he actually _ate_it. It's like when he first arrived all over again, this constant training. I suppose what with Mortmain…but there is only so much he could improve. His technique is excellent as it is."

Jem edged his chair backwards a fraction, concern colouring his silver eyes.

"He's not eaten once today? Perhaps you are right Charlotte. I should find him and talk some sense into him." He drew himself out of his chair, hesitating as his eyes found Tessa, and a crooked smile formed on his lips. "Unless of course you wish to accompany me, my betrothed?" His hand was still warm in Tessa's, silently asking that she stand up with him. She half moved her chair backwards, wishing in that moment only to please Jem, but as she blinked, the memory of_his_ blue eyes was all she saw. Tessa drew her hand from Jem's as if his touch burned her, smiling apologetically.

"That's alright, Jem," she said. "I am quite sure that you will convince him more hastily without my involvement, in any case."

Jem chuckled. "I suppose the two of you do seem to argue rather a lot. It is not surprising; after all, you are the only one of us, I think, who was ever able to truly get the better of him."

Tessa thought of the look on Wills' face when she had told him that it didn't matter that he loved her. _It's too late,_she had told him, hurt aching in her voice.

"I suppose I am."

She wondered what Jem would do if he knew how she had hurt his parabatai; that it was quite possibly because of her that he was in the training room right now, torturing his muscles as he kicked, hit, ducked, and ran. She wondered if he would look at her with anger- with disappointment. Then she wondered which would be worse.

All he did now was smile at her, raising his hand in silent farewell as he left Tessa with Charlotte, Henry, and a stony faced Gideon. The way he smiled, Tessa couldn't help but smile back, as honestly and as truly as she had ever smiled before, even despite the guilt that was still clenched like a fist in her chest over Will. But that was just the thing about Jem, she thought as she watched him leave. Around him, it was impossible to be unhappy. And from now onwards, she _would_ be around him, indefinitely, for the rest of his days.


	4. Chapter 3 Favour

**Hellloo! xD Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last few chapters- I'm really surprised and glad that you liked the story so far! Hopefully you'll like this chapter too. Sorry, no WillxTessa yet- just a bit of drama and bromance with WillxJem. Next update will have a lil' JemxTessa and GideonxSophie to make up for lack of it so far, and from there, good old Mortmain will step in to do what he does best and stuff everything up :). Please review and tell me what you think!**

Will was already there, barefoot and shirtless, when Gideon ushered Sophie and Tessa into the training room the next morning. His hair was plastered to his head with sweat, and he stood flinging long knives at a target board across the room, each hitting its mark with a dull thud. Even as the three moved towards him across the boards, Will appeared not to see them, throwing the knives still, so accurately and so perfectly that it made Sophie's fingers prickle with jealousy. She had always wanted to be a Shadowhunter- to have that natural grace and skill that seemed to come with being one of the Nephlim. She had been training as one for weeks now, and yet she knew that there were Shadowhunter children far more talented than she was in the art of defence and attack. Gideon had disagreed, of course, whenever she had suggested such a thing.

The Lightwood boy cleared his throat, making Will finally aware of their presence. Holding up a finger in their direction to signal them to stand still for a moment longer, Will lobbed the last knife at the target. It hid the bull's-eye square in the centre. Stepping back with a kind of satisfaction, he turned to face them.

"Decided to train again? It's been a while, hasn't it Gideon?"

"I prefer to ease my students into the practices," was Gideon's low reply.

Will grinned. "I prefer to pummel my student with ruthless attacks. Each to his own, it seems." His attention was fixed sorely on the other boy, paying no mind at all to Sophie, and even less so to Tessa, for which she was grateful. This would not have been the first time she had seen his bare chest, but that did not make this any less uncomfortable.

"Indeed. I wonder what Cecily plans to do with her single day off?" Gideon said politely.

"I haven't seen her today," Tessa said, sudden concern for Cecily making her speak. "I haven't seen her since she left for the Tavern yesterday, come to think of it."

"Nor have I," Sophie said, frowning a little. "You don't suppose she slept there?"

"Slept there? Unlikely. Went back to another home for the night? Now that's more plausible," Gideon said.

Will hissed through his teeth. "Cecily's not like that."

"She's a big girl, Will," Gideon said, though his tone was joking. He joked a lot more now, despite the fact that Will had once claimed that all he ever did was stand around and glare.

"Don't, Gideon." Tessa said. "She'll be back soon, in any case. I'm sure. We have plans for later on."

"That we do," Gideon acknowledged. Will looked from Gideon to Tessa, an eyebrow raised.

"'We', as in the two of you, and my sister? A strange combination. And what do these plans consist of?"

"'We' as in myself, Sophie, Cecily, Henry, Charlotte, James, and Tessa. We are going to Hyde Park- a picnic in London. Cecily's idea, of course."

Sure enough, Cecily had hurried back into the Institute just minutes after leaving, having walked halfway to the Tavern before remembering that Tessa had not actually agreed to any specific plan for the next day. The whole picnic had been arranged in a matter of seconds at the dinner table, just as Jem had returned having been unsuccessful in persuading Will to come down and eat. The girl had beamed at them all as they agreed before she pranced back outside, never downhearted, in her pursuit of music, company, and beverages.

"My, what a gathering," Will said. "The Institute shall be entirely empty aside from myself!"

"You are not to join us, then?" Gideon inquired when Tessa did not.

Will just shook his head. "Picnics," he said, "are for girls."

"I'm sure Jem would resent that comment," Tessa said before she could stop herself.

"As do I," Gideon said indignantly. Nobody stood to speak for Henry.

Will shrugged. "In any case, I will enjoy having the place to myself."

"Not quite to yourself, Master Will," Sophie said. "Cyril will drive us there, but Bridget will remain behind."

"Ah, Bridget," Will shivered. "I do swear on the Angel, the next time she sings of stinging betrayal and murder, I'll-"

"Meaning no disrespect," Gideon said calmly. "But will you allow me to begin my training any time soon?"

Will stopped midsentence with his mouth half open, closing it dumbly as he took in what Gideon was saying: we don't want to talk to you anymore. We came here to train.

"Go ahead," he inclined towards the floorboards in a half-hearted gesture, stepping aside towards the door. Walking with his hair falling into his eyes like that, never bothering to push them away, Tessa couldn't help but feel suddenly sorry for him.

"You should eat something," she said softly. He didn't turn around, but he stopped walking.

"What?"

"You weren't at dinner last night, and Bridget said that you didn't visit the kitchen, either," Sophie supplied.

"Indeed. Although, with Bridget being the one to occupy the kitchen, we can hardly blame him for it," Gideon said. Sophie's mouth twitched into a smile at that.

"No we can't," Will called over his shoulder as he left, his tone just a little bit brighter. Noticing this, Tessa's smile was a little brighter itself when she turned to Gideon, a question in her eyes.

"Are we going to begin, then?"

Gideon, who had been gazing at Sophie, flushed red and turned around, clearing his throat.

"What was that? Oh, of course. Yes." He stepped into the centre of the room, beckoning them to follow him. "Today, ladies, you will learn how to fight when you find yourself unarmed."

"Will? Will! Goddamn you, open the door." Jem banged his fist against the door, the wood creaking in protest as he did. Still, there was no answer from inside. "Will, really, are you planning to never speak to me again?"

"Yes." A low voice sounded from inside the room. Jem grinned in relief as at last the door swung inwards, and Will appeared, dishevelled and grumpy, at the entrance.

"I was beginning to think I would have to kick the door down," he said. "Will, what were you doing?"

Will pulled something out from behind him; a small, leather-bound book. "I was reading."

Jem narrowed his eyes. "A Tale Of Two Cities? How many times is it now that you've read that book in the past two months alone?"

"It's a good book," Will said defensively. "I was up to a very suspenseful bit when you so rudely interrupted me. This better be important, Carstairs."

"It is," Jem said. Without asking, he invited himself into the room, settling himself down on a chair that was half covered in draped over coats, scarves, and boots. He kicked the muddy boots off in disgust and sat down. "I have not seen much of you recently, Will. Cecily tells me you've been training her like a madman up there, every day. And you haven't been eating. Even now, you chose to simply sit alone in your room-"

"Reading," Will reminded him. Jem inclined his head.

"Reading, rather than talking to any of the rest of us. Something is the matter, and I have come, William, to find out what. Does it have to do with- that is to say, the curse…?" Will had come to tell him of the business with the Pyxis Box and the blue demon over time, and Jem was moved with concern and pity by his story. He had tried to tell him this, of course, but Will had merely shaken it off like a dog might shake off the unwanted strokes of a hand.

"It's nothing about the curse," Will said abruptly before Jem could further breach the subject.

Jem looked at him steadily. "What is it about, then?"

"It's nothing about the curse," he repeated, "and everything to do with the fact that Mortmain is out there building an army of automations, a Pyxis in his hands. He's leagues ahead of us here, Jem, and I have to be prepared. I have to train, now more than I ever have before, if I'm going to keep you and Tessa safe-"

"Tessa," Jem smiled at that. "You're right, Will. Quite right. I have been too caught up in my happiness to see it that way- too dazed about wedding plans and the rest. I suppose I ought to start training with you."

"That's alright," Will said. "You focus on the wedding, James. It's yours, after all." An almost sad smile played at his lips. "Leave the violence to me."

Jem chuckled. "You always were the best at that." Then he grew more sombre. "Thank you, William. Really. You always have known me better than anyone- enough to know that if you had not saved Tessa in the tea warehouse, I might have died of grief, and now, enough to protect her for me once more. I did not expect so much from you, and I am immensely grateful."

"How good it is to know that you held lower expectations of me, Jem," Will said with a single laugh.

Jem shook his head, a small smile still at his lips. "I have something to ask you, Will. Something that I should have probably asked you a good few weeks ago, really."

"Jem, please. You know that relationships are strictly forbidden in parabatai, and besides, I can't imagine that Tessa would be at all pleased if you were unfaithful. I'm afraid I just don't like you like that."

Jem rolled his eyes. "Stop fooling around and listen for a moment. I wanted to ask you if you'll be the best man at my wedding." Jem heard the sharp inhale of breath as Will took in what he was saying, his eyes growing wide.

"Best man," he muttered, glancing at Jem for a moment before staring down at his own hands. "I- goodness. James, I'm not sure that I can do that."

"It's not so much work, really," Jem said lightly, taken aback by the other boy. He had expected Will to be pleased- or, if not, to roll his eyes and inquire as to preparing a speech to give at the wedding. Now he struggled to get Will to look at him. "All you need to do is wear a suit, stand around, talk to people here and there, be a legal witness, stand by me at the altar- and of course, in mundane tradition, since we will have no ring bearer, I would like you to hold the rings during the ceremony."

"I thought you said it's not so much work," Will said, still intensely fascinated by his own, scarred fingers. "You just listed at least five things that I would have to do."

Jem frowned at him. "I don't understand. You would happily put your life on the line for me, jump in front of a demon or an automaton, protect the girl I love, and yet you would object to holding our rings for a few moments?"

"Holding your rings," Will said softly, a strained edge to his voice.

"Will, are you alright?" Jem was watching him carefully.

Steadily, Will lifted his head and met his own blue eyes with Jem's silver ones.

"You're my parabatai," he said. "My blood brother." He staggered against the wall.

"Yes," Jem said, rising from the chair and placing a hand on Will's forearm to steady him. "I am proud to be. What's gotten into you?"

Will didn't answer. Instead, he leaned on the frame of his door, breathing as if he had been running a long distance. Then, in a coarse voice, he spoke.

"You are my closest family, and my closest friend. I…would be honoured, Jem. I would be honoured to be the best man at your wedding."

An overwhelming sense of gratitude and joy came over Jem at that, but he did not shout or laugh in his delight. Instead, he spoke very simply and very clearly, two words.

"Thank you."

There was silence then, as Jem and Will locked eyes with one another, each wondering, not for the first time, what on earth the other could possibly be thinking. Each wondering, not for the first time, what on earth they would do without the other.


	5. Chapter 4 Seeking Sophie Collins

**Bonjour! Here's the next chapter- sorry, it's a bit of a filler, but it's all leading up to something big Thank you to everyone who's been reviewing, pleeaasee keep it up and Will and Jem will both love you :P. I won't be able to update for about another week, but I promise I'll try to make the chapters worth the wait. **

**Disclaimer: the fantabulous Cassie Clare owns the series. I'm just borrowing all her characters and putting them through hell in my own, unique way :P **

"May I come in?"

Tessa warmed at the sound of his voice, floating in from the half-open door. She had only just arrived back from training, still wearing her gear and plastered in sweat, yet she did not hesitate to invite him inside. Jem would not mind.

"I have not seen you in a while," he said as he stepped through the doorway and embraced her lightly, planting a kiss on her cheek so gently that it sent blood rushing to her face. She laughed lightly; she always felt light when she was alone with Jem, as though she was floating on air, fearless of falling for knowledge that he would catch her if she did.

"I saw you at breakfast," she corrected him with a smile.

"Ah, but breakfast was far too long ago!" Jem said, and Tessa gasped in surprise as he lifted her feet off the ground, spinning her in circles across the room until the pair came to a clumsy crash at the wardrobe by the mirror. But they were both laughing.

"Somebody's in a good mood," Tessa raised an eyebrow at him.

"I am just happy to see you," Jem said softly, his face suddenly very close to hers. "And…"

"And?" Tessa drew back, but only teasingly. "Why, Mr Carstairs, are you saying that the prospect of my company is not enough to warrant such a good mood alone?"

Jem grinned apologetically. "No, no, I'm saying no such thing. It is only that I have good news! Excellent news, in fact."

Tessa narrowed her eyes a little, sitting at the edge of her bed and gesturing for Jem to take a seat beside her. "News regarding Mortmain?"

That seemed to dampen Jem's spirits a little, and Tessa immediately regretted raising the issue. Jem had been happy far more often than not lately, and yet it made Tessa unbearably sad to see him any other way.

"No," he admitted, a hint of shame in his voice. "No, unfortunately, aside from the Lightwood situation, there has been no word of the Magister."

The seed of fear that seemed constantly planted in Tessa's chest flared a little, but she paid it no mind. "What is it that you came to tell me, then?"

"It is of our wedding," Jem said, and Tessa felt immediately guilty for not guessing at much to begin with. "We now officially have found a best man in one Will Herondale."

Tessa froze, wide eyes flying up to meet Jem's. "He…you asked him? And he agreed?"

Jem's grin became less wild as he looked at her uncertainly. "I did, and he did. Is something the matter?"

Tessa shook her head, her mind whirling; whirling right back to that terrible night in the drawing room, when Will had told her that he loved her, and when she had said that she was to be married to Jem. She remembered the look on his face, so raw with shock and pain that it took everything she had not to take him in her arms, anything to make him smile again. For him to bear their engagement was one thing. For him to be best man at the wedding… Tessa winced, not wanting to imagine what it would have done to him when Jem, completely oblivious, had asked that honour of him.

"I should have asked you first, I know," Jem said. "I know that the two of you have had difficulties in the past- that he had been less than welcoming to you at first. But I had thought that things had begun to change. That you were getting along more readily. You are my bride to be, and he is my parabatai." He was looking at her imploringly now, asking her to accept his decision, to condone it.

"Oh, of course," Tessa said at once. "Of course. I mean, we are getting along- he did save my life at the tea warehouse, after all. I had only forgotten for a moment that we would have a best man. Even though our ceremony is to be a combination of both Shadowhunter and mundane traditions, I must confess, I keep forgetting the details of either."

"It is rather a lot to remember," Jem said. "It is to you to select a Maid Of Honour, you know."

"Maid Of Honour," Tessa repeated numbly. "I remember. Normally they serve to help the bride with shopping and planning- although we have all combined to plan the most of it, so I don't suppose that quite applies. I was thinking of asking…" she glanced at Jem, positive that he would approve of whatever her choice was, yet hesitating all the same.

"Who would you ask, Tessa?" he asked, his features warm and inviting.

"I would have Sophie as Maid of Honour," she said quickly. "should she find it agreeable."

Jem looked at her, his eyes widening just a fraction. Then, his face relaxed into a smile.

"I'm sure that she will," he said. "A fitting choice, Tessa. I have no doubt that Sophie will do a fine job at being your Maid of Honour."

Tessa smiled and reached out to grasp Jem's hand. "Thank you," she said. "I knew you would think so."

"Did you, now?" Jem said playfully, nudging her side. "Although, might I add, you may not want to delay to ask her, if you would like her help with shopping and such."

"You are right."

Tessa straightened up, moving to stand even as Jem protested.

"I did not mean for you to leave right away! I had hoped perhaps we might spend some more time together."

Tessa turned to him, hiding how pleased she was at the look of disappointment on his face.

"While I would like that immensely, I am currently rather filthy and in desperate need of a bath, in case you had not noticed, Jem," she said, gesturing at her clothes, hair stuck to her head and damp with sweat. "I do believe that I need to see Sophie right away, for two reasons."

He gave her a disarming smile, standing up to go.

"Ah, even I cannot argue with two reasons," he said. "Although, just for the record, I did not notice." He was still holding her hand in his, and when he raised it to his mouth, lips glancing swiftly across her knuckles, Tessa took him by surprise and caught his chin in her fingers, raising his face to hers. They were close enough to kiss, hot air from Jem's mouth breathing into hers even as she raised her lips to meet his-

Jem chuckled then, reluctantly pulling away. Tessa blinked at him.

"Is something wrong?"

Jem looked over her shoulder towards the door, a sheepish grin on his face. "You recall how you said that you needed to see Sophie right away…"

By the door, somebody cleared their throat in amusement.

"Is it a bad time, Miss?"

Gideon paced the training room, absentmindedly packing away the days' equipment. Lately, his mind had but one agenda, and that one, he swore, would someday drive him completely mad, in wonderful and terrible manner. Sophie.

The maid enchanted him, her character catching his curiosity at her every word or movement. The way she worked so hard, at everything that she did, the way she served as though it were nothing, and spoke so honestly and bluntly that he feared if he one day asked her what she truly felt for him, her answer would be so brutally truthful that it would tear at his heart.

Today they had trained together, although it was barely called training anymore. He didn't know how she'd had the time to practice- what with her endless chores and housework- and yet her technique had vastly improved as time had passed, her executions almost flawless. If she had Shadowhunter blood in her, he thought, she would be as fine as any other on the battlefield. She was wonderful to teach- her curiosity, enthusiasm, and obedience remarkable, and yet, as she had made painfully clear, that was all she intended to be for him. Just a student. She didn't understand, he thought despairingly, that he had not deserted his family for the cause, or for what was right, but for her. Those other things were important, of course, but compared to her they were meaningless flickers of reason. He had thought that once he had proven that he loved her as truly and strongly as one would need to love someone to defy their family for them, that she would welcome his courtship with open arms. He had been wrong.

"Sophie," he had said, just as everyone else had left and the girl was hovering by the stairwell the led away from the training room. "Might I speak to you for a moment?"

"Was something wrong with my work in the lesson today, Sir?" she had asked without expression, turning to face him, yet, he felt, not really seeing him at all.

"Your work was fine, Sophie," he'd said. "More than fine, it was excellent. That is not what I wanted to speak to you about."

"Aside from if you require something washed or cleaned, Master Gideon, there is nothing that you could think to want to speak to me about." She had turned to leave, but he caught her arm, none too gently.

"Wait! Sophie, please," he had said. "I don't understand. Yesterday evening, you-"

"I apologise," she'd replied. "If my actions last night caused you confusion. But I am a mundane servant, and you are a Shadowhunter. In the end, nothing else matters."

"I don't believe that."

"I don't want to, either," she had whispered. "Gideon."

For a moment, he had thought that maybe, finally, she would believe in him, believe in herself. But that look in her eyes soon cooled into distance, and she had walked away, turning on her heel, and not stopping even as he had called her name.

"Will?" A voice broke through his reverie, and Gideon spun around hastily to meet the raised eyebrows of Cecily Herondale.

"You're not Will." She sounded annoyed.

_And you're not Sophie,_ his mind recited sadly.

"Who finally got him to leave, then? I thought he'd never stop training."

"I did," Gideon said, a little stiffly. Cecily grinned and inclined her head towards him, raising her hand to her head.

"Quite an accomplishment getting Will to do anything, if I do say so myself. My respects to you, Sir," she said. Gideon gave a small smile back, swinging a bag of weapons over his shoulders as he made to finally leave the room for the day.

"And where have you been, since last night?" he asked. "Nobody heard you come in. Are you only just now returned?"

"Only just now," she confirmed, the smile never leaving her face. "As for where I've been…here, there, everywhere. I do love the city life. There's so much more to do here than there was in Yorkshire."

"Your home with your mother and father," Gideon said. "Do you have any more ideas as to why Mortmain lent it to you all those years ago?"

She shook her head glumly. "More's the pity. For all I knew Mortmain was just an old family friend of my fathers whom he met when he first started gambling- after Will left. As for his ulterior motive, I can only guess that he wanted control. The Herondales were once a powerful family, you know. It would make sense for him to want a powerful family on his side. Little did he know, his plan would backfire." A scornful smirk crossed her features.

"I could say the same about my own family," Gideon said, but Cecily didn't look like she was paying attention to him. Her eyes flew about the room, as though she was looking for something.

"Hmm. Anyway, do you know where Tessa is? If I remember correctly, and I'm quite sure that I do, it was our plan to go on a picnic this afternoon," she interrupted.

Gideon suppressed the immature urge to roll his eyes.

"We were _all _going to go on a picnic this afternoon, aside from that deranged cook and your own brother. Nobody knew where you were, so the plan has been postponed. In case you had not noted it, it is already afternoon now. It would be evening by the time we got to the park. We will need to reschedule." He moved to pass her, but was stopped by a very defiant "no."

"No what?" he said, exasperated.

"I don't want to postpone the picnic," she said crossly. "I want to go now. There's still time before the sun goes down. Didn't you all know that I'd be back in time for the picnic?"

"But you're not back in time," Gideon said, becoming rapidly annoyed. "Really, I don't see-"

"I'll ask Charlotte," she said, as though that settled it. "And then we'll leave."

Gideon glared at her, and was about to say something when Cecily added:

"Don't look at me like that. It's not as if you aren't dying to spend time with Sophie, anyway. People aren't blind, you know."

She stalked away, barely taking the time to notice the red blush at his cheeks that proved her right.

Gabriel looked after for a moment with the weapons in his hands, temporarily forgetting why he was holding them in the first place. Shaking his head, he remembered, and began making his way to the weapons room, one word escaping his lips.

"Herondales."

Tessa was staring at Sophie, suddenly feeling as nervous as she ever had been around the maid. Although she had always been determined to see the girl as a friend and an equal, she couldn't help but feel now as if it was Sophie who was her Master, and that her decision was all that Tessa depended on. She was immensely grateful for Jem's presence, and she held tightly to his hand as though it were a shield, still just looking at Sophie, mouth open yet no words coming out.

"If I am interrupting anything, Miss, I would gladly leave," Sophie was the first to speak after a moment of uncomfortable silence. She was eyeing Jem's hand in Tessa's.

"What? Oh, no, of course not Sophie. I was about to send for you myself. Jem and I- that is to say…Sophie, I have something that I would like to ask you."

"Do you want me to leave?" Jem murmured in her ear, his hand loosening in hers uncertainly.

Sophie stepped further into the room, raising a single eyebrow in question. The expression on her face highlighted the scar that blemished her cheek, making her look almost threatening. Tessa suddenly could not bear the thought of having to do this by herself. She wrapped her hand more firmly around Jem's, pulling him closer to her in answer.

"Since my arrival at the Institute," Tessa began, her voice catching as though she had a cold, "you have been more than a wonderful maid. You have been a friend- one of the first people here that I could confine in, and that I came to trust. I have told you before that you are as lovely and as kind as Charlotte, but you are also as brave as any Shadowhunter I have met. I would be...greatly humbled to have such a friend and a person to be my Maid of Honour."

She looked up, anticipating Sophie's reaction. The girl had frozen, an expression of upmost surprise on her face as she looked back at Tessa, and then glanced behind her, at Jem.

"You…I don't understand, Miss," she whispered.

Tessa opened her mouth, but it was Jem who spoke, suddenly comprehending that Tessa was far too nervous to clarify for herself.

"She is asking, and I would give my upmost support to her request, if you would agree to be our Maid of Honour at the wedding, Sophie Collins." A small smile played at his lips as he said so, watching the shine in Sophie's eyes.

"Maid of Honour," she gasped, eyes wide, and suddenly glowing to the point that Tessa realized that there were tears dwelling in them, threatening to spill over her cheeks. "Well I never…"

"You will say yes, won't you, Sophie?" Tessa asked anxiously. "I do not know if you particularly enjoy shopping or-"

"Enjoy it?" Sophie widened her eyes, a look of incredulity on her face.

"I mean to say," Tessa began, "I do not wish to pressure you into anything-" But she was interrupted by Sophie, who had gathered her skirts and rushed across the room, pulling Tessa into a tight embrace.

"Sophie-"

"My apologies Miss," she exclaimed, leaping back and smoothing her rumpled dress, "that was uncalled for." Her cheeks had grown rosy, but her dark eyes sparkled.

"So," Tessa began, a grin playing across her lips, "I'll take that as a yes?"

Sophie smiled. "It would be an honour.

**So there we have it: a Best Man, a Maid of Honour, and everyone's going for a picnic. Hmm...far too peaceful and happy for Mortmain's liking. Things are JUST about to be shaken up like salt and pepper. Go on then, hit that review button! What did you think? :) Thanks for reading.**


	6. Chapter 5 Trouble in Paradise

**So, finally back from my holiday Hopefully this update makes up for the looongg delay! (Holiday, delay….it rhymes! Hehee). Finally, a bit of drama in the story, and just a teensy cliffhanger at the end ;). I will probably put up the next chapter later on today, just cos it's written up and ready to go. Thank you to those who have been reviewing/following my fanfic so far Didn't really expect anyone to read it, so thanks! Please keep reviewing and tell me what you think- love it, hate it, Oky-dokay it…please? :P Welll, enough of me rambling. Here we go!**

Cecily swung the picnic basket in her hands, impatient as Jem and Gideon worked to spread a picnic rug across the grass. It was late afternoon now, and the sun was a bright orange light, highlighting Jem's silver hair, making it look like a halo dancing over his head. Seeing him now, Tessa thought, it was easy to believe that he was part angel. As if sensing her eyes on him, Jem looked up and smiled right at her, setting the corner of the blanket on the ground and walking towards her, fingers grazing gently down her arms until he grasped one wrist in each hand.

"Are you hungry?" He lead her towards the blanket as he spoke, never talking his eyes off hers as he motioned for her to sit down. She did, shifting a little closer to him then was necessary.

"Starving," she said. "I'm beginning to get used to the training now, but it never fails to leave me completely drained. It seems to be a talent of Gideon's-" she broke off, suddenly remembering that Gideon himself was very much there, and very much within earshot. Something about Jem made her feel like there was nobody but the two of them on that picnic. In reality, Charlotte, Henry, Gideon, Cecily and Cyril were all already seated on the blanket. Her cheeks flushed red and she turned to Gideon guiltily. "If you'll beg my pardon, Sir."

To her surprise, Gideon only chuckled. "If you're not exhausted after training, there is something horribly wrong. It is a saying."

"Not an original quote of yours?" Tessa asked, smiling back at him. He looked like he was about to reply, but then an expression crossed over his features, and he said something else instead, calling over his shoulder.

"Sophie, come, sit with us."

Tessa looked behind her, and realized that indeed, Sophie was not with them, but fluttering around, setting all the food onto trays and preparing plates for them all. She looked up with a start when Gideon addressed her, flushing furiously.

"That is alright, Sir, I-"

"We can slice our own bread, Sophie, truly," Tessa added, feeling guilty for not noticing Sophie's absence sooner. She had been too occupied with admiring Jem. Jem. Her own silver angel.

"You have done enough for me already, Ma'am," Sophie said quickly, looking at her feet before anybody could note the shine in her eyes. She bustled into the middle of the rug, piling all the food there neatly, setting a plate and a glass in front of everyone. It all looked very good, too- cheese and olives and fresh baked bread, all kinds of dips, and a hearty slab of meat that seemed fit to feed an army. Tessa reached forward gratefully and began to pile her plate.

"Oh, do take a seat, Sophie. Whatever do you mean, enough for you already?" Charlotte said. "Tessa?" Cecily added, eyebrow raised.

Tessa glanced at Jem for a moment, who gave her an encouraging look, and then at the curious faces of the others, before she decided to tell them. Better now than never, she told herself.

"This afternoon," she said, speaking so that everybody could hear her, "I have asked Sophie to be Maid of Honour, at my wedding, as one of my closest friends."

There was the inhale of breath around the circle, each person reacting differently. Sophie, the poor girl, was blushing under all the attention as everyone's eyes flickered to her and then to Tessa.

"And?" Cecily demanded. Tessa blinked. Four sets of eyes were now boring into hers, eagerly.

"And?" Tessa repeated, not understanding the question. She found herself in a daze, head spinning as the world seemed to shift around her. She looked down at the drink in her hand; she did not think it was alcoholic. In her confused state, she thought she saw a flash of silver from behind the surrounded shrubs.

Jem came to her rescue, holding her hand more tightly and bringing her back to reality.

"And she has agreed. Ladies and gentlemen, may we proudly present to you, our Maid of Honour." He flourished his spare hand towards Sophie. There were exclamations of joy and congratulations across the picnic spread. Henry mumbled something with his mouth full of bread, patting Sophie on the back and showering her in crumbs in the process. Charlotte apologized loudly for Henry, before moving to embrace Sophie herself. Cecily grinned and congratulated Sophie. Cyril scrambled from the other side of the picnic blanket to give her a hearty slam on the back. Gideon just looked at her, and smiled, that wonderful, bright smile of his that warmed Sophie's heart and broke it all at once. "Congratulations, beautiful," he said, so quietly that he doubted the others- even Sophie- could hear him at all. It didn't matter, he thought, as he watched the girl embrace her friends. He'd had to say it anyway.

The rest of the afternoon- or, as it soon became, the evening- was spent with much talk of the wedding, the shockingly good weather, and Charlotte and Henry's plans for their baby. Talking like that, with a group of such people that Tessa felt she was among both friends and family all in one, it was so easy to forget about Mortmain. About the Automatons. About Will. Yet still, coming and going so suddenly it made her uneasy, Tessa found herself feeling dizzy, the world spinning around her. She set down her cup, not planning to take another sip. Whatever it was, it seemed it was not doing her any favours.

"Are you alright?" Jem whispered. Tessa just nodded, brushing escaped locks of hair out of her face, and waiting for the dizziness to pass over her, concentrating on the conversation at hand.

"Do you want our child to be bullied, Henry? There is absolutely no way I will let you call him Bjorn!" Charlotte cried out over the laughter of the others. Henry took another sip from his cup and looked offended. "He would not be bullied. Bjorn is a perfectly good name. Don't you think so?" he asked of the others, nobody in particular. None of them came to his aid. "Really, Henry, you'd be cursing them before they were even born," Cecily said, looking bored. Despite the fact that it was her plan to come here, and despite all her earlier enthusiasm, Cecily did not seem to be having such a good time at the picnic. She was eating her food very quickly, and she kept looking at the setting sun, glaring at it as though it had personally offended her. The way it highlighted her slanted cheekbones and deep blue eye colour, it was hard to imagine why she would scorn it. Perhaps it was because Will was not with them.

"Nonsense! I'm right, aren't I? Gideon, man to man, if your mother and father had named you-"

"No," Gideon said shortly, but with a small smile. "It's perfectly ridiculous. No, I would not have it."

"Cyril?"

"If my next week's pay is not at stake, Sir, then I must admit that I agree with Master Gideon. Ridiculous name, Bjorn," the driver grinned toothily at Henry.

"Jem?" Henry looked around for a third opinion without much hope. Jem just lowered his eyes in apology.

"I'm sorry, Henry," he said, by way of answering. Henry hung his head, dismayed.

"You're mad," he declared. "All of you. Not recognizing a suited name even as it stares you in the face! I suppose if I suggested to call him Mulchmore-" the group flinched at the very name, saving Henry the need to say any more.

"You seem awfully set on the baby being a boy," Tessa remarked, pity for Henry moving her to change the subject. "What if it turns out that she is a girl?"

"My Mulchmore, a girl?" Henry cried out indignantly.

"Here we go," Charlotte murmured, putting her head in her hands. "Henry, dear, please, not this again. In short, Tessa, Henry is absolutely certain that we are to soon have a son. I've pointed out that it might well be a daughter, of course, but he won't hear of it."

"You think it's going to be a boy, too," Cecily said. "You kept calling it 'he', just before."

Henry looked up in triumph, punching a hand into the air. "Aha! You see, Lottie? I must be right! You agree with me!"

"I do not, it has merely grown on me, what with you being so insistent on calling our child a 'he'," Charlotte said, quick to deny Henry his victory. Sophie let out a giggle behind her hand as she watched the couple bicker, and Charlotte shot her a look. It was not an angry look, or even a disapproving look, and yet at once, Sophie straightened her back and arranged her features into a carefully blank expression. Charlotte sighed. No matter how many times she asked the girl to call her Charlotte, it was always going to be Mrs Branwell. No matter how many times she asked the girl to relax, and to speak her mind, she would always compose herself around her, determined to distinguish the difference between Servant and Master. It had gotten worse when she had admitted to stepping out with Gideon Lightwood, too. Sophie had been so ashamed that she had bustled around for weeks, working and formally apologizing at every opportunity she received. When would she learn, Charlotte wondered, that she was as much a part of the Institute's family as Will or Tessa?

Somebody else's voice interrupted Charlotte's line of thought.

"I'm sorry to change the subject- I was just wondering about something that I thought you all might be able to help me with." It was Tessa, brow furrowed just a fraction.

"What is it?" Cecily asked with a little interest, taking a strawberry and swallowing it whole.

"In Mundane weddings, the father of the bride is supposed to walk her down the isle- to give her away," Tessa began. "Is that so with Shadowhunter weddings as well?"

"It is," Sophie, to everyone's surprise, was the one to answer. "Shadowhunter weddings are quite akin to the mundane ceremonies, save for a few things, such as the colour being gold and not white, and the runes of commitment instead of rings. The vows are slightly different as well- although it is allowed that the bride and groom write their own vows, too. Traditionally, the father of the bride still gives her away." There was a pause in which everybody stared at Sophie. "I've been doing some research," she added, cheeks slightly red. "A brides maid must be prepared." Gideon smiled at her.

"Traditionally it is the father, then," Tessa repeated. "But I have no father. Does that mean that I must walk alone, or may I chose somebody else? For instance, a father figure, or a mother?"

"Is that the Mundane practice?" Cecily asked curiously. Tessa shrugged her shoulders.

"I am unsure," she said. "Sophie? Do you know?"

Sophie hesitated. "I think that it would be possible. You would not need to walk alone. A father figure- in most cases, some form of family, like an uncle, or perhaps a close family friend- my step in to give the bride away."

"Must it be a man, then?" Tessa went on. Cecily raised her eyebrows, the rest of them looking just as confused.

"Tessa, what do you-" Jem began, but he never finished the question. A loud, humming noise, like a thousand angry bees, echoed from behind the trees and shrubbery that surrounded the picnic, getting louder and louder as, behind it all, they could hear the crunch of dirt and grass under heavy footsteps.

"What in Heaven's name is that?" Cyril cried out. As if in answer to his question, the branch of a tree snapped off rather suddenly, spinning across the grass and splitting in half, as the silver arm that had sliced it caught the last rays of the sunlight. Tessa's mouth fell open in a silent cry, and Gideon swore loudly over the noise. For there, now standing in the clearing and making it's way towards them, was an automaton.

There was a moment of absolute stillness. Then, everything seemed to happen at once.

"Cyril- get the women out of here! Drive back to the Institute! Come back for us when you have done!" Henry shouted. "Gideon, Jem, with me!" Suddenly, a seraph blade was gleaming in his hand. "Talvek." He brought the blade to life and held it up towards the advancing metal man. "Lottie, go!"

Cyril was on his feet, attempting to usher Sophie, Tessa, Cecily and Charlotte away. Not one of them were willingly moving with him. Suddenly, everything around Tessa appeared hazy, as though the characteristic London fog was permanently glued behind her own two eyes. She shook her head, desperate to keep a clear head.

"C'mon, ladies, we must go, Mr Branwell's orders," Cyril was pleading with them. He took Cecily's arm and tried to drag her away, but she snatched it back, quick as anything.

"I am a Shadowhunter," she said coldly. "A Herondale. I'm staying here."

"As am I," Charlotte said, marching towards Henry purposefully, two daggers already twirling in her hands. "There is not a fight yet that we have not fought together, Henry," she hissed. With that, Charlotte launched an attack, her blades colliding with the Automatons' non-existent flesh with ear-splitting clashes. Henry cried out and went to assist her.

"Cecily," Cyril was saying, attempting to drag the youngest of them all back towards the carriage. The girl didn't listen. Racing towards the open bag of weapons that lay beside the picnic basket, Cecily whipped out two seraph blades, muttering their names as she set them both alight. Jem, who was helping in the attack, looked around at her, blinking hard.

"Cecily, go back to the Institute!" he yelled. "You can't fight them. Your brother-"

There was a crash, and a nearby shrub seemed to tear in half before their very eyes. Cecily grinned savagely. A second automaton had joined the first.

"Don't you dare," she said, to Jem, and to everyone else, "tell me what I can't do."

With a wild roar, she was gone, sprinting towards the automaton and swinging her blades towards it. Jem swore under his breath and glanced over at Tessa. She was unmoving, watching as though anticipating some way that she could help. She had been training, after all. As if he could read her mind, Jem shook his head.

"Go, Tessa," he called. "I'll see you when I return. We can handle the two of them, never fear."

She looked at him hard for a moment. In that time, although Charlotte and Henry whirled and crashed and Cecily swung her seraph blades, everything seemed to just freeze. And then,

"Mizpah." She spoke quietly, but Jem would have heard her even if she'd whispered. He grinned at her, whole face alight and alive.

"Mizpah," he replied, and, despite everything that was happening around them, despite the company they were in, he bent his head towards hers and brushed their lips together, a whisper of a kiss, but enough to send shivers down Tessa's arms. He lingered, embracing her, for the briefest of moments before he bounded off to help Cecily, arriving just in time to clash his cane against the automatons' arm before it came down on her, leaving Tessa blushing scarlet with embarrassment and ridiculous, out of place joy.

In the end, it was only those four who stayed. Jem had convinced Tessa to leave with Cyril, but Sophie was not so content in leaving the fight to the others.

"What if more arrive?" she had demanded desperately. "I may be needed. I have been training."

Cyril gave her a pitying look. "Aye, I know that you have, Miss Sophie. I have been training too. But orders are orders. Come now, let's get you and Miss Gray safely home. I'll return and make sure nothing happens to them. They can care for themselves, Miss. They are Nephlim." And you are not. He didn't say the words, but she could hear them, and she sagged down at the thought, deflated. Sophie had resigned to leave, turning to the carriage, when she almost walked into Gideon, who had come around to where she was standing, holding his arm out for her to take.

"You're not staying, Master Gideon?" she'd asked. Gideon's eyes dulled at the title, but his answer was quick and punctual.

"It occurred to me that while there are only two automatons here, there may well be more at the Institute. It must be well defended."

"Master Will is there."

"One underage Shadowhunter," Gideon said smoothly. "Sophie, are you going to allow me to help you into the carriage, or not?"

She tilted her head towards Charlotte, uncertain. The woman was sweating from the fight, a small jagged line of blood running the length of her arm, but aside from that, she was unharmed.

"Very well," she said, taking Gideon's hand and ignoring the spark of adrenaline that seemed to wake up her entire body at his touch. Cyril, relieved to see them coming, jumped into the drivers seat, harnessing the reigns of Xanthos and Helios.

"Gideon! Sophie! Look out!" It was Henry, shouting from the ground where he had been quite obviously disarmed. It seemed that Cyril wasn't the only one who'd noticed that they were about to leave. Tessa, from inside the carriage, gave out a cry. The automaton that Henry and Charlotte had both been fighting had shaken them off, and was headed straight for them with alarming speed.

"Sophie! Sophie, get in the carriage!" Tessa called, hurrying to the door and holding out her arms for Sophie to grab hold of. The maid gave a wild shriek and began to run. The automaton was close behind her, snipping what seemed to be giant scissors on the end of it's metal arms. Henry, meanwhile, was standing torn between going to Charlotte, who had been thrown to the grown, and distracting the automaton. Sophie's heartbeat increased rapidly as she felt metal slice through her shirt sleeve; it was getting closer. She breathed heavily, almost at the carriage. An audible sigh of relief left her mouth as Tessa's small hands grabbed hers, warm and surprisingly strong. And then came a scream. The automaton had reached her, its arms coming around her middle, crushing her-

And then Gideon was there, eyes blazing along with his blades as he wrenched the creature away from the girl, attacking it with such ferocity that even the thing made out of metal appeared to quiver in fear of him, backing away, right to where Henry and Charlotte now stood, bloody and armed.

"Don't touch her," Gideon snarled. Sophie, now half inside the carriage, paused where she was, staring at him. As soon as the creature was a safer distance away, Gideon hurried to her side, ushering her inside none too gently, and leaping in easily after her, slamming the door behind him.

"Away, Cyril! Ride as if hell itself were chasing you," he ordered, that fire of rage still burning in his eyes. Sophie and Tessa were both looking at him now, wide-eyed.

Cyril did not reply, but the thundering sound of hooves on gravel was enough for Gideon. He breathed a sigh of relief, yet the tension never left his shoulders. For the remainder of the trip, the Shadowhunter kept one hand poised on the shining blade at his waist, oblivious to the stares of the Downworlder and the human.

Nobody met them at the door when they arrived at the Institute. Cyril did not stop to help them out, either. He waited barely long enough for Gideon, Sophie, and Tessa to file out of the carriage before taking off again, straight away, to help the others in their fight. Tessa looked up at the magnificent building as Gideon placed his hand on the mammoth, wooden door, allowing them entrance. Apprehension and fear chased each other around in her heart as they stepped inside. She was half expecting to find the place ransacked, an army of automatons awaiting them all. Instead, they were met by the usual cold and tidy beauty of the Institute, each painting perfectly in place. Nobody had spoken on the way there, save for Gideon giving Cyril instructions. Now, he looked at the two women beside him, scanning them for injuries. Hastily, he looked over Tessa, satisfied that, apart from being worried for her fiance and the others, the girl was completely fine. His attention then belonged only to Sophie. There was a tear up the side of her arm, the material of her dress ripped, and blood was soaking out of a shallow cut there. It was not a large wound, but even so, it made Gideon furious to see it. She was probably also bruised where the automaton had grabbed her around the bodice- although Gideon could not see it. In fear of anybody noticing the blood rushing to his cheeks, he cleared his throat.

"You are injured. Come with me to the infirmary, I will bind that cut for you."

Sophie looked at herself, seeming surprised when she noted the scarlet liquid that caked her arm. "Oh, that's alright, Sir, I can do it myse-"

"Come." He spoke firmly, leaving no room for discussion. Tessa gave her friend an encouraging smile.

"Go on, Sophie. Get that cut cleaned up. I will be…I will be around." In truth, Tessa didn't know what she was going to do. Right now, she was only concerned for the others, and irritated with herself for not being as brave or as talented with the sword as Cecily or Charlotte. Sophie looked as if she might have wanted to stay with her for the moment, and Tessa couldn't say that she wouldn't have been relieved if she did, just to have somebody to talk to. But Gideon had taken her comment to his advantage, and Sophie was already at his arm, headed to the infirmary.

Tessa waited until she could no longer see the two of them before she leaned back against the wall, bringing her hands over her eyes, shading them. It was no good. Even if literally all that was in front of her was darkness, the silver of the automatons, and Jem's kiss goodbye, were all that her mind could see. As she stood, heart plummeting in her chest as she ached to know how the others fared, she was struck with the crucial urge to do something- anything that would help them, anything at all. No, she could not fight, not this time, but that did not mean she couldn't assist them in some other way. Her mind set, Tessa made her way to the library, her footsteps echoing in the empty corridors as she turned around corners and past doors that had once confused her, but now, paved her way. Reaching the oak doors that were almost as grand as the doors to the Institute itself, Tessa pushed against the wood and stalked into the great haven of books. Normally, she would come here only for enjoyment and familiarity. Now, she headed straight for the non-fictional section, all great old books with Shadowhunter titles, some in foreign languages, and some in English. Collectively, the inhabitants of the Institute had searched nearly everywhere for any information about Mortmain and his project, but they had not searched this particular section of their own library. Here were all the old books, twice as ancient as their tattered covers gave away. They had not thought to search them because of this; their age. Yet, what if this was not the first time somebody had tried to create automatons? What if-? Tessa broke her pacing as the words: "A History Of Demons, Demonic Presence, Summoning, and Possession" leapt out at her like a huge flashing sign, or a glamour revealed. Perhaps this might contain something of the possession that Mortmain intended to execute; giving his automaton armies independent thought and action by pouring demonic energies into their very mechanics. Covering the distance between herself and the shelf that the thick, faded red book in a single step, Tessa gathered the book in her hands and began to flick the pages over and over, scanning each page for words that might catch her eye. There were detailed accounts of demons, their origins, and different kinds of demons. She was yet to find the pages that would cover possession…

She froze. She could not be sure how she knew it for certain, but behind the fluttering pages of her book, she thought she heard the soft pad of footsteps behind her. Probably just Gideon and Sophie, she told herself, and yet that didn't stop her chest from tightening. Completely against her will, Gideon's words from earlier arose in her mind. It occurred to her that while there are only two automatons here, there may well be more at the Institute. She breathed heavily, not wanting to turn around and face whatever might be there, but knowing that if she didn't, she would be far worse off. That was when yet another wave of dizziness swept over her, making the book in her hands so blurry she could not read the fine print at all. Letting out a small gasp, Tessa stumbled backwards, back against the shelf, and holding the book out in front of her chest as though it were a shield, eyes squinting to see through this strange fuzz.

She almost laughed when her vision cleared enough for her to make out not metalic silver, but black and blue.

"Will."


	7. Chapter 6 What We Can't Have

**This Chapter is probably the most intense I've written so far from start to finish :) . Hope you likies! Please please please review! Oh, and thanks for the tip about the names mix-up last chapter :P I can't believe I didn't notice! I've fixed it up now :). **

"Will you _stop_ going on about Will?" Cecily shouted over the noise of the clicking to Jem. As she spoke, she ducked under a swinging arm of silver, hacking savagely at the wrist from beneath. It remained intact.

"He's going to kill me, you realize?" Jem called to her from the other side of the automaton, slicing nimbly at its back while it's attention was on Cecily. "He's going to kill all of us for allowing you to be here. This isn't-" he leapt backwards just in time to dodge a whirling fist of blades. "Safe!"

"I hadn't noticed." Her tone was thick with sarcasm as she tore the automaton away from Jem. She wasn't bleeding yet, probably because Jem kept getting between herself and the automaton. He himself had an impressive gash at the hip, a stain of blood spreading through his dark shirt. Using the spare time to his advantage, Jem gained firmer footing, twirling his staff between two fingers. He rolled his eyes at Cecily before glancing at Charlotte and Henry. The two of them seemed to be struggling ever so slightly against the automaton. At one point Cecily had needed to race over to save Charlotte from impalement when both she and Henry had been knocked to the ground. They seemed to be faring better now, both of them standing on either side of the automaton, making strategic sweeps with their weapons.

"Let me handle it alone this time," Cecily said; not a request, but a warning. She held two blades, one blazing blue, the other, red. Her grin was dangerous. Jem saw what she was about to do, but before he could move to stop her, she had already begun to charge, crying out wildly as she brought both blades down at once, aiming to slice through it's metal head. As she did, it's arms, coated with blades, moved to slice her in the middle. Before it could, her blue blade was there, blocking the attack and then, with a tough chop, lopping off the entire hand. Jem watched as she laughed in victory, kicking the hand out of the way.

"Nicely done," Jem said. "But I'll take it from here." He advanced forwards, brandishing his staff. Cecily nudged him in the ribs, not roughly at all.

"We'll see about that, shall we?"

Jem looked at her for a moment with a puzzled look on his face. Then, his face split into a smile that reached his eyes.

"And so we shall."

Sophie tensed as the stinging liquid seemed to burn her arm, but she did not wince. She knew that it was intended to rid her body of whatever poisons the automaton may have put there, when it sliced a long, shallow cut in her shoulder. It would not scar- not badly, anyway. Nothing like the cut over her face. Not for the first time, even in that day alone, Sophie dreamed of what it would be like to be a Shadowhunter. She could inflict scars worse even than the one she herself suffered. She could defend herself against any who wished her harm. She could be a part of the fight against demons and darkness, protecting Mundanes, and the other women who were helpless against bad men. And she could rid herself of her own injuries with the mere picture of a healing rune. She could be beautiful again, beautiful, and strong. But there was no good thinking of such things, for they were too far from reality to do her any good dreaming about.

"You're being very brave," Gideon noted as he pressed a wet cloth against her bare skin. "This stuff is not known for its gentleness. I have heard that it stings quite a bit."

"I have had worse, Master Gideon," Sophie said tunelessly. Gideon was silent for a moment, and Sophie knew he was thinking of the scar on her face. She tensed her jaw, waiting for him to ask about it, but Gideon did not ask. Instead, he put the cloth down, and fetched a strip of fabric to serve as a bandage.

"What are you thinking, Sophie?" He wound it around her arm, pulling it tight. "Won't you tell me?"

Sophie was still for a moment, unexplainably thrilled by the question.

"I was only thinking," she said quietly, "of how lucky you all are. To be Nephlim."

Gideon looked at her, green eyes capturing hers with their innocent curiosity.

"Would you like to be a Shadowhunter, Sophie?"

"More than anything." As soon as she had answered, she regretted it. Why did you do that? She scolded herself. She had never said such things to Charlotte. Such hopeful, things. Honest things. The truth of who she was and all that she desired. It was folly for her to confide in Gideon Lightwood, of all people. Still, the damage was done.

"Well," Gideon said, tying the bandage off gently, "I think you would make a wonderful Shadowhunter." Sophie bit down on her lip, looking away from him. She was not sure if he was patronizing her not. She was not sure she wanted to know if he was, either. "You have a Shadowhunters natural instincts, and you pick up on the techniques and steps almost as fast as one. Within time, Sophie, you will be able to fight with us all."

"Why was everybody so insistent that I leave, then?" Sophie found herself saying bitterly. "Cyril was allowed to return, and Cecily-"

"Is a Herondale," Gideon said firmly. "A short-tempered, stubborn Herondale. It would be a waste of time to convince her to return with us. Your abilities are much the same. As for Cyril…he has served my family for a long time. He has been trained with us since he was a boy. And you, Sophie, have had only a short time of training, no matter how much you have advanced since. Besides," he cleared his throat as his voice cracked. "You are much more precious."

Sophie caught her breath, but: "I'm not weak," was all she said.

"No," Gideon agreed. "You most certainly are not." He looked at her for a long moment before his hand reached to brush her cheek. Sophie knew that she could have- and indeed should have- turned away. Instead, she let the warmth from the tips of his fingers heat her skin, closing her eyes with a sigh.

"Who are you, Sophie Collins?" he whispered, bringing his forehead down to touch hers. "Who are you?"

Will had been half-turned back towards the door when Tessa had noticed him. He had wanted to leave quietly, so that she never knew he had been there. He had been leaving quietly, too. Somehow, Tessa still found him. He had been sitting in the darkest corner of the library, reading the Inferno in the quiet. He had expected the others to be gone for a long while still, and yet he'd heard Tessa's unusually brisk footsteps as she'd hastened into the library, abandoning her usual browsing shelves in favour of the ones that he himself had only ever read for studying. For a moment, he had watched her, wondering after the frown on her head or the restless nature of her movements. Perhaps he should not have delayed. Now, she was looking right at him, her eyes narrowed as though she was not entirely sure that it was him, a book about demons tight in her grip. The way her eyes were fixed on him like that, like she was almost relieved to see him, caused his heart to flutter uselessly in his chest, blood singing in his veins.

"Hello," he croaked, once he had realized that she expected him to say something. He coughed. "I mean, Tessa. I did not expect to encounter you here." It was the first time that the two of them had really since the night he had claimed his love for her. The first time they had been alone together, anyway. Will wasn't sure how he was supposed to be behaving, how to handle the pain that twisted inside him, but he was quite sure that he was doing a rotten job.

"It's the library, Will," she said, lifting an eyebrow. "I love books. You know that."

He almost didn't hear her. He was caught up over the way she had said 'love'. She loved books. She loved the sunshine. She loved her Aunt. She loved Jem. She even loved her bastard of a brother, Nathaniel. She could never love Will.

"I meant," he said after a moment's pause, "that I didn't expect to encounter you here, in this section. Charles Dicken's novels are over there," he gestured.

"I know that," Tessa said. "I am trying to find something here about the automatons, and demonic possession. I thought perhaps it might be ancient texts. I know that all this technology is fairly recent, but we know that Mortmain is carrying out a plan that began long before he was born. What if it all started a long time ago? That is what I thought, anyway. I have found nothing so far." She was speaking far too quickly, her eyes fixed on the book as she spoke. Will wondered if he looked as bitter and terrible as he left- if that was the reason that she avoided his gaze.

"It is a good theory," he said stiltedly. Tessa inclined her head. There was a moment then in which neither of them spoke, both averting their eyes. The silence was becoming quickly embarrassing. Will racked his brain for a way to break it. "How was the picnic, then? I do hope you took enough food to cater for Lightwood. The man may be on our side, but he still eats like the Devil."

He had thought that the picnic would be a safe thing to talk about, something light-hearted. He had been wrong. Tessa flinched at mention of it, biting her lip.

"We did. Had he been able to eat it," she mumbled. That caught Will's attention.

"What? What happened? Did the man eat too much and explode? I would not be surprised, with that gut of his." He tried for humour, but the look of fear in her eyes was enough to set his guard on.

"We were attacked," she almost whispered. "Two automatons. They're still there, fighting them. Only Gideon, Sophie and I returned. Cyril has gone back to help the others."

It took Will half a beat to understand. And then a sense of worry so strong it enveloped his entire being came over him, and he scowled, dropping the book he held to the floor as he clenched his fists.

"Cecily," he growled. "You left Cecily. Why? She's fifteen, for God's sake! She's just a child! What the hell is my sister doing, fighting automatons?"

"We tried to get her to leave," Tessa said, speaking gently. She looked startled, and he couldn't blame her for it. He couldn't imagine how he looked now. Bitter and terrible and mad with worry. "She wouldn't listen to any of us."

Will's hands shook. "If something happens to her-"

"She'll be alright, Will," Tessa said. "Jem is with her- he'll protect her."

Jem. His parabatai. Her husband-to-be. Will flinched, but unclenched his fists, running his hands through his hair instead.

"I see," he said. "James will take care of her. I need not worry, I suppose. I should be off, then, to meet them at the gate when they arrive. Enjoy your research, Tessa. I hope your search brings you many demony-" he spun on his heal, marching for the door. He did not expect to hear her voice, calling him back.

"Will," she said. "Will, wait a moment."

Half-dreading, half-hoping after what she had to say, Will did as she asked.

"On three!" Jem bellowed over the rain pouring overhead. The sun from earlier had now vanished behind a thick curtain of grey, and buckets of sweet scented water fell from the skies, making the grass slippery and the people cold and shivering. Cecily nodded just as Jem lowered into a crouch. "One-Two-" the automaton let out a searing screech just as he reached three, and the two sprang into action. Jem, tossing his dragon-headed staff over the automaton, dived for the automatons' middle, wrestling it to the ground even as Cecily caught the staff with a single hand mid-air. When she hit ground again, one leg was on either side of the automatons' legs, sticking out from underneath it, and pinned down. Those were it's last remaining limbs- Cecily had carved off one arm, while Jem and wrenched the other off with his bare hands.

"Boo," Cecily hissed, the smile never leaving her face. "Any last words, Sir?" the staff was raised, blade pointed at the automatons' chest, as she waited for any response, just taunting it.

"As you slay others, so shall you be slain," the automaton rasped. The rain probably was not helping it function, but the Shadowhunters could have cared less.

"We've heard that before," Jem said from where he sat behind it, still tackling it from behind so it could not move.

"Anything new, or will we cut you off right there, then?" Cecily said, studying its face. The automaton's features were disturbingly inhuman, yet still, you could make out a clear mouth, nose, and two eyes, all made from pieces of curved and straight clockwork. Its mouth did not move as more words began to spill from inside it.

"The Magister will have the Shape-Changer," it recited. "he will have her, his last weapon, and when he marries her, you will all die."

Jem made a sound like a furious animal at mention of Tessa.

"Strike now, Cecily, and aim for the heart. This thing is worse than useless," he spat. Sure enough, with a last look of disgust, Cecily stabbed down at the automaton, wincing as the metal fell apart and she could see the wired and mutilated heart that the blade sunk into. The scissoring, screeching noise faded into nothingness, leaving them in silence save for their own panting breathing and that distinct sound of rain falling.

"Well done," Jem managed once he'd stood up, throwing the torn up automaton away from him as though it were toxic. Cecily shot him a smile- not the one she had bore when she was fighting, but a real, genuine smile, just like the one that Will would rarely show. The rain had wet her face, droplets of water running over her lips as she spoke.

"Thank-you," she said. "I hope I didn't get in the way too much. I just…I really wanted to be a part of it all, you know- feel first hand what I was missing."

"You didn't get in the way at all," Jem said. "In fact, that was most impressive, the way you handled those blows. You Herondales must all bear the same natural talent."

"You were a good teacher," she replied. "Good to fight with, I mean. Much kinder than Will."

Jem chuckled at that. "Will is Will, you know how it is."

"Would you teach me?" Cecily asked abruptly, catching Jem by surprise. Rain ran down his face for a moment before he replied.

"I thought that Will was teaching you," he said. "And in any case, I don't think I am qualified enough, or-"

"Just a few times then," Cecily went on. "Tomorrow, or the day after? You fight well, James. I would greatly appreciate the help."

"Will fights well." Jem hesitated for a moment. One more look at Cecily settled it for them; he could not say no to someone who looked so strikingly like his blood brother. "Very well. I would be delighted to help you train."

"Tomorrow or the day after," she reminded him, a wide smile coming over her face. "Thank-you, Jem."

Jem bowed her head in appreciation, and then stopped when he noticed that Cecily was staring at him, taking note of the several gashes that ran over his body, the mud on his soaking clothes. "Tessa's going to kill me."

"I highly doubt that Tessa would do such a thing," Jem said with a smile, "but what gives you that idea?"

"Look at yourself, Carstairs," Cecily scowled. "You're all cut up."

"Give me no more than two iratzes, and I no longer will be. Besides, my injuries were not inflicted by you, or because of you."

"You really care about her, don't you?" Cecily said, surprising herself. She had meant to go on being annoyed with Jem. Instead, she found herself saying, "you look different, every time somebody mentions her name. When the Automaton did, you looked like you meant to kill a hundred of them at once. And when I did, you looked like you could not smile enough." "I love her," Jem said simply. "Is that not what love is?"

"Is it?" Cecily said. "I do not really know."

"One day, you will," Jem said, resisting the urge to ruffle her hair fondly. "I am sure of it."

Cecily opened her mouth to reply, but were interrupted by a victorious yell. She turned around in time to see Cyril and Henry twist the head of their automaton right off, plonking it into the dirt. Charlotte stood beside them, wiping mud from her face and grinning in satisfaction. Jem and Cecily should have been helping them, as soon as they had finished dealing with their own. Somehow, the conversation that they'd had instead seemed like a far better way to spend a few minutes.

"Are there any more?" Charlotte inquired as the two groups came together.

"None that I could make out," Jem replied. "I suggest we return to the Institute now. The others will want news, no doubt."

"Of course," Henry said. "I wouldn't have my Lottie out in the rain for much longer, I wouldn't. Cyril, if you will?"

The burly man was already making his way to the carriage, fingers groping for the slippery handle in the rain. Henry put his arm around Charlotte as she shivered, and Jem held out his arm to Will's sister, as they all made to follow him.

"I only wanted to ask…" Tessa trailed off as she noticed how alarmingly tense Will was, standing so still that if she stepped back, she might have believed that he was a statue in the middle of the room. "What?" he asked her, still facing away from her, his expression unknown to her. Swallowing passed the hard lump in her throat, Tessa said:

"We are still friends…are we not?" Will did not turn around, nor move at all, and Tessa's heart raced and ached as she longed to know what he was thinking- what he thought of her. "I do hope that we can be friends, Will."

"Tessa-" he said in a tight tone, finally turning to face her. His very features looked strained, his eyes very wide and very, very blue. "why would you want to still be friends with me?"

She ignored his question, as she did his broken tone.

"I read Vathek," she told him, suddenly breathless, although it was the ones that had stayed at Hyde Park who would have cause for breathlessness, not she.

"Really?" he asked in a tone that was half-distant.

"I loved it," she said softly. "Slightly more demonic and involved in hell than any novel I usually would have read, yet captivating all the same. I suppose you came to read it because you grew up as a Shadowhunter. Or perhaps Welshmen merely have a more supernatural preference in stories, I cannot be sure. Most likely it is just your own, strange taste in novels."

"Strange," Will snorted. "If it was so strange, why do you say you enjoyed it?"

"I like strange things," Tessa said equably. "They're unique. And interesting. Have you another strange recommendation for me?"

Will grinned for a moment before shaking his head. "None that I would not be sure you have read already."

"You must have at least one," Tessa inquired, more to keep the conversation alive than for any other reason. "You had a book in your hand," she went on, noting the book that Will had dropped to the floor just moments ago. "what were you reading?"

Will stooped to pick it up in one, graceful motion. Everything he did was graceful, Tessa thought with a twinge of jealousy, and also of something else. Something slightly more forbidden.

"Dante," he said, showing her the cover. "The Inferno. I told you you'd have read it."

"So I have," she acknowledged. "Very well then, I suppose I could always recommend you something."

Will walked towards her, leaning against the shelf opposite the one she herself leant on, crossing his arms.

"I suppose you could," he said, a smile at his lips. "let's hear it then. What mad tale should I read next? I'll bet you I have read it already." The challenge of his words was reflected in his gleaming eyes.

"If that is how you wish to play it," Tessa said, the corner of her own mouth turning up, "then I recommend the works of Miss Jane Austin." She crossed her own arms in triumph. There was no way, she thought, that Will would be familiar with that. Will, however, did not change his expression.

"Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, Emma… which novels specifically are we discussing here?" he inquired. Tessa's mouth fell open in shock.

"You've read Sense and Sensibility?" she said incredulously. "You?"

"Me," Will confirmed, the smile on his face getting ever wider. "It's a good book, as books come."

"You haven't." Tessa refused to believe him. "I don't believe you."

"Your lack of faith wounds me," Will said dryly.

"Alright, then, how about Pride and Prejudice?"

"Read it. Multiple times, I might add," Will said with a smirk of satisfaction.

"Prove it," Tessa said, still not trusting him one bit. "I'd wager you do not even know what it is about."

"Pride and Prejudice," Will drawled with great dignity, "is the story of a girl called Elizabeth Bennet, the second oldest in a family of many daughters, all being ushered to be married to gentlemen at first opportunity, and they are all eager to- with the exception, of course, of Elizabeth Bennet. Her older sister is married, and in time, so is one of her younger sisters, Lydia, to a man by the name of Mr Wickham. In time, a man named Mr Collins proposes to Elizabeth, but only as his second choice. She declines his proposal, making her mother furious. And, of course, all the while, there is the figure of Mr Darcy: a wealthy and mysterious man who, it seems, despises the girl, and who in turn, the girl despises. Given this, naturally, it is a shock to her when Mr Darcy declares his undying love for her and proposes. She refuses him, rather rudely might I add, but he sends her a letter that serves to explain his behaviour, to reveal the truth of who he is. Against all odds, Elizabeth forgives him, and finds that she loves the man that he has shown himself to truly be. The two are happily married- and thus is where our story ends. Satisfied?"

Tessa had been listening to all this trying to keep her mouth from falling open again. She honestly had not believed that Will would have read any one of those books.

"And you enjoyed it?" she asked. "You liked Pride and Prejudice?"

"I did," he said. "Liked. Not anymore."

"What has changed? I mean, the story remains the same- how can you have enjoyed it once, yet not any longer?"

Will looked at her for a long time before he answered, keeping his eyes determinedly on hers the whole time.

"Because," he spoke evenly, but his hands seemed to tremble, "it gives false hope to men like him. Men like Elizabeth's Mr Darcy. It leads one to believe that despite how terrible one might behave, despite how dark and rude, that one might still stand a chance to win the heart of a girl as lovely as Elizabeth, against the affections of other, more fitting suitors. Reality is most different."

Tessa could barely breathe. Everything was going blurry again, her vision clouding, and yet the image of Will, head hanging, body slumped low against the book shelves, eyes sad and wide, was sharp and real, even when she closed her eyes. She wanted to do something to change his mind- to make him like that book again, to see the magic in it once more. She wanted to do something to make him smile a real smile, the smile she had last seen just moments before he had pulled her into the drawing room, and they had both found out the truth. Well, not the whole truth. Tessa breathed heavily as she looked at Will, and found that it was beyond the point of a want, but a need. She needed to give Will _something_.

"Even the Mr Darcy's of the world deserve their chance," she said gently, and when Will looked up at her in surprise, she held his gaze, the grey eyes melding with the blue.

"Tess," he said, voice thick with longing, and also a grief so cutting that it tore at Tessa's own chest. Her legs began to move of their own accord, and she found herself carried towards him. Two steps, and she was standing close enough to touch him, cornering him against the book shelf.

"Will," she whispered, reaching up to brush dark hair from his eyes. _Be happy,_ she wanted to beg him._ Please Will, just smile at me, like you did once before. _Everything around her was buzzing now, and she could see nothing outside of the boy in front of her. That was alright, though. She did not want to see anything else. She saw the raw surprise and the tenderness in his eyes when he looked at her, the way his lips looked as soft as she remembered them to be, the air from his mouth warming her skin. A hopeless desire flooded through her. She _would_ make him smile again. Barely daring to breathe, Tessa leaned forward, linking her arms around his shoulders, and brushed her lips to his. Will let out something like a sigh as he responded to her touch, bringing his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him even as she kept kissing him, always lightly, always gently, yet enough to send shivers dancing through both their bones, each kiss saying, Tessa prayed, what she dared not say. _I love you. I can't love you, but I still do. I'm sorry. _Every time they kissed, it was like fire. This kiss was more akin to the single flame of a candle- alone and fragile, yet surrounded by a beautiful, comforting glow. Tessa did not know how long they stayed that way, kissing between the shelves of the library. All that she did know was the loud slam of the heavy Institute doors closing, and the grating of the carriage being driven to the stables. They were back.

Jem. Tessa did not think she had ever moved faster in her life than she did to pull away from Will at that thought, guilt and horror running through her veins, quickly destroying any hint of the happiness that she had felt just seconds before. The blurriness that had surrounded her before, clouding her vision and her judgment, was gone. Now, she could see everything clearly as she backed away from Will, moving out of the isle of books and towards the door, not knowing what to tell him, let alone to tell Jem- to tell herself. _What have I done? _If she did not already completely regret her actions, she did so when she saw the look on Will's face. He hadn't heard them coming, she could tell, and he was staring at her as though she had torn his own skin off, stabbed him in the back with a rusted blade. So much for making him happy, she thought with a half sob.

"Tess," he said in a cracked voice. "Tess-" he stepped forward, reaching out to her. But she could not step into those arms again.

"This did not happen," she said in a cutting voice. "Do you understand that? Nothing happened." Her words seemed to strike him, each one coming down like a whip over his body. Numbly, his arms fell to his sides, bottom lip quivering ever so slightly. Seeing him like that broke Tessa's heart all over again.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. She wanted to say more- goodness, she wanted to take all that she had said back, to kiss him again. But then, she also wanted nothing more than to run into Jem's arms, to make sure he was alright. To forget all about Will completely, as she had, for those blissful hours, at the picnic with Jem. When Will said nothing in response, Tessa turned around, grasping the doorknob and turning it. She felt his eyes on her as she stepped out into the corridor, but she did not look back.

**...and that was the Will x Tessa moment. Ah...poor Will :'(. What did you think? Revieew! :) **


	8. Chapter 7 Redemption

**Hi guys :) Wow, thanks so much for all the reviews! Jem-and-Will, you should totally get a fanfic account so i can thank you for your reviews or answer questions xD. This chapter's kinda dull compared to the last one- mainly 'Tessa-feels-guilty-for-kissing-Will-so-she-avoids-him-and-is-super-nice-to-Jem'. Sorry :P. Please still follow and review though! Next chapter will be better :)**

Gideon and Sophie did not break out of their embrace when they heard the door close, nor even when they heard voices from down the hall. Not straight away. Instead, they stayed where they were, Sophie's head fitting perfectly against Gideon's chest, her hands pressed into his back, his hands at hers, head buried in her hair. It was only when they heard footsteps headed to the infirmary that they finally broke apart, somewhat reluctantly. They did so just in time. Not a beat afterwards they were joined by Charlotte, Henry, and Jem, all bearing more than one nasty cut, but all wearing tired smiles of victory.

"Gideon, Sophie," Jem said politely. He noted the bandage around Sophie's arm, eyes widening. "Oh dear. What happened? Were you attacked on the road? Is Tessa-"

"Tessa is fine," Gideon assured him. "An automaton got a hold of Sophie before she boarded the carriage."

"I didn't see," Jem admitted. "Are you alright, Sophie?"

"Fine," she mumbled. She did not love Jem in the way that used to, and yet still, it did her no favours for him to see her bare skin bandaged and bloodied.

"I'm sorry, Sophie," Charlotte fretted. "I should have stopped it." Guilt coloured her voice.

"Oh, Miss!" Sophie protested immediately. "It was no fault of yours, only my own. Indeed, if I had left when I was told to…"

But Sophie did not get to finish, for Charlotte had hurried over to her side and captured her in a surprisingly strong embrace.

"I am glad that you are alright," Charlotte said softly. She released Sophie, smiling a little sheepishly. "Perhaps Henry was right, and my pregnancy is already beginning to take a toll on my fighting. I would have defeated that automaton much sooner, if you had caught me three months ago. I had best have this child before Mortmain makes his next move."

"You were wonderful, darling," Henry said, approaching her with his stele at the ready. "Now do hold still, you know how I'm not very good at drawing iratzes."

"You were not half bad yourself, dear," Charlotte replied, holding very still in obedience. The hot tip of Henry's stele began to trace a healing rune beside the cut that ran across her forearm. The heat might have hurt her once, but Charlotte was used to the sting, and did not wince.

"Does anybody know where Tessa is?" Jem asked, his voice struggling to hide his enthusiasm. Charlotte hid a smile as she looked Jem up and down, shaking her head.

"You are not planning to approach her like that, are you? You're soaked, and covered in grazes! You will give the poor girl a heart attack."

Jem appraised himself for a moment, grinning in agreement. "Oh. I'd forgotten." He fumbled in his belt for an iratze, but Gideon had already stepped forward with his.

"Let me," he said. Jem looked at Gideon. He had once thought that he looked much like his brother. Now that he knew the man better, he could no longer tell the resemblance at all.

"Thank-you." He slipped his ruined shirt away, allowing Gideon a clear drawing path. Gideon wielded his stele expertly, pausing to grin knowingly at Jem before he began.

"Don't worry. I will be fast."

True to his word, within five minutes, although the blood from them still stained his clothing, Jem's wounds had all faded into faint scars, the pain that they had brought him completely erased. Thanking Gideon, he rose to his feet, mind already searching the Institute for Tessa.

"You might want to bathe first," Henry called over to him. "You're still rather filthy, you know. Women like it when men are clean. Isn't that right, Lottie?"

Charlotte laughed, shaking her head at him in amusement. Impatience came over Jem, but he knew that they were right. In fact, sniffing the air lightly, he found that he smelled rather horrid, too. He had only taken a single step more, however, when a head of brunette, loose hair came from behind the door, and Tessa began to make her way towards him, a huge smile breaking across her face.

"Jem!" She caught him up in a tight embrace, not letting go despite what Henry had said about women liking cleanliness in a man. Jem laughed, holding her away from him lightly so that she would not be completely covered in the blood that coated him. She seemed to notice it too, now.

"Oh, god, what happened?" Her fingers flew over his arms uselessly, searching for the wounds that Gideon had already taken away. "Does it hurt terribly?"

"It's alright, Tess. Shadowhunter, remember?" he said. "My wounds are vanished now- the healing runes work quickly. Fortunately for me." He smiled at her. "Unfortunately for the both of us, they do not have a rune for removing blood stains and sweat from materials. That task falls to the kind souls who wash our clothes." He flashed an apologetic look at Sophie, who just shook her head at him, untroubled. As if finally realizing that there were other people in the room as well, Tessa took a step back from Jem, colour flooding to her cheeks.

"And how fared the rest of you? There weren't any more Automatons that emerged after the first two, were there?"

"No," Henry confirmed. "It was a rather tough fight- I suspect Mortmain is using stronger metal to forge his monsters- but when Cyril joined us, it was easily won in the end. Lottie and I took down the first one with his assistance. Jem and Cecily took the other."

"Cecily," Tessa said, remembering how worried Will had been about her. "Where is she? Was she hurt?"

"She's fine." A familiar voice spoke from the doorway and they all looked up to see Cecily herself, changed into a casual, dry dress, a characteristic smirk on her face. "Thank-you for your concern, but the automaton really was no match for her at all."

"So like a Herondale," Gideon, Jem and Charlotte said in almost humorous synchronization. They all laughed at that, even Cecily sparing a grin.

"She was, though," Jem said once they had all stopped laughing. "A good fighter, I mean. Fierce with the sword."

"Again, that reminds me of someone," Henry mused.

"Oh, _stop_ comparing me to Will, won't you?" Cecily said, her tone light, but her warning real. "I don't see the similarity. Honestly, I just came back from what was supposed to be me boasting about my achievements and him congratulating me for them. It ended up to be a monologue of him lecturing me about responsibility and safety! I would never be so up tight."

"He worries about you," Tessa said. "That is all."

"Well I wish he wouldn't," Cecily said grumpily. "I'm not a child."

"No," Jem said, eyes scanning over her face. "You're not." There was a short silence in which Cecily looked at Jem, and then Jem looked back at Tessa, a small smile once more rising to his face.

"I am glad you are all alright," Tessa broke the silence, looking over each bloody yet smiling face one at a time. "I cannot tell you how worried I was."

"Worried about me?" Jem said, grinning. He was so perfect. They were perfect together. Tessa thought of library, her mouth on Will's. They were so perfect. Why had she had to spoil it all?

"Always," she croaked, voice catching. The teasing demeanor left Jem's face, and, ignoring the crowd that surrounded them, pulled her to him and captured her mouth with his own. Tessa kissed him back hungrily, fiercely, as though she would drive away her guilt in the kiss, drown it in the tender feel of Jem's cool lips moving with her own. Nibbling at Jem's bottom lip, Tessa was in a world all of her own. She wasn't dizzy this time, that feeling had gone. It was as if kissing Jem had brought her into focus. No, not kissing him- his presence alone was enough to wake her up. His lips on hers? That in itself was a different kind of magic. She didn't know what it was, only that she wanted more of it. A giggle brought her back to the present, and she and Jem drew away from each other, although he kept his hands around hers the whole time, sending delicious sparks running through her bloodstream. Henry, Sophie, and Gideon were averting their eyes politely, Gideon appearing distinctly awkward for having witnessed such a tender moment between the couple. Charlotte was watching them with a smile on her face, remembering how she had wished, when they were engaged, that Henry would just pick her up and kiss her as Jem had just done to Tessa- although her husband was more than making up for lost time now. Cecily was watching from the doorway, eyebrows raised, smirk never leaving her face.

"If the two of you would like some privacy, we could all leave, you know," she said coolly.

Tessa was not the only one to flush at that. Jem put his head down, biting his lip as he smiled apologetically.

"Not at all," he said, although he highly doubted that Cecily had been serious. "We were just leaving. I must bathe and what not…"

"Must Tessa help you with that, too?" Cecily asked, feigning brightness. Jem went the colour of the blood on his sleeves.

"Cecily," Charlotte said. The girl shrugged, looking bemused.

"I was joking. Curious, is it not, how neither Jem nor Tessa spoke to deny it."

"We do deny it!" Tessa said defensively. "I thought that was implied."

Cecily grinned over at her. "I'm not going to judge, Tessa, never fear. Your secret is safe with me."

"Oh, stop it, Cecily, you're making the poor couple turn scarlet," Gideon scolded. He had been trying to help, Jem knew, but pointing out that both he and Tessa had gone tomato red was not helping to quash Cecily's claims. He cleared his throat, taking Tessa's arm.

"If you all don't mind, I am going to escort Tessa back to her room, now." He put as much emphasis as she could on the 'her'. Tessa was silent as he hurried her out of the infirmary and down the hall, and he himself was so flustered from their social embarrassment that he couldn't find the words to say to her. Just when their silence was becoming straining, Jem was relieved by the familiar brooding back of Will, walking out of the library just ahead of them.

"Will!" he called. His friend whirled around, distant eyes noting Jem and his companion.

"James," he said. "Back, I see." He indicated the blood on his shirt. "Do you need an iratze?"

"Gideon drew them already," Jem said. Will's hand fell back where he'd already started reaching for his stele.

"You'll get blood on her," he said, almost under his breath. Jem had to lean forward to hear him.

"What?"

"You're getting blood," Will rose his voice. "all over Tessa." Jem looked down at the girl he held to his side, and realized, sure enough, that her dress was spotted with his blood, his sleeve rubbing hers where he held her tight. He loosened his grip at once.

"Right you are, Will. My apologies, Tessa." She nodded her head. "I'm beginning to be glad that you agreed to be Best Man, Will. Your eye for details like that will be needed over the next days."

Will nodded, a lopsided, rather unpleasant smile on his face. "What would the two of you do without me?"

"Quite honestly, we've been doing without you quite frequently these past few days," Jem said, a frown at his face. "I suppose Cecily's told you all about what happened at the picnic?"

"The automatons. I've been informed," Will said colorlessly. "She stayed behind to fight."

"We tried to convince her to leave with the others," Jem said apologetically. "I fought by her side, Will. I wouldn't have allowed any harm to come to her."

"I know that." Will was looking past Jem into the hall, as though he couldn't leave the conversation swiftly enough. Apparently, he was not the only one. Jem turned to Tessa with a question on his lips; she was drawing away from him, hand weaving out of his. She gave him a small smile.

"I just remembered that I have an errand to run," she said. Jem stepped towards her, to kiss her good-bye, or simply to tell her, he wasn't yet sure, but she spoke again, far too quickly for him to get a word in at all. "I'll see you tomorrow. Good night, Jem." She did not even acknowledge Will as she turned on her heel and walked away, almost running down the corridor.

Jem stared after her for a moment, a mixture of admiration and exasperation in his eyes.

"She really is the strangest creature sometimes," he found himself saying fondly. "Wouldn't you agree, Will?" he frowned. "Will?" The space where his parabatai had been standing not seconds ago was now empty. He paused for just a moment before letting out a laugh. "then again, sometimes, so are you, my friend."

Charlotte had to stop herself from glaring at Tessa when Henry had torn himself away from her lips to open the door for her and invite her inside. It was not that she did not enjoy Tessa's company- just that every moment she shared with Henry now was like the very first time, like she was falling in love with him all over again, and this time, she knew that he loved her too. Anything that interrupted that was unwelcome to Charlotte.

"Tessa," Henry said, surprised. "I hadn't expected to see you here. Is something wrong?" He had stepped back into their chambers, Charlotte straightening herself up to sit on the edge of the king sized bed, ensuring that her dress was in order.

"Nothing is the matter," Tessa waved off his concern. "I had only wanted to talk to Charlotte. I have something of….importance to ask you." She was looking past Henry now, at the young woman sitting on the bed.

"Of course," Charlotte said. "What is it, Tessa?"

The girl drew a deep breath, moving to stand in front of Charlotte. Henry was still standing uncertainly by the door, posed with his hand on the wall beside him. Charlotte found herself feeling just as awkward as her husband looked when she noticed Tessa's eyes glued to the healing runes still working to heal one of her nastier injuries from the fight.

"When I first woke up and found myself here," Tessa said, still looking at Charlotte's scars with a look of deep guilt in her eyes, "you were the first person I spoke to. You told me time and time again that I would be safe here, that the Institute could feel like my home, the way it does for you, and the way it does for Jem. You are a lady, and yet you fight like a man, just as well as any man. You fight for me, to protect me, like you did just this afternoon. You ought to know that I am ever grateful for that, Charlotte. More than that, I find myself looking up to you as I might a heroine in one of my books. Like…a child might look up to a parent. I know that traditionally, it is one's father who walks one down the isle, but I do not have a father, and…"

Charlotte caught her breath, staring at Tessa with her mouth half-agape. "Oh." She breathed. "Tessa, I…" as if sensing her apprehension, Tessa dropped herself beside Charlotte, grasping both of her hands.

"Aunt Harriet raised me for sixteen years," she said softly. "And I have known you for only months. Yet in that time, I have come to see you as more of a mother than she ever was to me. Will you give me away at the wedding, Charlotte? Will you walk me down the isle?"

Charlotte did not even try to prevent the fat tears from rolling down her cheeks as she smiled, half-laughing as she sobbed.

"Of course I will, you silly child," she said, and Tessa threw her arms around her, embracing her tightly as she continued to cry and to beam, positively shining in every way. It was a nice feeling, to hold a person like that, like a child, someone who trusts you and loves you unconditionally. Charlotte thought of the baby, curled small inside her, and how many times she planned to hug him in his lifetime- when he was small, when he grew up, and even when he became his own man. Even when he came to be married. "Of course I will." She murmured into Tessa's hair, voice muffled. Over her head, Charlotte caught Henry's eye. He was grinning at her, still near the door looking terribly out of place.

"Oh, come here, dear," she said with a sigh, beckoning Henry with one arm. The ginger haired man did not hesitate, enveloping the two women in his arms and grinning absurdly.

Tessa did not know how long they stayed like that, but she did not want to let go. Through everything that she had been through in her life, all the best moments of both America and England- cooking with Aunt Harriet, Nate picking her up and twirling her around, talking to Sophie, kissing Will, and even kissing Jem, she had never felt quite like this before. Like she belonged. Like she was a part of a family.


	9. Chapter 8 To Protect The Ones We Love

**Hello wonderful people reading this!**

**So, this chapter's a little dramatic as far as relationships are concerned. There's some Will x Cecily sibling drama, Charlotte x Henry tension, and quite a dose of Jem x Tessa. (I know, I know, Jmac322, but it's necessary for the story :P). Oh, and as per usual, a bit o' poor-Will. Just before we get to it, thanks to my lovely reviewers! I'm just going to reply to some of the non-members reviews now, so feel free to scroll down to the story if you're not one of them **

Monica:** hehee nice name change so I decided to reply to people this way, like you suggested! Thank you for all your reviews so far, it's actually amazing to get compliments like that about my story. Oh, and you should definitely sign up and start your own fanfic! Just give it a go, even if you're not sure how- I know I'll read it **

FloridaGirl: **haha yeah, Tessa better watch out! *grabs pitchfork and waits silently for her to stuff things up*. Thanks for reviewing!**

Guest: **um. Don't know how to specify different guests, but thank you all for reviewing! And no, Cecily isn't shy at all ;). **

Cecily was already in her gear when Will came to her door, knocking impatiently on the wood. He grinned when he saw that she was ready, surprised. He could not say that his memory of Cecily involved any hint as to her being organized, but it was a pleasant revelation nonetheless. In fact, just the sight of his sister was pleasant to him that morning. In the midst of everything else around him, Cecily's face, so like and yet so different to his own, was a sudden relief to him. "I thought you were still asleep," he said. "Come on, then. You've had your time off, but we should get back to your training. As I was saying, guarded blades-"

"I'm not training," Cecily said abruptly, cutting him off. Will eyed her gear with a question in his gaze.

"So you have taken to wearing fighting gear to the library, to the dining table?" he suggested, sarcasm colouring his tone. "I suppose it is good to be prepared, but really, Cecy?"

"I mean," she qualified, "I am not training with you today. I asked Jem when we were fighting the automatons if he would teach me, and he has found it agreeable." Jem. Pain, and the closest feeling Will had ever felt to anger towards his parabatai, arose in his chest, awakening like a long-sleeping beast. It would always be Jem. And why would it not be? Why would anybody chose Will over the gentle, sweet nature of the other? It probably came across on his face, because when Cecily spoke again, her voice was as gentle as her words.

"It is not that you aren't a good teacher, Will, or that I do not enjoy your company. It is only that I find that training with somebody who is not my family- I may be able to focus more on the training, and not just the necessity to beat you."

"You never beat me," Will argued. "I never let you."

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," Cecily pointed out. "With you it will always be a competition. I need to just focus on learning the techniques, I think. More slowly."

"I could teach you the techniques," Will found himself saying. "I'm just as good a fighter as Jem is. Besides, he's awfully busy, what with…the circumstances." Cecily's mouth pressed into a hard line.

"He said he would teach me and he will," Cecily said. "He doesn't have to spend every waking moment with Tessa, you know."

"He would be wise to," Will muttered. Then, more loudly, he said: "Cecily, I wanted to talk to you about the other day. With the automatons."

"Oh, no, the big brother lecture," Cecily rolled her eyes. "Look, Will, I was completely fine, and-"

"You were completely fine because Jem was looking out for you," Will was almost snapping at her. "Because he leapt in front of you and took the cuts and the bruises in your place. Jem is selfless, Cecy, but that doesn't mean I will allow you to use him." His outburst was uncalled for, Will knew, but he had been thinking for a while now of what he was about to ask of his sister, and only now, abandoned and hurt, did he decide was the right time for it. If he could not spend time with her, he decided bitterly, if he could not train his Cecily, then nobody else here could.

"Use him?" Cecily's voice was pure venom. "I was not using him. He said himself that I fought well. I was the one who killed the automaton in the end."

"Because he let you," Will said, exasperated. "It's too late for you, Cecy. You're fifteen. It's too late for you to start learning to live like a Shadowhunter without being a liability to us."

"What are you saying?" Her words could have sliced through thick glass.

"I'm saying," Will said, clearly and evenly, "that I don't want you to waste Jem's time today, or mine tomorrow. I don't want you here. I want you to go back to our mother and father and just be mundane for them- just be their daughter." He hadn't expected her to take it well. But an explosion of foul words and fury would have been less shocking than the icy silence and the glare that he suffered from his sister in the moments that followed. After a long pause, she spoke.

"It is not for you to decide," her jaw was clenched, fingers curled into fists at her sides. "what I chose to do with my life, or who I chose to be. You made your choice. Don't presume to tell me that I cannot make mine."

"Don't you think I would go back if I could?" Will almost yelled. "I want to be their son. But I can never go back. To do so would be to break the law, to abandon Jem, and my family here."

"They could be my family too, Will!" Cecily shouted back at him. "Have you thought of that? Do you think it is all lovely, back at the manor? Do you think that it's easy to be the daughter of a grief-stricken couple, one who gambles away his money and the other who has worn nothing but white since the day you left, and Ella died? It isn't like it was in Wales!"

"And they will grow more sorrowful every day now that all of their children have left them!" Will was yelling at her now, eyes burning, cheeks flushed with anger and desperation. "Ella was killed, and I thought that I had no choice. You had no such reason to leave them. Go back, Cecy. God, please, go back to them. You don't belong here. You belong with them." He reached forward as if to stroke her hair, but Cecily stepped backwards in a single, fleeting motion, hand poised on the door, prepared to slam it closed.

"Who do you think you are?" she spat at him, her eyes shining as if she were about to burst into tears. "You think that a handful of memories and DNA makes you my big brother? You abandoned me. You didn't just leave them- you left me. They aren't your parents, they're mine, and I will decide where I belong. I'm not a child."

"Then why are you acting like one?"

Cecily's glare was strong enough, he thought, to cut through even the metal of the automatons in one clean run. It was also the only response he was to receive. Shortly after he'd spoken, Cecily closed the door tightly between them, and no matter how loudly he knocked on the door, or how desperately he called her name, she did not re-emerge. Eventually, Will gave up and wondered down the hall of the Institute, wondering if there was a single soul in the place to whom he was anything but an annoyance- or, in fact, the very thing he had accused Cecily of being- a liability.

Henry tried to be silent as he folded the stacks of thick paper into a suitcase at his arm. Unfortunately, the stealthy, cautious nature that was second nature to most Shadowhunters was neglect to him. The papers slipped from his hands, skidding into the open case with a dull thud.

"Henry? What are you doing?" Her voice came from the bedroom, and Henry had only time to curse his own clumsy hands before Charlotte emerged into the study, rounding belly first. She had been nearly completely bed-ridden for days now, and not by her own choice. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, and her eyes no longer carried heavy bags beneath them from lack of sleep. She frowned when she saw the suitcase full of official papers, snatching up a handful before Henry could open his mouth to explain. Charlotte gasped as she scanned through them.

"What's this?" She demanded. "A sighting of Mortmain? An Enclave meeting? Why is it that I was not made aware of any of this?" She looked at him in reproach, clutching the papers to her chest.

"I-Lottie, I was just…I didn't want you to worry," he stammered at last. "I can handle this."

"You can't," she shook her head, "you can't handle Mortmain by yourself, Henry. This is too important for you to keep to yourself."

"It isn't just me," Henry said. "In fact, this afternoon I am to attend a meeting with Consul Wayland-"

"A meeting with the Consul that the Head of the Institute was not informed of?" Charlotte cried out. "Henry, this is ridiculous! I am going to that meeting, and I am going to be kept informed on anything and everything involving the Magister and any of his business."

"I'm Head of the Institute too, Lottie," Henry said quietly, in a tone that Charlotte had heard before, many times, but never from her husband. Threatening.

"You're unbelievable," Charlotte shook her head, closing an angry fist around the papers, crushing them. "Henry, this is something that we haven't dealt with before. This is dangerous. Nephlim could be on the brink of a war against an army of automatons, and you choose this moment to try to assert some control? To keep me in the dark?"

"To protect you!" Henry roared, suddenly irrationally furious. Did she not see all that he was doing for her, all that he was trying to do? She had been happier these past weeks, she could not deny that. She had been happier in the dark, knowing nothing of the unpleasant rumours and the frightening glances that Mortmain and his army of metal had cast over the Nephlim world. The truth was, Henry knew far more than he had told the rest at the Institute. The news of Benedict Lightwood's murder alone had been enough to startle them all- his beloved Charlotte included. He had decided then that she would not know of the other killings. She wouldn't know of the dead bodies that had been harvested by the Dark Sisters, and how, despite their apparent deaths, the number of dead and missing mundanes had increased dramatically in the past months. She would not know that the Magister had been sighted walking towards the Yorkshire Institute last week, and, further back, in the downworld of Shang-hai. The lord knew what he had been doing at either destination, but Henry could venture to guess.

"I can protect myself!" Charlotte cried back. "I am a Shadowhunter, Henry! I am Head of the Institute, and I functioned so completely unaided for many years! Just because I carry a child now does not mean that I cannot continue to do so. I am used to taking care of more than one person, you know."

Her words struck him like a slap in the face. "Stop that," he said quietly, dropping his eyes so that he did not have to meet her fiery gaze.

"Stop what?" She hissed at him. The papers were still in her hands, although how anyone would be able to decipher anything from it ever again was beyond Henry. She was right, he knew. He should have been honest with her. She was strong, he could see that now, looking at her, seeing the fight she put up. She could handle whatever Mortmain threw her way. It only hurt him to know that he couldn't help her. He didn't need to. That didn't mean he would stop trying, though.

"Stop shouting," he managed, clearing his throat. "It's…bad for the baby." He eyed her stomach fondly. Charlotte looked exasperated, but, with a glance down at her middle, she sighed and ran her free hand through her hair, closing her eyes.

"When is the meeting?" she asked, her voice returning to its usual calm demeanor. "This afternoon at three. In the usual location under Westminister," Henry answered in a tired voice. Charlotte nodded once, her manner all-business. "I will accompany you," she stated simply. Henry moaned into the back of his hand. He did not like this idea at all. Yet, at the same time, he knew that arguing with Charlotte Branwell was a danger one must enter at their own risk.

Tessa had been in Jem's bedroom when he noticed the time shown on the brass clock by his bed. He was in loose training gear already in preparation for training Cecily. The betrothed couple had been up to nothing of the scandalous kind before that; just talking, enjoying the company of one another, when Jem had glanced at the time and began to draw himself to his feet, ever apologetic as he explained his prior engagement.

"I cannot say I don't feel the pressure," he admitted. "Training a Shadowhunter- training anybody, really- is serious business."

"When I asked if you could train Sophie and I, you said that you could not. That you hadn't yet completed your own training." There was no blame in Tessa's voice. Just curiosity.

"I know," he agreed. "As it is I am not confident that I am the right person for the job. But Charlotte and Henry are far too busy, and I think that leaving a Herondale to be trained by a Lightwood, even if that Lightwood does defy the rest of his family, is a recipe for disaster."

Tessa had smiled at that. "I thought that Will was training her."

"He was," Jem said with a small frown. "I'd suppose she does not wish to be trained by her brother. Or, at least, she believes I will prove to be a better teacher than Will. I'm afraid she may be sorely mistaken, but I will try my best. I'd imagine it would mean much to Will if we were to get along."

"I'd imagine it would," Tessa had agreed. "Go on, then. You'll be a brilliant instructor, no doubt."

"You flatter me," Jem said, kissing her softly on the lips, no more than a peck. Tessa followed him to his door, the two of them closing it behind them so that they were alone in the corridor. The sudden darkness seemed to ignite something between them, the feeling of their short kiss lingering over the two of them like a promising shadow to something more. Coiled emotion seemed to boil under the dark, and Jem turned to face her, his hands resting softly and properly at either of Tessa's elbows. Tessa smiled up at him, a teasing kind of smile. "Oughtn't you be making for the training room right now?" she whispered. "I certainly ought to be," he whispered back. Jem hesitated; Tessa did not. Stepping up onto her toes, she found Jem's lips in a single moment, warm and pleasant against her own. The kiss was gentle, lingering- but this time, gentle was not what Tessa wanted. She felt too terrible, too hateful of herself- too much as if she needed to prove to Jem and to herself that he was the one that she wanted. Deepening the kiss, Tessa bit down on his lower lip, flicking her tongue to outline the shape of his lips. Jem let out a groan of surprise as, of their own accord, Tessa's arms wound themselves around Jem's shoulders, his neck, tangling in his hair, even as she felt his fingers knotting in her own hair, pulling the pins away so that curls of brunnete hair tumbled over her shoulders, tickling the skin there. The faint light of sun fighting past the clouds outside barely touched either of them in the dark corridor, and within moments the two were fetched up against the side of a wall, kissing fiercely. Jem gasped for air between kisses, mouth falling back over Tessa's, hot and feverish. Jem wouldn't understand why Tessa was kissing him like this, she knew. But it didn't matter. He would understand that she loved him- _that _was all that mattered. Panting, Tessa moved away from Jem's lips, falling instead to his jaw, the curve of his neck, down his collarbone, kissing the pale skin there gently, and he gathered her skirts in his fists, pressing her closer to him. Something about the darkness, and her own guilty blood, made Tessa feel incredibly bold. Breaking away for a moment to bring her mouth to his ear, Jem went still as she whispered. "You really ought to be going, now." "Tessa," he said. "I'm not going anywhere." He pulled her lips away from his ear, leaning in to kiss her again. It was then that they heard movement in the corridor.

Tessa's hands dropped from his body, and Jem released Tessa's skirts, and yet the two were still vastly disheveled when Will rounded the corner and noticed the two of them, standing in close courters with each other. His hands were balled into tight fists at his sides, mouth set in a hard line as he stood there. Everything about the way he stood was dangerous, blue eyes flashing from Jem to Tessa, never resting on either one of them for long. Tessa found a spot on the ground and stared at it, if only to keep herself from having to see the hurt in those eyes, her cheeks heated. She had not meant to get so carried away- indeed, in a corridor, were anyone could walk in on them. Anyone _including _Will. Jem looked just as flustered.

"William," he croaked. "I, uh, um…I see you have caught me in a rather compromising position, then."

"So it would seem," Will said. He hadn't moved from where he was, and Tessa was sure that even Jem would notice the ice daggers that he was shooting at them with his words.

Jem did. "Oh, you are only jealous, I am sure," he said after a pause.

Everything froze in that moment. Will, still enough as it was, straightened up in alarm, eyes flying to Tessa, accusing, pleading- not daring to look at Jem. Tessa shot a horrified glance towards her fiance, and then back at Will again, finally meeting his eyes for the first time since she had kissed him the night before.

"Tessa told you?" Will whispered, still not looking at his friend. Jem froze, stepping back from the pair of them, laughing uncertainly.

"Good one, Will," he said. "I was joking, you know. Never fear…I didn't think…"

"Oh!" Will said, and at once he started to laugh too. The three of them laughed, ever awkwardly, Will trying to catch Tessa's eye, Tessa looking determinedly at Jem, false amusement plastered across her face.

"Dear lord, Jem," she said. "That wasn't funny!"

"The idea of my affection must be truly horrid to contemplate, then," Will said, half-joking, half-bitter. Tessa ignored him. "Very well, I you should not keep Cecily waiting any longer. I shall retire to my book." "I can accompany you to the library," Will suggested, if only to get her to look at him again. He knew that she would refuse him. "That's quite alright, I have a rather good one in my possession already," she said politely, smiling at Jem. "I will see you later?" "Of course." Jem grinned at her for a moment before turning to Will. "I presume Cecily told you that I'll be taking training off your hands today?" "Ever and always helpful, Carstairs." Jem nodded once, bowing out of the corridor with a hearty wave. Tessa did not wait one moment longer. Alone with Will was a situation that she could not bare to put herself in again. By the time he looked away from Jem, she had already slipped into her own room, sliding the door closed behind her so quietly it was almost inaudible.

**Well, that was awkward, wasn't it? R&R- tell me what you thought of this chapter! **


	10. Chapter 9 Unexpected Happenings

**Hellooooo there! I've got a few chapters stored up and ready to go, so I'll be updating fairly regularly :P. Thank you again to the people who have been reviewing (50 reviews-yayyy!)- it's really great to hear what you think and the compliments and comparisons to Cassie Clare are truly amazing :). Well, hope you like this chapter- first appearance of another favourite character, and a bit of a cliffhanger at the end ;). (R&R to tell me what you think of that part...you'll know it when you get to it :P.) **

**A few replies again to the guest accounts:**

Monica: **Aww, thanks so much! Haha yeah let me know if you start your fanfic. Sadly, Sophie and Gideon are absent from this chapter, but there's some somewhat depressing mentioning of Will x Tessa for you here...sorry bout that :( **

Guest: **Thank you! Haha, it's good to know I've been living up to expectations- hope this chapter doesn't disappoint :P. I've got a little bit of Will here for you, so enjoy :) **

FloridaGirl: **Wow, that's so nice of you to say! Being kinda realistic about the whole situation is exactly what I was aiming for :) it annoys me when I read something where things are magically forgotten too. As for the real Clockwork Princess though, I bet Cassie's got something far more sophisticated and bittersweet in store for the poor characters :P. **

Guest: **hehe thanks! And yes indeed, where is Gabriel? Hmmmm...well we'll find out about that quite a bit later. He's a bit of a Mystery Man for now ;)**

Guest: **haha :P here's an update! Thanks for reviewing- but please, don't contemplate suicide :P self destruction is never the answer. **

"Cecily!" Jem cried out, tumbling to the floor in an instant. The dark haired girl smirked down at him, one foot on either side of his sprawled limbs, putting him at her mercy. He had only just walked through the training room door when she had attacked him from above, leaping down from one of the roof beams and knocking him down.

"Got you," she said, spinning the guarded blade in her hand and touching it lightly to the pulse jumping at his throat. Jem blinked up at her, a smile playing at his lips.

"That was well done," he said. "Will has been teaching you well." "Will didn't teach me that," she said, holding out a hand to help him to his feet. "I've been experimenting." "Rather painful experiment," he remarked, rolling back his shoulder blades where they ached from hitting the floor. Cecily watched him with a slightly guilty look. "I thought that it would take a lot to harm a trained Shadowhunter," she said by way of apology. Jem waved his arm.

"I am not a trained Shadowhunter. Not yet." Cecily drew back, dropping his hand from hers. "The way you fought that Automaton, I find that difficult to believe." "Likewise." Jem inclined his head. "I know you are well familiar with the sword, and are more than capable with utilising your body to defend and attack. I thought that I might show you what I can of throwing daggers. They can prove quite useful for longer distance quarrels." Cecily made a face. "I don't much care for killing from a distance," she said. "It seems…disrespectful, in a sense, to keep your distance, to refrain from looking them in the eye or acknowledging their courage when you fight." "Even when it is a demon you are fighting?" Jem raised an eyebrow. "Even then. Laugh if you will," she shook her head. "I do not care if you think me foolish for it." "Well, I do not." Cecily looked at him measuredly for a moment before she grinned at him, eyes glinting. That glint was so familiar to Jem, for he had seen it in Wills' own eyes, and yet to see them in Cecily's reached him like it never had with Will. Wills' eyes had always been shaded. Hate, anger, sarcasm, bitterness, loneliness, amusement. Cecily simply looked cheerful. She looked radiant, as beautiful as any woman Jem had ever seen, and as happy and sure of herself as any person in the world could ever be. He shook aside this thought, of course. Tessa was the only woman in his life now. Now, and forever, he chided himself silently, a smile on his lips as he did. Catching himself, Jem cleared his throat.

"Shall we begin, then?"

"Who could possibly be here at this hour?" Charlotte grunted under her breath as she strode towards the Institute door, Henry cowering in her wake. "I don't suppose you lied to me about the time of the meeting to? I don't suppose they are all coming here now-" she broke off amid her anger to blink in surprise at their visitor. She had been so sure, when she had heard the summoning bell chime, that she would be met by the faces of the Enclave members. Instead, a tall, thin man wearing suspenders, a ridiculously tight jacket, and a long hanging necklace stood under the frame, an amused expression on his face.

"Magnus Bane?" she managed, flustered. "Whatever are you doing here? That is to say, I was not expecting you." "Judging by your outburst, I would guess you were expecting someone far less charming than myself, " Magnus said with a sly look. "I was walking by when I thought that I would step in, check up on all your Nephlim affairs."

"Check up on- that really won't be necessary," Charlotte managed firmly. Watching Magnus examine his fingernails carefully, she could not say that she liked the Warlock. Warlocks had always frightened her- not that she would ever admit it to anybody. They had a kind of power originated from all that was demonic in the world. It was true that she knew some fine warlocks. Merely, she did not like their power in general. Magnus seemed like the kind of man who would use it to frighten or to entertain. That frightened her even more.

"Were you really walking by?" Henry said timidly. He shrunk back when Charlotte turned to glower at him. "You just don't seem very wet." Charlotte turned back around, studying Magnus. Indeed, Henry had a point. "Did you use magic?" Charlotte said in a guarded voice. Magnus grinned at them before pulling something out from behind him. She started, but it was only a dripping grey umbrella.

"Close enough, Charlotte, dear," he said breezily. "And now, if you would be so kind as to let me past the threshold. It really is quite chilly outside. Never fear, it was one of your young ones who I wish to visit." He set the umbrella leaning against the doorframe, making it clear that he did not intend on leaving any time soon. Sighing, Charlotte stepped back to let him inside.

"Just be gone before the three o'clock," she warned him.

"Enclave meeting to go to?" Magnus enquired.

"Yet another," Henry said before Charlotte could deny it. She stepped on his foot. "My, you do lead such short, structured lives, don't you?" Magnus mused. "Well, on that note, I will leave you to it. I have business with one of your younger ones. Although, let it not be said that I left you both without a word of congratulations." He winked in Henry's direction. "It's about time you two had one on the way." Charlotte's mouth was left half agape as the giant warlock swept past them both, disappearing in a swirl of his coat. "What in the name of Heaven," Charlotte muttered, shaking her head as she watched after him. Sometimes the things that happened in the Institute were so strange that she felt the need to pinch herself just to confirm reality.

"James, for god's sake-" Will stopped abruptly, blinking. "Magnus?" "William." The warlock bowed his head, not seeming all too interested in the other mans' shock at his presence. He just stood there, welcoming himself into the Great Library, where Will stood, a frail old book in his hand. "I must say, I was surprised to find you here alone. I rather imagined I'd find you frolicking through flowers surrounded by family and pretty girls, given the situation with your false curse. Well_, a _pretty girl. How are things with the lovely Miss Gray?" The look on Will's face was enough to finally capture his full attention. It seemed that in that moment, he could not have said anything worse. The eyes he had last seen full of hope were now sick with misery, muscles more heavily corded, but skin pulled tight across his face. Will looked worn down to the core.

"There are no things with Miss Gray," he said dully. "Henry and Charlotte are doing god knows what for the council, Jessamine is in prison, and Jem is training Cecily. My presence is rather unwanted in any regard." "I had heard that your sister had joined the Institute," Magnus said carefully. Finding out the full length of what had transpired since they had last seen each other was going to be difficult and tiresome, that he knew. He had seen wild animals with the same look as Will. They would growl and fight until they were exhausted. He took a seat on one of the sofas near the fireplace there, unlit despite the chilly weather. "Are you not pleased?" For a moment there was silence. Then, "Not pleased? My parents," Will choked, "have been left alone in a manor house that Mortmain has let them live in, surrounded-guarded- by automatons, with a dead child, and two others who have left them. No. I am not pleased. Cecily should be with them. She had a choice and she chose wrong." "Well, however right or wrong it may have been, neither of you may go back now. If I were you, I would waste no time holding grudges. Here is your chance, Will. Your sister has come to find you." "She came to be trained," Will went on. "I tried to train her- I tried to take my chance, but she chose Jem. Just the other day, she refused to return to safety and fought an automaton with barely any training. Since then, she has asked for Jem to train her instead of me. She has no use for me." "Don't be so dramatic," Magnus said calmly. By now he was soundly seated in an armchair. Will, despite the presence of a second one, remained pacing on his toes. "It is often difficult to be trained by family in such a respect. That does not mean she despises your presence." Will scowled.

" In any case, I suppose that none of it matters much to you," he said. "Very well, Magnus. I know well that you have come to claim the favour that I owe to you. Name your price."

Magnus waved his hand. "I haven't come to get favours from you, Nephlim. I merely stopped by to see my hard work paid off. Now that I am here, I see that it has not done as I had thought it would." He peered at Will almost accusingly. "Warlocks," Will cursed to himself. "Look, I'm sorry that you have been disappointed. But I will not allow any pity to prevent me from payment. I am a Shadowhunter, Magnus. We do not let debts go unpaid." "Look at yourself, then, Shadowhunter," Magnus said. "Look at your own pity. Are you going to tell me why I did not find you frolicking through a field of dandelions, William? Are you going to tell me the whole truth?"

"No man frolicks through dandelions," Will said stubbornly. "Least of all in London. It rains far too much to consider the damage to ones' clothes that would cause." "You said that there are no things with Miss Gray," Magnus said, purposely slowly. "What exactly does that mean?" "Exactly as it sounds, Magnus," Will said wearily. "I was wrong. She has no feelings for me." Magnus paused mid-thought, eyeing the boy.

"Come again?"

"You heard me." Will ran his fingers through his hair, slamming the old book he held into a tight space in one of the shelves before finally dropping into the chair beside Magnus in resignation. "I was mistaken." "That night on the balcony," Magnus began, but Will cut him off. "She asked me never to speak of it again, you know," he said. "I promised her that I wouldn't. I intend to keep that promise, if you don't mind. I have no wish to shame her. What she did was under the influence of a foreign drug- magic." He all but spat the word. "She never would have touched me so otherwise." "That is not what the pink drinks do," Magnus protested. "It is….alike to the effects of common alcohol. It numbs the senses. But it does not change what one wants…or loves." "Magnus-" Will's voice sounded stretched thin, and if he did not know him better, Magnus would have thought he was about to cry. "Of course, she may be reluctant to trust you," Magnus pressed on, "but you must give her time. Be patient. I am- almost certain that she does possess some feelings for you, William. Why, when I escorted her back to the Institute that night, after you ran after that cursed demon of yours, she expressed the upmost concern for-"

"She is engaged, Magnus!" Will almost shouted, a vein pressing in his forehead as he leaned forward to bellow in the other man's face. Magnus was frozen looking at him, expressionless in the face of his outburst. "She's engaged to Jem Carstairs." He went on, not quite as loudly, but wild enough. "My parabatai. I told her that I loved her and she….she loves him. She's marrying him. They're…and I will have no one. Jem will not want my company. Tessa barely stands in a room with me as it is. I thought that I had been given a chance, Magnus, and I thank you for what you've done- but now I find that perhaps I do not have a choice anymore. I have worn my mask for five years. Perhaps it is too late for me to take it off. Certainly, it is too late to hope that Tessa might come to love the person underneath."

"Engaged," Magnus repeated. He had lived so many years, and would live so many more, that he could not possibly be shocked. Still, his eyes filled with pity for Will Herondale when he looked at him next. "I had not expected so much." Will said nothing, only gazed into empty space, his eyes unfocused on anything in particular. "But," Magnus went on, "it is not the end of the world."

"I know that," Will said shortly, and Magnus felt a wave of relief; and just a hint of pride. After all his struggles, he had well feared that this might've served as the last straw for Will.

"You do?"

"The world simply does not favour me," Will replied. "It never has. I may well be ruined, but the world is not. And Jem is not. And nor is Tessa." He said her name the way he had said it before, when he had come to Magnus for help; as though it were so precious yet so painful and deadly all at once. And that was exactly what this girl was to him now.

"It is not the end for you," Magnus clarified. "With a face like yours, and a heart now as well- you will have no difficulty in-"

"Finding someone to love me?" Will said. "Finding someone else? She said that to me, you know. She felt sorry for me. Must everybody look at me with pity in their eyes? Everybody who knows the truth…"

"Will," Magnus said, suddenly alerted to something.

"Magnus?" Will said, raising an eyebrow.

"Speaking of the truth…how much of this have you told James? Does he know?"

"About the curse?" Will said, knowing that was not what Magnus meant, but biding for time all the same. Magnus shook his head, his expression serious.

"About Tessa."

The longer Jem trained the more he grew bemused by the girl who was with him. Cecily was so like Will, yet so unlike him at the same time, it was curious to witness. While her flashes of confident grins and playful remarks reminded him of his parabatai, there wasn't such a bitter edge underneath it all- as if Cecily truly was just a condensed body of energy and enthusiasm. She never tired, either. While Jem was hiding pants beneath his breath, Cecily breathed easily and quietly as she countered his attacks and launched her own. Like Will, she was ruthless with her attacks. The difference was, she was more impatient. She waited in the shadows, not moving, for mere seconds at a time- although those seconds were enough for her attacks to come unexpectedly. Will would have taken more time, enjoying the suspense, perhaps whistling to goad his opponent._ Stop comparing her to Will_, Jem scolded himself. He ought to know that a person's family did not define them. He ought not to judge or compare. Indeed, if it was anybody else but Will's sister, he would not have made such comparisons at all. It was only that Cecily seemed to be everything that Jem loved about Will, without the mystery and the anger. He knew that Will was not happy about it- though he could not imagine why- but he enjoyed Cecily's company in the Institute. She was a friend in a gloomy place. She was- right in front of him.

Jem heard a crash of metal and winced as he saw his own sword clatter to the ground some feet away, and a sharp, cold point at his neck caused him to turn his head and look into a pair of glinting blue eyes.

"Gotcha," Cecily said, her voice softer than usual, she seemed to speak with her eyes as well. They were beautiful eyes, Jem noted. They spoke of the darkest night and the brightest day all at once, and it was as though she was at the center of it all, still smiling, in sadness and in joy. When Jem did not speak, she paused for a moment, looking at him, before taking the tip of her knife away from his skin. Jem cleared his throat.

"That was well done," he said. "Will has been training you well." His eyes flitted to hers, and again he was struck by their beauty; they seemed to hold so much depth. Yet she was so young…well, that was not precisely true. Cecily was only a year younger than Tessa, and Jem was marrying her.

"Will has been throwing knives at me with the ferocity of a wild grizzly bear," Cecily said, "it's just nice to be able to train with somebody more subtle about technique. That's what I was really worried about. Thank-you, Jem. I can see why Will chose you. To be parabatai, I mean."

"Thank-you, Cecy. That…it's so kind of you to say," Jem said, because it was. Cecily smiled at him, then raised an eyebrow, stepping closer to him.

"What I don't understand is why you agreed."

"Pardon?"

"I cannot claim to know him now, but back when I did- Will was…difficult. Mad, even. Parabatai bonds are supposed to be two-way. What's in it for you?"

"How did you know it was not I who asked Will for the bond?"

"Because no one would ask to love Will." Jem studied Cecily's face, momentarily stunned by blunt and terrible words she had just uttered, but more so by the matter-of-fact tone with which she said it.

"One cannot ask to love anyone, really," he said gently, suddenly unsure of what to say. It was unsettling. Jem was not always certain in himself, it was true, but usually he at least knew what to say to other people- understood them properly. Cecily was still a mystery to him.

"Apparently," she replied, her voice very gentle. She was watching him, just as he was watching her. As if she were trying to puzzle him out, and was intrigued by what she found. For a moment, both of them were quiet, just standing, intent on uncovering some kind of truth from each other. Then Cecily spoke, a strange edge to her voice. "You really love him, don't you? You love my brother."

"He is my brother too," Jem said, because it was true. "Of course, I do."

"And you love Charlotte. And Henry. And Sophie. And you loved Thomas and Agatha- I've heard you speak of them with that look in your eye. And you love Tessa Gray." At mention of Tessa, Jem's heart fluttered in his chest.

"Yes."

Cecily stepped back clumsily, almost tripping over her own feet, and when Jem steadied her he realised that her eyes were now shining with tears. Horrified at what he might have done to upset her, Jem released his grip and began to apologize.

Not that he was ever able to finish. It all happened so quickly, he could not have said for certain how it happened- all he knew was that one minute he was holding a weeping Cecily in his arms, the next, her arms were entwined around his neck and she was kissing him fiercely.

**...*inappropriate cupcake*. Gawsh. Well, this is a bit of a scandelous situation. What's an engaged Shadowhunter to do? R&R to find out!**

**Side note: so sorry about Magnus. I simply cannot do him justice *hangs head in sparkly, sparkly shame*. **


	11. Chapter 10 Sour

**Hi guys! You continue to amaze me with your super nice reviews . It's tough with the Will/Tessa/Jem situation now, because some of you prefer Wessa and some are Jessa all the way, so hopefully you'll all be happy with how things turn out (not going to spoil anything, though :P ). So, this chapter you'll see what happens with Jem and Cecily. Tell me what you think about it- out of character for Jem, or spot on? Also, Mortmain's being a bit of a silent assassin. Something biiggg is about to happen. Muahahaa…. Enjoy **

**Now, just a reply to the guest accounts who've reviewed the last chapter:**

Genelia:** aww, thank you so much! Ily too & no problem with the Will pov. Sadly, this chapter is a bit lacking in the Will department…next chapter tho **

FloridaGirl:** hmmm….you may be right about Jem ;) haha and yes, Magnus is right about Chenry. He is Magnus Bane, after all. **

Monica:** hehehe wow thank youu! That's such a big compliment- really hope I can live up to it now :P. This chapter may (or may not :P) answer your Cecily x Jem question **

Shadows:** Jessa fan? Hehee I'm really glad you liked the Jem x Tessa. I want to write this fairly realistically, so don't worry, there's going to be a lot of Jessa still to come :P. There's also going to be a lot of Wessa though. Tessa does love both of them, so we'll see…**

Charlotte was tapping her foot and facing away from Henry into the fireplace when an unexpected guest arrived. Consul Wayland entered the room from the back, pale-blue eyes flickering from the light of the fire. He did not return Charlotte's forced smile.

"Consul," Henry stepped forward and shook his hand. "We were expecting to see you at the meeting later." Charlotte struggled to keep her composure at that.

"To what do we owe your visit, Consul?" she put in sharply with a glance at Henry, as if it was his fault. She knew it wasn't; deep down, that is. She knew she should try to be compassionate. But nobody could afford to be compassionate right now.

"The others, unfortunately, have business elsewhere. It would be unwise for us all to gather under one roof these days Charlotte, I'm sure you can understand that- given recent events. I have come here to inform you as such- the meeting at Westminister has been cancelled until further notice."

"These events you are referring to," Charlotte said icily, "would you care to elaborate? As far as I was aware, we were to meet a small gathering of people tonight."

"Indeed, we were under that impression," Henry put in quickly- and Charlotte was sure he was doing so just to let her know that he wasn't hiding anything else from her- or at least, to give that impression. Consul Wayland scratched his head, eyeing them thoughtfully.

"I suppose I would not expect you to be aware that only hours ago, our own George Penhallow was assassinated in his home. Automatons," he added by way of explanation.

"Oh, my," Henry gasped. "What of his family? His wife?"

"His wife and their unborn child," there was real grief in the Consuls' voice now, "are nowhere to be found. Members of the Enclave are there now, searching for the body."

"She was carrying a child?" Charlotte's hands flew automatically to her own swollen stomach protectively.

"I'm afraid so. And that is not all. You will recall Lilian Highsmith, of course, as one of the three we are currently questioning for their support of Benedict in taking the Institute," the Consul reminded them. Charlotte responded with a curt nod of her head. "She was reported missing- not an hour after the slaughter of the Penhallows'. I thought it in the best interests of the Council to warn the others to stay away. It would be unwise for every one of us to gather under one roof, should an attack strike again. Mortmain is powerful, Charlotte, Henry."

"We are aware of his power, Michael," Charlotte said stiffly. "But in regards to postponing the meeting…" she hesitated, looking over at Henry for a moment as though for support. Her husband merely blinked at her, oblivious as to what she may need help with. "I am not sure that it is in the best interest of the Enclave to delay deliberation. We must unite if we are to establish our next move. We are aware now of his recent whereabouts, at least. Should we not try to intercept him while we can? Find him before he can get too far away?"

"I'm surprised of you, Charlotte," Michael Wayland said; he was still standing towards the room's entrance, making it clear that he did not assume this to be a long discussion. "I would have thought that you would prioritize your safety before immediate action- especially given your condition." Charlotte drew her hands in around her stomach.

"And I am surprised of you, Consul," she said tightly. "The mandate of the Shadowhunters-"

"Do not assume I have forgotten," he said curtly. "It is merely too risky to meet now, when the Magister is-"

"Is what? Regrouping? He killed George Penhallow, he knew we were going to meet today, he is anything but unprepared, and I have reason to suspect that he made his move in order to prevent us from meeting, to keep us stumbling around in the dark without a clue."

"And what genius idea would you suggest then, Mrs Branwell?" the Consul's tone was suddenly very cold. "That is, if you have one."

"Michael," Henry said imploringly, but he might as well not have been there at all, for all the attention the other man paid him. Charlotte kept her chin raised as he spoke to her, much like a parent speaks to a child who does not understand something.

"I can appreciate that you would like to take action, Charlotte. You show true initiative in that. But my duty as Consul is to ensure that there are Shadowhunters to make up the Enclave so that we can make decisions in the future, and I saw no point, and still see no point, in gathering together the group of colourfully opinionated people to bicker about what not to accomplish. You and I know perfectly well that as it stands, nobody has any new leads on Mortmain, much less on what to do about him. We will wait until a more appropriate time to deliberate. For now, I will leave you both to your evening." Having given his speech, he inclined his head, making for the exit. Charlotte, numb in a curious combination of frustration and fear, made no move to show him to the door in a most unladylike way. If she were human, she knew that would not have been simply taken. If she were a young lady, she would show guests to the door and invite them inside with warm smiles and bright gowns. She would hear nothing of murders, and she would not stay awake at night thinking of such dark matters either, formulating strategies and fearing consequences. There were times when she thought of that and felt wistful. That this world was not for her to admire, but for her to earn through blood and sweat. She looked at Henry then, almost not able to help herself for it. He wasn't looking after the Consul, but at her, eyes wide with concern. Here was a man who still treated her like a lady. Here was a man who had tried to shield her from the ugly of the world. A smile slipped onto her face, betraying her, marking her out as a woman in love. Hesitantly, almost confused, Henry smiled back, and she took his hand in hers, leaning her body against him where they stood.

"What are we going to do?" she whispered to him, a question she daren't have ever asked anybody but Henry.

"We're not going to give up," Henry said. "I cannot say that we can search London for Mortmain manually, but I have been thinking recently... the Downworld is a dangerous place these times, but if Gideon goes with Will and Jem, I am certain that they will come across someone who knows something more specific. It's how we managed to unveil a great deal about the Dark Sisters, is it not? Before Will retrieved Tessa from that dreadful house."

"Henry," Charlotte said, smiling. "That's a good idea."

"Why the tone of surprise, darling?" Henry said reproachfully, but he was smiling when he turned her around to face him.

"You always surprise me," she said. "That's a good thing." One of the things that Charlotte wished she could change was how tiny she was. Henry was not a very tall man, and yet, she had to stand on the very tips of her toes to meet him at eye-level. Leaning in, she kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Oh, god, the lovebirds!"

Shocked, Charlotte and Henry flew apart, looking around to see Magnus Bane, returned from his mission and shielding his eyes dramatically with his hand.

"Magnus," Charlotte said. "Your business here is complete, I do suppose?"

"Complete?" Magnus shook his head. "I would have thought so when I came in, but now I see that everything is well and thoroughly incomplete. No, I have merely decided that my involvement ceases here. Not that I expect it to hold up for long, of course. Why I am so charitable to the unfortunate, I will never know." Sweeping his ludicrously tall hat from the hat-stand, Magnus nodded to the couple by the door.

"Until such time. Charlotte, Henry."

Charlotte blinked. One moment, the warlock had been standing not a few feet away from them. The next, he had vanished in a cloud of blue haze.

"Magic," Henry said. "Would that not come in handy at times?"

"Perhaps. I was just thinking…"

"Thinking what, dear?"

"Well, let's not forget, Mortmain can vanish into thin air too."

For a moment, Jem was so shocked that he stood completely still, intensely aware of everything that was happening as if it was occuring in slow motion. He felt the unexpectedly cold skin of her hands, curled around either side of his neck, sending goose-bumps across the skin there. He felt the soft fabric of her training clothes crushed against him, the hint of a teardrop making her lashes damp. He felt her lips, almost rough as she kissed him, not stopping for air. It was as though she didn't need it- as though he was her air, and she was breathing him in.

And then Jem remembered where they were and who she was, and turned away with a jolt.

"Cecily."

He looked at her, eyes wide, mouth ajar. His silver hair was tussled from her fingers running through it. Cecily looked determinedly back, blue eyes meeting silver ones.

"What's the matter?" she said.

"Cecily," he said again, stunned, lost for words. "I- Tessa."

"But she's not a Shadowhunter," Cecily said abruptly. "She doesn't even know who she is."

Jem just stared at her, her words sinking in. Not a Shadowhunter.

"That doesn't matter," he said. He could hardly believe that it was Cecily saying this- the sister of his parabatai. Will had never said such a thing about Tessa. But then, Will had never kissed Jem when he was engaged to her either- mores the pity. "Cecily, Tessa's not- a label does not define a person."

"I know that," Cecily said impatiently. "That's not what I meant. But I….she likes books. She likes poetry. You don't. You play violin. She plays nothing. You love animals. She stood on Church's tail in the hall accidentally and he let out a dreadful cry. She isn't right for you, Jem."

"I don't believe that's true," Jem said. "Cecily, I am going to marry Tessa."

"You are only marrying her because you don't want to die without being married." She was so blunt- so terribly honest, Jem couldn't meet her eye. "You shouldn't do that. You shouldn't…give up like that. There is a cure, you know."

"A cure?"

"I'm certain of it. And we will find it. You don't have to-"

"I don't have to do anything," Jem said. "I want to marry Tessa. I would want to regardless of my condition. I asked her to marry me, and it was the single happiest moment of my life when she agreed. I am sorry, Cecily, but I'm afraid that I don't quite understand you-"

"You don't know me yet," she said. "Jem, please, I…"

"You do not love me, Cecily," he said it as gently as he could. He had not seen any of this coming- indeed, he had trouble believing it now. "Do not say that you do, it will not be true. You are fifteen, Cecily-"

"Tessa is sixteen."

"-and you are not like me. You have a life ahead of you, and one day you will meet a gentleman deserving of your affections."

"I don't love you," Cecily said angrily. "I never said I did."

This confused Jem even more. He blinked at the fierce girl before him, trying to understand. Jem, who had always been the one who understood people better than most, was furrowing his brow and struggling to comprehend this one.

"Then…Cecily, why did you kiss me?"

"I kissed you because I _could _love you," she said. "One day, James, I think I could. You are a good person. You're funny. And you don't judge other people."

"Thank-you, Cecily. That is truly flattering. But I'm afraid that to me, you will always be Will's little sister. I would like to get to know you as such, do not presume otherwise. But I would like to get to know you as a friend- as family. It is too late to consider anything otherwise."

"It doesn't have to be too late," Cecily said.

"It doesn't have to be," said Jem, "but I want to marry Tessa. And so you will understand, I am sure, that I hope we can both forget that this ever happened."

There was silence for a moment, for the first time since Cecily had kissed him. Before then, no moment with Cecily had been uncomfortable. Now, Jem wished he was anywhere else but here.

"Well then," Cecily said at last. "I see your mind is set. Shall we return to my training?"

"I think we are finished for today," Jem said quickly. "In fact, I think I might go and find Thomas and see if he can't sharpen up a few of these practicing blades." He took a handful of them from where they hung on the training wall, rusty and dull as they were. Cecily watched him, leaning against the wooden wall with her arms crossed over her chest.

"So we can use them tomorrow?"

Jem hesitated, turning to face her. "I think perhaps it would be best if I did not train you. I'm sure Will would be more than happy to have you as his student again, and I am not well enough often enough besides. I do not wish to make things odd between us Cecily."

"Ignoring me won't make things odd?" her voice was heavy with sarcasm.

"Ignoring? No. Merely refraining from creating a situation in which the two of us will be regularly alone together. Let us get to be friends, Cecily, but not in this manner."

Cecily grunted. "I don't want to be trained by Will. I meant what I said before. He trains like a feral cat."

Jem had to smile at that. "I'm sure Gideon will be more than happy to welcome you into his class then. I will see you at dinner, Cecily."

He turned around, taking his blunt blades with him, but not before he saw the hurt in Cecily's eyes and felt it as if it were his own. _What have I done?_

**Me: yeah Jem, what have you done?  
Jem: I feel really bad about that. I hate making people upset. But I love Tessa. **

**Me: Oh, I know, I know. 3 JEM AND TESSA SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-**

**Jem: what are you spelling? I- oh. Ohh…..**

**Me: Teehee! **

**R&R to tell me what you think about this Jem x Cecily drama. Thank you!**

**I know it's kinda short compared to some of the other chapters…depending on the reviews this chapter gets, I might update really soon though xD. **


	12. Chapter 11 Unsettling

**Hi guys! I feel like a bit of a broken record saying 'thanks for reviewing', but I truly mean it :) it makes my day every time! I tried to make this chapter a bit longer to make up for the short one last time. There's some Tessa x Sophie friendship, mentioning of Jessa and...ugh...Gophie? (anyone know Gideon and Sophie's ship name? :P ). And then...a bit of a twist at the end... muahhaaha. Thanks for reading guys, now just a few replies to guest reviewers:**

AC: **Hello! Thanks for taking the time to review :). I see you're a Wessa person? xD isn't Will just soo...Will? Good to hear that its in character, too. **

Monica**: Hai again! Haha, no problem :P glad you find the story interesting enough to keep checking! And I must say, I agree with you on all those: Will is ahhhmazing, Jem is sweeeett, and Cecily is **_**quite **_**blunt. :)**

sdf: **Jecily Ship! :P Hehe, interesting to hear! Some people don't like their pairing as much, but we shall see...**

FireyShadows: **haha yeah that was even awkward to write. Jem's politeness plus Cecily's not-so-politeness was kind of destined to equal a bit of an awkies situation. :P Glad you liked it! Heere's an update:) **

FloridaGirl: **aah! Thanks for telling me about the 'Thomas' thing! Can't believe I missed that :P ahh, I'm living in the past. I must come to accept the fact that Thomas is dead...*sniff sniff*. And yes, you did see what I did there :P moooood swings! There's some more of that in this chapter too hehee. And aww, thanks for saying several people will want to read it :)! I'll certainly be a verry happy vegemite if that's true! (happy vegemite is a kinda strange Australian thing...don't mind me, people-who-aren't-Australian :P.) **

Shopping with Sophie was different to shopping with Jessamine. It was the same city and the same stores, and they had come by carriage, just as Tessa had with Jessamine when she had first arrived at the Institute and Jessamine had convinced Charlotte that she was in sore need of new dresses. But Thomas wasn't the driver anymore. Now it was Cyril who drove them in and dropped them off, pulling over to park and telling them not to rush. Now Tessa was engaged, in search of the perfect dress, and she had come with a friend- not an aquaintance, and not just a maid, but a Maid of Honour and a friend- to help her chose.

"I cannot thank you enough, Ma'am," Sophie said, not for the first time. Tessa smiled but waved off her thanks.

"You may not be thanking me by the end of this morning, Sophie," she said. "I do believe we may both be completely exhausted. I do not know how long we can expect this to take."

"One cannot place a time limit on shopping," Sophie said. "At least, that is what Miss Lovelace used to say."

"Let's not dwell on what Miss Lovelace used to say, shall we," Tessa said, mind flashing back to her last, haunting vision of Jessamine- a broken girl in a broken cell. "Let's just be Sophie and Tessa buying dresses."

"Of course, Miss," Sophie inclined her head, and Tessa bit her lip a little. It seemed that no matter who asked, Sophie would not address a mistress by her Christian name.

"The Shadowhunter colour for weddings is gold," Sophie told her in a half-whisper as they stepped into the first shop. It certainly appeared promising from the outside; great golden letters curled to form a french name, and beautiful, billowing gowns and lace graced the shopping windows. "I wasn't sure if you preferred to honour that tradition, or the Mundane one- white."

"White is the colour of grief for…for Jem, is it not?" Tessa queeried, unwilling to speak directly of the Shadow World. The shop was considerably crowded for a small boutique, customers thin as twigs browsing for dresses that best flattered their size. Customers who might have been puzzled to overhear the things that Sophie and Tessa were talking about.

"Indeed, Miss."

"In that case, I think I would prefer to dress in gold. I cannot have people thinking I am sad on my wedding day."

"Gold?" a shop assistant came around, positioning herself between Tessa and Sophie, a grin plastered across her face. "I admire your taste, Miss. If your Maid would allow it, I believe I can help you find just the thing, if you'll come through to the back of the store with me. What is the occasion?" She was very pretty, in the way that Jessamine was. Like a doll that has learned to dress itself up in beautiful clothes. Tessa and Sophie made after her.

"A wedding," Tessa responded, keeping close to Sophie, although she couldn't say why. Suddenly, she was feeling uneasy, as though she ought to be at the Institute. Charlotte had warned them to be cautious-

"Sorry," the pretty shop assistant said, turning to stop them at the door into the storage section of the store, marked by a crooked sign above it, very different to the showy one outside the shop. "I'm afraid only the buyer is allowed past this point." She looked pointedly at Sophie. "You'll have to wait outside."

Sophie's face fell.

"Oh. I see…well then…"

"No," Tessa said, suddenly unreasonably irritated. "I'm afraid I'd rather like Sophie to come with me. I require her opinion."

"Surely your maid can wait outside," the girl said, the smile never leaving her face. "I could find something pretty for her too, if you'd like."

"A kind offer, Ma'am," Sophie said curtly.

"Not at all," the assistant gushed. "Just because your face has been ruined, there is no reason you can't still dress simply beautifully."

There was a pause in which Sophie stared at the girl, expression blank, and Tessa glared openly at her. She remembered when she had arrived at the Institute, how tense and timid Sophie had become whenever she thought Tessa would perhaps ask about what had happened to her face- let alone make a nasty comment. Sophie, so proud, so indifferent to her scar- and this woman had just spoken of it so rudely as though it were the absolute truth.

"Excuse me?" Tessa said, words escaping her mouth before she could stop them. She did not think she would have tried to if she could, either. "I may have misheard, but I believe you just said something quite frankly rude to my friend."

"Rude? Miss, I-" the girl hesitated, eyes quite openly fixed on Sophie's scars.

"I think we'll be leaving now," Tessa continued coldly.

"Oh, you needn't do that."

Sophie was staring at Tessa now, recovered from being insulted, and instead, looking at the other girl with her mouth half open in surprise.

"No, I needn't. But no dress of mine will be bought from this store again, nonetheless," Tessa said, flashing a tight smile at the humiliated shopping assistant.

"Miss Tessa, what were you thinking?" Sophie said the moment they were out of the shop. "I wouldn't have minded waiting outside, truly, it's your wedding dress, Miss! What if the perfect dress was in that shop?"

"The perfect dress wasn't in that shop, Sophie," Tessa said calmly.

"Well, you'll never know now," Sophie said agitatedly. "I don't see why you had to refuse to go without me."

"You're my maid of honour," Tessa said. "I can't buy a dress without you. I meant what I said in the store; I need your opinion. Besides, that girl was so horribly rude to you…" she trailed off, looking at Sophie uncertainly. "Take no regard for it, Sophie. She didn't know what she was talking about."

"Nor do you Miss," Sophie said, ever kindly as she led Tessa towards the next shop. "It is always that way. People meet me and my scar is the first thing that they see. I am used to it."

"You shouldn't be used to it," Tessa said. "And it's not everyone. Not the people who matter. It's not Gideon." Tessa stopped then, sure that she had crossed some sort of line. Sophie did not talk about Gideon to her all that much. But,

"no, it's not Gideon," Sophie said quietly, a small smile on her face. "He's quite unbelievably kind to me you know. He says that I'm…that I'm pretty."

"He really cares for you," Tessa said; it was not a question. She smiled at Sophie. "The question I must ask, of course…do you feel the same about him?"

Sophie hesitated, and for a moment Tessa felt she had offended the girl.

Hurriedly, she said, "you need not answer if you don't want to Sophie, my apologies, I was only-"

Sophie held up a finger to silence Tessa. "That's quite alright, Miss. Actually I…I would rather like to talk about it. I haven't so far, and I should think that if I do not, I may well explode." She was smiling, and her whole face changed; her scar becoming a beautiful imperfection rather than an unfortunate wound. She should smile more. But then, since Gideon had arrived at the Institute, she had, Tessa noted.

"I'm familiar with the feeling," she said, mouth twitching. "So do you?"

"Have feelings for Master Gideon? I…I believe that I do," Sophie said.

"Master Gideon? Sophie, surely you can call him simply by his first name," Tessa said reproachfully.

"He doesn't like it either, Miss," she said, " 'don't you call me Master, Sophie', he says. But I can't do it. He's so charming, and so kind. But there is no future for a Shadowhunter who dallies with servants."

"There is no future for a Shadowhunter who dallies with Warlocks either," Tessa said, remembering Will's words, how they used to cut her like a knife. "But I am marrying one. There _are_ no rules like that, Sophie- only invented reasons. Besides, Gideon loves you. He gave up his family to come and be with you."

"He gave up his family because he believed it to be the right thing to do," Sophie said. "He's not the kind to do reckless things. He's collected and careful. He's… all I ever wanted in a man." Her voice trembled slightly; she was not used to this; not used to revealing what she wanted, all her dreams.

They were inside the next shop now, walking between racks of different materials and expensive dresses, neither of them particularly engrossed in the shopping.

"Sophie, that's brilliant," Tessa said, and she sounded as though she truly meant it.

"Thank-you, Miss," Sophie said. "I must say, before I really…before, at the very least, I doubted Gideon. His intentions, the possibilities…I see things more clearly now."

"I am glad," Tessa replied, and Sophie looked sideways at her, the corners of her mouth turning up.

"And you?" she asked slyly. "About to be married. Through everything that has happened since you came to London. Yet you have found a home here."

"Like you have," Tessa said, and went on when Sophie opened her mouth to protest, "I know that it seems neither of us truly had a choice in the matter- being here, in such a situation. But I can't say that I mind it. I know the truth now of the world. And I have a new family."

"And Jem."

"And Jem," Tessa nodded, smiling. Sophie frowned.

"Is something the matter, Miss? You look rather as if…"

"As if what?"

"As if you are not entirely happy," Sophie said finally. "I understand that you're not- I mean, goodness, this business with Mortmain is enough to drive anybody mad with worry- but it's the wedding. You are barely looking at these dresses. You seem…preoccupied. If you'll forgive me, Ma'am." She added the last words in a hurry, as though she suddenly remembered that she was a servant, but it was Tessa who felt suddenly small, under a microscope.

"I _am_ interested," Tessa said, glancing about at the dresses nearest to her and gesturing towards the closest one. "I might take this one, in fact."

"That dress is white, Miss," Sophie said patiently, "you said you wanted a gold one."

"I… well, I don't pretend that shopping is an area of my expertise," she surrendered. "Or preference, really."

"But it's something else, isn't it," Sophie guessed. There was no judgment in her voice, only concern. "Tessa, is it Jem?"

"No!" she said immediately. "No, of course it isn't. I love Jem."

"Loving somebody does not mean that you necessarily wish to be married to them," Sophie said, and Tessa looked at her, surprised, and grateful.

"When did you become so wise, Sophie?"

"Not wise Miss. I merely speak from…my own heart, really."

Tessa nodded. "That is exactly it. In fact…" she hesitated. "Jem says that he wants to marry me. He says that the Clave will allow this. But what if it doesn't? I don't want Jem to leave the Nephlim for me. Yet, even if they do allow it, there will be those who look upon Jem with bad judgment because of me."

"Mr Carstairs won't mind 'em even for a second," Sophie reassured her.

"I know he won't mind," Tessa said. "That does not mean I would not…but nevermind me for a moment. You said that you spoke from your own heart. Do you not wish to marry Gideon?"

Sophie gasped. "Miss Tessa."

"Sophie, would it not be wonderful for the two of you? You aren't like me. You're mundane. That means that if the Clave would allow it, you could become a Shadowhunter. Isn't that what you want?"

Indeed. That was what Sophie wanted. It was in her dreams, at night, and during the day, when she swept the floors and kept the fires. Her dreams of being a Shadowhunter. A vision came to her then, flashes of a real dream, something that she desperately wanted. A wedding. Not Jem and Tessa's, but her own. Gideon's arm on hers, marks swirling up and down her own hands. Acension of a mundane bride.

"_If _the Clave would allow it," Sophie said, tearing herself out of her reverie. "I suppose, in a way, I would feel as you do, Miss. I wouldn't allow Mr Lightwood to compromise his reputation further by his relationship with a scarred servant."

"Sophie," Tessa said indignantly. "Do not speak of yourself in that manner."

"In the eyes of the Clave, Miss, that is all I am," Sophie said simply.

"Then the Clave does not matter," Tessa decided after a pause. Sophie looked at her then, startled.

"Well, it doesn't," Tessa said defiantly. Sophie laughed then, surprising her.

"You have a kind heart, Miss Tessa," she chuckled, shaking her head. "Now, that's quite enough of all that. We must return with a wedding dress, you know."

Tessa smiled a little guiltily and, for the first time since arriving in the store, directed her attention towards the rack of clothes immediately in front of her. Then, something glinting gold caught her eye.

Jem blinked at the sight before him, wondering what on earth he had missed while he was sleeping. Charlotte was standing in the hallway in frantic discussion with Consul Wayland, the Silent Brothers and the Inquisitor clustered nearby, conferring within themselves, muttering darkly. His heart skipped a beat when he noticed that Tessa's bedroom door was open, and it was at it's entrance that the Enclave members where gathered. Spotting Henry, glasses askew and hair sticking up as he waded on the edges of things with a worried expression, Jem made his way towards the group.

"Henry," he called urgently, "what's happening? Is everything in order? I thought Tessa was out shopping with Sophie. Is she-"

"Tessa," Henry said, sounding uncharacteristically grim, "is alright, Jem. At least, for the time being."

"What do you mean _'at least for the time being'_?" Jem demanded. If it were anybody else, he would have been more polite. More reasonable. But it was not anybody else.

_Tessa Gray_, Brother Enoch, to Jem's surprise- he hadn't been aware that he was listening-_ upon her return, is to be taken to the Silent City until such time that she can be questioned by the Council_.

"The Silent City," Jem echoed, and even to himself, his voice sounded faint, as though he were standing miles away. He was beginning to feel ill, his veins searing, demanding more of the drug, even though he had only just taken some more that very morning.

"Tessa has been charged with stealing, James," Henry explained, looking troubled.

"Stealing? That's out of the question. Tessa wouldn't do that. What are the grounds for such an assumption?" Jem's head was pounding.

Brother Enoch turned to face Jem, and it was then that an object became visible, fastened tightly to the Brother's robes. The Book of White. _This was found in the Shape-Changers chambers. It was hidden under the floor-boards. It would seem that she did not want it to be found. As you know, Shadowhunter, the Book_ of _White cannot be moved- it is meant for Nephlim only. _

Jem couldn't think; blood was rushing through his head, as it did when he was fighting. The kind of drowning feeling that gave Will bursts of adreneline. It made Jem feel sick.

"…but that was part of Mortmain's plan," he could hear Charlotte saying to the Inquisitor. Her hair was escaping it's clasp at the back of her head, and she was incredibly pale. "Brother Enoch was there, he can confirm this. During Jessamine Lovelaces' trial by the sword, she admitted that Mortmain would have had her hide the Book of White in Tessa Gray's room, in that exact place, under the floorboards, so that she would be arrested for it. It is obviously the doing of Mortmain or one of his automatons, but certainly not Miss Gray herself."

"You say that because you know her," Inquisitor Whitelaw said briskly, "she has gained your trust. Trust that makes you blind, Mrs Branwell. We are going to have to take the warlock girl to the Silent City for a few days in any case, before I can properly question her. If she is innocent as you say, then she will be returned to the Institute. Until such time, we cannot allow suspects to live in what is in fact a fortress for Shadowhunters. Not at such a time as this."

"But-"

"The Inquisitor is correct, Charlotte," Consul Wayland said. "I'm afraid that this is a serious offence."

"It is a serious accusation," Charlotte's voice rose.

"Indeed," Jem said, unable to remain idle for another moment. Inquisitor Whitelaw's sunken eyes narrowed; an under-aged Shadowhunter failing to address his company was bad form, but Jem could care less for courtesy now. "What warranted such an investigation to begin with? Why would it even occur to you to investigate the room of a guest to the Institute?"

"We received an annonoymous tip-off," Consul Wayland said diplomatically. Though at times he was intimidating, Michael Wayland was far more approachable than the Inquisitor with his icy demeanor. But Jem could barely pay him mind.

A tip off? But surely that could have only come from a resident of the Institute? Someone who had planted the book there- for Jem knew that Tessa had not taken it, as well as he knew his own name.

Suspicion. It was an unpleasant feeling, and one that Jem had, thus far, never felt it regarding any one of his family here at the Institute. But it was a different family now than it had been. Agatha and Thomas were dead, and Jessamine had been locked up. Contrary to its purpose, the Institute was not a safe haven anymore. And Tessa was the least safe of all of them.

Almost reluctantly, Jem looked over at Charlotte, a question in his eyes. She shook her head.

"I don't know, Jem. I just don't know." If Jem had not known her better, he would have thought she was about to cry. He wasn't the only one who knew that Charlotte Branwell had not cried for a long time. Henry, having finished conferring with Brother Enoch, made his way over to them and put his hands on Charlotte's shoulders, face unusually somber.

"Are you sure this is quite necessary?" he said. Inquisitor Whitelaw, with his streaks of grey in his brown hair gleaming in the witchlight, smiled coldly back.

"It is. Charlotte, when did you say the girl was due back?"

"Girl? You aren't talking about me, are you?"

A familiar voice drifted towards them in the corridor and Jem's throat tightened- but it was Cecily who rounded the corner.

"And who might you be?" Inquisitor Whitelaw said sharply. Jem doubted the Inquisitor was ever pleased to see anyone, but he still couldn't shake the temptation to step between he and Cecily, to shield her from his judgment.

"Cecily Herondale. Who's asking?" Cecily said, glancing from the Inquisitor, to Brother Enoch, and then skipped past Jem to look at Charlotte. "Nice gathering."

"What's going on- Cecily?" It was Will, following after his sister. Jem glanced at Will with an unexpected jolt; he wondered if Cecily had told Will that she had kissed him. But then, she didn't look upset, and Will wasn't regarding him with any form of accusation.

"We were going to go to the training room," Cecily explained to the Inquisitor.

"Irrelevant."

"Sorry. I thought you enjoyed shoving your nose into everything, so," Cecily shrugged.

"Cecily." Charlotte looked exasperated.

"Well, I did," Cecily said defiantly. "He's nosy. It's his _job_ to be nosy."

"Never mind that," Will said, saving Cecily from the glowering Inquisitor's response. "What's happening here? Why are we all gathered outside…where's Tessa?" His eyes narrowed, and he spun around to meet Jem's eyes.

It was one of those moments in which nothing was said, and yet Jem was able to translate information to Will through the silence. Jem couldn't say whether that was because they were parabatai or not, but whatever the reasoning, Will's eyes widened, and he looked to the book in Brother Enoch's hand for confirmation.

"You want Tessa," Will said, addressing nobody in particular. "That's ridiculous, you know. Jessamine told us-"

"We will take that into account," the Consul interrupted.

"The Book of White," Cecily said, eyes narrowing at the sight of the book. "That's not supposed to be moved, is it? What are you doing with it?" She demanded of Brother Enoch.

"Charlotte, Henry, do you normally allow for such nonsense? This is an official Clave operation and there are three under-age Shadowhunters wondering about asking questions," Inquisitor Whitelaw said in distaste.

"They don't," Will said frankly, "normally, our servants are wondering about asking questions as well. Mores the pity that the Clave does not seem to value the words of those who are not trained Shadowhunters."

"Rude, Herondale," the Inquisitor said. "So like your father was. I remember when he left us- similar words he had to say about how we live as Nephlim."

Will stood very still, his fists clenching. "Rude…like barging into someone's home unvited?"

"Apparently, Will, they were invited by someone," Jem said bitterly. At that, Will's eyes narrowed.

"Bloody hell, is there anyone here not secretly working for Mortmain?" he inquired.

"Henry for god's sake, put your hand down," Charlotte scowled, and Jem looked over in time to see Henry sheepishly lowering his hand from over his head. Inquisitor Whitelaw was glaring at him- glaring at all of them. Fortunately- or, unfortunately, really- anything that he might have been about to snap at them was cut short by the sound of a carriage pulling up outside, and the loud, slow creak of the Institute doors.

Tessa and Sophie had returned.

"I swear to you, I did not touch the Book of White." Tessa hoped that she did not sound as weak and shaky as she felt. She was sitting down, and was certainly glad for it- she felt sure that, as the Inquisitor stood before her, eyes immune to empathy. It had been surreal, so much so that Tessa couldn't even have said that she was properly angry or upset, when she and Sophie had entered the Institute, smiling and chatting about the day, only to be met with the sight of the Clave officials standing outside her room wearing stony expressions, Charlotte and the others gathered around as well looking troubled. She had looked at Jem for a moment, a question in her eyes, before Brother Enoch turned around, the precious book in his hands, answering her question for her.

Now, they were in the dining room, where Sophie was bustling around making tea for the guests, her smile venomous as she handed Whitelaw his tea. Idly, Tessa wondered if she had spat in it. The thought, at least, gave her a grim sense of amusement.

"That," Inquisitor Whitelaw said in response to her promise, "will be for the Silent Brothers to tell us. You are not a Shadowhunter- your word means nothing."

"Nothing to _you_," Tessa corrected him, and she saw Michael Wayland hiding a grin, as though she amused him. The Inquisitor, on the other hand, carried on as if he had bitten into a particularly sour lemon.

"Nothing to the _law_," he said, "which now, Shapeshifter, has you at its mercy."

Tessa was silent. She knew it was hopeless arguing with him. She was not a Shadowhunter- she did not even have a leg to stand on.

But Cecily was.

"The Silent City," she said, and Tessa looked over at her in surprise, "that's for criminals. For Shadowhunters who have abused our laws. Isn't it?"

"Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike- should they abuse the terms of the Accords," Whitelaw said with a disapproving air, as though Cecily really shouldn't be allowed to interrupt his business.

"But Tessa isn't a Shadowhunter or a Downworlder," she said. "So you can't really hold her to any of those laws anyway, can you?"

Everyone was staring at her then, Consul Wayland eyeing her thoughtfully. Even Brother Enoch seemed to be thinking, in his own, impassive way, and the Inquisitor, for once, looked almost hesitant. _Oh, thank you, Cecily, _Tessa thought. _Thank you. _

"Yes, I can," he finally decided, speaking over Will's undertone of cussing. "Until such time that the true nature of Miss Gray's curious existence is revealed, she will abide by our rules. She has been living in the Institute, with knowledge of our ways, for months now. We cannot allow her to live uncultured and unpunished for her crimes."

"But I didn't do anything," Tessa mumbled. She couldn't bring herself to look at her friends. She couldn't look at Jem- although she felt his eyes on her, felt their pain, their sympathy. He was as powerless as she was right now.

"If that is true, then you will be returned safely from the Silent City within a few days," the Consul said kindly. Tessa hesitated. Whether it was the Consuls' kind words, or the Inquisitors harsh ones, the message was the same. The message of power; inevitability. The choice that was left to her was in whether she was going to come quietly or not. She thought of Jem then, James Carstairs, not allowing anybody to see him take his yin-fen, doing so even though it was killing him, doing what he needed to and telling everybody to stop searching for a cure. There _was_ power in acceptance- Jem was proof of that. She took a deep breath.

"Very well," she said. "I will go to the Silent City."

"Miss," Sophie said, scurrying towards her, and Tessa turned around. The Inquisitor was waiting for her down the end of the corridor, impatient as ever, to take her to the carriage which would bring her to her cell. She remembered Jessamine, crouched over in a wall of cold, strange stones, and shuddered. That was going to be her soon. And she had done nothing to deserve it.

"It's alright, Sophie," she said, "you heard the Consul. I'll be able to come back when they realise that I never touched the book."

"That's not what I'm worried about," Sophie spoke in an urgent whisper. "It's _Mortmain_. It was his plan for this to happen. He wants the Clave to take you to the Silent City. Tessa, don't you see,_ it's a trap_."

"Jem told me once that the Silent City is guarded," Tessa said, more bravely than she felt. In all truth, every fibre of her being was screaming exactly what Sophie had just suggested. Trap. Sophie bit her lip.

"Just be careful, Miss Tessa," she said. Tessa smiled.

"I have to be back for my wedding, don't I?"

"You will be." It was Will. He had come to stand behind Sophie, and was looking straight at Tessa. Unwillingly, as if pulled by some external force, Tessa looked back at him. His fingers curled into his hands, his whole posture tense, jaw set. His eyes were a very dark blue. Tessa caught her breath, and Sophie chose the moment to incline her head and hurry away.

"Miss Gray," the Inquisitor called. "Have you quite finished saying good-bye?"

"Actually, she isn't," Will yelled back before Tessa could answer. She glared at him.

"Terrific. Now he's going to be put out with me for the journey," she said.

"I think he was already quite put out with you as it is, Tess," Will replied, the ghost of a smile touching his face. He was still staring at her in a way that made her feel most uncomfortable. There was too much feeling in it, too much concern in his gaze- it was not the way that one's best man should look at the bride. "In any case, you'll be back here soon. I'll get you out of there. I promise, I won't let Mortmain get you. I won't let you rot away in that horrid prison."

_I_. Not 'the Shadowhunters', or 'we', but Will himself.

"Where did Jem go?"

Will hesitated. "He wanted to say good-bye. He's just…he's not very well."

Tessa paled. "Is he going to be alright?"

Will nodded. "I'll take care of him, Tess. Please don't worry."

'Tessa, please don't worry. Soon it will all be settled.'

He had said that to her before. And then Thomas and Agatha were murdered, and Tessa herself was almost captured. And yet,

"I'm not worried, Will. I will see you all soon."

**just a bit of Wessa for you at the very end :P, but anyway: drama, drama, drama. Mortmain's old plan, brought to life? Coincidence? I think not! But then again, I wrote it, so... **

**who do you think gave the 'anonymous' tip off, then? R&R and tell me your theories :)**


	13. Chapter 12: Promises to Keep

**Hi guys! Thanks for following so far :). This chapters kinda a filler, but it's all leading up to big drama. Unfortunately right now I can't reply to guest reviews, but in general thank you for your feedback, and it was great to hear everyone's suspicions about the traitor in the Institute. I gather that the majority are pointing the finger at Cecily. Hmmm, I wonder, does this chapter lessen those suspicions, or does it make you reconsider other, more under-the-radar characters? :P **

After several minutes of loud knocking, Will gave the door a heavy thump, and it fell open before him, leading him into Jem's room. His parabatai was sitting on the floor leaned back against his bed, face in his palms, where he had been sitting, presumably, since Tessa had agreed to go to the Silent City. He had become suddenly dizzy, feeble, and Will had ushered him to his room at once, getting him away from the nightmare that was unfolding in the dining room.

"What was that infernal racket?" Jem groaned through his hands, not bothering to look up.

"That was the sound of someone knocking on your door," Will said. "We humans use it as a kind of code, meaning different things according to context. In this case, it meant, 'open the bloody door James'."

"Ah, is that what it meant?" Jem said. "I seem to have missed it."

"I should say," Will said. "James, are you planning on ever moving again? Because if you are not, I'd really consider striking a more poetic pose. The miserable-crouched-fool look isn't really working for you."

"They took Tessa," Jem mumbled, still not looking up. "They took her, and I did nothing to stop them."

"You couldn't have done," Will said. "We all tried to talk sense into those bastards. They wouldn't listen to any one of us."

"I couldn't even say good-bye to her," Jem went on. "I was too weak- too sick- to tell her to be brave. I left her alone." There was a fury underlining his every word, and every part of it was aimed at himself. Suddenly, he errupted into a fit of coughing. Will rushed to his side, falling to his knees, a hand on Jem's shoulder.

"Jem? James, look at me."

Jem kept his head down. Will sighed in exasperation.

"Don't be stupid, Jem-" he gripped Jem's chin with one hand and forced him to look up. And gasped. Jem's eyes were colourless- as colourless as they had ever been. Not bright silver in the way that they were after he took yin fen, but a dull, sick colour. His skin was alarmingly white, but perhaps the most alarming of all were the pupils of his eyes, rapidly dilating and shrinking as though he was going mad. "You haven't taken it, have you? What the hell is wrong with you, Carstairs?" Anger, tinged with worry, coloured his voice.

"I don't deserve to feel better," Jem said. "I let them take her away…how can I ask to be that girl's husband when I cannot protect her the way a husband should?"

"How are you going to protect her if you can't breathe properly, you moron!" Will said. Almost stumbling, he got to his feet and found the box of yin fen, opening it and forcing it towards Jem. "Take it. Go on, Jem, take it."

Jem shook his head. "Will, don't."

"No, _you _don't," Will said. "Listen to me. Tessa is strong. She will manage the Silent City for the night. Jessamine did it, for god's sake- with any luck, she will get a cell close by and be able to talk with her. But the Silent City is allowed to have visitors. Tomorrow you and I can go and see her- guard her cell, make sure Mortmain isn't up to anything. He wanted her to be there, we know that much. It was his plan. We can still make sure he doesn't get what he wants. And when they realise that Tessa is innocent, she will come back home."

"Will she even look at me when she does?" Jem said in a strained voice. "I must have disappointed her so much. I don't think I could bare for her to be disappointed in me, Will."

"All that matters," Will said quietly, "is that Tessa is safe. If you come tomorrow, she will not be disappointed. Do not worry- she would not avoid you. " Not _you_.

For a moment, Jem looked at Will, a pleasant smile forming on his face.

"When did you get so wise, my friend?"

"Did you just call me wise, Jem? Dear god, your health must be declining more rapidly than I thought. Here, your medicine, take it, take it all!" Will flared dramatically, but he held out the drugs to Jem with real insistence. This time, Jem took some of the sweet smelling powder between his finger tips, inhaling it deeply. Will relaxed as Jem's shoulders sagged and he started to breathe more easily. After a second pinch of the medicine, Jem waved the box away from him, and Will pulled the lid shut, eyeing Jem patiently.

"Better?"

Jem sighed. "Much. I should listen to you more often."

Will brightened. "Now look who's finally becoming wise."

Jem chuckled, but grew abruptly serious. "Perhaps I can start by listening to your plan regarding Tessa."

"It's not exactly a plan per say," Will said carefully, "we just need a way to make sure that we can guard Tessa inside the cell- make sure that Mortmain and his damned automatons don't launch an attack on her while we aren't there to protect her."

"I doubt the Silent Brothers would allow us to stay for long," Jem said. "Surely they will suspect that we plan to free her."

"Meaning that they won't leave us alone with her. They'll stay close." Will's eyes seemed to sparkle, and Jem grinned at him, catching on.

"Meaning she'll be all the more guarded."

"Meaning that Mortmain will be in for a bit of a fight if he swings by. It's flawless!" Will grinned giddily.

"It's as good a plan as any," Jem said after a moment's consideration. "But_ flawless_… we shall see."

Will growled. "Don't rain on my parade, Carstairs. I spent a good few minutes thinking that up."

"Do I look like rain to you?" Jem inquired.

"Look like it? Ugh, you smell like the ghastly stuff," Will said, holding his nose. Jem sighed.

"My, how oddly you do behave, Will," he said, the corner of his mouth twitching. "I don't know whether to be gratified or insulted that you call me your closest friend."

"When in doubt, assume the worst," Will said cheerfully.

"What an optimistic philosophy to live by," Jem marvelled, voice rich with sarcasm. "Alright, Will. It's a plan." He got to his feet. The drug was taking effect quickly, making his blood sing in his veins- making him feel alive and awake. "But I don't want to wait until tomorrow. Mortmain might have tried something by then. I'll ask Cyril to prepare a carriage. Meet you at the door in ten minutes."

"You're right," Will said. "any amount of time is too much where Mortmain is concerned. You take some more of the drug- you may need it."

"Where are you going?" Jem asked, as Will twisted the knob on his door, stepping backwards into the hallway. Jem saw Tessa's room, door still ajar, over Will's shoulder, and his chest tightened.

"I'm going to pick up some accessories for the mission," Will smiled a dangerous smile, mentally going through a list of the weapons he would be bringing along. "Ta ta, James."

"Oh, and Will?" Jem called, just as Will began to close the door behind him. He paused.

"Jem?"

"There's really no need to wake Charlotte and tell her what we're doing, is there?"

Will hesitated. The old Will would have scoffed at Jem for asking such a question. But he was different now, and he could afford to think of Charlotte, tiny and pregnant but still strong, still wanting to know what was going on, wanting to be apart of it. If they told her, she wouldn't stop them. She might even go with them.

"If she decided to accompany us, I fear it may be bad for her pregnancy," Jem said, following Will's train of thought. "And she has experienced an awful amount of stress already."

That decided him. "If we are gone for long, we will send her a letter," he said. "For now, Jem, it's just you and me."

Tessa stepped out of the carriage and shivered. The carriage itself had been surprisingly warm and pleasant, it's seats thick and comfortable. If it weren't for the three, impassive figures opposite her, she might have forgotten where she was going. Yet, surely enough, out of the corner of her eye Tessa noticed the familiar buildings and roads that signalled the road to the Silent City. Its title was frightening enough, but oddly, mixed in with her fear, Tessa felt herself breathe a sigh of relief when they arrived in the middle of the hauntingly cold arena of granite and bones. Part of her had been sure this was a trap. Part of her was convinced that perhaps the carriage would take her to the Dark House, or the old tea Warehouse- wherever Mortmain was hiding, waiting for her, although still she did not know why. She glanced around, taking it all in. Like the last time when she and Jem had paid Jessamine a visit, the darkness that engulfed the place was lit by basalt lamps, perched on the walls, high and low with seemingly no pattern whatsoever. It was enough light that she could see the imprint of stars set into the centre of the room- The Speaking Stars, Jem had told her. Jem. A cold hand fell on her elbow then, and Tessa resisted the urge to jump. It was Brother Enoch_._

_I will take you to your cell now._ Although it was a statement, there was a questioning air in his 'voice'- something rather a lot like sympathy, Tessa thought. She looked behind him and noticed that the carriage- still bearing Consul Wayland and the Inquisitor- was nowhere to be seen. They must have driven off as soon as she deported. She blinked heavily and nodded her agreement.

"Alright," she said, rather uneasily. The journey down the staircase was so very different to the last time she had made it. Last time, she had been a visitor. Last time, she had Jem with her. Last time, she knew that she was coming back up in no time at all. It had been easy to be brave back at the Institute- saying goodbye to Sophie, and to Will. Their reassurances- their promises- had made her feel safe. It had even been easy in the carriage. She could focus on anything- the lurch and turn of the wheels, the sliver of view from behind the curtains, even the calm face of Consul Wayland, had distracted her from despair. Now, with every step, the cold touch of a disfigured man on her skin, the air growing thicker with her descent, she began to panic, and the Institute felt more far away than ever.

Tessa almost tripped at the bottom of the stairs, but Brother Enoch steadied her before she fell.

_Are you alright?_ He asked, without any emotion. Tessa grunted and kept walking. The cells, bearing merely a bed and a basin, stretched out along long corridors on either sides, but, to Tessa's unease, the majority of them were quite empty. In fact, as they walked, Tessa could only make out one figure, oddly small and childlike, curled at the edge of one of the beds and shaking. She tried to remember where Jessamine's cell had been. If she could only see somebody else, someone alive and well- someone she knew- Tessa knew she would be alright here. Unfortunately, it seemed that Brother Enoch knew that too, and he wasn't intending on this visit being pleasant. He stopped her outside a cell in the middle of the corridor, with not a soul remotely near. Releasing his grip on Tessa, he reached his long fingers into his robes, pulling out an old key. Tessa stood very still, numb, as she heard the door creak open- if you could refer to it as a door. It more accurately resembled a cage, with metal bars lining the space, thick and cool to touch.

_Someone will come for you when you are needed._ Brother Enoch said, gesturing that she should enter the cell now. He held the gate open for her, waiting. Hardly daring to breathe, Tessa stepped inside and let him close the door.

It wasn't as cold here as it had been upstairs, but the humidity, the damp air, was worse. She looked up, trying to make out Brother Enoch in the shadows, but the brother, silent as his reputation would imply, had already gone. For a moment, Tessa blinked at the sight before her, taking in the horrible dark, the tang of metal in the air. Taking in her own sorry state. And to think that this morning, she had gone shopping for her wedding dress.

Letting out a half cry, half laugh, Tessa's hand flew to cover her mouth as she sunk to the floor, her skirts billowing up around her, and she leaned against her bedpost, not allowing the tears, prickling at the back of her eyes, to betray her. She_ would_ be strong.

_I'll get you out of there, I promise._ She remembered Will, the burning in his eyes, and knew that he hadn't been lying. She shook her head, thinking of what kind of crazy schemes Will might carry out to fulfil that promise, distracting herself.

Although she was far away from all other life in the cells, she could still hear them crying, screaming out, as it grew late. But that night, Tessa Gray fell asleep laughing under her breath, as she pictured Will, flanked with an army of cannibal ducks, strolling into the Silent City to rescue her. To bring her home for her wedding.

Jem had said that he would meet Will in ten minutes, but, judging by the impatient look on his face when Will arrived after that exact amount of time, he had made his way down to the door a lot faster than that. His eyes were bright silver again, and he looked healthy- as healthy as Jem ever looked- tarnished only by the worry etched into his face. Of course, Will was worried too. Even though he had said that Tessa was strong- and he really had meant it- no man liked the thought of the girl he loved alone in a dark, cold place. It was this, and paranoia, that had delayed him in the weapons room, and he had ended up strapping himself with a vast array of tools; maces, throwing daggers, and long swords. Jem looked him up at down and whistled.

"Gracious, Will. Are you planning on murdering Brother Enoch when we arrive? I did not know we would require so many weapons." He eyed the daggers, criss-crossed over Will's chest. Will looked down at himself, shrugging.

"Can't be too careful," he said. "I have spoken to Cyril. He's already gone out to get the carriage."

"Xenthos and Belios have their work cut out for them," Jem said, feeling slightly sorry for the two horses. "They rode Sophie and Tessa into town this morning as well."

"I'm sure they're completely up for it," Will said, to humour Jem more than anything. "Come on, let's get going, then." He held out a spare set of knives for his parabatai to take.

Jem nodded, moving from where he was leaned against the wall and taking the weapons. The two were just turning towards the door when they noticed a small figure standing in their way. Jem averted his gaze at once; Will's eyes merely widened in surprise, and irritation.

"Cecily?"

"Will," she said. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, and she was wearing Shadowhunter gear, runes etched over her arms. She looked amused and serious all at once. "I-uh-how long have you been-?" he began, but Cecily cut him off.

"Long enough to know you two aren't just sneaking off to get drunk." She eyed him suspiciously before turning to look at Jem. Since she had kissed him in the training room, Jem had been doing everything he could to avoid the girl, as much to protect her as he did to protect himself. He wanted to spare her the awkward indifference that would surely plague their encounters. Cecily was not so shy. "So, the Silent City, eh? I don't suppose anyone else knows about this."

"Will and I can handle this perfectly well by ourselves," Jem said politely. "We're only going to visit Tessa, really."

"Heavily armed for a visit, aren't you?" Cecily gestured at the two of them in suspicion. Will let out a sigh of exasperation.

"Get to the point, Cecy. What do you want?"

Cecily smirked. "In a hurry, are we?"

"Actually, we are in something of a rush," Jem stepped in before Will could say anything sarcastic.

"Alright, I oblige then." She rolled her eyes. "I was going to head to the training room anyway, when I walked in here and heard you two scheming. I only want to come with you, is all."

"Come with us?" Jem said, surprised. He didn't know what he had been expecting from her, but it wasn't this.

"Absolutely not," Will cut in. "Cecily, go to bed, now. You shouldn't even be awake, it's late."

"How old am I, William?" she said cuttingly. "I'll do what I like. And I would not like to go to bed, so don't bother asking me to. Listen, if this is just a visit, as you say, then I don't see the harm in my accompanying you. You know perfectly well that if you refuse I will merely cause a nuisance here, and I do hate to miss out of excitement. Besides, Tessa is my friend, you know. I don't exactly want to sit idily and wonder how she is in prison."

"I suppose that's true," Jem said, thinking of how she had refused to go back to the Institute when they were attacked at the picnic. "Will, do you think perhaps-?"

"I do think," Will said. "I think very much indeed."

Jem sighed. "Will, I wish to leave before the sun comes up, if you don't mind. Will you allow her to accompany us or not?"

"Allow?" Cecily said mockingly. "Goodness, it's easy to see who wears the pants in this relationship." Jem shot her a wounded look, and she grinned.

Will ran his fingers through his hair agitatedly. "So, the options are: Cecily stays here and annoys everyone, or, Cecily comes with us and possibly ruins our chances of guarding Tessa outside her cell?"

"I won't ruin anything," Cecily said. "I told you, I want to help. Jeesh Will. You just have a way of making a lady feel welcome."

"It's a talent I reserve specially for you," Will said, annoyed. "Oh, fine then. Come with us. But for god's sake, when we get there, lay low, let Jem and I do the talking, and do exactly as I say."

"Wise decision, brother," Cecily smiled sweetly. "Okay, let's go then. From what I heard before, poor Cyril's been waiting with the carriage for a good while now."

"And whose fault is that?" Will muttered, opening the door and letting Jem through. Cecily made to follow but Will grabbed her shoulder, holding her back for a moment.

"One last time, Cecy. Please, stay here?" he whispered in her ear, his breath tickling her ear.

"In your dreams, Will," was Cecily's reply. "You ought to know that. I'm a Herondale, after all." Will groaned, but let her go, closing the door behind her as he mumbled.

"I know."


	14. Chapter 13 Into The Dragon's Mouth

**A/N: Why hello there! 93 reviews, wooohhh! Thanks so much guys *sheds tear*. So, this chapter is a little bit short- sorry about that. I'm afraid it's not one of my best- serious writers' block over here, and writing action scenes isn't my favourite! You may have to bear with me for the next few chapters….:( . Basically, this is just Jem, Will and Cecily at the Silent City. Nooww, I'll just reply to some people! Hope you'll forgive this chapter **

HarryPotterForever24:** nice username! And thank you so much! I think that's probably one of the biggest compliments I've ever received . Hehee, great minds think alike! I wonder if the rest of my plot is also exactly what you think will happen? It'll be fun to find out!**

Amy:** new chapter it is! Sorry, it's kind of short . Thank you, though! It's my aim to stay as true to the books and characters as possible **

Guest:** aww, thank you! Uploaded . I might take a bit longer to upload from now on, though- I had some chapters pre-written, but they've all caught up with me now- aaah! :P**

Monica: **hey Monica! 2 reviews down? Ah, gotcha ;). I couldn't reply last time cos my internet decided to go YOLO and shut down on me so I couldn't see my reviews at the same time as writing my A/N. Grrr….but anyway, thanks so much, as always! Is it Henry, is it Cecily, is it me? This chapter might start hinting in the right direction…or the wrong one :P. Hope the plot lives up to your expectations!**

Guest & guest further down the list with the same gist of review :P: **Thanks for your reviews! Haha, yeah, Jecily is a little controversial :P I'm guessing you're not convinced? Well, we've still got a lot to learn about Cecily- Jecily isn't set in stone- or even really existent, as of now **

Genelia: **Thankyu! I hear ya, buddy :P Wessa is in demand! Well, can't promise anything in this chapter, but next chapter there's going to be a bit of tension. Sadly, the next proper Wessa moment is a while away- only cos it'll be quite dramatic ;). **

AC: **hello! Haha, yes she is. So stubborn… then again, persistence can be a good thing :P Thanks for reviewing!**

FloridaGirl: **hehee thanks! Ah, I love Jem and Will . Well, here's the answer to the Silent City question :P enjoy!**

**Not going to reply to the chapter 12 reviews, but thank you to everyone very much!**

**Disclaimer: I realise I haven't done one of these in a while, but unfortunately, during that time I didn't manage to buy the writes to the series. Cassie Clare owns everything. **

"Do you think she'll be expecting us?" Cecily remarked to nobody in particular. Cyril had dropped them off on the floor of the Silent City that was above the prisons, having gone off to find somewhere safe to keep the carriage. After Will had instructed him firmly not to leave it should anything unwarranted happen, he had left them to their own accords. For Cecily, this meant a lot of quiet exclamations of shock and admiration of the Silent City, and for Will and Jem, the impatience of wanting to get down the stairs to see Tessa as quickly as they could. The city was quiet, as usual, and gave no sign of anything that might have gone amiss, but the boys needed to see Tessa to be sure of that.

"Yes," Will said at once, as they began to make their way down the rocky stairs. He shivered as he did so. Will had been to the Silent City on business before, and he had been stricken then by the cold, dampness of the place, just as he was now. He had offered Cecily his hand to steady her on the way down, but she had just looked at him with her eyebrows raised, and his hand had fallen to his side, empty.

"What makes you say that?" she asked curiously, and Will heard her inhale sharply behind him, feet slipping on the rocks. He smirked in quiet satisfaction, whirling around to say 'I told you so' and help her up, only to find that Jem was already there, hands clamped gently on her shoulders, pulling her to her feet.

"Be careful, now," he was saying, and he caught Will looking at him and gave him a nod. Will shrugged and turned around again. Cecily, flushing ever so slightly, glared at the back of his head.

"You didn't answer my question," she reminded him. She was speaking more loudly than Will would have liked. It was not that they would be in an awful amount of trouble if they were found- they were Shadowhunters, and therefore could easily come up with some plausible excuse for being there- but all the same, he would prefer if the drama was minimal.

"Why would Tessa be expecting us?" Will repeated Cecily's question. "Well, why would she not? She knows we would never leave her there alone." I have told her enough times.

"I suppose she would expect it of Jem," Cecily said, and Will noted that she was putting emphasise on Jem's name for some reason.

"I don't suppose she would," Jem disagreed in a guilty tone, "after today."

"What happened today?" Cecily asked.

"Cecy," Will said sharply. Suddenly, there were footsteps ahead of them, moving rapidly up the stairs towards them. Too loud to be Silent Brothers.

"Who goes there?" a deep voice came echoed towards them.

_Mortmain_, Will thought, spitting in anger. Drawing Cecily and Jem behind him, he brandished his knives- only to blink in surprise.

The man that had come to block their way was not Mortmain, but a Shadowhunter. A young man, perhaps a few years older than Will or Jem. A young man in a uniform, with weapons strapped across him much in the fashion of Will himself. He held a torch up towards them, lighting up their faces, and his own. Up close, Will could see that he had a kind face, save for the strict expression he wore on it. His eyes were brown as his eyes, and was neatly combed backwards. When he saw who they were, he seemed to be as relieved as they were, his jaw loosening.

"And who might you be?" he said, clearly trying to maintain an authoritive tone.

"James Carstairs," said Jem, who saw no need to hide that from the boy. "and these are my companions."

"And what business might you have here, Mr Carstairs? Visiting hours are over, and only staff are allowed down at this time of night. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to turn around, Sir."

"Or what?" Will jumped in, eyes twinkling. "You're going to stop us?"

"And you are?"

"Will Herondale," he said, grinning. "Surprised you haven't heard of me, to be honest. Didn't they tell you we were coming? My, my, I don't suppose the Clave tell you poor guards very much. Or the Silent Brothers. Brother Enoch sent us ahead, you see. He's actually my father, you know. " Will's lies tasted ridiculous even in his own mouth.

"There are charges," the guard said, something in his tone hardening at Will's threat, "for breaking and entering, you know. Unless you want to end up behind the bars down here, you will take your companion and come back tomorrow."

Will was considering making use of his assortment of weapons to knock the man unconscious when Cecily spoke up from behind him, slipping out so that the guard could see her.

"That's companions, if you don't mind." She said, stepping even closer so that she now stood in front of Will, and two steps upwards from the guard. He blinked up at her, taking her in. Cecily was quite stunningly beautiful, after all. Will, of course, being her brother, had just never bothered to notice it. She fluttered her lashes at the man, giving him a small smile. "You weren't leaving me out on purpose, were you?" she said softly.

"I-uh, of course not, Miss. I did not know you were there. My apologies." He was speaking very quickly, quite obviously mesmerised. Cecily smiled at him again- not the ferocious grin that Will was accustomed to, but a different kind of smile. A seductive one. Will was suddenly very glad that he stood behind Cecily so that the guard couldn't see him retch.

"Aren't you going to ask my name?" she was saying, stepping closer and closer to the poor man.

"Your name?" he choked, staring at her. Cecily giggled, nodding slowly.

"Here, I'll tell you." She was standing on the step above his now, and, standing on her toes, she could just brush her lips against his ear. She began to whisper to him, murmuring so that Will and Jem couldn't hear her. It was all Will could do not to vomit for real, or, as he was itching to do, leap down and tear the guard away from his little sister. Jem was simply averting his eyes, feeling quite uncomfortable.

"What is she doing?" Jem hissed to Will, eyes unable to keep away from Cecily. He didn't like it, her being so close to that man, that stranger. It was alright for him to feel that way, he reasoned with himself. She was almost like a sister to him, too. It was natural that he wanted to pull the two apart. Natural that he wanted to protect her.

"Well, James, when mummy and daddy love each other very much…" Will whispered back, and Jem hit him over the back of the head.

"I mean why is she doing it?" Jem said. "Now, of all times?"

"Him, of all men," Will wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Ugh, blast it. I _cannot_ un-see this."

As if on cue, Cecily stepped back from the guard, a smirk on her face.

"I'm glad you understand," she said in a simpering, un-Cecily-like voice.

"It's no trouble at all," the guard said, stumbling aside numbly. The boy looked dazed, his hair now ruffled out of its neat attire. "So sorry to delay you all. I…I'll let you through at once. Take all the time you need. I'll see to it that no one bothers you."

Will fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Make sure it doesn't happen again," he said, passing by. Jem followed down the steps after Will, nodding his respect to the man as he went. Cecily lingered for a moment, running her hand over the man's shoulders, and Jem only just caught what she was saying.

"I'll see you later then, Marc." She waved her fingers at him as she followed after the two boys.

Will glared at her when she approached them. "What the blast was that?"

"It worked didn't it?" she said, grinning to herself. "Don't tell me you've never used that approach before, Will."

Will scowled. "I prefer violent negotiations."

"I like my way better," Cecily objected. "Less death, more love."

"What happened to you, Cecy? I swear, sometimes you act like you're still a little girl, but really-"

"Will," Jem said sharply. "Let's focus on finding Tessa, shall we?"

Will fell silent, but Cecily didn't. As the boys pulled Witchlights from their pockets and scanned the corridor for any flicker of humanity, the sound of breathing, or crying, anything that would lead them to Tessa, Cecily kept talking cheerfully.

"See, Jem agrees with me, so I must be right."

"Jem does not agree with you," Will said, talking to Cecily without looking at her. His eyes searched for a familiar form or shadow.

"Indeed, he doesn't," Jem admitted.

"Why not?" Cecily said grumpily.

"Because-" Will began, but Cecily shook her head.

"I was asking Jem."

"Because a pretty girl should only be that close to a man she loves," Jem answered, and although he wasn't looking at her, Cecily fixed her gaze on him.

"And what if there is no man she loves?"

"Then she should wait to find him."

Cecily looked over at him with a most curious expression on her face, and was about to say something when a loud, familiar voice cried out.

"No. Will! Will if you're there, run. Whoever is with you- get out of here, it's a trap!"

It was Tessa.

"Tessa!" Will bellowed, starting to run, Jem and Cecily flanking him on either side. "Where are you!"

"Run, Will, ru-" there was a muffled noise and Tessa was cut off.

"Oh, god," Jem exhaled, running even faster. Cecily, fast as she was, found herself falling behind, and Will turned around to yell at her to hurry up.

That was when he saw the first automaton.

It came from behind her, the metal shining in the darkness. It wasn't well concealed behind a human mask like some of the others- it was all cogs and clockwork.

"CECILY," Will shouted, and he was sprinting towards her, a seraph blade in one hand and a throwing dagger in the other. She had been running after he and Jem, and, upon seeing him turn around, paused for a moment of confusion. That moment was all the automaton needed. Within seconds it's metal arms enclosed around her, lifting her up, and she let out a piercing scream. Will's eyes flashed with fury, and, with a mad yell, he charged towards the creature.

Jem was now at least several hundred metres away from them, searching frantically for Tessa, calling out her name. He hesitated, glancing back at them, but he knew that Will would take care of Cecily, and concern for Tessa spurred him onwards. He felt sick to his core. He was right- they had all been right- this was a trap set by Mortmain.

But he only saw the one automaton. Perhaps he could still save Tessa. A flash of silver pulled him sharply to the moment. Jem hissed under his breath, naming his blade as he threw a shot at the creature, not knowing where he had hit it. As soon as he had knocked it out of the way, he kept running.

"Tessa!" he shouted hoarsely. His heart was beating quickly, but he had taken enough of the drug for him to remain steady, remain focused. "Where are you, Tessa?"

A sharp pain lanced from his lower back then, and he stiffened, spinning around. The automaton he had beaten back had caught up with him, this time joined by two others. Three. Four. Jem spun, searching for a gap between the automatons, finding a small one, and diving for it, skidding across the floor. He winced in pain as his ankle hit something solid, and he felt the vibrations on the floor as the automatons chased systematically after him. It was then that he saw Tessa.

She didn't speak- she was gagged by what appeared to be a scrap of dark material, but her eyes were wide with concern, and he could hear her muffled cries. She was on her knees, halfway out of a cell with it's door brutally bashed opened, held still by two automatons, and a long cut ran along her head, blood dripping from it onto her nose.

"Tessa!" Jem yelled, and he looked into her eyes, telling her silently everything that he didn't have time to say. I came for you, I love you, please be alright. And then he cried out in agony. The nearest automaton had stepped on his leg where he scrambled across the ground, crushing through the bones. Tessa, where she was held, shook against her captives, crying out in protest. Her eyes were shining now- perhaps with tears? Jem had no time to find out. He rolled onto his back, fighting it off with a whirl of his blade. He succeeded, but only with the blade snapping into shards, rendering him more defenceless. Struggling to think, Jem's hands went to his chest, seeking the mace that Will had given him. Jem had never liked maces as a weapon, really- too ruthless and bloody for him- but now, he was ever so glad for it. Ignoring the pain, Jem staggered to his feet, using his good one to balance, as he prepared to swing it at the group of four surrounding him. _One._ Two of them had been beaten back, ricocheting across the stone floor. _Two._ Sparks flew off metal as he caught one of them at the shoulder. _Three._ He had pushed them all back enough that he had time. His leg throbbed and burned as he made his way to Tessa, snarling as he fought off the automatons on either side of her, swinging the mace again. Tessa winced and he realised that they were clutching her tightly, bare metal digging into her skin.

"Tessa," he choked out, eyes bearing into hers. There was a crash, and he saw Tessa's eyes widen at the sight behind him: it was Will, held down by what seemed to be a small army of automatons, thrashing and covered in blood. Squinting his eyes, Jem could just make out another silver shape- most likely the automaton carrying Cecily's unconscious form, he could not be sure from this distance. Dread and hope filled Jem all at once, and he swung around, handling the mace just as Will always did, but he had never had the heart to- savagely and without caution. It whistled as it cut through the air, but not so loud that he didn't hear Will's shout of warning. He turned around to face whatever was waiting over his shoulder, but not quickly enough. There was a sharp pain at the back of his head, and red light burst colourfully in his line of vision. Before he fell backwards, unconscious, he felt cold metal catching up his limbs.


	15. Chapter 14 Contradictions

**Vas Happenin'! (anyone see what I did there? :P) wow guys, over 100 reviews! I LOVE YOU ALL **

**So, to say thanks for following the story, here's a little teaser for you: I've made up my mind about who's going to end up with who, and this will all end with a wedding :P not telling whose, though. **

**So, I said you might have to bear with me for the next few chapters, and I stand by that now. This isn't one of my best, and there's times in writing this that I confused myself, which is never a good sign. I'll just say first to clear up any unnecessary confusion that Tessa is completely unaware at this stage that Cecily was ever at the Silent City- she only saw Will and Jem, so that's why she never mentions Cecily, in case it seems weird of her. Hope you….uhh….enjoy? It will get better eventually though, promise! :P**

**Now to my lovely guests:**

Guest: **hahaha, I actually hadn't thought of that, but now you mention it, it would be kinda hilarious. I might slip that into the story somewhere :P thanks for the idea, and thanks for the review!**

FloridaGirl: **muahahaa, I love leaving cliffhangers :P I'm really glad you think the writing's good though! **

Harrypotterforever24: **haha, agreed, Harry Potter is hands down completely amazing. Thanks for your feedback- you're exactly right, although we all secretly/not-so-secretly read the books mostly for the love triangles, (or squares :P) it can't be prominent in every chapter. This is another one of those, although it'll pick up a lot next chapter with the whole love triangle ;) and yes, I quite like Cecily's methods too hehehe.**

Genelia: **thank-you again! here's the next update! Hope you likies!**

Monica: **hehee I'm evilly glad that it was all unexpected xD it sure seems like Mortmain's got the upper hand so far, but where there's a Will, there's a way….awful pun intended :P. As for the Silent Brothers and guards…well, you'll find out about the guards a bit later on, but the Silent Brothers were just…uhm….they were off their shifts and had all gone out to hit the clubs for the night? :P thanks for the review again! Heere's the next chapter. **

Tessa woke up on a bed- and quite a magnificent one at that. It was certainly larger than the one at the Institute, and remarkably comfortable, baby blue sheets drawn up around her so that she did not feel the cold. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she saw that the rest of the room was just as extravegant. There was a rich wooden wardrobe boasting a full length mirror near the foot of the bed, a vanity table complete with several different hair brushes, combs, and pins beside it, and a marble washbasin in the corner. The walls were pale blue, addorned with a tasteful selection of artworks, all of nature, and beautiful things- all in colours of grey, blue, green, and pink- the colours of London. Best of all was a shelf of books beside her bed. If she squinted, she could make out the titles of all her favourites.

It was then that she began to wonder why.

With a hammering heart, the memories of the night before came flooding back to her. She remembered her own hope- her own gratitude, when she had heard familiar voices down the corridor. She remembered feeling surprised that Will had kept his promise after all, and then feeling surprised at her own surprise, because of course he had meant what he said. And then she remembered the flash of silver that she might not have noticed had she not been on red alert for it, and the iron grip of metal enclosing all four of her limbs and halting her speech, dragging her from her prison into what she thought, surely, would be a much less pleasant one. The Magister's prison. Looking around now, confusion numbed her suspicions. This looked like a rich woman's chambers, not a cell. Perhaps, despite everything she had seen before she blacked out, against all odds, Jem and Will had managed to defeat the automatons and get them all out of there? Or maybe they had sent for help, and Gideon and the others had saved them? She hadn't seen anybody aside from the parabatai, after all- they might have been hiding close by. But then, she would be back at the Institute. And she would not be alone.

She might have jinxed herself with that thought, because the door handle curled then, and a maid came bustling in, complete with a silver tray of tea and toast. Tessa stared at it as though it were Nate back from the dead.

"Morning Miss," the maid said, voice very soft. She had a wide smile on her face, but Tessa did not know how genuine it was. Cautiously, she slid up against the backboard of the bed.

"Where am I? What's your name?" She had just woken up, and her voice was unnusually hoarse from shouting to Jem and Will. The memory of Jem, leg crushed, pain in his eyes as he twirled a mace, came suddenly back to her then, and she bit her lip in guilt. It was because of her that he was down there. She had gotten him hurt. "Where are my friends?" she added, more brutally than the poor maid probably deserved. But she appeared unshaken.

"You are in the Magister's home. My name is Susie. Your friends are safe." She answered systematically, all without dropping her smile. Tessa decided that it must have been a fake one- part of her job description, she guessed.

Tessa shivered. "The Magister? I'm at his house? Where is that? Are we still in London? Where is he?"

"I cannot tell you where we are, Miss," Susie said. "But the Magister is here, and he would like to see you. As soon as you have eaten, I will send for him."

"Oh, no," Tessa felt queasy. "Susie- please, listen to me. Please help me. The Magister...he's planning something. Something bad, and...what are you?"

It was the first time Susie looked remotely surprised.

"What am I? Whatever do you mean, Miss?"

"You're not a Shadowhunter," Tessa eyed her, talking quickly, "you're not a warlock. You're not a Vampire. Are you a werewolf? A faery?"

"I have the Sight," Susie drew herself up. "I am human, Miss. I am not a creature of magic. Thank God for that."

"And yet you work for the Magister," Tessa said incredulously. "Do you know what he's doing? He's killing mundanes, having them murdered to build those awful metal creatures. He's planning something dreadful, and I don't know why, but he needs me for it. Please, Susie, don't let him see me. Tell me where my friends are, tell us how we can get out. I am...I am begging you, do you understand?"

At that, Susie laughed. Tessa looked at her, shocked more than anything.

"Of course I know what he's doing," Susie said, still chortling. "In fact, Miss, I'd wager I know a fair lot more than you do. I know what he's planning. It isn't all as dark as you make it out to be. Besides, he's human. He's not a...a _thing, _like some of the other odd sorts I've seen. Really, you are behaving as though you're some kind of tortured prisoner- but look at you! Look at where you are!" she gestured at the massive bed that Tessa lay upon. "You're better off here, if you ask me."

Tessa hesitated. The Dark Sisters had said it, Nate had said it, and now so was Susie. The Magister didn't want to do her any harm. He wanted to give her everything. Sitting in this elaborately decorated room, her favourite novels an arm's reach away, for the first time, Tessa began to believe that.

She swallowed hard. "He is to see me, then?"

"After you have had your tea," Susie gestured at the tray that she had perched on Tessa's lap. Tessa looked down at the contents of the tray. It wasn't excessive in quantity, but the toast was made of thick bread, and the tea was in a fine china cup. Somehow, Susie had managed to make the meal fancy. But Tessa's stomach was too full of fear for her friends to have any room for it. She took the tray and set it firmly on the bedside table.

"I will eat later," she said. "If the Magister wants to see me, then he will see me now."

Susie looked down at her, brow wrinkling in confusion, but "I will go and fetch him, then."

"No," Tessa said decisively, rolling out of the bed and standing up. She was still wearing the dress that she was taken to the Silent City in, shredded and bloodied as it was. She was glad for it; amongst this room of pretty things, it was a reminder of the Magister's true forces, of how dangerous he was. "I will go with you, to him."

Susie looked at her for a moment, then hesitated. "Are you sure you do not want to eat first?"

"I am positive," Tessa said.

"It is only that...that is to say, I don't know that he will pass on such luxuries...should you upset him." Tessa shivered at her words, suddenly unsure of herself. In the end, she took a sip of tea and, in a most unlady-like manner, hid the toast amongst her skirts, bringing it with her. Susie wrinkled her nose, but seemed to approve of her decision as she inclined her head, gesturing for Tessa to walk ahead of her down what appeared to be a brightly lit and decorated corridor with tall, marble pillars, candle light- so dim and mundane in comparison to the witchlight that Tessa had become accustomed to- and works of art adorning the walls, much like her carefully furnished bedroom. Even though she tried not to, a glimmer of hope shredded through her again, almost painfully, as she imagined. Imagined walking down and meeting Mortmain and finding that this had all been a misunderstanding. Finding that Will and Jem were sitting at a long table, completely well, smiling at her. That everything would be okay. Swallowing hard, she kept walking.

"Jem?" Will's voice was coarse as he whispered, squinting into the dull light. "James, are you there?" He shifted his weight, ignoring the throbbing bruises patterned across his body, grabbing hold of one of the metal bars which enclosed him, pulling himself to his feet. He was in an enclosure- for want of a better word. A compact room with metal rods making up the four walls and the ceiling, a grey cement forming the ground. There was a silver bowl on the ground holding water in it, and another which was empty- much like the bowls Jem had fixed for Church.

"Jem? Tessa?" he tried again. "Cecily?"

Cold fear flooded through him as he tried to rid himself of the memory of Cecily, limp in the arms of an automaton, Tessa screaming, Jem fighting back...it was the last thing he had seen before darkness took over. A feminine cough broke Will out of his revererie, and he blinked opposite him, finally spotting a hunched shape on the floor of the bared cube opposite him.

"Tessa?" he said desperately. "Tess, is that you?"

The person in the cell groaned, and a string of welsh curses followed suit. Will sighed.

"Cecily."

"Will?" she choked out, and he could see her scrambling to her feet, wrapping her fingers around the bars and leaning towards him. "Is that you?"

"No, it's the ghost of Christmas' past," Will said bleakly. "Cecy, did they hurt you?"

"No," she said, a little too quickly. Will grimaced, looking over at her in the dim light. He couldn't see much, but the little vision he had told him that she was lying. A dark bruise circled one of her eyes, while a deep red scratch started at her temple and ended at her chin. It shook Will more than he could say to see her like that; his little sister. He remembered seeing her with grazed knees and elbows, foolish wounds from her foolish adventures around the property in Wales. There was nothing at all foolish about the injuries she bore now, nor the fierce resilience with which she treated them.

"Do you have a stele with you?" he asked. "Charlotte taught you how to draw a healing rune, didn't she?"

"I don't need a healing rune." Was her defiant reply. Will shook his head, hand falling to his own pocket. It came as no surprise to him that the many weapons that had been strapped across him were now gone, leaving him in only a loose white tunic and pants. Even his shoes had been taken- the Angel knew why. Perhaps Mortmain was seriously lacking in fashionable boots and had taken to mugging them off bystanding Shadowhunters? Somehow, Will guessed the mundane's intentions were something more sinister.

"They've taken my stele," he said. "Those stupid metal-"

"Will," Cecily interrupted him, "where are we?"

He hesitated, looking around. "By what I can deduct..."

"You don't know, do you?"

He swallowed his pride for a moment, somewhat reluctantly. "No. But I can guess. I can guess who's kindly decided to accomodate us, anyway."

"Mortmain," Cecily said bitterly. Will inclined his head.

"Do you know where Jem and Tessa are?" she asked. Will took one last look at the visibly empty enclosures around them, and when he shook his head Cecily turned away from him, head in her hands. Will's heart clenched as he heard her sniff slightly, like she was about to cry. He wanted to go to her, to wrap his arms around her. He strained against the bars uselessly, just looking over at her, not knowing what to say.

"I wish I had gone home when you told me to," she said, after a long silence. She wouldn't look at him, and he knew why. She was proud, Cecily- she didn't like admitting that she was wrong- didn't like saying sorry or thank-you, relying on anything or anyone.

"I don't," he said, surprising even himself with his words. He remembered his conversation with Magnus, and kept going. "Do not misunderstand me, I hate that you are here now, in trouble. But I'll get you out of here, Cecy, and when I do, I want you to come back to the Insititute with me. I want to be your brother. I'm sorry that I've forgotten how. But I want to learn again."

She did turn around then, blue eyes flashing. "Really, Will?"

"No, I just composed that awfully sentimental speech for fun. It's just something I do in my spare time, make emotional declarations," he said, unable to help himself. Cecily rolled her eyes, but she was smiling a little now.

"Well, I suppose we ought to get out of here first, oughtn't we?" she said. "Or you'll never be able to learn."

"I'll find a way," he vowed. He thought of Tessa then, of the promise he had made her as the Inquisitor had taken her away. A hard lump formed in his throat, and he glared through the bars. He didn't much like to much promises, for fear that he would not be able to keep them. If Mortmain had made him break this one, Will would make sure that he paid for it- would make sure with every fibre of his being. He looked at Cecily then, now pacing in her cage, looking at the ground, a frown etched into her forehead. After all he had said to her, she had forgiven him. After all he had done, she had been willing to give him a second chance, without even a promise required.

"Cecily?" he said, after a moments silence, and she glanced over at him, straining against the bars.

"Yes?"

"I am glad you are here," was all he said, and he hoped that she would understand.

Mortmain was facing the fireplace when he heard footsteps approaching the door. The first set, he knew, belonged to Susie. She was a boring sort, he mused, all orderly and plain- so oblivious to the Shadow World, blinded by her fear. She was another human who had worked for his firm. She had begun to think that something was horribly wrong with her oneday when she had Seen a man become a wolf as he left the building once, late at night, when everybody was supposed to be gone. Realising that she had the Sight, he had stepped in, painting terrifying pictures of rogue werewolves, hungry vampires, deceiving Faeries and raging Warlocks. Most of all, he had told her of the merciless Shadowhunters. From then, the girl had been wrapped around his little finger, happy to serve, to do anything he wanted- if only for the reassurance that none of these big bad monsters would ever hurt her. But today, he paid her no mind. Today there was another girl. A girl who had deceived him and pretended to be dead. A girl who had never-ending questions, but asked all the wrong ones. Tessa Gray, his fiance from the moment she was born- not that she knew it. Although his sources told him that very soon, she was to marry another. A Shadowhunter. He hissed under his breath, even as the door creaked open, and Susie's gentle voice announced their presence.

"As you have asked, Tessa Gray is here to see you, Magister."

Instead of launching to his feet and storming towards the two of them, he simply stayed where he was, raising his voice.

"Very well, Susie. You may depart now. Leave Miss Gray and I alone."

He heard some hesitation then, and wondered with some amusement whether Tessa had grabbed Susie's arm, stopping her from going- whether her eyes were wide and begging. She didn't want to be left alone with him. He knew why. Over the years, he had come to realise that people did not like it when you knew more about them than they did themselves. And he knew more about Tessa Gray than anybody in the world.

"Aye, Sir. Call for me if you need anything else."

He waited for the door to close. And then he turned in his chair, eyes resting at last upon the dark haired girl in the room. She was standing almost completely against the door, pressed against it, as though to get as far away from him as was possible. Her eyes were defiant, cautious, as she met his gaze, in such a way that it made his heart ache. After everything that the Shadowhunters had done to his family, to he himself, the terrible familiarity of her eyes still had the capacity to remind him that he was still human, heart still beating, even in his world of metal and cogs. He hated her for it. Not Tessa, of course, that would be foolish- no, he hated her, the one she reminded him of.

"You gave me quite a scare," he spoke at last, when it seemed apparent that she wouldn't. "Changing at the last minute, am I right? Clever, I must admit. But you didn't hide your tracks very well. Not a few days later, word reached me of the truth- that you were still alive. One of the happiest days of my life, Miss Gray."

Tessa stayed rigid. "Where are my friends?"

"You mean the Shadowhunters who were with you?" he did not bother masking his dislike, but kept his polite smile plastered to his face. "They are being taken care of."

"Taken care of how? Where?"

"That, my dear, is for me to know," he said, eyes twinkling. "I did not bring you here to talk about them."

"Then why did you bring me here? To marry me?" Tessa demanded, visibly trembling. He grinned widely at that.

"My, how forward of you. Well, if you insist-"

"Don't patronize me," she interrupted him, voice credibly stronger. "I want to know why you've done this. I know it was your idea to have me accused of stealing. You intended for me to end up here. I asked you questions the last time we met, and you answered none of them. I want those answers now."

"No," he said, shutting down every hint of strength that she had just displayed. "You have no right to demand answers of me now, Miss Gray. You disappointed me, delayed everything I had planned for. If you want answers, then you will do exactly as I say."

"What do you want from me?" she said, and the fear in her voice was music to his ears, because fear was close to respect, and he had so wanted respect from someone like her once. Recognition.

"Change."

The command rang out in the room, met by a visible shiver and frightened eyes.

"N...no," she said, as firmly as she could. Since she had arrived, that preditory glaze in his eyes when he looked at her had her rooted to the spot, paralysed in fear, but thoughts of the Institute, and her friends held captive somewhere, kept her strong.

"Notice how my voice didn't go up at the end- not a question, Miss Gray," he said, voice coolly pleasant. "You will Change- now."

"Into who?" She was trembling. "Who, and why?"

"Ask me no more questions and I'll tell you no more lies." He reached into his jacket pocket, drawing out a familar white hankerchief and holding it out to her, extending his arm to it's full length. She did not reach out to take it, and, with an impatient scoff, the Magister reached forward and molded her hand around the fabric, shaping them as if they were clay. That was what the Dark Sisters had told her she was, Tessa remembered with a start. When they had first taught her how to Change, they had willed her to think of herself as formless clay. Mortmain held her hand still around the hankerchief for a moment, to be sure that she had a grasp of it, and his hands were so human, warm and rough, that it made her shiver.

"There," he said, sounding pleased. "Far easier this, way, is it not? Far better that you cooperate with me, my fiance."

"You are not my fiance," she said, not as fiercely as she wanted to. Any attitude that she felt inside simply failed to translate into her words as she said them, prompted, she thought, by Mortmain's beady black eyes, fixed on her with a sickening hunger. Although, glancing down at the fabric in her hand, she knew better than to think it was a hunger for her at all.

"Yes, I had heard of your engagement. James Carstairs? I must say, the betrayal is quite stinging, Theresa. To think that you would be unfaithful to me with him. Weak, he is. So vulernable, reliant on that ghastly drug all the time. It's a wonder he ever proposed to you, given the circumstances. Mores the pity..." he trailed off, sounding uninterested.

Tessa's heart was pounding. "Jem isn't weak," she spat. "How did you know all of that, anyway? Who is it that planted the book? Who's been telling you all these things?"

"Miss Lovelace was most helpful in relaying information," Mortmain said, but Tessa was not foolled.

"Miss Lovelace is in the Silent City," she said. "She could not have told you of our engagement."

"Touche," Mortmain said, chuckling. He took a step closer to her. "That's another thing about Shadowhunters. So easy to manipulate...they'll do whatever it takes to get what they want. Anything, no matter how morally deficient."

"Morally deficient," the words were thick on her tongue. "Like holding a young girl captive and exploiting her? Like sending metal monsters to retrieve her, and hurting her friends-"

"Like dawdling and talking back in superior company?" Mortmain mused, cutting her short. He looked down at her hand in frustration. "You're holding it now- why are you not Changing?"

Tessa looked at him incredulously, heart fluttering with hope. "You don't know how this works?"

"Of course I know how it works," he said crossly. "You-" suddenly his face was very red, eyes bulging, and he grabbed her shoulders firmly with both hands. "You unimaginable little fool," he spat. "You will do as I say or you will suffer the same fate as your friends will- you will watch them die if you don't Change." He shook her hard.

Tessa quivered, the magnitude of his statement sinking in. Die. She thought of them, the parabatai who had come to save her.

"Jem," she whispered, all the fight leaving her body even as he shook her more. "He hurt his leg at the Silent City."

"Did he now? I wasn't aware," Mortmain said, feigning interest. Tessa didn't have the energy to scowl at him.

"The yin fen," she said slowly, piecing it together, "you have it. I know you do. Will saw the werewolves who work for you in the ifrit den, buying it by the ton."

"And now the young lady catches on," Mortmain breathed. "Basically, my dear Theresa, this is the way of it: you will do exactly as I say- Change into whoever I want you to be- or your precious fiance doesn't get his medicine. And we both know what happens then."

His face was sickeningly close to hers, breath smelling of raw meat. It was all she could smell, too, blocking out everything else- it was all she could comprehend anymore. Everything was buzzing, her senses spiralling, rage and horror gathering in her heart more rapidly than she had ever thought possible. Unable to do anything else, she looked him in the eyes and exhaled, one word escaping her lips as she did.

"No."

**What do you think? Love it, hate it- hate Mortmain, hate Tessa, hate Cecily, love Will? (note: hate Will is not an option because…well, it's WILL.) Let me know! Review, follow, favourite, PM! **

**P.S: sorry if this chapter wasn't too great. The next one should be better- a lil' bit of Wessa and a lil' bit of…Gophie? What's Gideon/Sophie's ship name? XD**


	16. Chapter 15: Ultimatums

**Hi guys! Haha, I left you on a bit of a cliffhanger there. This chapter is kinda short- next update will be longer- and you'll see what's going on at the Institute. Thank-you to all the people who've followed, favourited , or reviewed . Again, my computer is being sassy and refusing to let me see my reviews as I write this, so I can't reply to the guest accounts, but thank-you for your brilliam support xD (shout-out to the people who got the 'amazayn' before- I LOVE YOU.) Hope you like the chapter! It may contain slight traces of Wessa.**

Mortmain blinked at her for a moment.

"What?"

"I won't Change," she said quietly. Then she looked at him squarely in the eyes and said it again, firmly. "I won't Change, and I won't do as you say. I think I am worth more to you than blackmail, _Magister_. And I think you know that it is hopeless- that if you dared to anything to hurt Jem, I would never do what you wanted. You claimed that you didn't want to hurt me. Hurting Jem would hurt me."

"You would let me kill him for your pride?"

"There is more to life than not dying," Tessa said softly, remembering what Jem had told her once she had learned of his condition. "But no, of course, that is not what I am saying. I want to see Jem first. I want to see him, and to know for certain that you are indeed giving him the drug. You see, Mortmain, I remember the last time you manipulated me. You had me do everything you wanted, even indirectly, through the Dark Sisters by telling me that you would kill Nate if you didn't. I will not be fooled like that again."

"Nathaniel was working for me," Mortmain said, barely containing his temper now.

"I want to see Jem," she said, ignoring him. "I want to see him- and I want to see Will."

Mortmain's eyes were blazing then with the kind of fire that could only be destructive.

"Well, your wish is my command, Miss Gray," the venom in his voice was raw.

So it came as no surprise to Tessa that moments later she found herself being dragged along concrete ground through the grounds of some other room by an automaton, Mortmain trailing behind, and blank grey cement meeting her from the ceiling, walls, and floor- so very different to the tasteful brightness of the rooms before. These plain corridors that seemed to go on forever getting narrower and narrower, lit only by dull candles, nothing compared to the brilliance of the witchlight at the Institute. She was faintly aware of the metal digging into her arm, the cuts and blisters it was making, but she didn't care.

_Will. Jem. Jem-_

"Will!" she cried out. The corridor had just widened to reveal a figure leaning against tall bars, black hair catching the shadows. He turned around with a start, eyes meeting hers, and ludicrously, despite everything, she felt her heart catch.

"Tessa," he whispered hoarsely, eyes trailing down to look at the Automatons' grip on her arm, the blood that was starting to well there. A scowl captured his features.

"Let go of her," he spat at it, but the metalic creature did not respond, out of purpose or out of oblivion, Tessa couldn't be sure.

"Will- are you alright, Will? Are you hurt? Did they-"

She was speaking so quickly, so intently, to Will that she barely noticed the feminine voice that called over to her.

"Tessa?"

She whipped her head around- for the automaton was already shoving her further into the room, towards the cell directly opposite Wills', and beside-

"Cecily?" Tessa was incredulous, numb. And then she felt the guilt. "I didn't know you were here. I thought only Will and Jem had gone to the Silent City. Oh, Cecily I had no idea!" She gazed over imploringly.

"You didn't see me," the girl said, waving off the apology behind Tessa's words. "An Automaton got the better of me before we could get to you. Damn Mortmain."

"Be careful what you say." The Magister emerged from the shadows where he had been lingering behind Tessa, smiling at Cecily. She snarled at him.

"You."

"Me. I don't believe we've properly met," he was still smiling, and Tessa could have sworn he nearly winked at the poor girl. Cecily's eyes were very wide.

"Where is Jem?" she demanded. Tessa blinked at her, surprised at the question. She had assumed that Jem would be there with Will. But then, she had been ignorant of the fact that Cecily was there, too.

"He is being taken care of," Mortmain said for the second time, chilling Tessa to the bone. She glanced at Will then, the only person who could possibly know the horror she was feeling, and sure enough, he was looking at her, face pale and jaw set. Mortmain rolled his eyes at the exchange, muttering something about 'dramatic fools'. He made an impatient noise.

"Oh, hurry up, will you? Get the girl behind those bars so we can go attend to our more _cooperative_ guests." It took a moment for her to realise that he was talking to the automaton. None too gently, it obeyed, jerking her arm hard. She winced as blood began to trickle down her arm, almost tickling her. At least, that was what she tried to focus on. Better that than the pain of metal on flesh. It only took a few steps for her to step into the animal's cage beside Cecilys', and the bruising force finally left her arm, leaving the wound open and bleeding as it stepped mechanically backwards and closed the barred door, locking it more swiftly than any human might have. Tessa tried to ignore this fact- tried to ignore that she was now behind bars, held properly captive by a man who had promised to kill her friends if she did not do exactly as he wanted. Needless to say, she tried in vain.

Tessa cradled her injured arm with the other, determinedly not meeting anyone's gaze. Not Will's, because she knew of the concern and the passion she would see there that would make her feel better and worse at the same time; not Cecily's, because she knew that the impassive, determined look on her face would only make her feel more guilty that she had been dragged into all of this, and not Mortmain's, because she knew that if she looked up and saw his triumphant eyes glinting with malice through prison bars, the image would haunt her forever.

She could hear him, though- she heard him approaching her cell, walking after the automaton and gripping the bars with his hands, leaning in. She could hear his coarse whispers, meant only for her to hear, so quiet that Will and Cecily could not possibly understand:

"Perhaps this will change your mind, Miss Gray. Perhaps this will teach you a lesson. _Look at me when I am talking to you, Theresa_." She swallowed hard, but didn't look up.

"Have it your way," he snarled. "I will come back tomorrow, Theresa, and when I do, you will Change. Or you get to pick which one of your friends I kill first. Don't assume what I will and won't do. I have waited too long to play kindly."

Tessa's mouth parted, cold air letting out a gasp. Her eyes prickled, his words stinging, burning into her memory. _Which one of your friends I kill first._

She felt him let go of the bars and step away. "Do remember that, Miss Gray," he said, more loudly, and then she heard two sets of feet leaving down the narrow hallway she had come through- Mortmain's, and the automatons. Even when she could no longer hear their footsteps echoing, she did not look up. She could not look at either Herondale- she couldn't bare that kind of emotion, that honesty.

"Tessa," Will was saying, and she blinked determinedly at her feet, tears stinging the back of her eyes. She prayed that they would not fall. "Tess, look at me."

"I'm okay, Will," she said, voice croaking unconvincingly.

"Please, Tess," he said, and even though he was across the room, even though they were separated by bars, she heard him as though he were standing beside her, speaking softly, only to her. She glanced up, and the darkness made his eyes even brighter.

"I'm sorry," he said, and Tessa shook her head softly.

"What are you sorry for? Will, I'm the one who is sorry. You should never have been involved in any of this."

"I promised," he said gently. "I keep the promises I make, Tess."

"You tried," she said, voice barely audible. Shaking, she let her injured arm go and held herself still with the bars in front of her, leaning forwards so that she might be a little closer to him. "Will."

"I'm going to kill him for hurting you," he whispered. "I swear to it. I swear on the-"

"No, don't. Don't swear on the Angel. I know what that means for Shadowhunters," she said put in quickly.

"But I have to. You have to believe me-"

"I _do_ believe you, Will. You don't have to prove anything to me. I...trust you," she was sure that now her voice was shaking as much as her hands were. Will blinked at her, as though her words had shaken him, mouth parted slightly-

and then Cecily cleared her throat very loudly.

"Well, then," she said, "now that we all trust that my brother really is going to get us all out of here, why don't you tell us where you've been. Where did you wake up?"

Tessa almost jumped at Cecily's voice, blushing slightly; she had almost completely forgotten that she was there. Then she thought about Cecily's question and turned redder, suddenly embarrassed at how terrified she had felt, even when she had woken in a charming bedroom, while Will's little sister had had to endure an empty and dark cage.

"Actually, I woke up in- in quite a magnificent room, to be perfectly honest. Filled with my favourite things...books...and there was a maid called Susie who brought me breakfast," she recalled. She was still standing where she had been when she was talking to Will- (who had fallen quickly silent and stepped away once Cecily had interrupted them)- but her head was now turned to face Cecily.

"You got breakfast?" Cecily said jokingly. "Hmm. Looks like Mortmain's got a favourite captive."

Tessa shook her head. "I know- although to be honest I found it rather unsettling. Susie warned me that I might not be fed again should Mortmain be dissatisfied with me."

"He hasn't fed us," Cecily complained. "And we didn't even get to speak to him. You must have some kind of immunity."

"I fear that I don't anymore," Tessa said heavily.

"Why? What happened?" Cecily asked, and Will was listening in, now, eyeing them intently. Tessa thought of her shaking legs leading her into Mortmain's office, thought of the threats he had made, the honeycombed lies and kindness with which he had spoken, the order he had given her, one that she had learned to fear- _Change_.

"Nevermind that for a moment," she said. "Are you very hungry? I may have- that is to say, when the maid warned me, I stole away some food with me."

Cecily stepped forward eagerly, moving to where hers and Tessa's cages met. "Oh, do you? Could I- wait, no. You keep it for yourself."

"Yes, keep it for yourself," Will said, jerking his head towards his sister. "This one eats enough as it is."

"Hey!"

"No, no, don't be silly," Tessa insisted. She fumbled in the pockets of her skirts. **(A/N: not sure if skirts actually had pockets back then, but hey, it's a fanfic, anything goes :P). **"I'm sorry, I fear it may not be in the best of conditions..." she pulled the bread out and held it through the bars to Cecily.

"Oh, who cares about the conditions? It's food," Cecily said, taking it gratefully. "Thank you, Tessa."

"You're welcome," Tessa said softly, watching her eat. Even though Tessa hadn't touched her breakfast, she couldn't bring herself to feel hungry. It was like her fear- fear for her friends, and for herself- had rendered her incapable of any other feeling at all.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, and Will and Cecily both looked to her, blue eyes very bright.

"Whatever for?" Cecily asked.

"This," she said, feeling the need to explain. "If it weren't for me, Mortmain would never have bothered any of you. If I hadn't gone shopping and stayed in my room so that the book couldn't possibly be planted- if I had just stayed in America-"

"No," Cecily said firmly. "Mortmain had been involved with my family for years before you arrived, and his plans seem to date back even further. This is far bigger than just you, Tessa- no offense intended."

Tessa smiled at the girl weakly. "None taken, Cecily. I suppose you are right. The lengths that Mortmain is willing to go to..." she shivered, an even gloomier resolve coming over her as she recalled his words earlier. "Jem," she said suddenly. "We must find out where he is- if he's alright. He was hurt before, did you see?"

"Jem was hurt?" Cecily said oddly. Will looked pained, but-

"He's strong. Wherever he is, he is alright. I would know if it were any different," he had his hand over his parabatai rune. Tessa shook her head.

"But it won't remain that way if I refuse to cooperate," she said heavily. "Mortmain said that if I don't Change...he said that he'd ensure that Jem doesn't get his yin fen."

Will sucked in his breath, expression hard, and he looked at the ground, frowning. Cecily shook her head slowly.

"He can't do that," she said softly, suddenly forgetting about the bread in her hands despite her hunger.

"He can, and he will." Will was very pale.

"What am I going to do?" Tessa asked in a whisper.

Cecily put her head in her hands, sighing in surrender. "I don't suppose you have a choice. Jem has to get his medicine." Tessa hesitated. Before, she had been convinced that she was so important to Mortmain that she could protect Jem- it was the reason she hadn't Changed earlier. But that was when she was in a grand room with bright lights and art on the walls, and a kindly servant just outside the door. Now she was in a prison, looking at the bruises and blood on the brother and sister, and she was not so sure.

"But you didn't Change," Will said, reading her train of thought. "You didn't Change earlier, and yet all that Mortmain did was bring you here. He hasn't hurt Jem. And so long as Jem is not straining himself, he can last for several good days without a trace of yin fen in his bloodstream. Not comfortably, but he can, and he has."

Cecily gaped at him. "You are not seriously suggesting that we just leave Jem to-"

"Cecily, please," Tessa interrupted before she could say the word that she could not bear to hear when it came to Jem, yet it hung in the air, unspoken, but present as though it had been: _leave Jem to die. _

"Of course that's not what I'm suggesting," Will scoffed. "Be sensible, Cecy. Mortmain has needed Tessa for whatever he is planning since the beginning, from how he tells it. If Tessa does as he asks, we are giving him exactly what he wants. Given that he's been responsible for the deaths of thousands of mundanes and Shadowhunters, what on earth gives you the impression that he'd spare Jem- that he'd spare anyone- now that he has everything he wants? And what makes you think that what he wants won't involve even more destruction? I will know if something awful is amiss with Jem, and if that is so, then we will come up with something. But for now, we must not let him win. Charlotte will have noticed that we're gone by now, and the Clave is sure to act fast. Until then, Tess," he was looking straight at her now, eyes determined, "you cannot give in. Stay strong. We will settle this."

"You promise that Jem is alright?" she whispered past the lump of worry rising in her throat. She wouldn't have asked Will that question if it weren't for the fact that he was the only one who could answer it- wouldn't have risked seeing the burst of pain in his eyes when she mentioned her fiance's name. Suddenly, she found herself pulled into a memory- the library. His broken eyes. The kiss that had hurt him even more. She flinched, but did not break her gaze from his.

"I'm sure," he said, voice a little husky. "Jem is strong."

Cecily let out a strange sound, close to something of a whimper, and she crossed her arms very tightly across her chest, biting down on her lip.

"Just because he is strong does not mean that we should test that strength," she murmured.

"It is not fair. But it is the only option," Tessa said. Cecily seemed so young, she thought, even though she was only a year younger, Cecily saw things differently to Tessa. She hated, loved, cared, _felt _far more easily. Tessa thought of the way that Cecily had come to the Institute, already acting as if she knew and liked everybody, and compared it to the way that she herself had behaved: afraid and suspicious and unwilling to really trust anybody for a long time, aside from, of course, Jem. It was odd though; Cecily was odd. There were times when she behaved so childishly, yet sometimes she said things that only experience could have allowed her to say.

She didn't say anything in return, only stood, staring at something Tessa could not see, a frozen look on her face.


	17. Chapter 16 Revelation

**Hi guys! Sorry, this is quite a late (and short) update! School has been annoyingly demanding and time consuming lately (why must all the assessments be due ON THE SAME DAY?! :-o) but it's nearly holidays, so I'll have more time on my hands to write more soon . This chapter's pretty much the revelation of the traitor in our midst (most of you guessed it right, too :P). Thank you so much to all the people who've followed, favourited or reviewed! Now to the guest accounts who reviewd Chapter 16 (to the people who reviewed chapter 15: thank you so much, sorry I didn't get to reply). **

Wessa123: **aw, thank you! That's quite the massive compliment, and I'm so glad you like it . Nice name, too- shall I take a wild guess and say you prefer Tessa with Will? :P**

YA Book Crazy: **thanks so much! I try :P I love writing, so its such a boost to hear that other people like my stuff .**

Youcan'tstopme: **no, **_**you**_** rock ;). Haha, thanks for your review! Hope you likey the new chapter! Oh, and you're not sadistic, don't worry- tragic endings are just awesome xD, I mean, they're just so cool and dramatic and terrible and nearly all the good guys end up crying….not that I'm at all sadistic or anything either….:P**

Genelia: **hi! xD thanks for reviewing again! No prob about the Wessa :P (yes, it is a weird name, though- kinda like the sound you make when you sneeze. The fandom may have to work on that one…) I love writing about those two :P so hopefully you guys like reading it!**

Monica: **hey Monica! Ohmigod you are way too nice ! haha yeah, I'm thinking the Silent Brothers got a slightly better deal than Will and Jem :P- oh and you'll finally find out about Jem in the next update sorry about the shortness of this one! Anywho, how are you going? Still considering getting an account? **

Sophie knew that the room was empty before she knocked on the door. She had already checked Jem's, and where Jem went, so did Will- and the fact that Cecily was gone added all the more to her suspicions. Still, she felt like cursing when the door creaked open and all she saw were piles of books and clothes in a condition cramped enough to make any maid cringe, void of any life. Darting her eyes around the room one last time to ensure that it was indeed empty, she hurried out down the hallway, calling out.

"Mrs Branwell? Mr Branwell? Are you aware of-" she nearly screamed as she walked straight into something very tall and solid, but the scream caught in her mouth as she stepped back, and, recognising his face, she let herself smile.

"Oh, Master Gideon," she said, "pardon my lack of coordination- genetic, as they say. I was only looking for Mr Branwell and his wife. Would you happen to have any idea as to where they might be?"

"I wouldn't apologise for that, Miss Collins," Gideon said, a smile playing at his lips as he looked down at her. Although Sophie had stepped back from him, he had not moved at all, and he was still close enough to make Sophie's heart stutter. "You seem rather distressed, Sophie," he said, more gently. "Is something the matter?"

"I-" Sophie hesitated, but at the end of the day, Gideon was a trained Shadowhunter. Surely he was as good a person as any for her to talk to. "It is Master Will," she blurted out, and something flickered in Gideon's eyes that Sophie couldn't quite comprehend.

"What about William?"

"He isn't in his room," she said, "and I am quite sure that he is no where else in the Institute, either-"

"Hardly unusual for a Herondale," he said in an unusually guarded tone. "He's probably been out drinking all night. I would not concern myself if I were you."

Sophie looked at him closely. "It is not just Master Will. Mr Carstairs and Miss Herondale are gone too. It is my belief that they have gone after Tessa, and I fear... Gideon, I fear for them. I fear for my friends." The words escaped her mouth before she could stop them, and she winced, biting her lip. She had called him 'Gideon'. She had called her masters her friends. She had done everything a servant should never do.

Gideon paid that no mind at all. In fact, at her words, he stepped forward, half reaching a hand out to her, and then stopped, as if catching himself, and offered her his arm instead.

"Sophie," he said. "If they are all together, then I am sure that they are alright. Come, I will take to you Mr and Mrs Branwell. They have been conferring with Brother Enoch for the past few hours, apparently- I only just walked past myself- they are inquiring as to Miss Gray's sentence, gathering evidence. Soon everyone will know for sure whether Miss Gray did or did not steal the book."

Sophie breathed out in relief, gladly taking his arm, and his offer to escort her, even though- she couldn't help noticing- he could have just as easily told her which room they were in for her to find by herself. "She didn't steal it," she said with upmost confidence- because she was a maid, and maids knew their masters, and because Sophie knew that Tessa Gray was not a criminal at heart.

"We shall find out," Gideon said diplomatically, and Sophie looked at him where he was, side-along from her as he walked her down the hall.

"You don't...you don't think that Miss Gray actually took the Book of White, do you?"

"I don't think she did," Gideon said. "But we cannot rule out the option. Mortmain got to her brother. We must be sure that he hasn't got to her."

Sophie caught her breath for a moment, unable to fathom what she was hearing, suddenly indignant. She stopped walking and dropped her arm from his, and he turned around, eyes wide in surprise and hurt. She ignored the pang that they brought to her chest.

"Miss Gray is not her brother," she said steadily. "And this whole plan was Mortmain's. The same man who imprisoned Miss Gray, had her practically tortured. You did not know her when she first came here, Sir. There is no possibility that she could ever cooperate with the person who did her such awful."

"Not unless he promised her something," Gideon said. "Not unless she needed answers only he could give her. Everyone is a suspect, Sophie. You must remember that. Otherwise you may be upset to find who it really was."

His words hit her, striking her where it hurt. Trust was something which did not come easily to Sophie, and now he was questioning the little trust that she had.

"Yes Mr Lightwood. I suppose you are correct," she said slowly, looking him directly in the eye. "Everyone is a suspect." She watched him as what she said sunk in, his eyes widening, mouth falling slightly open in shock.

"Oh, Sophie I did not mean-you cannot possibly-Miss Collins, you must know that I would never-"

"I must not know anything," she retaliated. "Gideon you...Gideon, what have you done?"

"Sophie," he looked wounded. "I haven't- how can you believe I would do anything like that? I left my family," Gideon, who was always so calm, so sure of himself, paused for a breath, gasping almost, sounding most odd- almost lost. "I left my family to avoid ever falling in with such a lot. I left them to come here- to be here with you. Sophie." He stepped forward, brushing her hair away from her face with his thumb, and her heart jumped uselessly at his touch, a blush rising to her cheek where he'd touched her.

"So you say," she said, in the coldest tone she could manage. It was not easy, but it was do-able. Given all the years with Jem, Sophie had become very good at hiding her feelings. Very good at seeing logic and truth through false reassurances. "You weren't there when Tessa left. You weren't there when they came to take her away. Why? Were you feeling guilty, Gideon?"

Gideon had never been a very tanned person, so to speak, but at her words he seemed to become more pale than she had ever seen him before, eyes startlingly green in a way that her heart found beautiful, but her mind was unaffected by.

"Somebody planted that book, Master Gideon, and it was not Miss Gray. If you will excuse me, I must report to my mistress now." She lifted her skirts and set off down the hall, even as Gideon called after her that he had not told her where to go yet. "I will find them," she called back. "I functioned here for years, Mr Lightwood. I think I can navigate my way around perfectly well on my own." Sophie knew that this was out of line- the manner in which she was speaking to Mr Lightwood, her superior, a Shadowhunter, and a guest. She knew it was outrageous of her to be thinking these things even, practically accusing him of being a traitor to a Covenant which she herself did not belong to. And yet...her heart raced, a heat in her eyes telling her that angry tears were gathering there. She trusted Gideon, she did- and at the same time, she really didn't. He had looked so shocked when she had looked at him with suspicion. So betrayed. He felt betrayed? It was she who ought to be feeling betrayed. It was she who had honestly believed that he might leave his family to fight for what was right- that he might genuinely want to pursue something with her, regardless of class, the kind of romance Sophie had only read and dreamed about. Now she thought of how riddiculous all that sounded. How riddiculous she was for believing in it. Shadowhunter leaves his family because he's seen the light and fallen for a maid- it was the kind of story that Sophie normally rolled her eyes at. Shadowhunter pretends to leave his family and fall in love with a maid while actually fulfilling the orders of a powerful man who clearly had something to hold against him- now that was more realistic.

And in that moment, Sophie believed that Gideon Lightwood had been the one to plant the book. She almost knew it, and her certainty was just enough to allow the tears to start to seep past her eyes, streaming down her cheeks. She glanced behnd her, making sure he was quite gone, before she allowed herself to truly cry, strangled gasps escaping her throat. She was angry, with him, with herself for believing him, angry at the fact that she was a maid and she had loved two Shadowhunters, one of whom was engaged now, happily so, to her friend and mistress. In despair, she fell against a wall and sunk to her knees, sobs racking her frame, shaking her. So stupid, to let herself trust a boy, believe him-

and then she noticed that there was a light on, orange light spilling from underneath the crack in the door opposite where she sat, and she sniffed away her tears, distracted by the troubled voices behind it. It seemed that, however accidentally, she may have found Mrs Branwell and her husband after all. She rubbed her sleeve over her eyes in an un-ladylike manner, wondering if she was presentable enough to burst in and not have any questions asked about her appearance. She had only just decided against it, deeming this far too important to delay, when the door swung open at the hand of Bridget, carrying an empty tray from the room. Sophie stepped back to allow the cook to pass, avoiding her intense gaze as she did, and entered the room once she'd left, hurrying towards Charlotte, who was standing near a fireplace, shaking her head in distress. Henry was sitting down looking dumbfounded, and Brother Enoch- the man who Tessa had been so afraid of when she had arrived, but who had never scared Sophie- was standing also, looking at Henry, expressionless as always.

"Ma'am," Sophie cleared her throat awkwardly. "Mr Herondale, his sister, and Mr Carstairs are all missing, Ma'am. And Master Gideon...Miss I believe he may..." Charlotte barely acknowledged her words. She was staring at the ground, head in hands now.

"It just...can't be," she whispered. "But...oh, Henry, it can't be. It doesn't make sense."

"Miss? What is it about Will? Miss, did you hear what I said?"

Charlotte, again, appeared not to have heard her.

"If you think about it logically, darling," Henry said, in as grim a tone as Sophie had ever heard him use, "it makes perfect sense."

It is true, Brother Enoch said, his words echoing throughout the room so that Sophie could hear him as clearly as Charlotte or Henry could. The Silent Brothers make no mistakes with this. We have examined the White Book, and have found that the last person to have handled it was not Theresa Gray, but Cecily Herondale.

Sophie froze. Cecily? She had not been expecting to hear that name, not like that. Which meant that Gideon hadn't... she gasped, half in relief, half in horror. Gideon had not betrayed her- them. He had been telling the truth the whole time. He had been trying to protect her from this- he was being honest, that everybody was a suspect. Yet she had treated him so inexcusably anyway. What horrible things he must think of me now, she thought.

"Oh, god, poor Will," Charlotte said again, sighing heavily. "I don't want to have to tell him this. That boy- news like this might just see the last of him."

Sophie felt something then that she had never felt before: she felt pity for Will Herondale- true pity. She felt awful for being selfish, and for being relieved when she heard it was not Gideon- she ought to have been focusing on her masters, her mistresses. But the feelings that she had for Gideon had blinded her to that.

"It would take much more to see the last of our Will," Henry said heavily. "Our main priority must be to find Tessa and talk to Cecily."

"Did you hear me before, Sir?" Sophie asked, seeing the opportunity to be useful. "She is gone. So are the others."

Henry looked at her, the most peculiar expression on his face.

"Gone?" he said numbly.

"Their beds are empty," Sophie confirmed. Henry and Charlotte looked first at each other, then at Brother Enoch.

"Oh, dear," Charlotte gasped, sinking into the chair beside Henry's. He put a hand on her arm to steady her. "Oh, I fear this may be worse than we first thought."

"What is it, Mrs Branwell?"

It was Brother Enoch, however, who answered. The Silent City was broken into last night. Shadowhunter Guards let past an army of automatons- working for Mortmain, we can assume. Theresa Gray's cell was found empty this morning with a great deal of blood nearby.

Sophie paled. "Miss Gray has been...she isn't..."

"Not dead," Henry was quick to say. "We don't believe...no, it was never the Magister's intention, was it?"

"Intentions can change," Charlotte said, expression troubled. "If James is gone, and William is too, then it means that they went to the Silent City. And Cecily was with them- I assume to make sure that everything went to plan. Considering that they have not returned, it would seem that they were captured by the Automatons. Which means that Tessa is not alone."

Sophie let out a sigh of relief at that. She thought of Jem, the look in his eyes whenever Tessa entered a room, and then of Will, whose back had been shredded with metal when he returned from the warehouse, all because he had shielded Tessa with his own body. Her friend would be alright with the two of them- that, at least, she knew. But then again, it must have been something awful that went on in the Silent City if Will and Jem had not been able to hold their ground.

The girl may not be alone, Brother Enoch said, but not one among them is safe now. If it is true that they are all in the hands of Mortmain, and it is true that the Herondale girl is working for him, then the consequences for the Clave could be very...severe. Act quickly, Mrs Branwell, Mr Branwell. It is not only Theresa Gray's life which depends on it.

Bowing his head, the Brother swept past Sophie, embroidered robes brushing across her arm as he did. She shivered at it's touch, closing her eyes. Everything was turning out so dark, and yet she could do nothing about it. She was no Shadowhunter. Not really. It was only in her mind that she was powerful- only there was she strong. It was only in her own head that Sophie was a hero, marching into Mortmain's lair and freeing her friends, teaching the fool a lesson he would never forget. But reality was not so generous as to allow her that honour. No, in reality, it was all she could do to think of her friends and wonder, with a growing sense of dread, where on earth they were now.


	18. Chapter 17 Blurred Conscience

**Hello everyone! Very, very, very sorry about the delay! My assessments finished last week so I don't really have an excuse...except for the fact that I just discovered the BBC Sherlock series, which, may I just say, is completely amazing and addictive! *highly recommend watching it, especially if you're already a fan of Doctor Who :-)****….**** Anyway, I got this done pretty quickly, so it's probably not high quality, and it gets confusing in some parts, so at the end I've just written in an A/N to explain what's gone on. Don't forget to review, favourite, follow! Now, to the lovely people who've reviewed:**

Shey: **Hi Shey! Thank you so much! :) I really hope Jem doesn't die too- which is strange considering I'm the one writing it- but especially in the actual Clockwork Princess. I have a feeling Cassandra Clare might kill one of our favourites though...aaah!**

Wessa123: **Hi! Thanks, I'm glad you liked the chapter! I just love how tragic Will/Tessa is... which is probably a bit strange, now I think about it :P. And virtual hi-5 on the school thing! I just love their complete lack of consideration for our lives. I mean, don't they know some of us have fanfictions to update and review? Gosh. :P**

Monica: **Helloo! xD Wow, thank you! I'd really like to publish a book oneday so it's indescribably brilliant to hear that! I'm sure you'd be really good at writing though- practice is always helpful, but I think if you like it, that's what makes books really readable :). Also, it seems you're reading my mind about the Sideon moment! :P I really like writing about those too...gah I can't help it! You guessed it about Cecily. It was difficult to try to put suspicion on anyone else considering her strange random arrival and everything, but oh well. :P she has her reasons. And ah, the wait for the holidays. I can sympathise. I honestly think I live purely for the holidays in between each semester. Thanks for reading my story, and let me know if you ever do get an account! **

Depthsofthemind: **like your new name hehee, don't worry about Gideon x Sophie making up, I have it all worked out ;), and it's good that Gideon was suspicious as well- I didn't want Cecily to end up being completely obvious. You had some really good ideas about what could've happened that I never thought of before, but you guessed her reasons pretty much 100%. This chapter will hopefully elaborate a little on why she did it, though. **

**T**he Magister scowled, his patience wearing thin as he noted the girl standing beside Susie, both hands on her hips and a look of poison on her face. Sighing elaborately, he nodded Susie's dismissal, waiting for her to close the door before he spoke.

"The hour is late, Miss Herondale, and I have little time for trivial matters. Make this timely, won't you?"

"Timely?" Cecily snorted. "Trivial? _You locked me up_. I was helping you, and you ordered your _bloody _Automatons to capture me and my brother and Jem. You never- you didn't mention any of that. That _wasn't _the plan."

"Of course it was, I just didn't care to let you in on it," he said lazily, noting with some amusement that her entire petite frame seemed to be shaking- with rage, grief, or fear, he didn't care to know which. Once, he would have felt sorry for her- might've shown mercy. But now he was older, and he knew that it was all a lie. Shadowhunters didn't feel- not like normal, proper people did. They were just good at pretending.

"But why? I don't-"

"Understand? It's rather simple. You see, I knew that at least a few of yours would make some attempt to rescue Miss Gray from the Silent City- and I knew that the most effective way of getting Theresa to cooperate is through fear for her friends. It works out quite nicely now, with all of you here."

"You might have warned me."

"Too obvious- I needed it to seem genuine. You need to keep your cover."

Cecily's brilliant blue eyes were flaming, hands curled into fists.

"It's not over then? I've done as you wished, what more could there be? Will you stop making me do things for you?" every word was ecentuated with anger.

"What makes you think your work is done? No, I thought it would've been obvious- smart girl like you, dear. You're going to keep doing what you have been doing this entire time. You will observe, listen, and report back to me. Tell me everything you hear- notify me if they plan to escape. I must say, you've done well so far. Your input has been most appreciated. Don't spoil it now."

"That's your friendly advice, is it?" she spat at him. "What, no threats? No 'on the pain of death' this time?". Now, he thought, was the time when, if she had been truly human, she would be crying. But she was a Shadowhunter, and she did not cry.

He smiled tightly at her. "Miss Herondale, I am not threatening you with anything at all. The stakes remain as they ever have: you do as I ask, and I can guarantee that yourself, your mother, and your father will live safely through the troubles to come, with my protection. If you don't, of course..." his smile grew wider, "well, no such guarantee can be made, shall we say."

Cecily shook her head, looking determinedly at the man before her, trying to find something there to grab on to, to relate to. She hadn't known many men before- most had been much like her father- broken and drunk and sorry bastards, all of them. Mortmain wasn't like that. She thought of Will, mysterious and sensitive and sarcastic- Mortmain wasn't much like that either. Then she thought of Jem.

"What was that?" Mortmain said, eyeing her curiously, and it was only then that she realised she must have spoken out loud.

"Jem," she said. "Where is he? He isn't in the cells with Tessa and my brother. I want to know where he is."

"He is in no danger of anyone but himself at the moment," Mortmain said, and her eyes narrowed.

"What does that mean?"

Mortmain sighed. "Do you want to keep your family safe or not, Miss Herondale? Truly, your demands are becoming quite tedious. I am not here to supply answers to your foolish questions. Last week you wanted to see your mother, now you want to know all about the one your brother is so touchingly close to- his _parabatai_, as I've heard you call it."

She looked at him steadily, but her voice was trembling. "Jem is sick," she breathed. "Jem needs his medicine. You... let him go."

Mortmain laughed out loud, the sound echoing eerily throughout the study.

"Let him go?" he mimicked her tone. "Now why would I do that? After all, he is Miss Gray's betrothed. He will prove to be ideal..._motivation _for her to cooperate."

"She told us that you threatened him," Cecily said. "That you wouldn't give him his medicine."

"And that shall be the case, if Miss Gray does not do as I ask."

Cecily drew in a deep breath, biting her lip. "Please let me see him." She opened her eyes, fixing her gaze on Mortmain's, eyes as begging as her words. "Please." She barely whispered the word.

The Magister drew back in his chair, eyebrows raised in interest. "You seem awfully concerned for him. I do hope you've not grown attached, Cecily. It will only make this harder for you,you know. Never forget who you stand with."

"I stand with my family." Her voice rose.

"You stand _for_ your family," Mortmain corrected her. "Regardless of your motives, you are working on my side in this battle. The winning side."

"Let me see Jem," Cecily said again. Mortmain sighed heavily, not for the first time, and stared over Cecily's shoulder into space, gazing at something nobody else could see.

"It won't do you any good to see him, child. Nor will you be a great comfort to him."

"I want to see him. Let me...let me see him, and I will tell you everything I hear from Tessa and my brother."

He looked back at her then, an almost disappointed look on his face.

"I would have made you do so anyway," he said, "but I suppose, if you insist. There will be no harm in it. _Susie_!" he barked at the door, snapping his fingers even as the maid appeared from behind it. Cecily wondered if she had been listening to the entire encounter, and she almost hoped that she had- the poor girl had to know the nature of the man she was working with- that she might escape, as Cecily so longed to, but could not. Not if she wanted her parents to live. She saw them, sometimes, in her nightmares- _her father's tired face raw with fear, her mother's tight and unreadable expression, the turn of the handle of the door, the call from the Manor, the voice announcing the arrival of somebody called 'the Magister'. The ropes that had bound their arms behind their backs, and the metal creatures that stood over them._ Cecily bit her lip but refused to shiver.

"...to the prisoner? Are you sure, Sir?" the maid was saying. Mortmain sighed warily, returning to the paperwork on his desk- although paperwork for what, Cecily couldn't imagine.

"Come Miss." Susie advanced on her. Up close, Cecily could see the freckles scattered across the girl's face. She looked bored; tired. Cecily wondered if she had a family to protect as well- or if she had a family at all. Perhaps she was the unfortunate orphan of a middle class couple and had now fallen in with her estranged Landlord, forced to scrub floors and cook meals for survival, but bearing it all well, for her parents' sake. She might have had a brother too- or a sister, more likely. Maybe they had braided each other's hair and laughed as they did, the way she and Ella had done when things were normal. Sometimes she did that- looked at people and imagined their stories, thought up tragic and heroic and funny reasons for the way that they behaved day in and day out. She had never been able to see if she was right; she never got to know anybody well enough to ask them themselves. It sounded miserable, and sometimes, it was. It got truly awful sometimes, especially before she had been sent to spy on Will. Then she had been alone in the Manor with nobody at all for long nights and days at a time, what with her father's gambling addiction and her mother barely seen. Seeing Will that first time had made her choke up at the memory of it- growing up alone when her childhood had promised the opposite. But staying at the Institute was the closest she had ever come to anyone, really. Will had been eager to make things up to her- had told her what she had missed, hugged her, taught her how to fight- and in Tessa she had found a friend, and Jem had been an unexpected blessing as well. It was like hell's taunt, for her to find companionship and family in a twisted bid of betrayal. She hated Mortmain for it- as she sometimes hated Will, for she could not forget all she had endured after he left- but none more so than she hated herself.

She stepped forward, not bothering to nod farewell to the Magister.

"Very well," she said, to this girl she would never know. "Take me to him."

Jem closed his eyes so he couldn't see the break. His leg was fractured badly, there was no doubt about it- but looking at it, he knew, would not help. Besides, he was exhausted.

He had woken up hours ago- hours, perhaps days, he could not be sure. He was in a room with four walls and a roof, not a window or a door in sight, and time seemed indefinite here, unfathomable. At first, he had screamed; called to Tessa, to Will, to Cecily. He had even tried to stand- but that had done his leg no good. Still, he had shouted and cried out to them until his throat was coarse, not only from screaming, but from coughing up his own blood. He didn't know where he was, or where anybody else was. But he knew this scenario all too well. He had been here before- isolated, alone, captured. Even as he tried to grasp the present, his mind was wandering away, taking him back to China, to where his parents had spent their last days. He had heard them screaming as they died. He couldn't hear anyone screaming now.

He couldn't hear anything at all- save for, of course, his own frantic breathing. His veins burned, but not from adreneline, as they had during the fight- this was a more nasty kind of burning- the burn of the drug wearing away, its effect fading, taking its toll on his body. One would have thought that, having been through this before, Jem would be reasonably calm- at least, calmer than most, less afraid. At another time, it might have been. Yes, were it not for Tessa, Jem knew, in the darkest corner of his heart, that he would not have fought for sanity or survival this time, sucumbing to his ill fate. But she was in his life now, and that was something Jem had not had in China- something he had never had to comfort him, and something he had never had to fear for before. If for no other reason, he promised himself then that he would find his bride-to-be and make her safe. How he would do so, he knew not, but it didn't matter. A surge of conviction rippled through him, and with a cry, Jem used his arms to push himself up onto one leg, leaning against a wall for balance. He panted, gratified at his progress- and that's when the lock turned.

Jem didn't see a door anywhere- presumably one of the walls doubled as a door on the other side-but even so, it was closed by the time he turned around. Which was why the girl standing before him appeared to be so much of an angel. The white walls around her seemed to glow, her long hair cascading down her shoulders improperly. He caught his breath.

"Tessa?"

She walked closer to him, a smile playing at her lips. It was then that he noticed what she was wearing: a dress. A gold dress. In alarm, he surveyed himself and realised that he was dressed in an evening suit, shoes shined and polished- although his jacket and pants were gold as well.

"Oh, god am I late?"

The girl looked confused. "Late for what?"

"The wedding," Jem said, agitated, grabbing her arm none too gently. "Oh, Tessa, we must hurry! Where is it? I do not remember. Do you suppose Will is already there? Charlotte is supposed to walk you down the aisle, is she not?"

"Jem." Tessa wrenched her arm from his grip, stopping him in his tracks. "Jem, whatever are you talking about? There's no wedding- not today, anyway. Jem, do you know where you are?"

"Tessa," he stared at her. She was truly beautiful, he thought, no matter what shape she took. Even now, she struck him as a little different, although he couldn't say how.

She shook her head worriedly. "Jem, I am not Tessa. And you are not at home." She sighed. "You are not safe."

He shook his head. "I know you, Tessa. Don't worry- I recognise you. I would recognise you no matter who you Changed into."

She sighed, and there was something so heartbreakingly sad about the way she did it that Jem reached to touch her face with his fingertips, drawing her towards him.

"When did you last take your medicine?" she asked him.  
"Do not worry about me," he said. "You are here now. As long as you are with me, I will be well."

"Jem-"

"Stay with me, Tessa," he said. "Stay with me." He buried his face in the crook of her neck. "I can't lose you," he whispered.

"Jem, I'm worried about you," she said, just as quietly. "But I'll get you out of here, I promise. I swear on the Angel."

"Only Shadowhunters have to do that, Tess- and I don't need you to swear anything to me."

"I am a Shadowhunter," she said, quietly, but firmly. Jem shook his head. There was something very wrong with what she was saying- something that didn't quite match up- in fact, now he came to think of it, her voice wasn't quite as he knew it to be, either.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm not who you think I am. If you knew who I was, Jem, you wouldn't be speaking to me like this. I know now. You really love her. You do."

"I love _you_," he corrected her, and, unexpectedly, he felt her flinch. He drew back, only to see a single tear running down Tessa's face. He hastened to wipe it away, but she stepped out of his embrace as though it stung her.

"Tessa-"

"Goodbye Jem," she whispered, her voice very coarse. "It's time for you to wake up. You're dreaming, you see." She stepped towards him, her eyes shining- although no more tears had joined the first. "It's all just a dream."

"Tessa?" he asked, and he was going to say more- but then everything started to tilt around him, the floor suddenly rising and spinning around him. Startled, he turned to his fiance; she was standing still, not seeming to feel the movement, her expression almost empty. It was all he could do- watch as her brown eyes turned blue and blue eyes turned brown again, until he no longer knew if it was Tessa Changing, or perhaps somebody else. There was something familiar about those eyes.

"Cecily?"

And then blue eyes were the last things he saw before darkness consumed him.

**For those who are kinda confused by all that, let me clarify: Cecily has been working for Mortmain recently because he has her parents captive and is threatening to kill them if she doesn't cooperate. She thought that the plan was for Tessa to be taken to the Silent City, and didn't know that he would also capture Will, Jem and she (she'd tagged along with them just to make sure they didn't get to Tessa before the automatons did). She asked to see Jem. The part in Jem's POV is the most confusing; basically, Jem is delusional and when Cecily comes to see him he is convinced that she's Tessa. Obviously withdrawing from the drug isn't doing him any good.**


	19. Chapter 18: Ever-Changing Minds

**Hiiiiiiiii! Well, you guys continue to amaze me with your reviews and follows- I hope you'll like this chap :). I'm (finally) on holidays, so I had heaps of time for this one- that is, when I wasn't stalking One Direction/ the cast of BBC Sherlock on tumblr...*shame*.**

**Anyway... this one's pretty dramatic, if I do say so myself- there's some Sideon, some clues as to Mortmain's motives, and tension in the cages. Don't forget to review! I've got some serious action lined up, and a bit of a defining moment for the Tessa/Will/Jem love triangle ;) . Now, for the guests who reviewed:**

Robyn: **Hey Robyn! Thanks so much! Keeping them in character is my main goal with this whole story :P and I'm glad Cecily was what you expected her to be- she was a bit of a wildcard. :) Hope you keep following!**

Shey: ** and the tale is in love with you *not as creepy as it sounds* :P haha, thank you Shey! :) heere's the next chapter! Hope you like! **

Wessa123: **helloo! Thanks :) yeah, Cecily's not having the best time... and I must confess I'm trying to draw inspiration from Cassie Clare's awesome quotes :P. Hope you like the chapter- teensy bit of Wessa tension ;)- hint: there's a leetttle bit more of **_**that**_** lined up. **

Monica: **howdy doo! *it's cowboy-speak for 'hi'*. Haha, you're welcome about Jem- and the break out is a working progress, although it'll take quite a while, and may or may not involve the cooperation of a certain flambouyant warlock...what can I say, you're exactly right! THIS STORY NEEDS MORE MAGNUS!**** Wish granted on the Sideon part ;), and Wessa is coooming up :-). Thanks again for reviewing- and yes, I testify that holidays _are_ fablouis!**

Sophie was biting her nails when he found her. Maids weren't supposed to to it; it was an old habit that her last household would have scolded her for. Charlotte had never said a word about it, and nor had Henry. Besides, she didn't do it much anymore- only when she was stressed or afraid. Afraid. That is what Gideon Lightwood must see in me, she thought, casting her eyes from his. He was standing before her now, above the chair that she had sunk into in the library, his hands linked politely behind his back. He cleared his throat, and reluctantly, she looked up at him.

"I heard," he said. "About Cecily." Sophie just nodded, not knowing what she could possibly say. She could feel Gideon's eyes on her, as she could feel it whenever he touched her- whether to pull her into a forbidden embrace or simply as an accidental brush of hands, it didn't matter- she always felt it, the warm feeling that spread to her whole body. It felt comfortable. It felt unsettling. "The Clave have been notified of everything," he said quietly. "Even now, an investigation of highest urgency is being put into locating Mr's Herondale and Carstairs, and Miss Gray as well. They will be alright, Sophie." She shivered. "Of course they will be," she managed irritably. "What made you think that-" "It is only that I know that you worry about them," Gideon cut in with a small smile- almost sad. "I wanted to assure you that others are worried too- that a search is going out, and that I myself will ensure that they are found. I promise I will bring them back." _Promise. _That word had always frightened Sophie, haunted her, almost- it was something so precious and intimate that she had never spoken it before. Somehow, coming out of Gideon's mouth, it sounded good- like she could get used to it. He was so good, she thought. So very good. And she had very nearly accused him of betrayal. She had talked back to him like an equal when she was only a servant. Shame rendered her speechless for a moment. "Promise nothing to me," she whispered. "I am but a maid, and you, good Sir, are a warrior. You will take part in investigations because it is your mandate- not because you want to save a servant from losing friends she should not have. It isn't proper."

"Proper." To her surprise, he started to laugh. "I used to care about that. The Angel knows, I used to think I knew what it meant. Sophie, _proper_ means doing what you believe is right, regardless of what customs may tell us."

"You really believe that?" her lips parted in surprise.

"Believe it?" Gideon shook his head and just looked at her imploringly, and she hesitated, knowing what she needed to say.

"I must beg your pardon," she said softly. "I...yesterday, I was most out of place when I...implied that you might have... that is to say, I should not have spoken to you in that manner."

"Speak to me in whatever manner you like," Gideon said. "It is only..." he paused for a moment. "I only wish that I had not given you cause to think of me in such a way. I had hoped... you must know that I would never do a thing that might cause you grief, Sophie." "I apologise," she said, flushing bright scarlet, she was certain. "I didn't... it was only that you behaved most oddly when I asked you about Master Will, and I-"

"William," Gideon said, in a most unusual tone, and Sophie blinked at him, curious.

"Yes," she said. "As you are now. But I know now that it must be something completely unrelated- and, no doubt, justifiable. I know that you never did get along well with Mister Herondale in the past."

"It is nought to do with the past," Gideon said, and Sophie thought that his face seemed oddly red, as though he were embarrassed about something- but what on earth would he be embarrrased about?

"Then what is it to do with?"

Gideon shook his head, looking away from her. "It does not matter. It is quite insignificant, I assure you. Besides, if there is something going on between you and he, it is not as if it concerns me at all-"

"What?" In her shock, Sophie completely forgot her manners and just gaped at him in horror. "Something...dear Heavens, I should say not! Whatever gives you that impression? First Miss Gray, now you- do you assume that just because he is handsome I automatically have feelings for him? Because if that is so, Mr Lightwood, I must say you are sorely mistaken." She truly was taken aback. When Tessa had first arrived at the Institute, she had ineptly guessed as much as well, but the surprise of that was nothing compared to what she felt now. The things that she had shared with Gideon- the time, the stolen moments, all of it- had been new to her, and in all that time, she had treated Will as she always had- with indifference and attitude. If that was the way Gideon thought she treated a person she had feelings for, he had a strange opinion of her indeed.

Gideon blinked at her for a moment, not seeming to understand. "You say that I am mistaken?"

"Gravely," she put in for emphasis. "How did you come to that conclusion, in any case?"

"But- it is only that you are always looking after him. Mentioning him when he is not there, fussing over him, worrying. I know that you worked with him months ago to expose Jessamine... and the way you speak- it is like playful rivalary. And I know women find him charming, my own sister and others have confirmed that for me. I suppose... and yesterday, you seemed so concerned that he was missing."

Sophie could have laughed at how utterly wrong his deductions were.

"I was concerned because I knew what it meant if he had gone," she clarified. "I knew Master Jem would be with him, and I knew that they had gone to the Silent City- there was nothing personal about it at all. And there is nothing at all playful about our rivalary Sir- Mrs Branwell says that someone has to talk back to that boy, and I must say, I agree with her. To be most honest, I almost hated him for a long while- although my tolerance of him has grown considerably- but that is all. Truly, I apologise, Master Lightwood, but I don't believe you could have been more mistaken." There was a silence for a moment after her outburst. Then, slowly, Gideon smiled, rather apologetically. "A thousand pardons," he said. "I should not have made assumptions. In any case, it seems my... actions yesterday were quite misleaded, and I apologise."

"Wait a moment," Sophie said, thinking. "Why would that- I mean, why would the idea that I might love Will cause you to act so coldly about him?" The smile was gone as quickly as it had appeared then, replaced by a rather sheepish look. He sighed in exasperation. "Oh, Soph," he said, and she started at the name he gave her- she couldn't remember anyone calling her that before, and she rather liked the sound of it. "You are far more wise than many I have known, and yet you can be so blind at times." "I'm not blind."  
"Sadly, you are. If you were not then you would know the reason that I might be...upset at the thought that you might have feelings for Will Herondale. You would know how I would feel." He still looked mildly embarrassed, but he was looking straight at her now, wanting her to hear him, to understand. The word came to Sophie then, almost automatically, and without thinking, she said it out loud. "Jealous? But why would you be jealous?" She wanted to take back the words as soon as she had said them, but it was too late. Gideon smiled crookedly at her, his green eyes gleaming. "No reason," he said, the smile never leaving his face. "No reason at all." There was a loud noise, something like a crash, that came from down the hallway then, startling Sophie. Gideon grinned at that, and didn't take his eyes off her even as Henry called for him from the source of the noise. He sighed. "I suppose I had better go, then. It sounds as if Henry could use some help post haste." "It often does," Sophie mused. "And Gideon..." he had turned to leave, but was now frozen on the spot, waiting. Sophie swallowed, knowing that she really shouldn't say what she was about to, but recklessly not caring all the same. "If there is no reason that you would be jealous at the thought, then there is equally no reason that I should be surprised that you of all people should come to that conclusion about me and Master Will."

"And what non-existant reason would that be?" he asked, honest curiosity burning behind the question. He had turned completely back around and was facing her- in fact, Sophie could have sworn that he didn't used to be this close to her. "I am surprised," she said, "that after all that has happened..." feeling unbelievably bold, she reached out and traced her fingers from his shoulder down his arm. "...that it is _Will Herondale_ whom you thought I had feelings for." Gideon shivered, and she kept her fingers on his arm, enjoying the sparks of something other wordly that passed through her skin were she touched him. Their eyes met, and, as if pulled by some greater force, their heads slowly tilted towards each other to meet in a kiss. Sophie fluttered her eyes closed and waited for the soft feel of his lips on hers- but it didn't come. She drew back a little, confused, only to see that Gideon had drawn himself back from her and was looking at her with a small frown on his face.  
"Master Gideon, I... I apologise, Sir, I only thought..."

"Master Gideon," he muttered to himself. He glared at her then, and the look was so unfamiliar on his face that Sophie flinched. "After everything, Sophie, and you still insist. It is in your nature, I realise that- but surely you must know that every time you address me so it is like taking a knife to the chest. That you would fear me, that you would not consider me an equal... Sophie, I have made it no secret that I believe you to be an amazing woman- and I have made it no secret that I wish to be apart of your life. I came here, Sophie, for two reasons. For the greater good, and for you. If you will not allow me to Court you properly, then I must decline from engaging in any more of these secretive comforts, for it will only make the overbearring truth more painful. I wish to build something with you, properly, and nothing serious or lasting can come of this secrecy and confusion. I must ask you once and for all Miss Collins, do you think that you could love me? Do you think that we could be together- that I might be able to call you my bride oneday? Do not laugh at that, I beg you. Just tell me. One word for you, and I promise, I will not pursue you again. You must afford me this one comfort. Please." Sophie stared at him, long and hard, at the hope and desperation in his eyes, the barely concealed defeat that lay to bear. He had said it, at last- said what had been lying unsaid between the two of them for as long as she could remember. Suddenly, she was furious.

"Oh, I must, must I?" she fired back. "Gideon Lightwood, you know full well that it is not just a matter of what either of us may want, and however much I may want to be with you, that would never come without the inevitable judgment of others, the involvement of the Clave, your reputation and mine as well. You may be well ready to make a charity case towards the Clave, but I am not prepared to demand to be considered superior to the class that I was born into! I do not want people to look at me and see me as the servant who seduced the Shadowhunter for her own means. I have my pride to keep, Gideon, and it is all that I have- you know that. So do not presume to present me with such an ultimatum when you know that it is not so simple as you put it. Do not ask me that again, for I cannot give an answer." If she had expected him to appear shaken by her outburst, or at the very least ashamed, she was mistaken. Gideon just looked at her with a small smile playing at the edge of his lips.

"What are you smiling about?" she snapped, not caring for how rude she was being; if she was honest with herself, she'd say that the time had long past when she had cared to check her manners around Gideon. He just smiled wider, almost unnervingly, and he started to head away- for, as Sophie had nearly forgotten, Henry was still in need of his assistance. Just before he turned completely, he said, very quietly, very plainly:

"You called me Gideon."

Tessa spat out blood. She remembered seeing Jem do it the first night she ever came across him. At the time, she'd been so startled that she hadn't stopped to wonder what it had felt like to him. Now, she understood with much more clarity. It hurt- shockingly so, like a hot flame at the base of her throat that was spreading, and with each cough she felt that she was wrenching up some part of her that was not supposed to be. It was awful. And Jem had felt it every day.

Tears stung the backs of her eyes as silver flashed before them, the Automaton moving on Mortmain's orders to strike her again- this time across her middle, so that a long, red line of blood began to soak through the flimsy material of her dress. She gasped in pain. "It's simple enough- if you want this to stop then do as I say, god dammit child!" Mortmain bellowed, losing his patience. She drew some kind of dry amusement from it; the idea that she was irritating him- that she was wasting his time. However much pain she was in, she was not giving him what he wanted, and that thought was enough to stop her from bursting into tears at the next sharp blow she received. As if it came from very far away, she heard a whimper from the cells. Without much warning, the Magister had marched down to her enclosure with an Automaton at his side, malice in his eyes, and the same, curious hankerchief in his hand. It must have been hours ago- time really wasn't measurable here, where the light was ever-constant, ever-faded, never changing to differentiate morning from night. In any case, he only bothered to drag her out a short distance from where Cecily and Will were- they witnessed the entire thing, each blow, each cry. She knew that the Magister had done it on purpose, to torture her, but it was having the opposite effect. When the Dark Sisters had brutalised her, she had been entirely alone, with only the thought of Nathaniel to keep her going. Now, she didn't have to conjure up images- the ones she was fighting to protect were right behind her, and she would not be weak in front of them. She would stay strong, just as Will had told her to. "Tell me who you want me to Change into." "You'll find out when you cooperate," he said icily. She glared at him, mouth tightly sealed, hands firmly linked behind her back so that he could not offer her the hankerchief. Now, she thought, she must truly look like a fright. Her hair was escaped and tangled, with blood matting the ends where it fell on her cut shoulders, and her eyes were wide and set. Mortmain hissed between his teeth, stepping closer so that she could smell his breath, putrid and poisonous. "So be it," he said. "The Silver one will be the first to go._ Slowly_." He pulled back from her, signalling for the Automaton to advance again, and she braced herself for the metal blow that sent her sideways across the floor, blood seeping through her dress. From the cages, Cecily gasped, and when Tessa turned to look at her, she could see that the girl was alarmingly pale. Since she had, a long while ago, returned from being mysteriously escorted by Susie to see Mortmain, she had been so, although she insisted that he had done nothing but taunt her with empty threats. "I will have quiet from the audience, thank you," Mortmain projected, grinning at Cecily and Will- whose jaw was set and posture was frozen. "Alright, away with the girl. I will return tomorrow, Theresa. Think carefully about what you are risking if you are considering behaving like that again. Most rude. Didn't your Aunt ever teach you better? Then again, it wouldn't surprise me. She was quite rude herself." Tessa started as the Automaton wheeled systematically to her side, launching her to her feet. "What do you know about my Aunt?" "I'll know a great deal more, dear, if you'll Change as I ask you to," Mortmain said, beetle eyes gleaming, and Tessa narrowed her eyes against the haze that was coming over her, fuelled by pain and exhaustion. "Why Aunt Harriet? Why do you want me to Change into her?" "I never said that I wanted you to Change into _her_, Theresa. You always do insist on jumping to the wrong conclusions, don't you? It would be endearing _if it weren't so frustrating_." He shouted the last few words in sudden rage, a mood swing so fierce that even Will flinched from his stony position. Tessa let out a ragged breath, shaking in the cold arms of the Automaton. They had reached her cell, and it began to file her into it. She did not fight it- she saw no way out, and besides, she was so drained, it would do her little good to try. She surveyed Mortmain thoughtfully, abandoned of fear despite the dangerous red shade of his face, the bulging veins in his neck, the volume of that deep voice. He cared very desperately for something- more than something- someone. Someone he needed to speak to again, which was why he wanted her to Change. Wanted, or needed? Was it a conversation about his plans? Or something of more sentimental value? If she could figure it out, she knew, she could find a way to disarm him. It was then, it her state of delirium, that Tessa said what was possibly both the bravest and most stupid thing that she could have said to that man.

She said, "did you love them?" "Did I what?" he barked, turning on her. She barely registered his anger. "Whomever it is that you wish me to Change into. Did you love them? Or do you still?" Mortmain was silent for a moment, looking at her with a contemplative expression, and when he did speak again, it was in a most unusual tone indeed. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Tessa opened her mouth to answer him, but at that point, the Automaton slammed the cage door shut, and he had already turned around, walking away even more hurriedly than he had entered.

"Are you alright?" Cecily demanded as soon as Mortmain was out of earshot. She looked ill, eyes dwelling on the blood that was all over Tessa. "I have had worse," Tessa said. In truth, she wasn't feeling so bad- the dizziness had passed, and her new puzzle over Mortmain was drawing her attention away from the stinging cuts and bruised muscle that covered her body. Will cursed then, emerging from the silence he had been wrapped in. "What's taking so long? Charlotte would have found us missing by now. This should never have been allowed to happen." "I'm sure they're doing all that they can," Tessa said, the urge to defend Charlotte spurring her on. "We all know that Mortmain isn't easy to trace. It will be alright for now. As you said, Will- I need only stay strong for as long as I can." At that, a strange look came over Will, and it was only when he started talking that Tessa identified it as cold fury. "When I said 'stay strong' I didn't know that you would interpret it as letting yourself be_ tortured_ for the sake of disobedience! God, Tessa, what's wrong with you? You just _sat_ there, happy to be whipped within an inch of your life. Are you insane?" "What, you would rather I just abandon our plan because of a bit of pain?" she retaliated, stung by his words. "It was you who suggested that we don't cooperate- it could be dangerous. Who knows what Mortmain will be able to do once he gets me to Change into whoever he wants. It could be all he needs to launch an attack on the entire world! Be sensible, Will." "No, _you _be sensible!" Will said, voice getting louder as he argued. "I would never have suggested it if I knew they would've hurt you like that. I assumed that Mortmain wouldn't want you to be injured." "If our places were swapped," Tessa said, trying to remain rational, "if you were the one that Mortmain wanted for whatever reason, would you give him his way for fear of beatings?" "Of course I wouldn't, but I am not you! I am a Shadowhunter, and I-" "What, you can take it because you're a Shadowhunter and you're stronger than me? I'm strong too, Will. I can bear it." She flared, leaning as close to him as possible so he could read the anger on her face. "You shouldn't have to bear it!" he shouted. "You have to stop this, Tessa. You think you're playing the hero when really you're just making yourself weak, draining your energy- and think of what's happening to Jem while you're resisiting all of this!" "How dare you?" Tessa said, stunned. "Don't talk to me about Jem. You said he was strong enough. You told me he could do it. Do not presume I don't think about the pain he is surely in, because I do. It is all I think about." "Clearly it isn't," Cecily said quietly, and Tessa rounded on her. "What?" "If it were_ all_ you thought about, you would have given in," Cecily said, and her voice was void of judgment, despite her harsh words. "I'm not saying that's a bad thing; there are other things to consider apart from Jem as well- important things- but you shouldn't claim to think of nothing else. To do so would be to lie." "Well, I do not believe that any one of us here is innocent in that regard," Tessa said, and Will narrowed his eyes at her. "What are you saying?" "You know perfectly well what I mean," she snapped. "You lied more than anyone else- for years, almost your whole life! You had your excuses, yes, and so do I when I lie! _So do I_!" "So does everyone!" Cecily interrupted angrily. "We lie when it's necessary, but it is not necessary for you to lie about thinking of Jem when you're more concerned with biding enough time for you to figure out what kind of creature you really are. We all know it to be true already." Tessa gasped, and even Will looked startled by her words. "Cecily," he began, eyes wide, but Tessa interrupted him. "No, no, very well, it's true," she said defiantly. "Yes, I am keen to know the truth of who I am- who my parents were- why he wants me, what I can do. Can either of you honestly claim that you would not be the same in my position? You know not what it is like to not know the function of your own self. Each of you knew you were a Shadowhunter from childhood- I had, and have, no such luxury." "I'd wager Jem would say that it doesn't matter what others label you, so long as you know yourself," Cecily said, more quietly now. "And that is all well and good," Tessa said, the sting of tears rising at the back of her eyes; she forced them back, "but even James cannot truly understand me. Nobody can. So _do not_ assume to judge my motives for what you will never comprehend." "Cecily," Will said, "I think you owe Tessa an apolo-" "Don't," Tessa stopped him harshly. "I don't want apologies from your sister. I don't even want apologies from you." Will looked bewildered. "I don't-" "You have a way, Will," she said, "of making people feel important, it is true. You also have a way of making people feel worthless. If you will not stand with me on this, I will continue with the original plan alone. You have abandoned your friends enough in the past that god knows, we are all quite used to functioning alone." Will opened his mouth then, as if to speak, but no words came out. His blue eyes were very wide, and he bit down on his lip, as Tessa herself did at times when she wanted to distract herself from pain. "I do not wish to abandon anyone," he said throatily. "But I cannot stand behind a plan which allows you to be beaten bloody. I won't do it." "Why do you care?" she spat angrily, and her anger faded substancially once she saw the affect her words had on Will's face, changing abruptly into guilt. A flash of disbelief, longing, and pain crossed his features, his mouth twisting into a grimace and he let out a humourless laugh, looking away from her. "I'm Best Man, am I not? The groom would never forgive me if I were to leave his bride to the mercy of the Automatons." He was falling behind his hard exterior shell again, Tessa thought with dismay. Years of habit drew him into it, hiding his true face behind a mask- although, after what Tessa had just said to him, she concluded that right now, she was glad for his pretence- if only to avoid seeing the damage she had done him. Or indeed, the damage she had done herself. _'How hard you are to care for, Will,' _she wanted to say- wanted, but never could. She imagined it would do no good for either of them in these twisted circumstances.

"Cecily," she said, "where do you stand?"

"Does it matter?" Cecily raised her eyebrows. "You are going to do as you will regardless of what I would have said. To be honest, I care not. Cooperating with Mortmain might not be so disasterous as you assume, but then again, it may well be. There is no right thing to do here- nothing that will result in no harm to anyone." "I fear you may be right at that," Tessa sighed and looked over at Will, who was still looking determinedly away from her, jaw clenched shut as it had been when the Automaton had beaten her. Now that the adreneline was wearing off, her limbs were beginning to ache tremendously, trickles of blood still escaping from her wounds- most of them shallow cuts, save for a particularly nasty one on her leg, which she dared not inspect. She was glad that Will had turned away, yet devestated all the same. At least before their awful argument, she had not felt so alone. But now, with Will hurt and in disagreement, and Cecily neutral and mysterious, Tessa felt as lonely as she could remember feeling. _Oh Jem_, she thought. _You would know what to do. Where are you? Please be alright...please. _


	20. Chapter 19 Strength

**Hi guys! Pleease don't kill me! Sorry for this terribly late update. I've been pretty busy (training in my first EVER job, yay!) and I had such big plans for the plot I didn't know whether to include them in this chapter or not. I decided to split it, so next chapter, be prepared for some serious plot twists, and the reappearance of some long neglected characters. I don't want to hold you up anymore, so I hope you like this chapter! Now just to the guest accounts:**

**Monica: **hello! Ahh, I know, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting! Thank you for not giving up on the story though- it means a lot that you kept checking. (Also, Sideon is quickly becoming one of my favourite couples too!). Not much Wessa in this chapter…but we'll see ;)

**Shadowkissed: **hi! Wow, thank you I'm glad you like it- and it's great to hear that I'm writing the characters realistically. Sadly, this chapter's Magnus is probably a little OOC . Hope you like the rest of it, though!

**Guest: **hello! Thanks for your tips . Unfortunately, there isn't much I can actually do about it, though. I write using Microsoft Word, and on a Word document, the dialogue is all set up correctly etc., but when I upload it to the website the proportions completely change (different page spacing) and everything gets mixed up, so on the website, it appears crowded and the dialogue starts in the most inconvenient places. It's not ideal, but I haven't found a way around it yet, so you'll have to bear with it for now.

**Wessa123: ** Hi! Thank you! Yeah, I wanted to make Tessa a bit of a badass- so here we go! Glad you liked it!

A day past. Then another. Then a third. It was the single mercy that Mortmain had offered her, to give her some sense of time in this strange place- he had not been so kind in any other respect. There were no mirrors in the prisons, and for this, Tessa was glad, for she was sure that if she were to see what had become of herself, she would weep in shock. She had never considered herself beautiful, but now- with scabs drying over days-old lashes and fresh wounds seeping blood and other, more thick liquid, her hair unwashed and matted with clumps of blood and metal, and her skin thick with a layer of dirt and sweat- she was sure she resembled more closely a monster than a human being. The days had taken their toll on the others, as well. They were scarcely fed, and both Cecily and Will had grown much thinner. Cecily spent most of her time moodily staring into space, occasionally disappearing to be interogated by Mortmain. Tessa worried for her in those times, begging Mortmain not to take Cecily, but to punish her instead, but each time, Cecily would insist that she could handle herself, and she would return without wounds, insisting that the Magister had got nothing out of her. Will was even less likely to talk than Cecily was; since their argument, he had scarcely said a word to either of them, save for asking Tessa if she was alright after every lashing, without making eye contact. He looked sickly pale, and had taken to sitting down with his back turned- each of them, in a way, isolated despite the fact that they were so close to each other. The matter of Jem, of course, still haunted them all.

Each day had been the same; Mortmain would arrive early with an Automaton at his side, and demand that Tessa Change, rattling off taunts about Jem and insults to her family as bait- bait which she refused to take. She was beaten, and then, when she was too weak to carry herself back to her cage, the Automaton would lift her and put her there, where she would lie, closing her eyes to the pain, and recover just enough for her wounds to start to dry over- and then he would come again. The only interruption to this routine had come in the form of Susie, face pinched and bitter as she approached Tessa's cell, lagging behind the Magister as he was about to leave. She had witnessed the day's beatings, and at first, Tessa had assumed that her distorted features were the result of shock and horror at what had transpired. She soon realised that that wasn't the case at all. "I never figured you were one of them, Miss," she said, disgusted. "Them creatures of the unnatural world. Of course, you're not really, are you? You're something in between. He told me what you really are, you know. Good god, girl, how do you live with yourself?" "I- I am- wait, Susie, what did he tell you? What am I?" Susie laughed dryly, eyes filled with judgment. "I would tell you, drat, if the Magister were not so keen to keep you alive." "What does that mean?" Tessa said boldly, heart thumping faster. She knew. This servant, she knew what Tessa really was. And the way that she was looking at her, she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer. Susie smiled, an unpleasant, twisted smile. "My master fears that, if you were to learn of your true nature, you might try to take the easy way out, if you catch my meaning." Easy way out. Tessa shivered at those words. "I am not a monster," she said, as calmly and surely as she could. Susie had just shook her head, retreating into the hallway that led away from the miserable place. "If only you knew."

That had scared Tessa, almost more than anything else had- the thought that she was something so disgusting that she would sicken herself- that she sickened Susie- that she sickened Nate. Jem. His name was truly her only refuge in these days; the thought of him, his words, everything he had ever told her- each conversation played over in her mind so clearly that she could recall the cool, calm tone with which he spoke, always mild, never judging. Where Will and Cecily had turned away, she imagined Jem remaining, supporting her, egging her on, applauding her bravery- telling her to keep going. _"For me," he would say, laying his thin hands over hers. "Do it for me, Tessa. You are strong. You are the flame within the lantern. Show them how brightly you burn."_ Sometimes, when her eyes were closed, she honestly believed that he was there, right beside her. Then she would open them and he would be gone, as if he were imaginary; just a figment of her own mind. Only the taunts of the Magister assured her that Jem was alive- and kept somewhere there- somewhere close to where she was. Yet that thought alone made her strong enough to withstand it all without so much as a whimper. She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself- a poor substitute for Jem's- and stared at her feet, trying not to note the red scabs that had formed there from being dragged roughly across the floor. She could feel Will's eyes on her- always an unsettling feeling. Now it was almost unbearable. It had been days, and although she had told Will that Charlotte would be trying her best to find them, every moment spent in that cage sent her spiralling into doubt, and she found herself wondering if here was where she would meet her end. It almost seemed as if it would take something magic to make her okay again.

Magnus blinked in surprise at the band of Shadowhunters gathered at his door.

"What's the occasion, then?" he inquired. "I seemed to have missed the part where I handed out invitations. I don't remember organising a party- even if it is for my," he surveyed Henry with a polite gaze, "closest friends." The man appeared undeterred. "Sadly, any such party will have to wait," he said, almost apologetically, seeming to have missed the sarcasm; but his tone was such that Magnus did not point that out.

"We come to you under dire circumstances, and we require your assistance," Charlotte said, glancing past him into the house. "May we?" Magnus glared at her, waving at his attire. "At this hour of night? Dear god, it must be true what they say- Shadowhunters _never sleep_." "I understand you have some kind of a- bond to Will Herondale," Charlotte said abruptly. Magnus paused, blue eyes fixing on hers. "I have an interest in the boy, it is true," he mused. Charlotte inclined her head. "In that case, you will invite us in and you will hear us out, Magnus Bane- if not for the Accords, then for Will's own sake." At that, Magnus let out a reluctant chuckle.

"I never claimed to care for him," he said, but he moved aside and let them file through nevertheless- Charlotte, Henry, Gideon, Cyril, and Sophie Collins. "Oh, please, bring along the whole party," he said dryly. "I'm only in my dressing gown." "Quite a nice one, by the way," Henry said meekly. "Is that _emerald_ green, or a tad darker?" "Henry, dear, just don't," Charlotte said tiredly. Up close, Magnus could see just how tired she truly was- her eyes were lined with dark circles and lines, and her skin was pale and thin, her pregnant belly out of proportion to her tiny frame. But then, Magnus couldn't remember a time when he'd seen a Shadowhunter look well rested. "What is it that Mr Herondale has done now, then," he said, a little more kindly. At that, everybody seemed to pale in unison, and Magnus sighed, quickly cursing himself for endeavouring to be kind to Shadowhunters- it really didn't have a habit of working out for him. "It's not just William," Gideon spoke when it seemed that nobody else was going to. "It is James Carstairs. And the Miss Gray. We believe they are being held captive by the Magister, and we need your help to get them back. They left no traces...no...signs." He grimaced in frustration. Magnus nodded once, slowly taking it all in- expression most empty. "The Magister. I had suspected as much...and you've no clue as to where they are, I suppose? Your own people have accomplished nothing? Tell me, how long did you wait until you decided to consult the Warlock? It must have taken a while to unbend your pride."

"Magnus," Charlotte said imploringly. He just looked at her, not bothering to disguise his judgement. Not this time.

"I know you, Mrs Branwell," he said. "I know your dignity. And I want to know how long you have allowed my friend to remain missing without a trace before you came to me." His voice rose.

"Friend?" Sophie said, glancing at Magnus curiously. "Do you refer to Mr Herondale, Sir?"

Magnus waved her off impatiently. "I will never understand any one of you," he said, looking genuinely confuzzled. "you vow to protect people- to protect each other- and yet you prolonged the danger of Miss Gray and her companions just to preserve your own dignity." "That's enough," Gideon said cuttingly. "It may well be true that we might have consulted you sooner- but as of this moment, nothing can be done to change that. I need to know that you are with us. Will you help us find them before it is too late?"

Magnus shook his head gravely, gazing beyond Gideon at something the others could not see. "And if it is already too late? What then?"

Forgetting herself, Sophie burst out, "that is it, then? You will not help us?" Magnus looked at her, chuckling.

"So outspoken. I do love this era," he murmured.

"Don't concern yourself, Sophie," Charlotte acted as though he hadn't spoken, never letting her piercing eyes leave his. "He _will_ help us."

Magnus quirked at eyebrow, spinning to face her. "What makes you so sure?"

"I am sure that you will help us, Magnus Bane, for the same reason that you let us into your home tonight." She glanced at Henry, who looked as puzzled as everyone else.

"What reason would that be, dear?" he wondered aloud.

Charlotte smiled, a little sadly. "Because you let Will Herondale into your heart."

Jem didn't know how much time had passed before the angel appeared before him again. She came glowing, her movements graceful and her features glorious-but this time, he knew better than to believe it was his fiance.

"Cecily?" he spoke as clearly as he could; the world around him seemed to be buzzing and crackling- probably because of the fire that was bubbling in his veins, spreading poison through his body,distorting his senses. As she came closer, Jem was stricken by the blueness of her eyes- so very like Will's. Will. The familiarity brought a sense of comfort, and he clung to it, closing his eyes and conjuring up his parabatai with his imagination. The image of him came easily to Jem; after all, memories of Will, and memories of Tessa, were all he had to dwell on, here in this silent prison. "Jem." Her voice was musical, bringing him back to reality; or was it really reality at all? Jem didn't really know; it had been so long since he had heard another's voice, this could very well be a delusion. But the cool hands that pressed to his forehead next didn't seem to be a delusion. "Angel," she murmured. "You're burning up. Here- Jem, take this." She fumbled with something that his blurred vision didn't let him see, and handing him a package.

He smelt it first; the sweet, horrible, wonderful smell that was his bane and his lifeline- and a shudder coarsed through him. Yin fen. He took it in greedily, like a starving man might devour his last meal. He could feel it take affect even as he finished the packageful, the fire in his veins soothing, head clearing. He gasped for air, blinking at the anxious girl who now knelt beside him on the ground.

"Cecily?" he repeated. "Is it really you?"

She sighed. "I wish it wasn't. Yes. It's me, Jem. How are you feeling?"

He glanced down at his infected broken leg, wincing- but his head was clear, and he could make out his surroundings accurately- which was more than he could say before. The air was coming more easily to his lungs as the drugs took affect, giving him strength that he desperately needed. "Better. Thank you."

She ignored his gratitude. "Do you know where you are? Do you remember what happened?"

"The last thing I remember with any clarity is going to the Silent City with you and Will to see Tessa. But if I could hazard a guess, I'd say that didn't exactly go to plan."

She chuckled lightly. "I'm afraid not."

"Mortmain?"

She inclined her head in confirmation. "The Automatons ambushed us at the Silent City and took us to him. He's keeping Tessa, Will and I in cages somewhere downstairs- the place is something of a maze, so I can't be more specific than that. He isolated you."

"Tessa's alright, then?" he said, pulse quickening. "You've seen her?"

Cecily's hesitance was enough to send Jem into a world of worry.

"What is it? Has something happened? She's not...he hasn't..."

"She's alive," Cecily qualified. "And she has lost no free will- no sense of right or wrong. Her mind has not been poisoned. But...I would be lying if I told you that she was alright."

Jem inhaled sharply. "What has he done to her?"

Cecily glanced at him, concern etched into her features. "I don't know if you want to hear this."

"Tell me. Please. Please, Cecily." His voice was faint to his own ears. Tessa. Tessa. Tessa.

"She is being... tortured," Cecily said with a pale face. "Every day. The Magister comes down to the cages and demands that she Change. She never does, and so she is whipped- bashed- injured. Will and I have tried to convince her to cooperate," she added, at Jem's expression. "She refuses to. She believes that it would be dangerous- the Angel knows what would happen to the rest of the world if Mortmain finally got whatever it is he so desperately wants."

"Why?" Jem choked out after a moment. "Why doesn't she just- Angel, she was always so brave. Good God..." he tore his fingers through his hair, suddenly seeing red. He saw Tessa's face, solemn and stubborn as ever- saw her kneeling on the ground, gagged and held by a metal creature, still fighting, still trying. He threw his injured leg down in anger and scrambled onto his two feet, ignoring the pain. "I will kill him. I will kill that man. That Magister." He grabbed the wall for balance, limping along. "Which door, Cecily? How do I get out? I will destroy him. I will-"

"Jem," Cecily said quietly.

"-kill him, torture him, Mark him- he will be _Foresaken_ before he lays a hand on my wife-to-be again," he continued, rage spurring him onwards.

"Jem, stop it," Cecily said, laying a hand on his arm. He shook it off as though it stung.

"Don't _you_ touch me," he hissed, eyes still startlingly black. "You wouldn't understand. You don't know me. You don't know love._ I will kill that man for ever laying a hand on her_." He made a violent lurch forwards, and his broken leg faltered, crashing him to the ground in a sudden surge of pain. He let out a cry as he fell, crawling, trying to stand up again but falling short every time. Cecily moved towards him, but he threw out a hand in warning, harsh words spitting from his mouth. "Don't. I can do this. I will do this. He will regret the day he ever..." a sob racked his entire frame, cutting him short. He pounded a fist against the wall in frustration. He was shaking as the rage quickly melted into helplessness, and he sat, hunched over, looking terribly lost. For a third time, Cecily reached out to him, and this time, he let himself fold into her arms, hugging her back tightly, as though he never intended to let go. He held her, crouched on the floor, until the sobs halted and his heartbeat slowed.

"I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair.

"It's alright," she said indifferently, trying to ignore the flutter of her heart as his breath tickled her skin, for she knew it would do her no good.

"Really." He pulled back to look at her. "I was angry- but not at you. I didn't mean any of what I said to you. I am sorry you had to witness that."

"I am glad I did," she said. "I mean, I am glad that you were not here alone."

He chuckled. "I have been here alone for far too long, I think. It has given me short temper. It is just...where Tessa is concerned..."

"Hush. Don't think about it."

He sighed. "Alright then. Are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?" she tried to sound as light as she could; but when his eyes met hers, she knew she had been caught out.

"The Yin Fen. How you aquired it. Why you are able to visit me. I am not a fool, Cecily."

She stiffened in his arms, catching the meaning in his words. "I had no choice," she whispered at last. "He has my family."

Jem pat her back gently. "I know." She looked at him for a moment, the silence torturing her more than it should.

"You must think I'm simply awful," she whispered, drawing back from him slowly. "Betraying you like that...betraying my own brother... what is happening to Tessa is my fault."

"No," Jem said quickly, surprising her. "No, I do not think that at all. This is not your fault, Cecily. Don't think that it is."

She blinked at him. "I gave him information," she said blatantly. "I planted the book. It was all me."

"And yet, look at you now," he said gently. "Sneaking here, giving me a drug that I am supposed to be deprived of- helping me, telling me the truth- you are a protector, Cecily. You do what you must to protect your family- and now to protect me. The world is not so black and white as some may like it to be. Working for the Magister does not make you a bad person. Even Mortmain himself is not inherintly evil- he acts out of bitter grief for his lost parents. We do as we must to protect the ones we love. It is not a pretty truth. But it is true of the best of us nonetheless."

She looked at him, really looked, mouth parted slightly. She shook her head. "I don't believe it."

"Try to. It is the truth."

"No- I don't believe you. I don't believe that anybody could be so kind. You see the world differently to most people, Jem. How I'd adore to see it through your eyes- I would be a much nicer person for it, I'm sure." Her voice trembled.

"Be glad that you are not me, Cece," he said bitterly. "I am not a nice person. I am a dying one."

"Stop doing that," she said with a twinge of annoyance.

"Doing what?"

"It always comes down to this, doesn't it? Everything has to come down to your curse, and yet you do not allow anybody to try to find the cure for it. Why not, Jem?" She leant closer. "Will never told me why."

"Will doesn't know why." Despite his regaining health, he looked a little pale. "Do not concern yourself."

Cecily fixed him with a piercing gaze for a moment, then sighed, falling back away from him. "Very well then." Her tone shifted, suddenly short, all-business. "You should know that the Magister does not know that I had yin fen with me when I came to see you today. He doesn't like to let me visit, so I don't know when I can next come- but I will try to come soon, to bring you more. There are more than enough werewolves running about the place with the drug- I was able to scavange some away quite easily this morning."

"Werewolves?" Jem straightened up. "Cecily, that could be dangerous."

"There's nothing remotely safe about any of this, is there?" she muttered darkly.

He stared at her for a moment as though just seeing her for the first time. Then he snapped out of it. "Does Will know, then? That it was you who planted the book? Does he know about your parents?"

"No," she said. "I can't. Mortmain is still...employing me, so to speak."

"You are spying on them? Even now, when Mortmain has us all in his grip? Why does he feel he still needs a spy?"

"To ensure that they don't plan on escaping," she said bitterly. "Luckily, nobody talks so much anymore. It makes it harder for me to betray them. I fear what will happen if they do form an escape plan. I will be obliged to tell Mortmain all I know, for my family's sake."

"They are Will's family too," Jem reminded her. She shook her head.

"They are his parents," she said factually. "You are his family. You know that." She turned around, distracted by something else- and when she turned around, the brightness of her eyes had faded. "I must leave now- I must've draw suspicion."

"Oh." For some reason, the idea of being alone again scared Jem more than he cared to admit. "I suppose you must."

She caught his eye, managing a brief smile. "I will return when I can. Stay strong. You are not as alone as you think."

"I will remember that." He sighed, closing his eyes. "Goodbye, Cecily."

**So, what did you think? I know Magnus might've been a bit OOC- I wanted to show his dark side a little bit, but I don't think I did the best job of it. **

**Anyway, let me know what you liked/disliked about the chapter by reviewing! **

**Thanks!**


	21. Chapter 20: Question

**Hello fellow Shadowhunters/Downworlders. **

**Sorry about the wait, but I'm hoping it'll be worth it. I'm actually quite excited/nervous for you guys to read this chapter, not because I think it's fantastically written or anything, but because I've had the events of this chapter in my head for a verrrry long time. It's pretty eventful, which means a lot of it is kinda rushed, so at the end of the chapter I'll have an A/N explaining everything. But I hope you like it :). **

**As a side note, has everyone seen the City of Bones movie trailer? Personally, I think it looks incredible- different from the book, but it'll be awesome to see how they've adapted it. And may I just say, the Shadowhunter and there british accents!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except Susie, ****who is so horrible and boring that I will kill her off soon**

**Now, to the guest accounts who reviewed Chapter 20:**

ShadowKissed: **haha, you read my mind about Susie. She really is just a terrible person, isn't she? Also, you're right about Magnus. I don't think anyone except Cassandra Clare can really do him justice- he's so 'everything-at-once' in terms of personality, so he's so hard to understand to begin with. (Sidebar: I can't wait to see him in the movie!). Hope you like this chapter!**

Anonymous: **:) thank you! My plan is for this chapter to be 10 x the excitement, so I hope you like it!**

Monica: **hehe, I know, sorry about the long wait! Glad you liked the chapter- it really does feel like they've been trapped there for a long time, doesn't it? Anyway, this chapter is pretty dramatic, so tell me what you think of what happens! Also, I need your advice about how to continue- there's a question for everyone at the bottom! Thanks :)**

Gabriel Lightwood wiped his sleeve across his face, drying his forehead of sweat as he walked down the hall to the prisoners. He had been avoiding this for days now, but, as Tessa Gray refused to give in, Mortmain grew impatient. If the Automatons were ineffective, the Magister believed that Gabriel could wield some power over the girl- make her see sense. His mind took him back to the last time he had seen his student; her eyes defiant as she challenged his father, standing firmly behind Charlotte Branwell as though she belonged there, with the Showhunters. A Downworlder; although, despite what his father had taught him, he couldn't help but believe that she was not so different after all. Sure enough, the blood that had soaked into her dress looked human enough; no strange colour, no alien gleam to it; and the pain on her face, well, that was the same. All too human. All too real.

He averted his gaze and opened the gate to the great cage the moment he saw her eyes widen.

"Gabriel Lightwood? Is it really you?"

He did not answer her. "Get up. Get up, and hurry along, Miss Gray. I have questions for you."

She didn't move.

"Gabriel?"

It was another voice; one which Gabriel was quite accustomed to, and anger twisted inside him as he barked at Will. "Who else, Herondale?"

"Are you alright, Gabriel?" Tessa said unexpectedly, and at last he looked at her, meeting those earnest eyes.  
"Am I alright?" he said thickly. Someone else had asked him that question- the first time he had met her. He closed his mind to that memory, knowing it would do him no good to think about it.

"We know," she said gently. "We know about your fa-"

"Yes?" he interrupted. "I am aware of what he did. I am aware of what has become of him. There is no need to inquire as to that. Do as I say Miss Gray, for I grow impatient."  
Tessa lifted the remains of her skirts and obeyed, walking out to meet him, if a little warily. Her eyes flickered past Will, who was watching Gabriel with a most curious expression on his face. Cecily's cage was empty, and worry writhed her insides as she imagined Mortmain, holding her captive, away from them- hurt and alone.

"Are you working for him, then?" she asked Gabriel, tone cold. "are you working for the Magister?"

"No, I'm rescuing you," he said in exasperation. "_Of course _I am working for the Magister. You've got half a decent brain, Miss Gray- it would do you well to use it."

Tessa huffed. "My apologies. I might have known that you wouldn't have stood up for what is right. I suppose goodness is not heriditary."

He winced then. "Gideon is well then?" he said oddly. "My brother is alright?"

"All right?" Tessa said incredulously, but Will cut her off.

"Tessa, don't."

"Don't tell me what to do, Will," she said, but she said it tiredly, not even looking at him. Gabriel noted the hurt in Will's eyes, and he wondered what had befallen them that had caused Tessa to behave like this; so alarmingly absent, as though she cared for nothing and noone. She didn't even look at Will when he spoke. "I suppose you are here to torture me."

"I am here to retrieve information from you," Gabriel said. "And to persuade you to Change."

"Then I should tell you immediately, Gabriel, that is not going to happen," she said factually. _That is not going to happen. _He had heard those words before too- she had said them to him, when he had asked her if she loved him, blue eyes clear, still naive, despite all that had befallen her. _Blond curls brushed his face as he held her body close to his own, and he did not know if they were her tears on his chest or his own. _

He shook his head. "Come now, Tessa. Do you not see that you are making it harder for yourself? The Magister has no wish to harm you. Quite the opposite. He could ensure your safety- if you wish, he could even ensure the safety of your friends. All you have to do is Change once- just this once. Fighting it will only hurt you- and Mr Carstairs."

Tessa paled at the mention of Jem, but kept her lips pursed, silence stretching on as she refused to speak. _The silent treatment. _She _had kept her distance from him at first. Before she became a friend. Before she became his last hope. _

"Do not test me, Theresa," he said dangerously- wanting more than anything to warn her more than anything. He had no wish to harm her- but if she went on like this, what he wished would not matter, and he would make her skin bruise and bleed under the Magister's orders, and he would watch- just as he had watched_ her _die.

Tessa raised her chin defiantly, and his heart sunk. "So be it."

He reached into the belt at his hips and retrieved a simple, wooden rod. Tessa barely blinked at the sight of it; merely sighed, as though oddly contented.

Now there was a sight that was rarely seen; a Shadowhunter with a weapon and a Downworlder without- yet it was the Shadowhunter who had to close his eyes when he brought that weapon down on flesh. It was the Shadowhunter who winced and beggged that day- begged for a mercy all of his own- while the girl just stood, beaten and wounded, her head unbowed. There were three people watching this take place, two of them hidden from plain sight, and each of them unsure as to who was the victim in this situation. There was Will, fists curled in as he watched the woman he loved endure what he had promised her she never would; and then, high above, on a balcony overlooking the scene, unknown to those in the cages, were the Magister and Cecily Herondale, Cecily held by the back of the neck with sobs racking her small body, knowing that this was all her fault, and the Magister, a grimace on his face as he told her exactly that.

"Jessamine Lovelace?"

"Our Jessamine?"

"Why were we not informed of this sooner?"

"Jessamine," Magnus mused, tapping his finger on the rim of his tea cup and observing the panic of the couple with some amusement. Charlotte and Henry sat on the other end of the table, faces matching in their confusion. It really was rather adorable. "Her cell in the Silent City has been emptied- she was released on parole, if you will."  
Charlotte shook her head firmly. "That can't be. We are her guardians- if the term is applicable- in any case, it is this Institute that is her home. If she were to be released on parole, it would be by a Shadowhunter from this Institute. It is the Law."

"Not quite," Magnus said. "the Law says that one must be collected from the city of bones by a verified Shadowhunter. For Nephlim, you really don't know much about your own regulations, you know."

Henry put a hand on Charlotte's stomach, absentmindedly drawing her closer. "What does this mean, then? No Shadowhunter that we know of has gone to the Silent City. Has she been...kidnapped? Perhaps she was taken by the Automatons, when they took Tessa?"

"No," Charlotte said slowly. "the Silent Brothers checked all the cells that night."

"Apparently, not Jessamine's," Magnus said. "Brother Enoch sent me word that her cell has been empty for a most lengthy amount of time- at least two weeks. I would say the guards had been paid off by somebody to cover for her absence. The question that remains, as ever, is 'why'?"

"My only question right now is who did it?" Charlotte said, her voice growing shrill. "Who took Jessamine out?"

"As it happens, I can help you there." Magnus surveyed them both, as though deciding how much to tell them. "Does the name Gabriel Lightwood mean anything to you?"

Henry looked properly shocked. "Gideon's brother?"

"Heavens," Charlotte said faintly. "I had wondered what had happened to him- after what happened to Benedict. I suppose he is following in his father's footsteps."

Henry shook his head. "Gideon has not spoken a word about him. Rather odd, isn't it? They are family."

"Blood does not define family," Magnus said quietly. "I expect Gabriel is dead to Gideon- as my father is to me."

Charlotte narrowed her eyes. "Your father?"

Magnus let his head fall, and he chuckled. "Never you mind, Nephlim. My troubles are my own. Anyway, you need not worry about Miss Lovelace. I suspect she is dead by now- or well and truly on Mortmain's side. Either way, there is no use in your pursuing her any further. We must focus on finding Miss Gray."

"Finding where she is has been easy enough," Charlotte said, then, catching Magnus's look, she added quickly, "I mean, since you agreed to help us- finding the Dark Sister's Third House as his base was easy enough. It is retrieving her that will be most difficult. As you say, the House has many layers...we may require the help of the Clave."

"Your Clave have no place in this investigation," Magnus said sharply. "They will do nothing but stir up trouble, Charlotte. Loud, proud, naive Nephlim. You know better than to go to them for help."

"What would you suggest?" Charlotte said icily. "That we ask the Warlocks to help us? With your magics, and your trickery?"  
"How quickly you do judge us," Magnus mused. "But no, that is not exactly what I had in mind. I have a plan. A risky one- but a plan nonetheless. Hear me out, Shadowhunter. Tessa Gray's life my well depend on it."

Will was seeing red. Everywhere he looked, it was scarlet as blood, and he found himself feeling terribly ill. When he looked at Tessa, he saw red, and when he looked at Cecily's empty cell, he imagined her covered in blood, as he did Jem whenever he closed his eyes. He saw red when Gabriel, finally finished, escorted Tessa back to her cell, his shoulders hunched and his eyes squinted, as though he too could see it. Everywhere he glanced, it was as if his fear followed him, showing him what he dreaded. But he was still yet sane enough to know that it wasn't the end yet, so he stumbled to his feet and called to Gabriel with a rasping voice.

"Gabriel?"

"Herondale," he said blankly, not looking at him. Will grabbed the bars and leaned closer.

"Gabriel, I must speak to you," he went on. "I must apologise-"

At that, Gabriel spun on his heel, eyes wide and jaw trembling. The whip that he had used to hurt Tessa with was still in his hands.

"Apologise?"

"I behaved atrociously," Will said, "towards your sister, and towards you. I was young- young and foolish, and I apologise for my actions. I am sorry that I gave you reason to think ill of me, and I wish you to know that I do not think ill of you."

Gabriel stared at him for a moment, and Will felt unnerved. He had very rarely tried to earn forgiveness before- very rarely experienced that moment waiting for another person to accept an apology, or to reject it. Out of the corner of his eye, Will was aware of Tessa, beholding the two of them with exhausted eyes. He forced himself not to look at her.

"Why?" Gabriel said at last. "Why do you apologise, Will? And why now? Because you are locked up? Because you want me to help you?"

"Because it is never too late to ask forgiveness," he replied. "It is never too late to try to be better. It took me a long time to realise that- I thought perhaps it was time wasted- but I am here now, and I am saying that I am sorry, and I am trying."

Gabriel's mouth opened slightly, then closed again. He shook his head. "That you say that only means that you are less like me than I thought."

"No," Will said. "Trust me, Gabriel, it is not too late. Gideon is at the Institute. He is alright- but he misses you. Tatiana will return from her honeymoon soon- she will need you. You can go to Gideon. He will forgive you. You still have a family."

But Gabriel was still shaking his head, if a little sadly. "I have _nothing_." It was barely more than a whisper. He stared over Will's shoulder, right at the rusted brown poles that made up the back wall, and raised his voice. "Your friend, Jessamine Lovelace- she is dead."

Will looked at him, a sense of horror sinking over him. Jessamine. He hadn't even thought about her. He heard Tessa's gasp and knew that she had heard too.

"How?"  
"How do you think?" Gabriel said bitterly. "Mortmain. He caught her- us- trying to escape after he had me bring her here. I did try, William. I planned it all out. I thought we would make it. But he found us, and he killed her to punish me."

Will fell silent then aside from his own, heavy breathing.

"So, what do you think, Herondale," he said. "Are you going to tell me to try again? It is no use. I will be his faithful servant here for the rest of my days, and you will be his prisoners." He looked over his shoulder at Tessa, eyes shining with regret. "I am sorry." A half-sob wrenched from his throat and he began to walk away, out the corridor.

"Wait," Will called after him.

"I accept your apology, William," he said, without turning back. "But I'm afraid it doesn't change a thing. We are all prisoners in the end."

Cecily fought back the tears as she watched the scene below her, Mortmain's breath burning down the back of her neck.

"I suppose that's enough for one day," the Magister said finally, as they watched Gabriel walk away from the cells. "I must say, I'm impressed. I didn't think she would last as long as she has- at least, not without trying any funny business." He raked a hand across her cheek, nails digging in. "So unfortunate that I cannot say the same for you."

Cecily trembled, but her voice came out steady. "What do you mean?"

In one fluid motion, Mortmain snarled, shoving Cecily in through the door that had led them to the balcony overseeing the cages and ramming her into the wall there. "Don't lie to me," he hissed. "Do not assume that just because I am not there, I do not know everything that you say and do, Cecily Herondale, and I know that you stole yin fen. I know you gave it to him."

She froze for a moment, petrified, eyes glued to Mortmain's furious ones.

"Nothing to say for once, I see? That's alright, Miss Herondale, that is perfectly alright- I want you to listen to me without interruptions anyway. You see, I feel I have to inform you of a few facts." His lip curled to a grimace. "You are a bitch. You are a traitor, Herondale, in so many ways. You betray your friends by working for me, but by directly acting against me, you betray your family. Did you even think of them, young Shadowhunter? Did you think of what I would do to them if you tried anything? Because you're thinking about it now. It's too late. In the end, you were the one to screw them over." He clenched his fist around her chin, hard. "You."

She shook her head frantically, trying to free herself from his grip, but he was too strong. "Please," she spluttered. "Let my parents go- they cannot help you- we cannot help you. We will be out of your way, we won't interfere- if you just let them go... and let Jem go-"

Mortmain chuckled. "Let Jem go? Why, because you are in love with him? Don't look so surprised, child, love is the most obvious thing in the world to detect in young eyes. So painfully obvious. It's pathetic."

"The only reason you have him here is because of love," she spat. "Because he is Tessa's fiance, and you think that you can blackmail her through him. It is not the case."

"All in good time," Mortmain's eyes twinkled. "But you, dear, are not to see that boy again, is that clear?"

"What are you, my father?" she growled.

"No. But funny you should mention him. Food or water- which of those shall I starve him of next?"

"No!" Cecily cried; her whole body was shaking, and Mortmain had not released her. "You can't- please- you cannot- you have it all wrong!"

"I have _what_ all wrong?" Mortmain snapped.

Cecily shook her head in despair, scrambling for something, for anything. And suddenly the words poured out of her mouth without a second thought.

"She loves my brother. She loves Will. You have it wrong."

Mortmain stepped back and stared at her for a moment. A slow smirk started to spread across his face.

"Of all the riddiculous lies you have tried to sell me, Cecily, that is the most riddiculous. She is marrying James Carstairs- therefore James Carstairs is the one I hold captive. It's quite simple."

"It's wrong," she said bitterly. "He loves_ her_. There's a difference."

"One does not become engaged to a person one does not love."

"Yet you wish to marry her. Do you claim to love her?"

"That is completely different," his tone was acidic. "And none of your concern."

Cecily shook her head. "Fine," she said bitterly. "Do as you wish. Destroy who you want to. But let me ask you one thing. Let me be the next person. Put me in solitary confinement. Starve me. Kill me. Don't made me keep doing-_ this_. It's horrid. It's sick."

"So are you." In a flash, he scraped his nails across her face, leaving scratches bleeding like teardrops on her cheeks. "Out to the balcony with you. I want you to see everything that happens next. And you won't be seeing your lover Carstairs again, I guarantee you that."

"He is not my lover," she sniffed.

"Yet, apparently, he is not Theresa's," Mortmain said with dry amusement. He shoved her back onto the unstable balcony with a hard jab to the back. "You will stay here now. You have shown to be to reckless to allow near others."

"What are you going to do to him?" she said quietly.

Mortmain smirked, shaking his head at you. "You will see. Quite literally, I'm afraid."

"I don't understand why you're asking me this," Susie said for the umpteenth time, and Mortmain scowled at her.

"Never you mind my reasons, answer the question," he snapped.

Susie sighed, smoothing her pinafore down. "There's something going on between them, I'd guess. Not that I can imagine why. She's a monster, and he's too pretty to look at the likes of her."

Mortmain paced the red carpet, processing this new information. When Cecily had blurted out that Tessa loved Will, however desperate and false it had seemed, he had not been able to shake the suspicion from his mind. He had called in Susie for confirmation- if the Herondale girl was correct, it opened him up to range of new strategies- new ways to make Tessa break. After all, nothing he had tried had yet suceeded, and his patience was waring thin.

"You may go."

"Aye, Sir," Susie said, voice expressionless. She curtsied and left the room, taking a silver tea tray with her. Mortmain waited until she was gone before moving slowly and deliberately to his desk and sliding open the draw that he kept, just for precautions.

Then he drew out a gun.

"Where do you think Cecily is?"

Will stirred, glancing across at Tessa in surprise. The silence between them had stretched on for so long that only the useless racing of his own heart at the sight of her reassured him that he was not alone.

"I do not really care to think about it," he confessed. Tessa gave him a small smile.

"She will be alright. If she is anything like you- and I think that she is- she will be strong enough to withstand whatever Mortmain may try."

"You think that I am strong?"

He knew he shouldn't have said that; but it was better than continuing to talk about Cecily. As her absence became more and more noticable, it hurt more and more to guess what had befallen her. He shifted uncomfortably where he sat. While they had been allowed out to wash, there clothes had not been changed, and the material of his shirt sleeves was stiff with blood. He expected Tessa not to reply to that, and cursed himself instantly for driving her away when he could barely get her to look at him anymore- but she took him by surprise again. Perhaps she too could not stand the silence anymore.

"Of course I do," she said softly. "I have told you that before. No doubt I will tell you again oneday."

He shifted. "I am not as strong as you."

"Am I strong, or am I stupid?" Tessa shook her head. "I was so sure of what I was doing- but what if it would be better to just do as he asks? What if he really means no harm? If I go on like this, I am hurting Jem... perhaps you were right, Will. I am sorry I snapped at you before."

"I am sorry too," he said. "There is nothing right or wrong or easy about the choices you have to make now, Tessa, and I am so sorry that you have to make them at all. But I made you a promise."

"Well." A deep voice interrupted. "This is all rather touching." Mortmain emerged from the hall, face cast over by shadows, eyes bloodshot and wide. He walked closer- no, he stumbled, tripping over his own feet, and he was looking, for once, not at Tessa, but at Will. His usually tidy business suit was crumpled, and he smelled strongly of alcohol. In his hand, he held a black handgun. With a great wrench, he opened the door to Will's cage and grabbed him by the arm, dragging him clumsily across the room until the two were standing before Tessa, who had scrambled to her feet, eyes on the gun.

"What do you want?" Will said in a guarded tone.

"A little too composed for my liking," the Magister commented. Within a second's notice, he had rammed the gun into the side of Will's head with a loud smash. Will yelled out in surprise and pain as blood began to appear from the gash there, and he reeled over, hands on his knees. Tessa stepped forward instantly, wrapping her hands around the bars.

"Will, are you alright?" she cried out.

He nodded gruffly, standing tall again and looking at the Magister.

"Foollish of you, really," he said, "to let a Shadowhunter loose without your precious automatons at your side."

"You are unarmed," Mortmain appeared unfazed.

"Even so- I am stronger than you."

At that, the Magister grinned the Will- and not very nicely, at that.

"Now there is a theory I'd like to test." With rough blows, he elbowed Will in the torso, only to crash the gun yet again into his head. When Will simply stumbled to his knees in response, Tessa's mouth parted, horror freezing her on the spot. Will never did that. He was Will Herondale, the boy who bit a vampire, the boy who barely flinched as shards of glass were pulled out of his back- the one who nobody could ever stop from fighting. And now he was brought to his knees by a mundane.

"What have you done to him?" Tessa demanded, as Will coughed blood. She looked away, not wanting to see him like this- for it would surely break her.

"Who do you think has been providing your water, Herondale?" the Magister said gleefully. "A friend of mine was able to concur a substance that would counter the effects of a Shadowhunter's natural strength. Everything you consumed has been spiked with it. You have no power here." He cracked the barrel of the gun down, this time on Will's shoulder, and he gasped in pain, eyes widening. Tessa was sure she'd heard a bone crack. There was a click, and suddenly the gun was aimed at Will's temple. "Don't," the Magister breathed, "move." Once Will's hands were both in the air, he shifted in head so he was facing Tessa. "You," he said. "You will answer me this question, and if you answer incorrectly, you will watch him die."

Tessa whimpered, suddenly panting, as though all the air had gone from the room. She looked at Will, face caked in blood and dirt, eyes still blue and right on her. She had never seen anybody look as helpless as he did, not in her entire life.

"Where is Cecily?" she found herself saying. "What have you done to her?"

"Do not change the subject, Theresa, I will not be distracted," Mortmain said. He was less composed than Tessa had ever seen him before, and that frightened her. She let out a dry sob.

"No," she whispered. "No, please."

"Do not beg me, child. It is your hands that his life lie in, not my own. It is your hand on the trigger." He leant forward, dragging Will savagely with him. More blood trickled down his face, making a puddle on the floor. "Now tell me, do you love him?"

All she could hear was breathing- her own, ragged and frantic, Will's slow and long, Mortmain's uneven and racked with short laughs.

He was laughing when he replied, his eyes mad. "Don't just stand there. My, don't you look shocked. It's a simple yes or no answer, do you love this man or not?"

"I don't understand," she said, shaking her head.

"Oh," Mortmain said, eyes filled with fake sympathy. "Isn't that a shame." He drove the gun barrel into Will's ribs, and with four sharp jabs, Will had fallen completely over. He tried to scramble to his feet, but Mortmain stood on his leg, grimacing as Will struggled. "He's got courage, I'll give him that. Is that why you love him?"

"Why are you asking me this?" she asked, and even to her, her voice sounded shrill. She scrabbled to her knees, to where Will was on the other side of the bars, hands reaching frantically towards him. "Will!"

There was another 'crack', and Will rolled over, catching up against the gate, facing away from Tessa. Taking her chance, she reached her arms through the bars to shield him, hugging her to him through them as tightly as she could. A teardrop on her shoulder told her that she was crying, and indeed, loud, terrible sobs were escaping her mouth. "Please," she was saying. "Please, I beg you, let him go."

"ANSWER THE QUESTION," Mortmain roared. "Do you love him?" he grabbed Will's face in his hands and turned it so Tessa could see him, a bruise forming under his closing eyes. When Tessa did nothing but cry, Mortmain's finger began to press down on the trigger.

"Stop, don't!" she screamed. "I love him, please! I love him!"

Mortmain froze, staring at her intently. "Say that again," he said. "Slower."

"I love him," she said, powerless. She was trembling, her hands outstretched to Will. She glanced down at him, only to be met with the widest eyes she had ever seen. Will was shaking too, and she wasn't sure if it was because of his injuries, or because of something else. After all, he was no block of ice. Anybody listening would know that Tessa meant every word that she said- every word that she had never intended to say to Will Herondale. Words that might just have gotten him killed.

"I said that your answer would determine whether he lived or died," Mortmain said slowly. Tessa looked up at him, already on her knees, and she pulled her shaking hands together in prayer- something she rarely did these days.

"Please," she gasped. "Please."

And so it was that Mortmain, with some form of passion that Tessa did not understand, dropped the gun with a clatter, rasping for air. Tessa let out a heavy sigh of relief, and hugged Will to her, pressing her face to his through the bars.

"Will?" she said. "Are you alright, Will?" she was still crying. "I am so, sorry, Will, I'm so sorry."

He was so limp in her arms that she would've thought he was unconscious if it weren't for the one word he whispered. "Tess."

At that, Tessa half-laughed, half-sobbed, and she looked up at Mortmain, simultaneously afraid and furious. To her surprise, he wasn't glaring down at them, or laughing, either. No, the Magister, for once, looked quite lost in his own prison, just standing there, his gun beside him on the ground. Without another word, he turned around and started his clumsy way away from them, taking the stench of alcohol away with him and leaving Tessa clinging to Will, free from his cage.

"God, Will," she was saying. "I'm so sorry." She said it blindly, not knowing what she was apologizing for. Wordlessly, he began to hug her back, barely, but with all the strength he had left. And still, Tessa cried. She cried because she had come so close to seeing Will be killed before her eyes. She cried because he was weak, and the thought of a weak Will frightened her. She cried because she had spoiled everything between them by telling him the truth today, and she cried because she had no idea what came next. But most of all, she cried because however wrong it was, however dreadful, she couldn't help but feel happy that Will was in her arms again, even if there were bars pressed between them. It was just her and Will.

Of course, above them, there was a girl, hopeless as she watched them, wondering what on earth would become of Jem's heart if he were to witness such a scene.

She did not know that there was another hidden balcony, directly above her own, and she certainly did not know that Jem had indeed seen everything- held still by two Automatons so that he would not miss a moment. She didn't know that his heart was breaking- confused and hurt and hopeful all at once.

"Tessa," he whispered, so quietly that even the Automatons, were they human, would barely have heard it. "I'm so sorry too."

**If you are a Jessa fan, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME. **

**If you are a Wessa fan, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME FOR IT HAPPENING THAT WAY.**

**It's all Mortmain's fault, I swear! (well, and sort of Cecily and Susie's.) **

**So, basically, so nobody's confused, in this chapter we established that Gabriel has been working for the Magister. Part of that work included retrieving Jessamine from the Silent City and trying to get to cooperate, but Jessamine was- well, Jessamine, and she didn't cooperate with the Magister. She and Gabriel became good friends to say the least, and they tried to escape together. This all ended with Jessamine being killed, something which is haunting Gabriel. (I know that all seems really rushed- they'll be further flashbacks etc. to clarify it all.)He doesn't want to work for Mortmain, but he feels he can't escape. Meanwhile, Magnus is on top of things and has a plan to rescue everyone (FINALLY). Hopefully everything else was pretty clear, though.**

**Anyway, this is the part where you guys come in! Next chapter I'm planning to have their rescue party come to save them. However, I'm not sure whether or not to write a conversation between Will and Tessa before they arrive about what just happened, or whether to just have Magnus and co arrive from the start (aka: the Wessa scene ends as it does in this chapter). **

**I really want to know what you think, so please review! :) Thank you. **


	22. Chapter 21 Escape

**Hi guys! So, after a collective shout of "WESSA SCENE", I started off this chapter with a bit of Will/Tessa for you :P. Sorry this chapter's taken so long- I really don't have much of an excuse- the only thing I've been busy with is fangirling over various awesome shows/people… but here it is, anyway. I'll admit, the middle/last section of this isn't my finest work- it was very rushed as the original chapter got deleted somehow and I had to quickly rewrite it all- and I'm almost certain there's some incorrect spelling/Shadowhunter terminology in here, so if you see any mistakes- sorry, but I think from context you should be able to get what I mean, anyway. Thanks for sticking with the story so far, and don't forget to tell me what you think with a review! Now to the lovely guest accounts who reviewed the last chapter:**

Guest: **haha message received **** don't worry, I have no plans to kill Will… yet. *evil laughs***

Guest: **yeah, Tessa's morality is really not top notch in this situation- but hey, it's a love triangle :P. I don't know what Cassie's planning for Cecily in terms of whether she should get with Gabriel or anything (although that would be pretty cool), but not in this version of the story. She's not actually 'with' Jem, though. **

Monica: **Hey! Haha, I hope you completely demolished that bug :p thanks so much though! I was pretty excited to get that chapter up there and see what people thought of it, so I'm really glad you liked it. I have absolutely taken your advice with this one, too, so prepare for some Wessa !**

Wessa4lyfe: **thanks so much **** I try to write like Cassie as much as I can, and regardless of what people think of the plot/story, to me it's really important that it's written well, so thank you, really ****. Tessa/Will scene coming right up!**

Wessa123: **Thanks! Team Wessa's going pretty strong at this point…but the love triangle ain't over yet ****… *mysterious evil eyes***

She didn't know that she was crying until Will's fingers brushed the tears from her face, hand warm as it had ever been.

"Tess," he said gently. "Tess, there is no need to be like that. I'm quite alright. Not that… I mean, not that you would be worried about that."

She glanced at him then, brow furrowed.

"What do you mean not that I would be worried about that? Will, Mortmain just… I thought you were going to _die_, Will." She shook her head, pulling him closer. The bars were pressing hard against her skin, and subconsciously, she knew that later she would have bruises to show for it, but Tessa had been bruised so many times and so badly here that she didn't mind.

"I don't understand," Will said huskily.

"What don't you understand?"

He looked at his feet, drawing in a ragged breath. "Why did you say it, Tessa?" even his voice was trembling. "Was it because you thought that he would spare Jem if you said that you loved me? Or was it that you thought that he would be less likely to kill me if you said it?" He finally looked at her, his eyes very blue. "I am no fool, Tessa. No- wait, that is exactly what I am. I am a fool in love with you, and I know that you will never love me back. I know you will never say those words to me again. I just need to know why you said it this time. Please."

Tessa inhaled sharply. It was like it had been in the library, when everything around her had gone blurry and all she could see was Will. All she could think about was Will. But last time that happened, she was sure that she had been drugged, or at the very least drunk. Maybe Mortmain had drugged her now, as he had drugged Will. But she didn't care. She couldn't bring herself to care. All she cared about was Will, and the question he had asked her.

"I didn't want to say it," she said. "I didn't think I would ever say it, not to you. But I… I never imagined that there would be a situation like this."

His mouth tightened. "You mean what Mortmain did? The ultimatum, with my life at stake? You thought that he would spare me if you lied?"

"No."

Will looked like he was in physical pain. "Jem?"

Tessa flinched. She couldn't think about_ him_ now. She shook her head again.

"It wasn't any of that, Will," she said softly. "It was you."

"Me?" Will looked stunned, and Tessa hid a small smile.

"Yes, you, silly," she said. "It was the way you were… Will, you have always been so strong. Annoying and obnoxious, I might well add, but always strong. You have always fought back, with everything. You have always_ tried_. Even when you aren't literally fighting back, you use words. But just now, when Mortmain came in here, you did nothing. You couldn't fight back, but you didn't _say_ anything, either. It scared me, Will, because you have never been like that before- so helpless, and I couldn't think straight."

"So you panicked, and you lied," he said softly. Tessa bit her lip.

"No," she said, firmly as she could. Her whole body was shaking; trivial as it was, she actually felt nervous. "No, I didn't lie, Will."

"Yes you did," he said unevenly. "You…you can never love me. You told me that."

"Did I?" she mumbled. "Will, I never said that to you. I just didn't correct you when you assumed it. I'm sorry for that, Will, you will never know how truly sorry I am. But you must know… I did_ not_ lie to Mortmain today."

Will stared at her for a long moment, and she looked determinedly back. She had avoided those eyes for far too long, and now she was finally looking at him, neither one of them could quite contain their tears.

"You don't have to say that," Will said, alarmingly pale. "You don't have to… if you pity me-"

"It is nothing like that," Tessa said. "Will, don't you… don't you believe me?"

_You don't…believe me?_ Will had said that to her when he had told her he loved her for the first time. Now Tessa knew how he felt.

Will covered his face with his hands agitatedly. "I thought you… it doesn't make sense."

"Of course it doesn't make sense," she said bitterly. "Do you think I wanted to fall in love with you? There is nothing logical about it! That doesn't mean it is not real. Will, I have loved you for…for I don't know how long. I loved you on the roof, even when you said all of those terrible things to me. I loved you when you were cold, and I loved you when you were kind. I loved you when we talked about books, and about Sydney Carton. And when you told me about the Curse, I loved you more than I think it is possible for one person to love another. But it was useless. It _is _useless."

"Say it again," Will said at last. His face was empty.

"Will," Tessa eyed him in concern. "Are you alright?"

He didn't say anything, just took her hands in his. "I love you," he whispered. Tessa stroked the back of his hand, eyes closed. She leaned her forehead against his.

"I love you too," she said. Will's eyes widened, and he gripped her hands even tighter.

"Say that again," he said. "Please."

"I love you," Tessa repeated, willing him to believe her. She kissed his cheek. "I love you." She kissed the other. "I love you." She kissed his forehead. She didn't kiss his lips- not straight away, anyway. She had done that before, and she needed him to know that this was different. So when at last she came to his lips, she just pecked them softly, the whisper of a kiss, yet still the fire in her veins seemed to ignite-

"Good god! Do you two_ ever_ stop kissing?"

Tessa froze in shock, and fell back from Will. Standing just metres away, leaning against a wall, was Mortmain, an amused look plastered across his face. In a heartbeat, Tessa pulled Will against her, her arms reaching through the bars to defend him. He had turned around now, so that he too could see the Magister.

"Mortmain," she hissed. He grinned, and Tessa noticed that we was wearing different clothes to what he had been wearing before; not to mention, he had calmed a lot from the last time she had seen him.

"Don't judge a book by its cover, dear." Suddenly, Mortmain began to shudder and twitch. Will tensed, and Tessa locked her arms around him, keeping him as close as she could. Her eyes were wide, her heart racing, as she watched on, not knowing what was happening. Mortmain wasn't just shaking, he was changing, his arms growing and his spine stretching, his skin changing its tone in a grotesque manner until an entirely different person stood before them, panting and swimming in too-big clothes. Tessa opened her mouth wordlessly, utterly confused. It was Will who broke the silence.

"_Magnus_?"

The Warlock grinned at the two of them as he caught his breath.

"William. Long time no see. What the devil have you two gotten yourselves into this time?" he leaned around the side of Will and smiled at Tessa. "Hello, Miss Gray."

"Magnus." Tessa scrambled to her feet at once. "Whatever are you doing here? How did you find us?"

Magnus sighed dramatically. "Oh, Theresa. A little slow on the uptake, aren't we? I'm here to rescue you of course, and I got in by the useful and never out-dated art of disguise. It's really not so complicated."

"How did you do that?" Will asked. "You Changed, like Tessa does- but I thought that was a talent for Eidilons."

Magnus inclined his head. "So it is. It just so happens that I have a very good friend who is an Eidilon. Owed me a favour, as it happens. I borrowed his power for the day."

"Borrowed power?" Tessa said curiously. Magnus waved his hands impatiently.

"I sneak in to break you out of this horrid place at an ungodly hour, and this is what I get? A stream of questions? No massive thank you? No, 'oh, Magnus, how wonderful to see you'? Alright then."

"Wonderful to see you? You did give us quite a fright there," Will pointed out.

Magnus rolled his eyes, and, snapping his fingers, unlocked the gate between Tessa and Will.

"Do hurry along, Miss Gray, we really need to be going now."

Tessa glanced at Will, and Magnus added, "or would you prefer it if I left you here to continue kissing?"

"We weren't kissing," Tessa said, cheeks reddening. Then, at the disappointed look on Will's face, she added, "that much." Tessa creaked the door open, leaving the cage. She was still holding Will's hand, and she suddenly became aware that her dress was very much ripped and revealing. She flushed. At that, Magnus became all-business, turning his back and walking through the corridor that Mortmain had come through so many times before.

"Alright now, follow me. Listen: Mr Mortmain has been led to believe that there is a problem with one of his projects abroad. He left moments ago to investigate, but when he finds out that he's been led on a wild goose chase, he will return. Given that he can travel in seconds thanks to that curious ring of his, we don't have any time to lose. The two of you stick close and be quiet. There are still plenty of Automatons around, and undoubtedly he has some demons working for him as well."

"We have to find James and Cecily before we leave," Will said, and Tessa remembered with a jolt that her fiancé was still there- somewhere. How could she have forgotten to mention that? Guilt coursed through her. She let go of Will's hand. He looked sideways at her, hurt flashing in his eyes, but he said nothing.

"Your Shadowhunter friends are already looking for them," Magnus said. "You thought I would come in alone, Herondale? I do value my own life, you know."

"Henry is here?" Will asked.

"Henry, his extremely opinionated wife, Charlotte, the Lightwood boy, and the servant," Magnus said.

"Charlotte?" Tessa said with a start. "Surely it isn't wise for her to be here? She's pregnant."

"Really? I never would've thought of that," Magnus said sarcastically. "She was too stubborn to take anyone's advice."

"Charlotte is like that," Will said.

"She is selfless," Tessa nodded.

"It is unbecoming," Magnus snorted, and they rounded a corner. The light was very bright when they came into the area of the house that Tessa had first seen. There was carpet on the floor and art on the walls, with lamps tastefully providing a glow to them as they walked.

"Magnus, I must find my sister," Will said. "You take Tessa out of here- but I cannot leave without her or James."

Magnus sighed in exasperation. "What was I just saying about selflessness, William?"

"I am not being selfless," Will said. "I need Jem, and I need Cecily. I need them for me. There is nothing selfless about it."

"Well, then, don't be so stupid," Magnus said. "Your friends will find them, and you'll see them when we're all out of here."

"I need to make sure that they get out of here safely," Will said. "I will be alright. Take Tessa-"

"Oh, no you don't," Tessa said. They had stopped walking now, and were standing in a triangle, all yelling at each other. "I'm not going to be safely escorted out of here, and you are not going to find them alone. What are you thinking, Will? Magnus has stripped you of your strength, and you're injured- you wouldn't stand a chance against an Automaton alone."

"I would stand more than a chance," Will glowered at her. "I am not weak, and I will find them. Now please, Tess, for once, go with Magnus and get yourself out of here."

"I will not," she huffed. "Jem is my fiancé, and I will go with you to find him."

Will flinched at that, but Tessa, suddenly unreasonably angry, didn't care all too much.

Magnus cursed under his breath. "Has anyone ever told you that you're the worst damsels in distress ever encountered? Usually when you're being rescued, you're grateful to the heroine and you go along with him to safety, no questions asked."

"I am not a damsel in distress," Will and Tessa countered at the same time. Magnus ran his hands through his hair, exasperated.

"Shadowhunters," he growled. "You are all so-"

"I am not a Shadowhunter," Tessa said.

"So why are you acting like one?" Magnus said. "You are not one of them- however much you want to be now, they will die, and you will live on forever, like me-"

"Don't say that," Tessa paled.

"She doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to," Will said, and Tessa turned on him.

"Doesn't that mean that you should let her do what she does want to do? Like let her find Jem-"

"Worried about me... fiancé?"

It was Jem. James Carstairs, his hair glowing white under the lamps, limping on one leg, his eyes diluted. Tessa felt faint.

"Jem," she whispered, and she hurried to him, hugging him gently- for she feared that otherwise, he might break- he looked so fragile. "Oh, Jem, thank goodness! I was so worried about you." It was as if seeing him- finally seeing him again, brought back all the lonely and terrible nights spent in that cage, not knowing what had happened to him- not knowing anything, but caring so much. She felt her eyes sting, and she looked into one of the lamps to stop herself from crying.

"And I you." There was something wrong with his voice; it was muffled, somehow, as though he was suppressing something. She drew back, hands still on his shoulders.

"Jem, are you -?"

"Will!" Cecily burst out, running across to hug her brother. Will doubled back in surprise, slamming into a wall.

"Ouch," he said reproachfully, but he hugged her back. Tessa glanced over to where both Cecily and Jem had emerged from. There stood Charlotte, Henry, Cyril and Gideon, all in gear and armed with a variety of weapons at the belt.

"Charlotte!" Tessa cried, and she stepped away from Jem, allowing Will to go up to him.

"Carstairs," Will pat Jem on the back. "It's been too long. How're you holding up?"

"I will live," Jem said colourlessly. Will squinted at him.

"What happened to you? You look terrible. As if you've seen a ghost."

"I've seen something that scared me, that is true," Jem said. He barely met Will's eyes.

Will's hand tightened on his shoulder.

"What-"

"WILL, JEM, LOOK OUT!" Cecily shrieked. Will turned around in time to see a flash of silver. In a heartbeat, he pulled Jem with him out of the way, narrowly missing the swerve of the Automaton.

"Gideon," Charlotte said, and the Lightwood boy raced forwards, naming his seraph blades as he did.

"Serves you for all the racket you were making," Magnus bellowed as he too whipped out some kind of weapon- Tessa thought it looked like a staff of some kind.

"Behind you, there are more!" Tessa warned him, and Magnus spun around, blue light throbbing from the tip of the staff, seeming to singe the metal men.

"INTRUDER. INTRUDER. INTRUDER. INTRUDER." The metallic hum carried on. In a panic, Tessa whirled around, counting the Automatons. Gideon and Cecily were fighting two away from Will and Jem, each as helpless as the other. Magnus was holding off three, and Cyril, Charlotte and Henry were facing another two. The cold feeling of metal on skin made her gasp suddenly; an eighth automaton came from behind her, locking it's arm around her neck. In an instant, Charlotte drew two seraph blades, slicing through the mechanical shoulder blades so that its grip on Tessa became limp.

"Thank you," she spluttered, and Charlotte spared her a small smile before darting back to fight off another Automaton. Wasting no further time, Tessa took hold of the Automatons' inactive arm and swung it towards one of the Automatons attacking Magnus, metal scraping against metal. It fell back for a moment, and Magnus turned his staff on it, burning it down.

"Ever and always helpful, Miss Gray," he shouted over the noise.

"We have to get everybody out of here before the Magister returns," she yelled back.

"That's what I was trying to tell you," Magnus said. Tessa rolled her eyes, turning to the others and raising her voice.

"Gideon! Which way out?"

Halfway through slashing an Automaton across it's metal torso, Gideon gestured to the left, where Tessa saw a narrow set of white stairs headed up.

"Up the stairs, turn to the right, and out the door," he called. Tessa nodded.

"On my count, everybody head to the stairs," she shouted. "One, two-" Tessa yelped in shock as a bracelet of blood appeared around her wrist where an Automaton lashed out at her. "Three!" Clutching her wrist, she began to run, half tripping on her way to the stairs. Ahead of her she could see Will and Jem half-carrying each other up each step, with Cecily right behind them. Jem turned around briefly, meeting her eyes.

"Tessa, Cecily, hurry!" he panted, and he turned around again, dragging his bad leg up after him. Tessa glanced behind her. She could see Gideon and Magnus standing at the foot of the stairs, fighting off Automatons and gesturing for Charlotte and Henry to hurry after him.

"Get her out of here, Henry!" Gideon was saying, and Henry was ushering Charlotte away from the fight, saying something to her very quickly. Charlotte brushed the hair from her eyes, shaking her head.

"We can't leave them alive, Henry," she said. "Don't you see? We can't let them tell the Magister-"

"Lottie!" Henry said. "For once, will you please get yourself to safety?" He grabbed her arm. Charlotte wrenched away agitatedly.

"How many times must I tell you, I can take care of mys-oh!" Charlotte made an odd sound, eyes widening. Then she fell to her knees, revealing the tall Automaton that stood behind her, bearing a silver knife sticky with scarlet.

"Charlotte!" Henry cried out, and it was suddenly as if everything was happening in slow motion. Henry's shout was a terrible, broken sound, the only sound that was clear to anyone. The rest of it- Will's curses, Tessa's shrieks, Magnus' warnings, they were nothing but blurs- in the background somehow. All that was clear was the scene in the middle of the hall, blood from the ugly slash across Charlotte's pregnant stomach turning the carpet a deeper red, soaking through. Charlotte's eyes were open and dry, her mouth agape. Henry had fallen to his knees with her, and was grasping at her hands, speaking to her, pleading. "Charlotte! Charlotte. Angel, no. God, no. Please. God, what happened?"

"H…Henry," Charlotte croaked. Her face went slack then, eyes closing, and her body slumped forwards.

"Charlotte…Charlotte…no," Henry panicked. "No…"

He gathered her against his chest, still talking, words that nobody could quite make out. Nobody else moved. It was as if they were all frozen for a moment, stuck without any capability of motion. It was Magnus who broke the spell.

"Look out!" he said, turning his staff quickly on the Automaton that had stabbed Charlotte just as it came towards Henry. He put a hand on his shoulder, pulling him upwards. "Look now, we have to be moving. Get your wife and get up those stairs. Do you understand me?" Henry shook his head, face blank.

"Charlotte," he said softly, staring at his wife.

"She is not dead, Henry," Magnus said. "Not yet. But she will be if you don't pull yourself together and get us all out of here. Move." He turned to Tessa, Cecily, Will and Jem, still frozen on the stairs. "Go on then, the lot of you! Keep moving! You're risking more than your own life by lingering." Will looked at him then, and there was a grim fire in his eyes that told him that Magnus spoke from experience.

"You heard him," Will said, drawing his last ounces of strength. "Hurry." He spurred onwards, dragging Jem with him, forcing himself not to look back. Behind him, Cecily and Tessa followed suit, each glancing backwards at the others. Sure enough, Henry was gathering Charlotte to his chest, carrying her towards the stairs at last. Gideon and Magnus stayed below, defending him against the last, stubborn, Automaton that remained standing until at last Gideon dissembled it's head.

"Well executed, Lightwood," Magnus said. Gideon nodded gruffly and made for the stairs, even as a familiar voice interrupted the silence.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Gideon straightened his back and turned around, suddenly pale. "Gabriel?"

His brother looked terrible. The worst Gideon had ever seen him, and Gideon had been with Gabriel through some terrible times indeed. Not that he was injured- he wasn't. It was his eyes. They were red from crying, and his skin was almost transparent. Gideon also noticed that he had no marks.

"Gideon." Even his voice sounded weak. "What are you doing here?"

"We were rescuing Miss Gray and the others," he said. "I assume you are here as a favour to Mortmain?"

Gabriel looked as if Gideon had slapped him. "Favour?"

"Gideon." Magnus looked between the two of them. "When I told everyone to hurry, I meant you as well. The others might well be out the door by now, and we mustn't make them wait. Charlotte must be taken to the Institute."

"Did something happen to Charlotte?" Gabriel asked, sounding oddly concerned. Gideon glared at him.

"Why would you care?" he spat. "You practically made it happen. You made your choice."

"I didn't want to hurt anyone," Gabriel said. "You have to believe me, I didn't…"

"No," Gideon said. "You can't do that. You can't play innocent, Gabriel. I gave you a choice. You chose Mortmain. You chose to be part of this." He gestured at the pool of Charlotte's blood on the carpet, at the ruins of the Automatons, the organs stored inside them sprawled across the floor with chunks of metal.

"I just wanted to stay with my family," Gabriel's voice shook. "I didn't know it would be like this. Did you know that he killed father?"

Gideon didn't flinch. "The man had it coming." Gabriel shook his head.

Gideon sighed, looking at Magnus, who was getting more venomous by the moment. "I don't have time for this. We have to get to the others. Goodbye, Gabriel."

He made for the stairs, Magnus following him, flashing Gabriel a cold smile.

"Wait!"

Gideon turned around in exasperation. "What?"

"You came to rescue them," Gabriel said. "…take me with you too. Please."

Gideon hesitated, surprised. "Why?"

"Because I don't like it here," Gabriel said. "because I finally know… look, Gideon, I am not you. I didn't know the things that you did, when Charlotte Branwell came and told us about father's Demonpox. But now father is dead, and I have seen terrible things… I tried to escape before. I just want us to be family again, Gideon. Please."

Gideon stared at his brother for a long moment. Then he scowled. "Well, hurry up, then. You've wasted enough time."

Gabriel started forward, wonder and happiness chasing each other around on his face. "You'll take me with you?"

"Only if you hurry," Gideon said, not looking back to see if Gabriel was following him. The loud, fast footsteps on the stairs told him that he was. Magnus cast a side-look towards Gideon, his eyebrows raised.

"Shadowhunters," he muttered. "You and your family dramas."

Gabriel caught up with them when they reached the top of the stairs, and he grinned at Gideon.

"So, dear brother," he said, "what have I missed?"

"Where are they?" Tessa looked back anxiously. "We cannot leave without them." She was seated in the Institute carriage, peering back towards the beautiful house that had been her prison for so long. It was not like the Black House- not its exterior, anyway. No, this structure looked fairly modern and genuinely classy. If she had passed it by obliviously she might've envied the rich and undoubtedly happy family that must live there. Now she knew better, and the sight of it made her shiver.

"To hell we can," Henry said, not taking his eyes off Charlotte's unconscious form. The two of them were crushed into the corner of the carriage, Charlotte laid out across his lap. He didn't let anybody near her- he was too frightened that if they moved her the wrong way, it would hurt her more. As it was, the cut in her abdomen looked awfully deep. "Charlotte needs help- we must get her to the Infirmary and summon the Silent Brothers. Jem needs healing, and Will is exhausted, and we must get you out of here. Magnus Bane has magic, anyway. He can transport them out of here."

"What would Charlotte do, Henry?" Will said. "She would be appalled if we left anybody behind."

"I fear Mr Herondale may be right, Mr Branwell, Sir," Cyril said apologetically. "Miss Charlotte would never leave anyone behind."

Cecily shook her head in frustration. "But isn't there anything we can do?" she looked at Charlotte's wound, growing paler by the moment. "Surely an _iratze_-"

"We cannot risk using an_ iratze_ just now," Jem explained. "Not without knowing more about the nature of her wound…it may hurt her baby." Henry closed his eyes tightly.

"The baby. Oh god," Cecily said, horrified. Will moved to put his arm around her. Tessa looked to Jem, but he just brushed off her gaze- almost as if it stung him. Before she could ask him what was w wrong, however, a loud noise came from inside the house. A shrill scream that Tessa could just make out.

"_What in God's name are you…monsters doing in my master's house? Gabriel? Gabriel! What are you doing? Where are the prisoners?"_

Tessa straightened up at once. "Susie."

"Who?" Jem asked.

"The maid- she works for Mortmain," Tessa said.

"Mundane," Will added.

"I suppose that tells us where Gideon and Magnus are… wait, did she just say 'Gabriel'?"

"He's working there too," Tessa told him. "For Mortmain. Not that…at least, I don't think he seemed to eager to do so." She looked at Jem closely. He really was a fright to behold- chalk white all over, with bloodshot eyes and a twisted leg. If he didn't know about Gabriel, or about Susie, then what had befallen him at the house?

With a jolt the house door burst open, revealing Magnus, flanked by the two Lightwoods- and a flaming room. Will leaned forward, eyes gleaming.

"Is that a fire?" he said, just as the trio reached the carriage, running with urgency.

"Make room, Shadowhunters," Magnus panted, heaving himself into the seat beside Tessa. He gave her a reassuring smile. Gideon climbed in over them, sitting next to Will.

"The maid screamed. Attracted another Automaton. Magnus here blasted it with his magic- it started a fire somehow."

"Oh, my," Tessa said. "And what of Susie?"

"Dead." Gideon sat down.

"Tessa… Will…James. Henry. Is there room for one more?" Gabriel stood uncertainly at the edge of the carriage, glancing back at the house that was going up in smoke. Henry didn't answer; Tessa wasn't sure that he really took note of anything that was going on around him- but Will and Jem glanced at each other. Then Will nodded.

"There is always room for one more. But you may have to get fairly intimate with James. That won't be a problem?"

A grin split across Gabriel's face, lighting up his gaunt features. "Not at all."

Will winked at Jem, who just sighed in exasperation as Gabriel filed in to sit next to him.

"Right." Will turned to the front, all-business. "We haven't much time. Cyril, make for the Institute. And by god, make this a quick one."

Tessa looked at Charlotte's bleeding form, at Henry's broken eyes- at Jem's leg, at Will, at Cecily, Gideon, Magnus, and Gabriel. And she thought that even if they did arrive at the Institute as fast as the Institute could carry them, not one of the people around her would ever fully recover.


	23. Chapter 22: The Wreckage Left Behind

**Hi guys! Thanks so much for your reviews, follows and favourites! This chapter's just a bit of a gap-filler- not too much actually happens (sorry!), but the next big twist is on its way! As a side- note: has everyone heard about the Magnus Bane Chronicles? I'm SO excited!**

**E-hem. Anyway. Now to the guest accounts:**

Guest: **:D thanks! So glad you liked it! Can't promise anything about Wessa though… muahahhahaa!**

MEE: **thanks so much! These characters are great and all, but it can be really hard to try to do them justice ****. As for the dialogue- tell me about it. It's really annoying, but I don't know if I can actually do anything about it. I write the chapters up on word documents, which have different proportions etc. to the site, so when I upload it to the paragraphs and dialogue get all mixed up. I know, it's really annoying! Thanks for sticking with it, though. If I figure out how to fix that up, I will!**

Monica: **Hola! Thank you **** yeah, it's about time they escaped. I won't tell you whether bringing Gabriel was a mistake or not though :P. Sideon is up and coming- but Will/Jem/Tessa is about to get a bit messy ****. As for Charlotte and the baby… well… *guilty looks***

Wessa123: **thank you! Yeah, it's all a bit depressing at the moment. Charlotte and the baby indeed :'(**

ShadowKissed: **haha, yes, moment of victory for Wessa shippers ****, but it's never going to be completely happy in a love triangle. As for killing Susie, it was my pleasure! Originally I'd written a very detailed scene for that, actually *no shame :P* but I decided to cut it out. Thanks so much for reviewing! Hope you like this chapter. **

asmuchcharmasadeadslug: **Hi Lydia! Thanks so much for your review! ( didn't let me pm to reply). It's so honestly amazing and strange to think that people actually feel feelings because of stuff I wrote- thanks so much! Sadly, this chapter is probably more 'cry' than 'laugh' material. **

CHAPTER 21

Gabriel stood away from the huddle in the infirmary, watching on from a distance as Brother Enoch examined Charlotte's wound, silent as his namesake would infer. His eyes passed over each one of them, from Henry's sweaty face to the maid, Sophie Collins, who looked very much as if she was trying not to cry. Then he looked at Gideon. It was odd, he thought- the months spent away from his brother. He had almost forgotten what it had been like when they were together, like a proper family- although, of late, the Lightwoods had been most dysfunctional long before Gideon had left and his father had been killed. In that time, Gabriel had no one. But looking at his brother now, he could see that Gideon had not been the same. He was there with them, part of the team- he was part of this family now. He fought with them and he worried with them. He was loyal to them. Gideon was the only person left in the world for Gabriel to be loyal to. Magnus Bane stepped away from the crowd, then, moving to stand near Gabriel.

"Another Lightwood, are you?" he said. Not wanting to speak, Gabriel just nodded. Magnus rolled his eyes.

"Oh, excellent. Another brooding, moody Shadowhunter. And here I thought Will Herondale was one in a million."

"But isn't that why you are here?" he said, curiosity getting the better of him. "I had heard that you befriended him- William, I mean. A Shadowhunter and a Warlock. An unlikely friendship."

"Who said anything about friendship?" Magnus said. The two of them glanced at Will, then. He didn't notice them. The boy was completely absorbed in listening to whatever Brother Enoch was surely telling them in his own, silent, way.

"What is it, then?"

Magnus sighed. "I suppose…I suppose you could call it family."

"I don't know what you mean." Magnus turned back to Gabriel, chuckling. "Of course you don't. You're Nephlim- I know what that means. All your talk of the family name, upholding honour, it isn't just talk, is it? Blood is family to you. But I, I am immortal. I have learnt that family cannot be confined to such a narrow definition."

"Tell me, then, Warlock," Gabriel said colourlessly. "What is your definition of the word?"

Magnus shook his head. "They are the people who are in your life- whether you like it or not. More often than not, you don't want them in your life, really. But you keep them there anyway because you feel obligated- and because if they weren't there, wreaking havoc and stress upon your life- you don't quite know what you'd do. That's what family is, Gabriel. The people who, in the end, you always stick with- without any logical reason. You just do."

"I don't have anybody like that. Not anymore." A flash of pale blue eyes and blond locks came over him again, stained in blood, and he flinched.

"Except Gideon," Magnus said. Gabriel nodded slowly.

"Yeah. Except Gideon."

"I'm not leaving her."

_You must, _Brother Enoch told Sophie sternly. _If Charlotte Branwell is to heal, she needs space. _

Sophie looked at Henry, pleading him with her eyes.

"I will stay with her," Henry said coarsely. "I will tell you if anything changes, Sophie."

Sophie trembled, but she curtsied gracefully. "Yes, Mr Branwell." She was the last to shuffle out of the room. The others had each gone their own ways earlier, on Brother Enoch's first recommendations that Sophie be given some space. Most were in the weapons room receiving healing marks- Tessa was in bed, resting. Magnus Bane had left in a puff of smoke. Gideon was busy speaking with his brother. Breathing in and out very slowly, Sophie smoothed down her pinafore and went to the fire place in the library, endeavouring to warm the room. Her hands weren't shaking, as she'd thought they would be. Perhaps she had been serving at the Institute for long enough not to be frightened by these things anymore. But frightened was never the right word.

"Sophie?" she turned around, seeing Jem standing there. His leg was bound, and he smelled of fresh marks. His eyes were silver again. He looked healthy- well, healthier than he had been when he arrived. She ignored the echo of her past admiration for him, and raised her eyebrows.

"Is there something I can help you with, Master Jem?"

"Sophie, please," he said. He sounded tired. "How many times must I ask you to call me Jem?"

"Always at least once more, Master Jem," she said calmly. "You well know that. You ought to be resting, you know."

He nodded. "Look here… Sophie, I think… I think I might be going mad. Everything is… everything has turned out so differently to what I had expected."

"What are you talking about, Mr Carstairs?"

Jem spread out his arms. "Look at this," he said. "Look at the lot of us. Is there nobody here who is not frightfully damaged in some way? Is there anybody who can honestly say that they are going to be okay again?"

"Yes." It was all she could think to say. "Yes, there is. I can. I am going to be okay. So are you, Sir."

Jem shook his head, sinking into the armchair by the fire. Sophie didn't look at him, forcing herself to tend to the fire instead.

"I admire your optimism, Sophie. I do hope it is not in vain."

"I am no optimist," she said cuttingly.

"Then tell me, how can you say that we will all be alright?" he asked her mildly. Having lit the fire, she turned to him, watching as the reflection of the crackling fire lit up his eyes.

"Too much has happened for it to end badly," she said shortly.

"You think Charlotte will be alright?"

"She must be." Sophie bit her lip. "Why are you asking me this? Do you not want to speak to Tessa? I am sure the two of you have been through significant hardship."

"Tessa." Jem closed his eyes. "I love my fiancé. So much. She does know that, does she not?"

"Why ask me, Sir?" Sophie said, feeling quite uncomfortable. Jem smiled at her, opening his eyes again.

"Sophie, I am not ignorant. I know that you are a dear friend to Tessa. You are a dear friend to all of us here- but you and Tessa are especially close. I wonder… has she said anything to do?"

"About the two of you?"

"About anything that you may wish to tell me?" Jem's gaze was piercing. Sophie shook her head, then hesitated.

"Miss Tessa talks of you a lot, Sir," she said. "She's mighty fond of you, I'd say."

Jem's smile turned sad. "Thank you, Sophie." He stood from his chair, inclining his head. "I suppose I shall leave you to your thoughts now." He began to retreat to the door.

"Good night, Sir." Sophie sighed, picking up her duster, trying to stop her mind from wondering back to Charlotte's broken form in the infirmary.

"Oh, Sophie?" Jem called, and she looked up to see that he was standing with his hand on the door, about to leave. He gave her a lopsided smile. "Gideon is in the dining room, and I believe he was looking for you."

She tried to smile back, but failed miserably. "Thank you, Sir."

_I have done all I can do._

"But…" Henry raised his head. "But, she'll be alright, won't she? Tell me she will wake."

Brother Enoch's face was impassive to the other man's grief. "The woman will live."

Henry drew in a shaking breath. "Oh, Thank the Angel." He looked down at her face, stroking her cheek with his still-bloody hands. He had not left to clean himself up or heal his own wounds. He had not left her side since it happened.

_There is, however, the matter of the child. _Henry froze, his blood running cold.

"The baby." He put a hand over her swollen belly- that of it that was not slowly stitching itself back together, anyway.

_Charlotte's wound has broken the womb. This baby can not have survived. _

"What?" Henry shook his head, looking in despair down at his wife. "No. No, it can't be. Surely it can be healed?"

_My condolensces, _Enoch said, _but there is no way. It is fortunate enough that Charlotte herself was not killed. She is very strong._

Henry blinked through the tears. "Yes," he choked. "I always thought so. She's a spitfire, my Charlotte."

Brother Enoch bowed his head. _Iratzes can now be applied. I have healed the internal wounds._

"Much obliged." His tone was dead. _He saw Charlotte, smiling, relaxed, a child in her arms- his child-_

The infirmary door closed after Brother Enoch. Henry did not leave Charlotte that night.

News of the baby's death carried quickly throughout the Institute, dampening the mood to match the constant grey rain of the city. Tessa had thought that, once they were rescued, everything would be better. Now, although her scars were healing and she slept in a bed, she still felt as though she was being tortured day by day- this time by the memories; memories of cuts and bruises, of Will, of Jem, of Cecily, and of Henry's cries the night he found out the truth about his little boy- for the gender of the baby was revealed by Brother Enoch as well. Now days had passed, and Charlotte was awake- although she spoke so little and with such lack of character that it was nearly as quiet as it had been when she was unconscious.

The day that she had found out about her baby was perhaps the darkest day of them all for the Institute. Tessa had been in the other room at the time, but Charlotte's soft crying carried through the walls.

"How is it possible for this child to have been taken from me before he was even born? Am I that awful a mother?"

"Charlotte," Henry had said firmly, "this is not your fault at all. It is…it is so lucky that _you_ are alive."

"Better it were me. Better it were me than our child," Charlotte said. Henry had held her close to his chest.

"Don't ever say that," he said softly. "I love you, Charlotte Branwell. I cannot tell you the fright you gave me back there- but you're alright now. Promise me that you'll stay alright?"

"Henry, I don't think I'll ever be alright again," she said, choking on tears.

Henry closed his eyes, letting the tears fall. "I know the feeling." He waited for her sobs to soften. "You would have made a wonderful mother."

Since her conversation with Will in the cages, looking at Jem, all she could feel was a terrible kind of guilt- and it seemed as though he could feel it too, in a way. Of course, she had returned to avoiding Will again- he was another person she couldn't bare to see. It was like everybody was walking around, just empty shells of the people that they used to be. The most life that had come out of anyone in the past few days had been the matters of Gabriel and Cecily.

"You know what happened to Jessamine?" Will said. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I couldn't," Gabriel had said quietly. They were in the infirmary so that Charlotte could hear what he had to say- she was head of the Institute, after all, and Henry was so lost that he insisted no decision must be made without her.

"We heard that she is most likely dead," Charlotte said. "Is that true?"

Gabriel hesitated, then nodded. Tessa looked at her feet, heart sinking. Strange; she had not even cared for Jessamine, yet the thought of her, dead at the hands of one so cold as Mortmain, made her unbearably sad. Gabriel, meanwhile, was staring hard overhead, as if remembering something.

"_I will get you out of here," he had told her, as they clasped hands through metal bars. Jessamine's eyes had been sparkling with tears; her smile had been hopeful._

"_Do you promise?"_

"_I do." _

He shivered at what had followed.

"Mortmain had me bring her in. Thought she could be…useful. She hated it. She wanted… she wanted to escape. She and I, we tried to. One night, we tried to get past the Automatons. But the Magister found out what we had done…he killed her."

_The light had left those eyes, and the despair he felt in that moment was unlike anything he had felt before. He had lost his father, lost his brother- now his only company, a friend, a person who he may have come to love- was dead. He knew he was beyond saving. _

Gideon went to lay a hand on his shoulder. "Please, Charlotte, Henry," Gabriel continued, blinking watery eyes. "I was ignorant of so much. I didn't want to serve Mortmain. Please let me stay here with you- let me help you here, with my brother."

Henry and Charlotte looked at each other then, Charlotte giving a curt nod.

"Of course you can," Henry said softly. "It is the mandate of the Institute, in any case. Welcome, Gabriel."

The matter of Cecily had arised a little after, upon the revelation that she had snuck Jem the drug.

"How were you able to escape?" Gideon asked, and she flushed, looking at the ground.

"I-I had no choice," she muttered. "Mortmain…he had my family, you see…"

Will leaned forward, brow creased. "What are you talking about? Cece?"

She shook her head, covering her face with her hands. "Oh, Angel- I didn't want to."

"She has been working for Mortmain," Charlotte had concluded. "Haven't you?"

Cecily gasped for air, nodding. Will clenched his fists, letting out a snort.

"You've got to be kidding me," he said harshly. "Tell me it's not true. Cecily?"

The others were simply looking between the two of them, uneasy. Tessa thought of all the times she had looked over to see Cecily's cage was empty- remembered that she had never come back injured.

"I- I'm sorry, Will," she whispered, "I had to. He took my parents. He said that if I didn't do exactly as he asked me to, he would…he would…" she swallowed hard. "That was the night I came to the Institute."

"You've been working for him this whole time," Tessa said slowly.

Will laughed nastily. "Of course she has. Why didn't I guess?" he turned away from her. "She would never have come just to find me- or to be trained as a Shadowhunter. She never cared about any of that."

"I cared about my family," she said. "I would not just let them be killed- I did what I had to."

"You lied to us," Will hissed. "You betrayed us- you led us into a trap! Tessa could have died there, Mortmain could've done _so much_ damage to the entire city if she hadn't been so brave- James almost died, Charlotte lost her baby-"

There was a collective intake of breath, and even Will himself fell short, as though just realising what he had said. Charlotte was extremely pale.

"I- I'm sorry, Charlotte," he said. Charlotte just looked at him.

Cecily shook her head, face full of tears. "Right," she said. "Of course. And I should have known better than to think that my brother would love me no matter what."

"There is no such thing as such love, not when you have done something like this," Will said coldly.

"Yes there is," Cecily cried. "It's called 'family', Will. The way I love mum and dad- and they love me."

Tessa thought of Nate- how she still loved him, even after everything he had done. How it still hurt to think about him.

"Will," she said, "Will, calm yourself."

He whirled on her. "You want me to calm down? Tessa, she almost got you killed. She was spying on us-"

"Because she wanted to keep her parents safe," Jem said.

"They're my parents, too, James."

"That may be, but they will never be the same parents to you as they are to me," Cecily said. "I hadn't seen you in so long, Will. Too long. I didn't imagine you cared for our family at all. Why would I? Why would I let my parents die out of loyalty to a brother who never bothered to write to me?"

"Don't turn this on me," he said.

"I did my best, Will," she sobbed. "I gave him incorrect information when I could… I snuck in to see Jem, I stole the_ yin fen_…"

"Trying to ease your guilt, were you?"

Jem had had enough. "Will, don't speak to your sister like that. She didn't want to do as Mortmain asked- she was doing what any person in her position would do, and the _yin fen_ she gave me saved my life. You aren't thinking clearly."

Will opened his mouth as if to argue, then sighed, and silence resumed. At last, Cecily had pushed past him to the door.

"Gideon forgave Gabriel," she said, not looking at him. "Why can't you forgive me?"

She left before Will could give her an answer.

Jem was avoiding Tessa.

The last time he had avoided her, it was because he thought that she didn't want to speak to him again- when he thought that she didn't love him as he loved her. He had been so certain that no such mistake would be made again- they were getting married, after all. But after all he had seen at the cages, he was not so sure of anything anymore.

He hadn't spoken to her about it, nor had he spoken to Will. Partly because he believed that Tessa had only said what she'd said in a bid to save Will's life, and asking her would mean having to face it if it were not true. It was all he had seen- all he had the stomach to see, before the Automatons had dragged him back to his empty room. This time, Mortmain had been waiting for him, although he had not told this to anybody at the Institute.

"_What do you want from me?" he had asked as soon as he saw Mortmain, still ruffled and panting from beating Will not moments before- but the gun was gone._

_Mortmain did not smile, or pretend to be charming. He just looked at Jem, assessing him._

"_I am finished playing games, Carstairs," he'd said, eyes bearing into his. "I'm sick of waiting around, guessing who cares for who. I let you see what you just saw because you need to know that Miss Gray is not the fairytale that you think she is. You see, James, she is a monster. She isn't a Shadowhunter- that's what you prefer, isn't it- nor is she a real Downworlder. She most certainly isn't human. She doesn't feel as you do- she is indecisive. She will never be fully committed to you, and you will never be happy with her. You won't ever understand her."_

_Jem had grit his teeth. "Oh? And I suppose you understand her perfectly?"_

_Mortmain grinned savagely. "I am the only person who ever will. Only I know what she is."_

"_It does not matter what she is."_

"_She doesn't love you, Carstairs," Mortmain said. "Don't you mind about that? As her fiancé, I'm sure that fact must concern you?"_

"_Fact," Jem laughed. "I cannot believe what I saw- as you say, you wanted me to see it."_

"_You think you were hallucinating," Mortmain said pitifully. "Dreaming, perhaps?"_

"_I think that you manipulated her," Jem spat. "I trust Tessa more than anything else."_

"_Then why are you so defensive?" Mortmain said. He leaned forward. "So I see you are still intent on marrying the girl- assuming you ever see her again?"_

"_I am."_

_All traces of patience or humour were long gone from his face. "I have a proposition for you."_

Jem shook his head, remembering what had followed- what Mortmain had asked of him. He wasn't going to do it- of course he wasn't- but somehow, he couldn't bring himself to tell anyone about that conversation, although he couldn't quite say why. Not that it mattered. He watched her leave the infirmary- saw her glance back and him as she lingered at the doorway, waiting for him. He felt his heart pang as she realised that he would not go to her and walked away. He missed her. There was no denying that. He missed talking to her, holding her. But every time he got close all he could hear was her voice insisting that she was in love with Will- and that hurt him more than missing her ever could. His fiancé. The ghost of a smile touched his lips. Despite everything, Tessa was still his- for all anybody else knew. Nothing had been said about the wedding- but then, nothing had been said about cancelling it, either. But for every time that Tessa glanced at Will when he wasn't looking, Jem felt that she was drifting away from him. Like she wasn't his at all.


	24. Chapter 23 Silent Night

**Hi guys! Happy holidays, and merry Christmas! In the spirit of things, I thought I'd do a short festive chapter- well, as festive as it can get in the Institute, anyway :P. The next chapter will be longer, and will involve Jem more. A bit of Wessa/Jessa going on here, and some Sideon. The end of the story is in sight- I'm guessing there'll be about 5 more chapters at this point.**

**Hope you likies! Thank you to all the people who reviewed, followed, or favourited the story, and remember to tell me what you think of this chapter, or what you'd like to see happen ****.**

Shadowhunter04: **wow, thank you so much! Xx I'm 110% sure that this version will be the one that's disappointing once the actual book comes out though. I can't tell you how amazing and supportive your review is ****. Here's the next chapter- please don't tear your hair out!- there's some bittersweet Wessa here for you…well, focus on the 'bitter' part :P.**

Guest: **thanks! Continuing away **

SILENT NIGHT

Bridget scowled at Tessa as she stooped to take her plate of untouched Christmas dinner back to the kitchen, as she already had done for Will, Jem, Cecily, Gideon, and Gabriel. Henry was with Charlotte where she was resting- he refused to leave her, even to eat. There had been times when Henry had longed to take care of Charlotte- to feel like, for once, she needed him. Now that it was a reality, it only broke his heart. It was unbearable for anyone else to watch. The conversation over dinner had long gone stale, and nothing was audible but the scrape of cutlery against a plate when somebody would attempt to eat- only to sigh and drop their fork again. The dim echo of carols from the houses and churches nearby did nothing to raise the spirits of the inhabitants of the institute. In fact, if it weren't for the trees and candles and songs of the rest of London, Tessa would have passed by the day oblivious to the date. It was strange; Christmas had always been her favourite holiday, since she was a little girl. She, Aunt Harriet and Nate used to spend the whole day together. Beforehand, they would decorate a tree in the living room, and they would sit around a fireplace together to battle the snow outside, talking and laughing. It had been a time of family. But things were different now. Aunt Harriet and Nate were dead, and her new family was scattered and broken.

"Well then," Tessa said, breaking the silence. "I suppose I had better retire. I shall see you in the morning." She glanced at Jem, half-hoping that he would offer to accompany her, but all he did was offer her a weak smile. Inclining her head, she rose from the table, leaving the room. No sooner had the door closed behind her, she heard the sound of someone else's chair scraping on the ground, and she smiled a little, thinking that Jem had reconsidered. But when she spun around, it was Will who she saw, walking after her in the hallway.

"Tessa, wait," he was saying as he drew closer. Tessa closed her eyes and breathed in heavily.

"What is it, William?" she said. He stopped for a moment, looking at her with surprise and hurt on his face.

"Are you really going to address me like that again, Tess?" he said. "Are we back to pretending that we don't know- that we don't care?"

"Will, I don't know what to tell you. I'm not pretending about anything."

"Then why so cold?" he raised his hand hesitantly to touch her cheek. It was warm enough to startle her.

"I'm not," she said softly. "It is just…Will, Charlotte's baby is dead because I allowed myself to be captured by Mortmain. She and Henry are distraught, Gabriel has been terribly hurt, Gideon and Sophie are both too stubborn to be properly happy together, and with all this business with Cecily, and Jem, and you, I just- I don't know what to do."

"You don't have to do anything," he said. "Tessa, none of those things you are talking about are your fault. You need to understand that. We'll all be alright. We have each other."

"We_ can't_ have each other," she said quietly, and she stepped back so that his hand fell from her face. He looked at her slowly, processing her words.

"Why would you say that?"

Tessa shook her head. "We can't have this conversation."

"We _are_ having this conversation. Tessa, I've lived through too many lies- I've avoided too many conversations. Please just be honest with me. Talk to me. I won't let you shut me out. Isn't that _my _thing, after all? Since when are you the angst-ridden one of us two?"

"Will, I'm being serious." She bit her lip. "The reason that I did not tell you how I felt in the first place- that I _could_ not tell you- was because I knew it was a lost cause, and there would be no point in telling you if nothing could ever come of it. That hasn't changed, Will. I love you, but I love Jem as well. I am marrying Jem."

"And yet you haven't so much as spoken to him since we got back," Will said.

"That doesn't change anything," Tessa whispered. "I thought if I never told you that I loved you, that you would be alright. But I've spoiled that now. I'm sorry. Will, I never wanted to hurt you."

"Well, you did," his voice cracked. "You are. And you're hurting Jem too, by avoiding him like this."

"I'm not avoiding anyone," Tessa said. "I don't know what to tell you. I don't know how many times I can say that I'm sorry-"

"_Sorry_?" Will said incredulously. "Tess, that's the last thing that I want to hear from you. You know that."

"What else is there to say?" she ran her fingers through her hair in agitation.

"I don't know." Will sighed, glancing down the hallway to make sure that they were still alone. "Tess, do you love me?"

"You know I do," she said colourlessly.

"Do you love Jem?"

Blinking back tears, Tessa nodded. Will cursed under his breath.

"It's not fair," he said suddenly. "Why him? Why you? Why me? God, if it were anyone else…"

"What, Will?" she said gently.

"If it were anyone else, I would take you. I would be sure that they could not possibly feel about you as I do- that I could offer you more. But it is Jem, and I know with what strength he loves you, so I cannot do that. Then, if it were anyone but you, I would be happy to let you go- I would give up anything for James to be happy- I would know that I could find someone else. But it is you, and I know that there will never be anyone else. However hard I try, I_ can't_ just walk away from you." He fell silent, looking down. "Tess, what are we going to do?"

"We are going to be strong," Tessa said after a long pause. She had thought about this, tried to conjure up a valid solution, and this was the only thing that she knew she could do. "I am going to marry Jem- he can still be happy, and I know that you love him enough- and _I_ love him enough- to want that. He doesn't know about any of this, and he doesn't ever need to. So I will be his wife. You and I may continue to be friends- but no matter what either of us feels, we can never be together."

Will shivered, and she stepped forward, taking his hand lightly. "I think you're wrong, Will," she said softly. "I think you will find somebody else one day. Someone who will chose you and only you. And I know that she will be kind, and intelligent, and beautiful. She will make you happy. And I will try not to be too jealous." She smiled slightly at that.

Will shook his head. "She doesn't exist, Tess," he said hollowly. "You don't understand. You saved me- you turned my life around. It was you who finally gave me the incentive I needed to find that wretched demon to begin with… nobody else can be to me what you were- what you _are_."

"Perhaps she can save you in a different way," Tessa said. "Either way, Will… you must understand, this is the only way things can proceed."

Will inhaled sharply. Then he nodded. "For Jem. You're right- of course. We have to do the right thing for Jem."

Tessa sighed. "I just never imagined that the right thing would involve lying to him."

"I spent a lifetime lying to James for his own good. Trust me, there is no shame in lying when the truth will hurt somebody."

Tessa nodded, closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened them it was only to find Will looking at her in a way that broke her heart.

"Then this is it," he said; stating, not asking, for which Tessa was extremely grateful. If Will had argued, it would've been so much harder to do- to let him go. But he loved Jem as much as she did, so that was something he would never do. "This is it for us."

"It is."

"Do you think we could- I mean, might I kiss you again? Just one last time?"

"Will," she hesitated, looking behind her shoulder. They were still completely alone in the hallway. "I don't think that would really help anything, do you?"

"You're right." He was still looking at her, intensely, as though he would never look at her again- but then, Tessa thought, that was probably because he would never look at her again. Not in the same way. "Very well then… I wish you luck, I suppose." He bowed his head, turning quickly away from her, and when she made to stop him, she saw that his eyes were gleaming, as though filled with tears that were yet to fall. She swallowed hard.

"I love you, Will," she whispered. "I wish you all the best."

"I love you, Tess," he said, so quietly it was almost inaudible. "Merry Christmas." He reached out then- for what they both knew would be the last time- and tucked a lock of hair that had come loose behind her ear, sliding a bell of red holly in after it- the only Christmas gift that anyone in the Institute would be receiving that night.

They parted ways then, each determined in doing the right thing. Each with tears. Each with bravery.

They would never quite be the same again.

Gabriel opened his eyes with a start, only to find Gideon watching him intensely.

"Are you alright?"

He blinked, sitting up, adjusting to his surroundings. He was still sitting where he had been at dinner, but the table was empty aside from his brother.

"What happened?"

"You drifted off. It seemed as if you were having some kind of nightmare." Gideon leaned forward. "Care to fill me in?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Gabriel said thickly, stretching his arms at his sides.

"You talked, Gabriel," Gideon said. "In your sleep, you talked about her."

"Who?" Gabriel said lightly, grasping at straws, but he knew Gideon would not let it slip.

"Jessamine." Gideon's eyes were narrowed. "You befriended her, didn't you?"

Gabriel looked away, grunting in response.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Really, I'd prefer not to," he said sharply.

"Gabriel." Gideon rested a hand on his arm before he could stand up. "You saw her die. You've been through an ordeal. Talk to me."

"Why?" he said. "What is the point… what do you want me to tell you? That when I first came to get her from the Silent City, she would not speak a word to me? That she cried and said that she wanted to come back here- to this place? That she resented me? That slowly, she began to trust me? That I made her a promise that I didn't keep? That it was my _fault_-"

"Gideon?" it was Sophie. "Is this a bad time?"

The boys looked over at her. Gabriel's cheeks were flaming red. He cleared his throat.

"No," he said at once. "No, not at all. I was just leaving. Miss Collins. Gideon." He bowed his head, wrenching himself up from his chair before Gideon could move to stop him, closing the door behind him. Gideon sighed, slouching over the table.

"What was that all about?" Sophie asked tentatively, moving over towards him.

"He was having another nightmare about Miss Lovelace. I swear, it is haunting him. It must have been a terrible ordeal- but he refuses to speak to me about it. He's scaring me, Sophie."

"The poor boy's been through hell," Sophie said, not without sympathy. "We all have. But he'll pull - through in the end. You leave him be- he'll talk to you when he's ready."

"You are right- as you have a habit of being," Gideon said, smiling at her. "What of you, Miss Collins?"

"What of me?"

"Of your ordeal. We have all been through much these past few days."

"Don't be worrying about me. I'm just… I'm so glad that everybody got back alright. I mean…almost everyone."

"Charlotte's child," Gideon noted gently.

"It's a right injustice, it is," Sophie said fiercely. "I knew Mortmain was an evil man- but doing _this_? It's soulless."

"He will receive what is coming to him, Sophie. Be assured in that."

"Assured in it? I want to do it _myself_." Suddenly there were tears sparkling in her eyes. "It's awful- isn't it, Gideon? That I… I shouldn't be wanting that. I shouldn't be thinking about carving up another human being. But ever since Miss Charlotte got back, it's all I've been able to think about. Killing that bastard." She looked sideways at him, feeling his eyes studying her closely. She covered her face with her hands. "I suppose you must think terribly of me."

"Not at all." To her surprise, Gideon's mouth was twitching, as if he were hiding a smile. "You have the spirit of a warrior, Sophie. I can see now that you are not only physically able to be a Shadowhunter- mentally, you are one with us too."

"You really think so?" Sophie asked, feeling quite humbled. Gideon bowed his head.

"I know so." He grinned at her. "Do remind me not to get on your bad side, though, won't you?"

Sophie laughed, shaking her head. "You need not fear. I don't think I could ever think so ill of you."

Gideon arched an eyebrow at her. "Really? I do seem to recall you saying something quite different. Actually, I seem to remember quite a few times when you snapped at me rather brutally." He said so with a small smile. Sophie bit her lip, grinning guiltily.

"I suppose I did," she admitted. Gideon's smile grew wider.

"It is what enticed me," he said. "About you, I mean. You- your opinions. You are not flimsy like other young ladies I have encountered, Sophie. You are brave."

"I am not certain that brave is the right word," Sophie said. Gideon tilted her chin upwards so she was looking right at him.

"I happen to think that it is," he mused. Sophie flushed.

"You flatter me, Sir."

"You give me no choice, Madam," Gideon said, bowing dramatically. Sophie laughed again- she was surprised by how often that happened when he was around. At that moment, a distant church bell chimed loudly, signifying the newly turned hour. Gideon peered out the window.

"In another hour, it will be a new day," he said. "I had almost forgotten that it was Christmas. It doesn't feel like it, does it?"

"I wouldn't know Sir," Sophie said. "I never thought much of it."

"At my old home," Gideon told her, "we would host a great party. Everyone was invited- it was where Gabriel first met Will. Everyone from here was there. Except for you."

"I remember. Mrs Branwell told me that I could accompany them if I wished it. Said I shouldn't spend Christmas alone."

"Yet you did," Gideon said gently. Sophie straightened her pinafore, sighing.

"It was not my place," she said. "Attending a Shadowhunter's party. Besides, I have never been all that festive. I was better off on my own."

"Perhaps you were," Gideon said. "I was not." At Sophie's confused look, he added, "that year, I was at odds with my father about attending. I too was not in the mood for socialising. But he insisted. I spent the night on the edge of the party, drinking too much to be sensible, and not speaking with anyone. I should imagine the night would have gone quite differently, had I met you there."

"I very much doubt that," Sophie said briskly. "I am sure that you would've been occupied with somebody much prettier than I."

"There _were _pretty girls there," Gideon said. "But there was nobody like you." Sophie caught her breath, pulse racing. Gideon was suddenly very close, so close that she could see every fleck of colour in his eyes- the green, the blue, and the grey. He smiled crookedly down at her.

"Not to work against my own interests, but you may want to step back a little."

"Why?"

Gideon jerked his head towards the ceiling. "Look up." Sophie followed his gaze, her eyes catching the cluster of mistletoe that she had clumsily hung from the ceiling in a vain attempt to emulate the festive season the day before. Suddenly, her stomach filled with butterflies.

"Oh." She whispered. She didn't move. Slowly, Gideon leaned forwards, his breath sending shivers down her spine.

"Merry Christmas Sophie Collins," he said in a low voice. Their lips met under the mistletoe, and for that one moment, to the two of them, it felt less like the end and more like the beginning in the Institute- and they held on to that feeling for as long as they could, as though if they held tight enough it would stay with them. But nothing lasts forever. And the battle against Mortmain was about to take another turn.


	25. Chapter 24: Second Chances

**Hola! Hope everyone's having brilliant lives in general. Time for the next chapter! Yay! Time to stuff things up for the Shadowhunters! Thank you once again to everyone who's reviewed, favourited or followed my story- it brightens my day so much to get any one of them ****. So, what with the all-important date of the release of CP2, I'll be finishing this story up pretty soon. I'm thinking there might be around 5 more chapters, give or take one. I just wanted to say, thanks for bearing with me with this one ****. Hope you like the chapter! Now to the guest accounts:**

Monica: **thank you! Hehe, aw, I love Sideon too. As for Jem/Tessa/Will… well, Jem and Tessa will be having their talk, and Tessa and Will aren't completely ignoring each other, so… yay-ish for that . I know what you mean about book characters! I am way to emotionally invested in fictional characters. Look out for the Magnus Bane Chronicles, too- Cassie's going to be posting them online, if I understand correctly. I can't wait for the Dark Artifaces, too! Gosh, Cassie must be busy! Hope you like the chapter!**

Tracey Sandler: **hello! Thank you very much **** well, you get your answer about Jem in this chapter! Hope you like it!**

Isabelle: **hi! Wow, thank you so much- although you can't have read very many fanfics if mine is one of the best you've ever read :P- still, it's a massive compliment ****. Yeah, it's all happening with Tessa/Will/Jem! Hope you like what goes down in this chapter!**

ShadowKissed: **thanks! I'm glad you liked the Sophie/Gideon part **** they have to be one of my favourite people to write about. And Will and Tessa are just serial heartbreakers ;)**

Wessa123: **hope you had a great Christmas! Thank you for reviewing, and I hope you like this chapter!**

Guest: **Sideon for president! **** You've gotta love Sophie and Gideon. **

SECOND CHANCES

_A second chance doesn't always mean a happy ending _–unknown

When Jem realised who was at the door, his mouth closed in the midst of a greeting, and he stared blankly at her, not knowing what he could possibly say, given their last encounter alone. Then, he had been feverish and delusional. Now, his cheeks coloured in shame as he remembered how he had behaved; what she must have witnessed.

"Cecily," he managed to say at last. "I was not expecting you."

She managed a very thin smile back, sweeping her untidy black hair over her shoulder. "May I come in?"

At Jem's hesitation, she added, "I only wish to speak with you. This shall not take very long."

"Of course, come in." He stepped aside, letting her into his room and straightening his long white tunic nervously, suddenly not wanting to know what Cecily wanted to talk about. He remembered her arms around him, and his around her, and looked at her now, her expression most serene.

"James," she said, when the silence between them was growing most uncomfortable. At the same time, he said, "Cecily." They both paused, smiling sheepishly.

"Allow me," he said quickly. "Cecily, I must thank you for your companionship at Mortmain's. I was otherwise isolated, and without your visits- with or without the yin fen, I may not have recovered as well as I have. However," he proceeded carefully, "I also owe you an apology. I was in quite a state when you last saw me- and it impacted my actions in such a way that I fear I may have been terribly rude at times, as well as possibly giving you the wrong impression about…well, about…"

"Never fear," Cecily said, "I think I know what it is you are trying to say. And I assure you that your behaviour then has in no way affected my opinion of you, nor has it led me to have… hopes for the future. I wanted to speak to you today about that. I believe that I may owe you something of an apology as well."

"An apology?" Jem said, confused. To his puzzlement, Cecily was flushing, although she went on speaking quite clearly.

"Since I have arrived here, I have been quite forward about my intentions. So forward that I don't think that I stopped to consider my true feelings, let alone yours. But when I saw you in that dreadful prison, I came to understand both quite clearly. I see how much you love Tessa, and now I realise that that is what I wanted all along- I merely wanted to have someone love me, and I confused that with wanting you. I know that has put a strain on our relations, and I have come to make amends."

Jem blinked at her for a moment, surprised. "Oh. I… well, thank you, I suppose. This is quite a turn around."

"Don't misunderstand me," Cecily said, "I felt something for you. I really did. But I was deluding myself. I just wanted to have someone, and I thought that if you loved Will, then maybe you could love me. I never really… it was childish. But it is no more. I still think that you are wonderful, and kind, and beautiful. But that does not mean that I need to be with you. I see that now. I want to become your friend, James. That is, if you would allow me." She tilted her head at him. Jem smiled gently at her.

"There is nothing shameful about wanting to be loved, Cecily," he told her. "There's nothing shameful about being childish sometimes. I only wish that you didn't need to grow up so fast. Yes, I will be your friend. Gladly."

Cecily exhaled deeply. "Thank you." Her mouth twitched into a smile. "You know, you looked quite speechless when you opened the door. What had you imagined I had come to speak to you about?"

Jem flushed then, shugging his shoulders. "I…uh, I didn't really know." Cecily giggled.

"Well, you have nothing to worry about anymore," she promised him. "To tell you the truth, I am rather…embarrassed by my past behaviour."

"You are embarrassed? I believe I myself have things to be ashamed of," he confessed, chuckling. Cecily smiled at him, and it was as if a great weight was lifting from her shoulders, although a small twinge in her heart fought against her. It was true; Cecily still admired Jem in a way- but it had faded enough for her to see the mess she had made, enough for her to realise that the only way to have Jem in her life anymore was to become his friend.

"I wanted to thank you as well for your part in convincing Will that I had no desire to betray any of you," she said. Jem's laughter ceased.

"It was no trouble," he said. "Will is…difficult, but he will come around, Cecily."

"I know he let me stay," Cecily confessed, "but still it as if he cannot bare to be in the same room as me. I don't know if I can earn his forgiveness. He won't even speak to me about our parents."

"Your parents," Jem said, pressing back the vivid flashbacks of his own mother and father, dying screaming. "Mortmain has them?"

"I… I don't know what to do to help them anymore," Cecily said shakily. "Mortmain knows we escaped. Angel, if he has…"

"Hush," Jem said gently. He sighed. "I wish I could tell you that everything is alright and they will be fine. But you and I have both lived too much to believe that. Do you know what the important thing is now?"

"What?" she whispered.

"Making them proud. Live for them. Fight Mortmain, stand with us. Make a wonderful life for yourself when all this is over."

"Is that what you do?" she looked at him intently. Jem shook, suddenly feeling all too exposed.

"It is," he said at last.

"Then that is what I will do."

"Lottie," Henry said quietly. "Lottie, please. You're scaring me."

"Henry, I just don't have the energy right now."

"Tessa is in danger, Lottie," he said, hoping to invoke some emotion; something other than the blank demeanor that had consumed his wife ever since they returned from Mortmain's. She merely looked at him.

"Everyone is in danger, all the time." She sighed. "There's no point anymore."

"Of course there is," Henry said, dropping to his knees, clutching her hands in his desperately.

"Henry, our son is dead," she said plainly. Henry flinched.

"I know," he said softly. "And that will never get any easier- or any better. But you are alive. I am alive. Tessa and Will and Jem and Cecily and Gideon and Gabriel are alive. We have to make sure that nobody else dies."

"But Henry," she said, "we will all die. Eventually."

"You're scaring me," he repeated, pushing his flaming hair back agitatedly. "Charlotte, it's who you are. Who we are…Shadowhunters. We fight. We try. We save people- because even if they have to die eventually, we can make sure that they live for as long as possible. We fight evil- that means fighting demons, and Mortmain, and his army."

"The destination is always death," Charlotte said. "Always. We prolong it- but what for? What if it's cruel?"

Henry shook his head. "I don't know what to tell you," he said. "Angel, you were always better at these things than me. I was always occupied with my experiments. You were the one to bring me back into the fight. It's what I love about you."

"Don't," Charlotte said huskily. "Not now, Henry. Let somebody else do it for once. Let somebody else worry themselves sick. I can't do it."

"No." Henry shook his head. "I'm sorry, Charlotte. I can't let that happen."

"Why not?" She was scary when she was angry, and that's exactly what she was now. But more then that, there was a sadness in her eyes that scared Henry more than anything else ever had. "It isn't fair, Henry. What more must I give? I wanted to serve the Clave, I did- but now the Clave is corrupt- it's all but gone, for the Angel's sake- and Benedict is dead, and my child is dead. If I couldn't save my own baby, what on earth makes you presume that I am the one to come to now about the Herondales? I feel terrible for Will and Cecily, I do. But if Mortmain has their parents captive, then there is little we can do. He can still travel in half a heartbeat, we have no way of tracking him, no way of finding them- and the odds are they're already dead now that Mortmain's clearly realised that Cecily betrayed him."

"You propose that we do nothing?" Henry said, staring at her face as though it belonged to a stranger.

"Don't look at me like that," she hissed. "It's terrible, I know that. Unfortunate. But so is what happened to us. So is what happened to Tessa. So is what happened to Jem. His parents were killed. So were Tessa's- why, the poor girl cannot even say who her parents truly _were_. People _die_."

Henry's eyes tightened and he stared at her hard, searching for the remaints of the old Charlotte- for her determination and fierceness to emerge from the twisted grief and despair. But Charlotte just sighed, rubbing her tired eyes. "I'm sorry, alright? Will you leave me, now? I must rest." She began to fold back onto the bed, eyelids fluttering shut.

"Leave you," Henry said, voice empty. "If you wish it." Charlotte must have noticed the catch in his voice, because she opened her eyes at once, frowning.

"Henry what do you…" she froze. Henry stood before her at the edge of the bed, a seraph blade pressing to his chest, directly over his heart. "HENRY." She scrambled up towards him. "What are you doing? Don't be ridiculous!"  
"If it is all the same to you," Henry said, voice quivering, "if we all die eventually, then why not? Why not start with me?" he spun the blade around, offering it to her by the handle. "Either you do it or I will, Charlotte."

"You can't be serious," she whispered, horrorstruck. "Henry." In the dim light of the room, she could only make out his silhouette, the shadow of the knife in his hands casting wide over the space between them.

"I am deadly serious, Charlotte," Henry said. "I'm not joking this time. Not blundering about the fool you know me to be. If we are all doomed to die, then I want to die now rather then living to see you fade even further from the woman I fell in love with- better now, then later, after watching everyone else go before me." He pressed the handle gently into her hands. "If that is what you truly believe, do it. Kill me, Lottie."

Charlotte stood before him, slim fingers wavering over the weapon. She stared down at them, lips slightly parted, but aside from that, she made no sound, nor any movement to drop the knife, as Henry had held hopes that she would. Henry hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should say something else to prompt her-unsure if there was anything that he _could _say. The silence stretched on until Henry had to stop looking at her- for the empty look in her eyes was too much for him to bare for long. Finally, she looked at him, tears collecting in her eyes, making them gleam in the dark.

"Henry," she said. And then the only sound was that of the knife falling to the ground.

"I'm so sorry," she was saying between sobs, as she fell clumsily to her knees, leaning against Henry as he knelt to be at level with her.

"Charlotte," he breathed a sigh of relief and sorrow. "You have nothing to apologise for."

"But I do," she sniffed. "Henry… I don't know how to be strong anymore. I just don't know how."

"I'll help you," he said. "We all will." He gathered her closely against him. "Nobody expects you to be the same. Nobody expects you to be alright. But we need_ our_ Charlotte. _I _need her."

"I'm still your Charlotte," she promised him. "Henry?"

"Yes?"

She opened her eyes, ignoring the tears that clouded her vision of him, and smiled, an honest kind of smile. "Thank you."

"For what?" he said, baffled.

"For doing what you just did… for saying the things you're saying. Thank you for not giving up on me."

"Oh, you would've found a way without me," Henry chuckled. "You're Charlotte Branwell, after all. Never needed anyone else. You're the most strong, independent woman the Clave has ever seen."

"You're wrong," she said, her sobs having slowed now. "I have always needed you."

"No you haven't," Henry said airily. "I was always the one who needed you- but you never needed me, Lottie."

"Henry-" she protested, but he held up his hands to stop her.

"It's alright, you know," he said. "I like that you don't need me. It means that you did not marry me because you depended on me- but for some other reason."

"Because I loved you," she said gently. He kissed the top of her head lightly.

"And I loved you," he said simply. "I have always loved you- for those reasons. You never needed anyone's approval, or their permission. You were clever, and you were strong, and you knew it was so. You never needed anyone to tell you who you were."

"Things have changed now," Charlotte said hoarsely. "The person that you just described… I don't know if that's me anymore."

"Of course it is," he said without hesitation. He smiled at her. "I think sometimes you just need to be reminded. And I will always be here to remind you."

Will straightened up in surprise as Charlotte followed Henry into the dining room, for the first time in what had been a most horrific, silent number of days.

"Charlotte?" Tessa said in surprise, followed by a chorus of murmurs from Jem, Cecily, Gideon, Gabriel and Sophie.

"Hello- all of you," Charlotte said, mouth twitching into a small smile. "It is pleasant to see you."

"Not as pleasant as it is to see you," Jem said at once. He scraped back his chair and stood, waiting for Charlotte to take her seat, as courteous as Jem had ever been. Will rolled his eyes, and Charlotte smiled.

"It's alright, James," she said kindly. "I have matters I wish to discuss with you." Sophie nodded her understanding and started to take her leave, but Charlotte turned to her. "All of you." She opened her mouth in surprise, about to say something, but she thought better of it.

"It is to do with your parents," Henry told Will and Cecily. The two glanced briefly at each other before remembering their feud and looking away again.

"What of them?" Will said cautiously.

"Well, we must do something to save them, of course," Gideon said unexpectedly. "I will happily work with any plan of yours, Charlotte."

"Thank you, Gideon," she said. "I'm afraid the plan as of now is somewhat…incomplete. While Cecily was able to tell us that Mortmain is holding her parents captive somewhere, Mortmain was not so kind as to reveal where. Even so, we must do something- if not just for the poor souls themselves then to ensure that Mortmain is not able to use them to blackmail any of us with them ever again."

"How are we going to locate them?" Jem asked, while everyone else leaned forward, listening intently. Charlotte pursed her lips, as though she had bitten into a lemon.

"While it is not ideal, I believe that the only way to proceed is to contact Magnus Bane again. He was able to use magic to find Tessa before. He is the best chance we have of reaching the Herondales- assuming that they are still there to be saved." Tessa flinched, glancing at Will and Cecily, and then back at Charlotte. Perhaps once, she wouldn't have been so frank as to allude to their parents' possible deaths so openly. The loss of her child, and the scars across her belly, must have had more of an impact on Charlotte than just her physicality.

"Are you sure that is a wise course of action? There is only so much that a warlock will do without demanding payment. As it is, we owe Magnus Bane much." Gideon frowned.

"Magnus is right to wish for payment," Will said, "but he has a moral compass, and he is a friend of mine."

"A warlock is your _friend_?" Gabriel said incredulously.

"And a demon made_ you_ it's b-" Will said, eyes glinting with malice.

"Will," Jem cut him off. Will turned back to Gabriel with a sour smile.

"Better a warlock than a demon any day, Gabriel," he said. Gabriel scowled.

"My," Jem said, resigned. "I had hoped that, after everything, your little feud would have ended."

"Whatever made you think that?" Gabriel and Will said in shocking unison. They glanced at each other, both almost smiling now.

"Oh, we can all bond later," Cecily said impatiently. "Can we summon Magnus right away, then? How does one summon a warlock, incidently?"

"I'd wager we could try sending him a letter," Tessa said mildly. Jem's mouth almost twitched into a smile, but then Tessa caught his eye and he caught his breath, unsure of how to respond. His heart was beating very fast. Too fast. Not the kind of fast, he noted, with a sick feeling, that one would experience from being near a person that they admire, but the kind of fast produced by a drug- or rather, lack of one.

"Jem!" He heard her voice, alarmed, and realised that something must be wrong. He looked around, trying to see what was the matter, but everything had become terribly blurry, and he could not see.

"James." That was Will's voice. As if from a distance, he could hear others, too, all gasping, muttering, talking very fast. He felt an impact behind him and realised that he must have fallen from his seat.

"Will," he found himself saying. "Will…" he coughed, scarlet clouding his vision.

"Jem!" Tessa's voice grew shrill in his ears, and he tried again to see clearly.

"…in his bedroom, the box on the bedside table," Will muttered. "Go!" Jem heard footsteps then- someone running off down the hall. He felt arms go up under his arms, lifting him.

"Come along, James," Will said in his ear. "You'll be alright."

"Tessa." Suddenly, a sharp, terrible pain seemed to spiral through his very veins, through his blood, his entire body. And then everything fell into darkness.

"…thought he'd taken enough yin fen." A female voice was saying, clearly agitated.

"We all thought so," a male, now. "He had enough in his system to sustain him. At least, it should have sustained him. I don't understand…"

"Perhaps," the woman was saying hesitantly, "…perhaps it is no longer enough to sustain him. Perhaps he needs more of the drug than he did before. The withdrawal…it might have triggered something in him."

Jem blinked, slowly coming to make out the familiar setting of his bedroom, with Will and Tessa standing at the edge of his bed, wrapped intently in a discussion. He fluttered his eyes closed at once, realising that they did not yet know he was awake. A throbbing pain made him faintly aware of what had just happened, but he wanted to know the whole truth- and he knew that nobody would willingly give him that, for the desire of keeping him calm, not worrying him. Tessa's words began to sink in, and his heart sunk.

"If Jem consumes more of the drug, it will kill him," Will spat. "It will kill him at a rate higher than it already was."

"And if he consumes less, then he will die of withdrawal from it," Tessa said, voice tight. "Will, I don't care what Jem has told you. I don't care what he has asked- we need to find a cure. If you will not help me find it, then I will seek it out myself."

"You think it is that simple?" Will's voice was hushed, but his words were sharp. "You cannot just 'seek out' the cure. We have tried everything, Tessa- everything we could think of, rational or irrational, possible or impossible, I tried it all. Eventually Jem decided he could not bear to see us all search in vain forever- he could not bear to get his hopes up and to be let down, each and every time- and who can blame him?"

"No one is blaming anybody." Tessa said. "Will, I will not let him die. I can't."

"You think I can?" Will's voice broke, and Jem sat still, shocked by the raw emotion in his voice. It had been few moments indeed that Jem had heard Will speak with real feeling in his voice, even after he had known about the false curse. Jem wondered if he always spoke this way around his fiancé.

"You care for Jem as much as I do," Tessa said. "Maybe more. Please, Will. I need you to tell me that you will not give up on him. Help me." She sounded so close to tears that Jem couldn't stand to listen anymore. He stirred, feigning a yawn, and he opened his eyes.

"Tessa, Will," he said. "What happened?"

Upon seeing him awake, Tessa rushed from where she was standing with Will over to his side, kneeling so that she was at his eye-level.

"You had an attack," she said softly. "You were coughing up quite a bit of blood. Will and Gideon carried you back here- we gave you _yin fen_. How are you feeling?"

"I will be alright," he told her, more for her benefit then for anything else. The truth was, he feared that she had been right- that he had been growing to crave more and more of the drug. Since returning from Mortmain's, his usual consumption would not sustain him, even on his laziest days. It would certainly not see him through another encounter with the Automatons. He was weak- weaker than he had been in a very long time. He could almost feel the poison of death seeping through his bloodstream.

"Of course you will, Carstairs," Will said, voice amazingly cheerful, for one who had just spoken with such plain anguish. Jem returned his smile as best as he could.

"I was so worried," Tessa whispered. She lay her hand over his. Jem glanced at her, eyes softening, and then looked at Will, who was very pale.

"I, um," he stammered, "I suppose I had better…fetch Charlotte and tell her that you are awake." He wrenched the door to the room open and closed it with a bang as he shuffled away. Once they could no longer hear Will's footsteps, Jem turned to Tessa.

"I have been wanting to speak to you," she said, "since we have returned. You have been avoiding me."

Jem looked away. "Tessa, I need to know something."

"Of course." She held his hand tighter.

"Do you love me?"

She stared at him, eyes very wide. "What sort of a question is that- to ask of your fiancé?"

"Answer it," he said shortly. "Please. Humour me."

"Of course I love you, Jem." She leant to kiss his cheek. "Of course. More than anything."

"More than anything?" he repeated.

"Jem." She looked at him, very seriously. "You are all I have left. Once, there were Aunt Harriet and Nate."

"And Will."

Tessa caught her breath, and was silent for a long moment. Jem just looked at her, studying her face. He was not angry, as he thought he may have been, nor was he even, at the time, devastatingly sad. He merely looked at the woman that he thought he knew so well, and he asked himself how much it was that he had missed- how much he did not know, and how much he did.

"What do you mean?" she said unevenly. Jem eyed her patiently.

"I saw what happened at the cages. I heard you say that you loved him."

Tessa shook her head, mouth half agape. "Then you must know what dire circumstances I said that under," she said at last.

"Mortmain was threatening to kill him," Jem said. "According to your answer."

"I thought that I was giving Mortmain what he needed in order for him to not kill Will," she said. "You must believe that had it been otherwise, I would not have said it."

"Then, can you also assure me," he said gently, "that it was not true?"  
Tessa hesitated. "Once," she said, and Jem felt a terrible sense of dread, "there was Will. Once, there was a time that I entertained thoughts that perhaps there might be something for he and I. I have no such delusions anymore. I had no such delusions in the cage. You are the man I am marrying, Jem. I love you. You must believe me. You must _know_." Her eyes shone with tears that had not yet fallen. "Since I first arrived here, Jem, you were the one who was kind to me. You were the only person I could talk to- the only one who made me feel human throughout all of this business about what I am. You are more than my fiancé, James, you are my friend. You once said that to be friends is a beautiful thing. It is that, James, and it is also what saved me. It is also what I love the most about you- that you can be my friend as well as my partner. Is that not what a true partner is, after all?"

"It is." He wasn't looking at her. Instead, he stared past her, absent-minded. "And Will is not that, to you?"

"_You_ are that to me," she insisted. "Jem… I…. I understand. I know that it is terrible, and unfair, that I should have had feelings for Will, and then for you. I was- I am- so determined for that not to ruin anything between you and he, or you and I."

"And you and Will? What of the two of you? Are you friends? Are you avoiding one another again? All of that makes more sense now, I must say."

"Jem," she said. "Please. I am begging you- I… I am begging you for a chance. Let me prove that I love you. I will do anything you want. I will never speak to Will again if you wish it-"

"Enough, Tess," he said softly. "I'm not going to ask you to do that. That would not be fair, nor would it be trusting, and trust is an important part of any union. But I do not know that I can trust you."

"James," she whispered. He turned to her.

"I missed you so much," he said coarsely. "I love you so _much_, Theresa Gray. I could not change it if I wanted to."

"Nor could I," she said. She leaned closer. "Jem…" their lips met, and her words were lost in the kiss. She felt warm, safe, as she always did when she was near Jem. Kissing him was like coming home after a long, terrible day, and knowing that everything was going to be alright. Even when they finally broke apart, that warm feeling stayed with her.

"You are the only man in my life now, James. That is a promise," she said. "That is…if you'll still have me."

Jem was breathing hard now, and he looked at her for a very, very long time.

"I love you," he said, plain and simple. "That is no secret, no subjectable thing- why, it is a fact!" Tessa laughed softly at that, and he smiled in return, a sad smile. "And it is because I love you," he sighed, "that I must call off our engagement at once."

**Cliffhanger! (an A/N to those who ship Jessa: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry don't hurt me ***hides behind Will and Jem***) Review the chapter to let me know what you thought of it- or to threaten me, either or :). ****  
**


	26. Chapter 25 Loyalty

LOYALTY

_"If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. "__  
__―__J.R.R. Tolkien__,__The Fellowship of the Ring_

**A/N: I had to make a detail adjustment to this chapter so it is true to the real series. As pointed out to me by **A Moment of Eternity**, Yanluo is in fact a female demon. (Google had led me to believe otherwise- hence the mishap). Sorry about the confusion :). **

**Hey again! So, I managed to write another chapter today. Holidays are awesome like that :P ****. Anyway, this is where the big end-game drama all starts, and it'll really end up being centered around Jem and Will and their friendship, and what Will would do for Jem, as well as Tessa as an individual person more than just as part of the love triangle. Thanks for your reviews on the last chapter- I must say, I liked the pretty much collective response of "hell no" from you guys with that cliffhanger! There is more to it, as will be revealed within the next few chapters. I apologise for the Supernatural references in this chapter- what can I say, I'm obsessed :P. Okay, here we go- hope you like it! More plot-twists to come!**

**P.S: is anyone else both excited and terrified about seeing the family tree in CP2? **

Guest: **thank you thank you thank you! Here's the next chapter- please don't die!**

Monica: **haha, yeah, Jessa's on the rocks- but Wessa is already getting smashed repeatedly onto those same rocks, so it's not looking so good for either of them :P. Yeah, I don't know how Cassandra Clare does it- glad she does though, it gives fabulous people like you and I something to obsess over! I feel like that about Cassie Clare's books- it's almost like I don't want to read CP2 as soon as it comes out because I don't want it to be over, but I can't believe it's like that for you about my fanfic! *excited squeals* thank you!**

Guest: **aw, thank you. Yeah, the 'saving-Will-and-Cecily's-parents' thing (if they get around to it…) won't directly involve either Will or Cecily- they'll have to call in external favours. I have to agree about Tessa- although I'd guess that she feels absolutely awful, so I feel sorry for her. As for Magnus- oh, the Shadowhunter's are assuming he'll run along to help him, but, as you say, it's not in his nature to do things out of the kindness of his heart- as he's very blunt about in this chapter ****. **

Jen: **Will and Jem: the ultimate shield, because no one could ever raise a pinky finger against them :P. As a fellow complete fan of Jem, I sympathise with wanting Jem to have a happy ending **** not that it will definitely happen, but you shall see…**

Tessa felt her heart catch in her chest, and for a moment she just looked at Jem, uncomprehending.

"I…I don't understand."

Jem exhaled heavily, shaking his head at her. "I am sorry, Tessa. I truly am. But there cannot be a wedding for the two of us."

"You said you loved me." She didn't say it in desperation, or in anger- her tone was empty, already resigned to the finality of his words.

"I do love you," Jem said gently. "I told you, that is why we must not go through with this."

"That makes no sense," she said bitterly.

"Tessa-"

"If you believe me to be a horrible person- if you cannot trust me- please, Jem, say so. Please do not pity me in this way, for it does me no good, despite your good intentions," she said.

"But I do not believe you to be a horrible person- Angel, I never could," Jem insisted. "Please listen to me, Tessa. I do love you, and- well, I think that I could come to trust you perfectly, given time. You must understand…my decision…" he sucked in his breath and furrowed his brow, as though contemplating whether or not to reveal something.

"What?" Tessa asked, voice cracking. Her cheeks were red, guilt and shame and sadness all joining to make her skin flush pink. She thought of Will- every painful day that passed without speaking to him, of the moment she had said goodbye, and the light in his eyes had gone out. She had thought then that she could make it up to Will- and to herself as well, by making Jem happy. Being his wife, while he remained ignorant of all that had transpired. Now it felt as if all that effort, all that heartache, had been for nothing.

"My decision is final," was all Jem said at last, quite shortly, as though he did not wish to speak about it anymore. Tessa let out a dry sob, and she lifted her gaze to look at him, silently begging him.

"Jem," she whispered. He cast his eyes away from her.

"Do not ask me about this again," he said, in a most un-Jemlike fashion. It was the kind of manner she had once expected from Will. Coming from Jem, somehow, it was so much worse. "I shall not be changing my mind."

"Is it somebody else?" she said in a small voice. Her mind was swimming with these thoughts, these worries- thinking of everything she had ever done wrong, everything she had ever done right. Part of her was still in complete shock of what had just happened- what was still happening.

"Don't be foollish." His voice was still cold. Tessa couldn't stand it. Eyes prickling with tears, she fumbled with the jade pendant around her neck, holding it out for him to take.

"I suppose you'll want this back," she managed to say. At that, his eyes softened a little. He reached out and closed the pendant firmly in her hands.

"Keep it," he said. "It was a gift. Consider it a… a memory, if you will."

"A memory," she said hollowly. "Because that is what this is now."

Jem didn't answer. He reached past her for his violin, closing his eyes as he began to play. Tessa stayed for a moment, but his eyes didn't open again, and the music didn't stop. It was slow, wistful music- so beautiful that, to Tessa, it almost felt like it was speaking to her. It sounded like _sorry_, and _stay_, and _I love you_. At least, that is what every fibre of her being told her it was saying. She wanted so badly, so desperately, to believe that this was Jem's way of asking her to stay with him- of telling her it was all going to be alright. But five minutes past, then ten, and then fifteen. Finally, Tessa could not hold back the tears any longer, and she had no desire for anyone to witness what would follow. So she crept across the floorboards and left Jem's room without saying another word, and crossed the hall into her own. It was there, that, finally, she let herself break down completely, terrible, fragmented cries escaping her mouth, fingers knotting in her hair, body sprawled across the floor. She lay there, gripping the clockwork angel around her neck tightly and she kept crying- for once she started, she could not stop. For now, she thought, she had truly lost everything.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say all Shadowhunters are nocturnal," Magnus grunted, blinking past the sleep in his eyes. "I don't think I've ever seen one of you in the daylight- you know, when the rest of us normal folk are out and about."

Will eyed the giant, floppy ornament above Magnus' head skeptically. "Because _you're _normal."

Magnus moved aside, letting Will in grumpily. "You'd better have a good reason for waking me, boy. I already received Charlotte Branwells' letter, and I'm happy to negotiate assisting you to find your parents_- at a reasonable hour_."

"This is not about them," Will said, a look of terrible concern coming over him. "It's Jem."

"That cursed parabatai of yours," Magnus said without compassion. "What of him?"

"He's ill," Will said. "The drug…we believe he requires a higher quantity of it to maintain his survival."

"I do hope you have enough in stock," Magnus said sarcastically. "What does this have to do with me?"

"I have an idea," Will said, a mad look about his person that made Magnus want to smile and punch him at the same time. "I was up all night, studying, walking through Downworld, asking questions- I think I have something. I may have found a cure, Magnus!" he turned to him grinning. Magnus just sighed.

"No 'congratulations'? No 'good on you'? Alright, then. _My _you're a treat when you're tired," Will said.

"If it is your plan, Will, I don't think congratulations are in order at all, considering the high probability that this plan is extremely dangerous and foolish- and nigh impossible to boot," Magnus said, ignoring the last part. "Have out with it, then- what is this cure, and what in heaven's name does it have to do with me?"

Will leaned forward. "Jem's addiction to the drug could be countered if he did not physically need it to stay alive- to act as a temporary cure to his original condition, which was derived from the demon's blood. I heard talk that if a demon is killed, then its blood, wherever it may be, is rendered useless- it loses its power, so to speak. If you could only summon the demon for me, I can kill it and-"

"Are you insane?" Magnus demanded, cutting him off. "No. The answer is no. No way in heaven or hell."

Will blinked, surprised. "Why?"

"You've talked enough about Carstairs and his condition for me to know that the demon whose blood is in his system is a Yanluo- A Greater Demon. _Greater Demon_, William. Almost impossible to summon, and almost impossible to kill- and you want me to just, what, give it my best shot? I won't do it. It is suicidal."

"Magnus, we have to try," Will said desperately. Magnus looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

" 'We'? What makes you think that there's a 'we' in any of this business? I helped you once, Will, almost completely out of the goodness of my damned heart. Don't assume that you can make a habit of running to me to solve your problems. For you, I summoned demon upon demon to my home- wrecking the furniture and the floors many a time, I should add- and I worked with even more insufferable Nephlim to free you and your companions from Mortmain's grip, also without payment. Now you ask me to help find your parents- I assume because you yourself cannot legally seek them out- something which, I'll have you know, I will not be doing without heavy payment. Not another thing, I tell you. I will not have it. I've told you before, I am no hero, and I work best alone. I don't owe anything to anyone."

"I know that you do not owe me this," Will said earnestly. "I do not take these things for granted, Magnus."

"Oh, that's nice, I'm rewarded with your gratitude, is that it?" Magnus said sarcastically.

"Magnus," Will said. "You know that if you ever needed my help, I would not hesitate to come to your aid."

"And if I ever need the assistance of an angsty teenage Shadowhunter, I will be sure to inform you at once," Magnus said, exasperated. "I am sorry. Your parabatai's condition is certainly regrettable. But nothing can be done about it. This mission of yours would not prevail, even if I were willing to help."

"I will pay you," Will said quickly. "Anything you want- name it- _anything_."

"This conversation is closed, William," Magnus said tiredly. "Now, if you wish to discuss payment for locating your parents, on the other hand…"

"_No_." Will's hands balled into shaking fists at his sides. "Magnus, I'm _begging_ you. I'm offering you anything and everything that I own- if you want money, I will deliver it to you. Riches, objects, if you want me to take care of any enemies you may have-"

"Are you not listening to a word I'm saying? I won't help you, Will, not with this. It isn't a matter of payment- I value my own safety above anything you could give me. Summoning a Greater Demon would doubtless drain me- and then, Yanluo wouldn't be happy with the warlock who summoned her." His eyes softened. "Go now. Return to the Institute. Spend as much time as you can with Mr Carstairs- he may not have long left. Look on the bright side… does this not leave Miss Gray to you?"

Will's whole body froze. "Never," he said, deadly quiet. "I would never gain anything from Jem's death. Not one thing, least of all_ her_."

Magnus shook his head. "Honestly, after everything I did to give you a better chance, William," he said, "it seems as if it was all in vain. You are so determined to be miserable."

"_Don't_," Will hissed. He looked at Magnus then, his eyes very narrow. "Don't assume to know me. Understand, Warlock, that if you do not help me now, I will not just decline to help you if the time comes you need me. I will hunt you down myself. I will be your_ undoing_ if you will not help me save Jem."

Magnus' eyes flashed dangerously. "Careful, Herondale," he said in a low voice. "I am a powerful warlock. You do not want me as your enemy."

"You do not want me as yours, either," Will said, deadly serious. "I may not have magic, but I am a good Shadowhunter, and I have killed Warlocks before. And, if Jem… there is _nothing_ that I would not do, if something happens to Jem."

It was not a pleasant air that filled the room then, as the Shadowhunter and the Warlock looked at each other with cold eyes.

"If you have nothing more to say," Magnus said, "please take your leave immediately. And close the door behind you- I don't want any rain getting into my house."

Will scowled, inclining his head, and he spun on his heel, slamming the door with unnecessary force. Magnus walked over to his window, watching the boy as he hurried away from the place, shoulders hunched, head down, his whole body seeming to shake, as though he was crying. There had been times before when he had thought to himself that Will was a broken man. But now was the first time that he honestly believed that there was nothing anyone could do that could fix him. Because Magnus had only now realised something about Will: that he was afraid of happiness for himself. It was almost as though he did not think he was worthy of being happy- as though he did not deserve it, and so he built barriers around him from every excuse he could. First, it had been the Curse. Then, it had been his friendship to Jem. Then, the fate of his family. And even after Jem, Will would deny himself happiness. And Magnus Bane could not care this time- for caring for Will, he had come to realise, would not do one any good at all.

"Will," Tessa said in surprise, opening the door to her bedroom to see him standing at the frame, fist raised to knock again.

"Tessa," he said. "I need to talk to you. It is important. May I come in?"

Tessa grasped at her flimsy nightdress. "I'm not sure that would be a good idea," she said quietly. Will made an impatient noise.

"Tessa, it has to do with Jem," he hissed. Eyes widening, Tessa stepped back from the door.

"Very well. Come in." No sooner had he entered the room and closed the door behind him, Will began to speak very quickly.

"You were right about Jem- he's growing more dependent on the drug. He does not have much time left- and we need to do something about it. That is why I was out half the night- searching."

"Searching for a cure?" Tessa said, relief and anxiety colouring her tone. "I thought you said you had tried everything?"

"I had," he said. "But I had to look again. And I found something."

Tessa exhaled heavily. "Oh, goodness," she said. "And? What is it?"

"It was in the darker corner of Downworld," he said. "I came across an old warlock who I…convinced to tell me of a way to disable the effect of demon blood. She was unsure on whether it would work for Greater Demons, for no one has ever tested it, but it is all we have."

"Tell me," she said. "What can we do?" Her voice, Will noticed, was quite thick, as though she had been crying. He glanced at her face, and realised that her eyes were indeed red, her hair untidy.

"Are you alright?" he said, distracted. "Tess, did something happen?"

"I…it does not matter," she said quickly. "The Cure. Tell me about the Cure." Will lifted his hand as though to stroke her cheek, but thought better of it.

"Yanluo," he told her. "The demon who poisoned Jem- it is her blood that is killing him. If Yanluo is killed, it will render her blood useless- and Jem should no longer be dependent on yin fen. It should cure him."

"Yanluo," Tessa said. "Then, we must find her, mustn't we? We have to."

Will hesitated. "It is not that simple, Tessa. Yanluo is no ordinary demon."

"She is a Greater Demon. Jem- I mean, I know that. What does that mean?"

"It means," Will said, "that he is very difficult to trace, and extremely powerful- therefore, hard to kill."

"But you think you can do it?" Tessa asked.

"I have to do it." He ran his fingers through his hair agitatedly. "But the thing is, Tessa, I…I need your help."

"You want me to help you?" she said, surprised. "I mean, I would have helped anyway- I had just imagined that you would not have wanted me to."

"I don't want you do," he said. "By the Angel, I wish there was some other way. But Magnus has refused to summon the Demon, and I do not have the power to Summon it myself… there is only one way that I can think of, that we might discover where Yanluo is. So I need you to help me. Please."

"It's Jem," Tessa said firmly. "I will do anything I can. What is the plan?"

"You say you need something belonging to someone in order to change into them, and you have said that blood would work… Jem keeps a vial of his father's blood, but it is not only his father's. Doubtless there would be some of the demon's blood in there, too."

"You want me to Change into Yanluo?" Tessa said.

"I need you to," Will said. "You must know that I hate to ask this of you. But I will not let any harm come to you. I just need to speak to Yanluo- find out where she is, make some kind of deal."

"Of course I will try," Tessa said slowly, "it's just…if the blood is mixed with Nephlim blood, it may be difficult to differentiate."

"Just try," Will said. "Of course, that is all you can do."

Tessa nodded. "Where is this vial then? I would think that Jem keeps it close to him. I do hope he won't mind."

"Of course he will mind," Will said. "But he will still be _around_ to mind if we succeed." He pulled a small glass vial from his coat pocket, the dark scarlet liquid inside it rippling as it moved. "I took this from his room, just now. He is sleeping- he won't wake for hours."

Tessa bit her lip. "Should we alert Charlotte? Anyone else? This is important."

"Exactly," Will said gravely. "Tessa, we absolutely cannot tell anyone else, least of all Charlotte. If this doesn't work, and we get her hopes up, it will destroy her. Charlotte has already lost one son- we cannot let her lose another- not like this."

Tessa stared at Will for a long moment, a smile twitching on her face. Will smiled curiously in response.

"What on earth is there to smile about?"

"Do you remember when we snuck out to the masquerade ball? And you pretended that the fact that you didn't wake Charlotte was because you did not want her to lose Jessamine before she had to?"

"How could I forget," he said, eyes bearing into hers, and she knew he was thinking of what else had happened that night, on the balcony.

"It is just nice to hear, is all," she said quickly. "That you care for Charlotte like that."

"She raised me," he said simply, looking away from her. He handed her the vial. "Are you ready to do this? Are you certain?"

"I am." She took a deep breath. "Will?" she glanced at him.

"Tessa?"

"Thank you," she whispered. "For not giving up on finding a cure."

"I didn't do it for you." He said it without malice or anger; it was simply the truth. She nodded, turning away from him.

"Alright. Here it goes." She unscrewed the lid to the vial until it eventually fell to the floor. "Will?" she still had her back to him. "Will you do me a favour?"

"Anything." He said factually.

"If we succeed…if I do this and all goes well, and we find out where Yanluo is, and you kill her… don't tell Jem of my involvement."

Will raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Why not?"

"I…" she hesitated. "I cannot say."

Will inclined his head. "Very well, if you wish it."

"Thank you." Tessa turned back to face him, and again, he was struck by the redness of her eyes, the sadness there. She turned the vial of blood onto her hands so that the thick liquid fell into her palm, dripping through to the floor. "Wish me luck." She closed her eyes, concentrating hard, willing the Change to come over her.

She was not prepared for what followed when it finally did.

_Hatred. Anger. Cold. Foreign- alien; not a speck of humanity. It was so strong, and so bright, it was burning. A terrible fire. And then a terrible familiarity. _Tessa gasped and stumbled, leaning against her bedroom wall, mouth wide open in a silent scream as she twitched, fighting to gain control of what was inside of her. Finally, she steadied, breathing very slowly, and when she opened her eyes, they had turned completely black. The words that rasped from her throat next did not come from her.

"_Who calls me?" _

Will, who had gone very pale, set his jaw in determination. "Yanluo."

Tessa snarled, unable to control her body. "Shadowhunter."

"I am not the first Nephlim to have met you," Will said. "I believe you know James Carstairs. You killed his parents."

"Jian," Tessa laughed. "That is what his dear parents called him. I remember them well. Well, I remember what they looked like. Their minds, I'm afraid, were quite messy by the time I was through with them."

"How dare you laugh," Will said coldly.

"_You_ laugh, Will Herondale," she said spitefully, "you laugh when you kill demons- hundreds of us. Do not imagine us to be so different. Your friend's parents killed my children. Of course I was glad to be rid of them. Of course I was glad to hear their screams as they drank my own blood."

"I'll make you a deal, then, considering we are so alike," Will said, gritting his teeth. "You meet me somewhere, and we shall fight it out, you and me."

"And why would I agree to that? What is to gain?"

"My blood on your hands," Will countered. "Don't deny you'd love to kill me- I am Nephlim, after all. And I most certainly want to kill you, Yanluo."

"He is your parabatai?" the demon sounded amused. "That broken excuse for a person? He is dying, still- no substance can rid him of the poison of my blood. How very charitable of you, to make such a bond to such a sorry case."

"If you are too afraid to fight me," Will rose his voice, ignoring the taunts, "then-"

"I? Afraid of you?" it snorted. "You are nothing but a mortal child. I am a Greater Demon."

"Then you have nothing to lose," Will said.

"That I don't." Tessa advanced on Will, possessed eyes narrowing. "I am willing to fight you, Nephlim, if you are foolish enough to wish it. I am willing to fight you here and now."

"I will fight you tonight," he said, "at the London cemetery. Meet me there in your true form."

"Why wait?" she licked her lips. "I cannot be at my full power in this human vessel you have contained me in- but I can still destroy you, and you are still perfectly capable of killing me."

"No." Will said. "Leave her."

"Leave her?" Yanluo mused. "Why would I do that? I am doing you a favour, you know. I will be easier to fight in this form."

"Leave her and fight me yourself, Yanluo," Will commanded.

"Or what?" When Will did not respond, the demon spread a terrible smile across Tessa's features. "No, I don't think I will. You cannot make me leave, and neither can the little downworlder girl. She is not strong enough."

"Where is Tessa?" Will demanded. "Let her out. Let her go."

"Sorry," she said sarcastically. "Miss Gray cannot come to the door right now."

"Tessa," Will's voice shook with panic. "Tessa, you can stop now. Tessa-"

"For Satan's sake, she can't hear you!" Yanluo roared.

Will drew his seraph blade. "_Castiel," _he named it, **(A/N: sorry, not sorry #supernatural) **wearing a glare to rival that of Lucifer himself.

Yanluo chuckled. "Now what are you going to do- carve me out of her? That will only damage the girl, not me."

"I warn you, Yanluo," Will's voice trembled, "leave her alone."

"Can't, shan't, won't," Yanluo chimed. Upon studying Will's face for a moment, Yanluo spoke again, in a cunning tone. "My, isn't your grief simply endearing. Here you are, then, Herondale; I will make you a deal after all."

"On my terms," Will said, guarded. Yanluo rolled Tessa's eyes.

"Come now, that would be too much of a bonus. No, this is it: I am going to stay in this form. I am not going to leave it. I am not even going to use any sort of demonic power to stop you from killing me. If you are to kill me, you kill the girl, too. These are my terms, and they are final."

The look on Will's face was that of someone who woke up from a nightmare, only to discover that in reality things were much worse.

"No," he whispered. Tessa smirked at him, bending to sit at the edge of the bed, one leg over the other.

"Now to watch you squirm," Yanluo murmured through her mouth. "Will you do it, to save your parabatai?"

At Will's look of surprise, she snorted. "Come now, William Herondale- I am a Greater Demon, after all. Don't think I don't know that you don't want to kill me out of anger or revenge. You want to save James Carstairs- kill me, and my blood will no longer poison him. I am giving you the opportunity to stop it- I am giving you the chance to kill me when I am at the most vulnerable point I can be. So, will it be Jem's life, or will it be Tessa Gray's? The choice is yours."

…**cliffhanger! I would hide behind Will and Jem again, but Jem is extremely weak, and Will is in the middle of an internal emotional breakdown, so…I know! *grabs Church* hahaha, nobody can attack me now! Please review to tell me what you thought of this chapter- and what you think Will is going to do ;). **


	27. Chapter 26 Meet The Parents

**Hi guys. So, I've got 3 chapters stored up and ready to go! Here's the first one. This chapter finally has the Will/Jem long-time-coming confrontation we've all been waiting for (dun dun dun!) and sheds a little light on Tessa's true nature. Apologies for any errors that may have been made story-line wise: I don't have my copies of Clockwork Angel/Prince right now, so I'm going off memory in terms of plausible explanations etc. Also, I recently realised how truly appalling the layout of the story is- when I put it on the site it completely takes out any spacing/paragraphing I have done, and you really shouldn't have to put up with that, so I've tried to fix it up a bit- _really_ hope it works. So sorry if it doesn't. Anyway, hope you like the chapter****. **

HARRYPOTTER4EVER: **hello **** here's the next post- sorry, it's been a little while! Thanks for reviewing!**

Red: **Oh, thank you! Don't kill Will or Tessa? Hmm, we shall see about that. I take it that means it's alright if I kill Jem? :P (joking, joking…ish)**

Guest: **thank you very, very much. I'm really glad you like it! **

Monica: **hola! ****Yeah, they really never do get a break, do they? I suppose it's more interesting to read/write about Will and Tessa racing against time to save Jem's life than to read/write about Will, Tessa and Jem playing cards on a chilly evening. Wait, I take that back- imagine Will playing poker! It is honestly so, so amazing to hear that you like the story so much. I certainly hope the ending doesn't disappoint! There's a lot happening at the same time- and it all comes down to the same end ****. I can't wait to read Clockwork Princess to see how Cassie brings it all to a close! Wow, I just realised this is quite a long reply. Ah, well :P.**

Amanda: **hello and thank you for reviewing! So happy you liked it- and heeere's the next update!**

ShadowKisssed: ***evil cackles* muahaha, this is just the beginning! :- ). Thanks for reviewing though- I assure you, this is probably good practice for the real CP2, with 45349590% more evilness guaranteed ****.**

Guest: **thanks! Haha, just wait, the drama is just beginning ****. You're right, though- Tessa can't die. I suppose that leaves me in a room with Will, Jem, Henry, Charlotte, Gideon, Gabriel, Cecily, Sophie, Mortmain, and a big axe. The question is, who should I maim, and who should I kill? :P what do you think? Sorry I was a little slow to update- to make up for it I should have another chapter up tomorrow!**

Jen: **Hi! Oh my gosh, thank you so much- it's such a big compliment to even be compared to anything to do with Cassie ****. Please don't die of anxiety, though! Hmm, you are definitely right about Tessa, she isn't going down without a fight. I suppose you're right about the whole not-killing-me thing. Here you go, then: ***Will gives you a box of chocolates and winks at you***. Suddenly, I have the strong urge to write a short scene about that. **

Francesca: **it does seem like there's always a massive army between 'Will' and 'Happiness', doesn't it? :'( all I can say is, if Clockwork Princess ends with Will still not being happy I'm going to kwfjkhadiksfajd. Know what I mean? :P thank you for reviewing **

Guest: **muahhahaa, I'm afraid it's too late for that! :P **

CP2 CHAPTER 26

MEET THE PARENTS

"Tessa," Will said, voice rising in desperation. "Tessa, can you hear me? Fight it, Tess, fight it-"

Yanluo tossed her hair, eyeing him in amusement. "What makes you think she isn't fighting with all she has? It makes no difference. However hard she tries, this body is mine now. The most she can do is tickle me a bit- rather irritating, really."

"You cannot make me decide," Will said. "You can't-"

"Of course, I can't _make_ you do anything. But if you chose to do nothing, your parabatai will die- and so you will have chosen the girl. There is no middle ground, William- no way of getting around it. One of the two will die, by your hand, if you will."

"Let me speak to her," he demanded. "Let her through."

Yanluo's plain dark eyes glittered with malice. "I suppose that won't hurt at all…come along, Miss Gray, then. The Shadowhunter wishes an audience with you." She inclined her head, smiling, and then let out a most horrific shriek.

Suddenly, the bedroom door swung ajar, to reveal Jem, standing in his nightclothes at the door.

"What on earth-" his eyes went to Will, and then to Tessa, fixing on her black eyes as she screamed.

"James!" Will spun around, holding up his hands to stop him. "You should not be here-"

"Will." Tessa was croaking now, and when he turned back, he saw, with some amount of relief, that her eyes were brown once more.

"Tessa," forgetting Jem for the moment, he dropped to his knees before her worriedly. "Are you alright? Is the demon gone?"

Tessa shook her head, gasping for air. "Yanluo is still here," she said, "I can feel it…it hurts…it…it's burning…" she scrunched her eyes shut and winced in pain.

"_Yanluo?_"

Tessa opened her eyes and saw Jem, standing at the doorway, shock and betrayal written all over his face.

"Jem." She turned back to Will. "I'm sorry…I was so stupid, I thought I was strong enough."

"Tessa, listen to me," he said. "I am going to fix this-"

"No." She caught his wrist and gripped it very tightly. "No, Will- don't you see? It's so perfectly obvious- it's the Cure- we found it!"

"What is the Cure?" Jem said. "What is going on? Will Herondale, tell me what has happened to Tessa, right now!" It was the closest Jem had ever been to mad. Tessa looked from Will to Jem, and back again.

"You have to kill me," she said, as though it was the simplest thing in the world. "It's the cure, Will, and you know it. You know what you have to do."

* * *

"_Kill_ you?" Jem's expression was murderous. He turned to Will, grabbing his other arm forcefully. "William, a word- _now_." Before Will could say anything, Jem was dragging him out the door, where Sophie was standing, peering in anxiously.

"Goodness- has something- is Miss Gray-"

"Take her to the infirmary," Jem said, without looking at her, "she is very feverish and confused. Watch over her- ensure that she rests, and does not try to move." He had marched Will further down the hall so quickly he didn't see Sophie curtsy and enter the room to carry out his orders.

"Easy, Carstairs- easy," Will was saying, but Jem did not listen. At last they reached the end of the hall, and, wrenching open the nearest door to an uninhabited guest room, he threw his parabatai in it, letting Will go and slamming the door behind him.

"You have one minute," he said, as calmly as he possibly could, "to explain to me what just happened- why you were in Tessa's bedroom, why Tessa spoke of _Yanluo_ of all demons, and why she wants you to _kill her_."

Will drew in a long breath. "Look, James, you must know, I never intended-"

"You're wasting time," Jem said. "Tell me. Now." His whole face was cold, his alarmingly dilated pupils filling almost his whole eyes.

"You're _dying,_ James," Will said, voice breaking. "You cannot honestly have expected those of us closest to you not to try to help."

"I asked you to stop looking for a cure," he said. "I _asked_ it of you."

"Well, I didn't- alright?" Will said, voice growing louder. "I could not stand by and watch you die, Jem- in just the same way that I know you could not just stand by and watch _me_ die, such is our bond. I have told you before, James, and yet you do not believe me- we are one and the same. You are more than my friend- more than my family- and I have failed my family miserably in my life. I stood idle and watched Ella die, and I abandoned my parents, abandoned Cecily, so I was not even there to protect them when Mortmain came to call. So you must know, Jem, how foolish it was for you to request that of me- for I _am _selfish, that much, you know about me- and I am not willing to live on without you. And nor is Tessa. So we tried. Finally, I came across some information- talk that if a demon were to be killed, its blood would no longer work its poison. So I asked Magnus to help me summon Yanluo- and when he refused to help, I turned to Tessa. She was only meant to Change into the demon so that I could speak to it- arrange to meet it in her true form, a death match. But it was too strong… it overpowered Tessa. And it has no intention of leaving Tessa's body…"

"That is why Tessa asked you to kill her," Jem said in a deadly calm manner. "Because now the Greater Demon is inside of her. You either kill her- and therefore, Yanluo- or the poison shall take me."

"James," Will said, "we will figure something out- I will ask Magnus-" there was a loud smacking noise, cutting off Will's words, as Jem's fist collided heavily with his chin. Suddenly, Jem was throwing punches and elbows wildly at Will.

"Jem," Will croaked from his now bleeding mouth. "Jem, calm-"

"Calm down?" Jem said incredulously. He landed another punch. "I cannot believe you, Will. I knew you were selfish, but I cannot believe that you were so completely _self centred_ that you actually risked Tessa's life to follow through with one of your stupid, reckless, suicidal plans! It's all well and good for you to live on the verge of death everyday, it's who you are- but to involve Tessa- by the Angel, Will, how could you? _I love her_!"

"And you think I don't?" It was the wrong thing to say, Will knew, yet it needed to be said. Slowly, panting, Jem dropped his fists to his sides, and Will straightened up, hands lifting to cup his bloody chin.

"So it is true, then," Jem said, voice empty. "I had hoped it was not."

Will put his hands up in defeat. "I wish things were different," he said. "I did not know that you knew…"

"Even now, I do not know everything," Jem said. "But I witnessed what happened at Mortmain's; Mortmain wanted me to see it- probably to shake my loyalty, I'd imagine. I saw her say that she loved you."

"You… you saw that?" Will said, voice ridden with guilt. "Did you see...did you hear, anything else?"

Jem smiled sadly. "I did not," he said. "Clearly, I missed out on something." He looked at Will. "Do you know what my first thought was, when I came into Tessa's bedroom today? I was wondering what you were doing in my fiance's bedroom. And then I remembered what I had said to her today- I remembered that I plainly told her that I could not marry her- and I was angry at myself for pushing her towards you."

"You are no longer engaged?" Will said incredulously. Jem blinked at him.

"I would have thought you knew," Jem said. "Did Tessa not tell you right away? Does this not mean that the two of you are going to-"

"She told me nothing- although that would explain the fact that she had been crying. Anything that Tessa and I ever had was called off," Will said bitterly. "For you. To make you happy. Carstairs, you goddamned fool- you could have had her."

Jem sucked in his breath sharply. Then he shook his head.

"No," he said. "No, I couldn't. Because she would not really have been with me. Not completely. I had no idea…I did not know that anything was happening between the two of you. Now, looking back, I remember our conversations, and I remember how she would ask me about you." His eyes darkened. "The thing is, Will- I thought you knew how I felt. You told me that you did, when I told you of my feelings- you said you had saved Tessa in the tea warehouse because you knew what she meant to me."

"What was I supposed to have told you?" Will said. "That I did it because _I_ loved her? Your fiancé? I couldn't do it." He hesitated. "How long? How long have you loved her for?"

Jem shrugged miserably. "I cannot say if I loved her from the moment I met her," he said, "but I believe it would be accurate to say that every day she lived here, at the institute, my feelings grew." He arched an eyebrow at Will. "And you? How long have you loved her?"

Will chuckled darkly. "It is the same story as yours," he said. "Since I rescued her…since I read the letters she had written to her brother."

"I saw those," Jem recalled. "In your room. I assumed Charlotte had assigned you to read them- I thought nothing of it."

"Just as I thought nothing of it all those times you spoke kindly to Tessa," Will said. He shook his head incredulously. "How could it be- that we are as close as we are, and yet we were completely oblivious to the fact that the both of us were falling in love with the same girl?"

Jem sighed. "I expect it was precisely because we were too busy falling in love with that girl to pay much mind to the other." He looked at Will. "You know, if it were anyone but you, I would not forgive you for it, Will. But it_ is_ you… and you know that I would give you anything. But Tessa..."

"I know," Will nodded. "If it were anyone else. It is so with me, as well." He shook his head. "What are we going to do?"

"The only thing that is left to us," Jem said, after a pause. "We have to protect her- get Yanluo out of her."

"Promise me that we will find a way to kill Yanluo after that," Will said, grabbing Jem's arm.

"Will," Jem said gently, "there are priorities here-"

"You're right, there _are_ priorities," Will said. "Your life, and Tessa's. Those are the priorities- and we _will_ save both of you."

"If it is one or the other," Jem smiled tightly. "You know which one of us must be let go."

Will shook his head decidedly. "No."

"Will," Jem said, "You are acting like a stubborn child again."

"And_ you_ are acting like an old man making peace with his impending death," Will snapped. "But you are not yet _eighteen,_ James."

"Will," Jem said, "I don't _want_ to die. I think the whole ordeal is grossly unfair. I am angrier about my situation than I ever let anyone see- even you. But if I can die to save Tessa," he smiled. "Well, then, at least I would be dying for something."

* * *

Tessa Gray was somewhere very dark, and very hot. Too hot. She had no form, and yet she felt her whole body was burning. She could hear voices in the distance- familiar voices, but she did not know how to respond to them, so she screamed out into this terrible void.

_Oh, stop it, no one can hear you, _the voice of the demon, ringing as clear as day in her head. Suddenly, Tessa found herself standing in the midst of a lonely grey field, every tree bare of leaves and of life. Opposite her, a most hideous woman- and it was not that she was unattractive that made her so hideous. No, it was her eyes- plain black and cold- that made her truly ugly. Otherwise, she was in the shape of a tall, middle aged Asian woman, long, black hair splayed across her back, hanging loose at her waist, body fastened in a tight black lace dress. And Tessa knew immediately who it was.

"Yanluo," she hissed between her teeth, stepping backwards. The woman was staring at her, expressionless. "Where am I? What is this? What have you done?"

"Will you never cease asking questions?" her voice seemed to scrape through the air, like Church's nails clawing across the floor. "I haven't taken you anywhere- merely made it easier for us to communicate, since you insist on fighting me. We are inside your head."

"This is what you look like?" she said cautiously, stepping backwards. "Your true form?"

Yanluo threw back her head and laughed. "My true form, dear, is roughly the size of the tower of London. This is merely the face I choose to have for interacting with," she wrinkled her nose, "the lesser races."

"Yet you do not know what race I am of," Tessa said, "for I am not human."

"No," she mused, "and yet I know exactly what you are."

Tessa froze. "You're lying," she said.

"Never," Yanluo sounded truly appalled. "My dear, do you really think so little of me? That is no way to treat your family."

It was as if time itself had stopped- nothing was fast, or slow, or even moving at all, aside from this impending, dreaded feeling that flooded through Tessa's every fibre, an echo, a chorus of _no. _Suddenly, Jessamine's voice was echoing in her head, so loudly and clearly that it could not be ignored.

'_He said your father was a demon, and that your mother was a Shadowhunter.'_

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said faintly. Yanluo eyed her with cold amusement.

"Don't you?" she said in a deadpan voice. "Let me clarify: you, Theresa Gray, are a curious blend of races. Half of you, the stronger half, is demonic. And I am one of your last living relatives."

* * *

_Richard Gray wore an expensive suit, it's material too fine to ward away the cold of the snow outside, and he shivered as he looked down from the window, smiling at the sight before him; for it was the love of his life, Elizabeth, who stood in a veiled dress in the midst of all the snow, cheeks flushed red from the cold, and a smile to rival the harsh winter spread widely across her features. Elizabeth _Gray_, as she would soon be. _

"_Don't you know it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?" he called to her with some amusement. She grinned back at him._

"_And yet it was never specified as to who would receive the bad luck," she said. "the bride, or the groom. What do you think? Am I cursed? Or have I cursed you?" She raised her eyebrows._

_He sighed, hiding a grin. "You'll freeze if you stay out there. Go, hurry along- I shall see you at the end of the aisle in Church."_

_She furrowed her brow at him. "Are you not going to tell me that I look beautiful, Richard?"_

_He chuckled then, and allowed himself to truly look at her- her dark hair tied behind her head, lips crimson as her cheeks- and the gold dress that matched his own attire. _

"_It doesn't need saying," he said softly. She laughed a little, waving up at him. "Although I don't know why we are dressed in gold!" he added. _

"_I've told you," she said, "it is a family tradition." She stepped backwards, glancing at the glowing church behind her. "I do believe they are almost ready for us." She nodded up at him. "I will see you soon, _fiancé_." He watched as she turned on her heels and hurried for the church, and grinned to himself as he thought about how she always moved like that- always as though she were in a great hurry to be somewhere. This time, he wanted to hurry, as she did. He could not wait until she was his wife._

* * *

Tessa gasped and spluttered, all to Yanluo's crude amusement.

"What in heaven's name was that?"

"Or in hell's," Yanluo said conversationally. "That was a piece of your past, dear- a crucial one, at that. Surely you recognised your own mother?"

Tessa shook her head. All that she had just witnessed was so clearly imprinted in her mind. She could still feel the chill of winter air, still see the gold of her mother's dress as it trailed through the snow. _Gold._

"She was a Shadowhunter," she spoke out loud, disbelieving.

"Well observed," Yanluo said sarcastically. Tessa shook her head again, not able to fathom it.

"That isn't…I was told that my mother had no idea what she truly was," she blurted out. Yanluo smirked in the manner of one who knew a secret.

"Indeed. And yet she lived the life of any Shadowhunter- in an Institute, even."

"Then she _did _know?"

"I do not pretend to be interested in the true nature of that woman," Yanluo drawled. "But doubtles there was something."

"But my father," she said, "my father was not a demon. He was there- he was _human_. He was certainly no kin of yours- you're lying."

"Richard Gray was indeed the most mundane of all mundanes- completely oblivious to the Shadow World, despite the fact that he was marrying one of the Nephlim- something I expect your mother never thought worthy of mentioning to him. But he is not your father."

"He is," Tessa said. "I have seen photographs of him. Aunt Harriet-"

"Your denial," Yanluo interrupted loudly, "is ever tiresome and irritating."

"Then show me," Tessa said defiantly. "If all you have to say is so true, then you will show me proof."

Yanluo was silent for a moment before smirking at Tessa. "Are you sure that is what you want?" she stepped intimidatingly closer. "The truth can be a dangerous thing to know. And to ask it of a Demon, no less…my, my, little girl, aren't you out of your depth?"

"All this time," she said boldly, "all my life, I have wanted to find out what I am. I am sure."

"In that case," Yanluo said, voice packed rich with morbid delight, "allow me to tell you your story, Theresa Gray. From the night it began."

* * *

Suddenly, the field around Tessa and Yanluo disappeared, quickly replaced by what seemed to be the cosy inside of a small church. Beautiful stained glass windows had carved in them the tales of old religions, while a small group of people were seated, buzzing, as though waiting for something to happen. Of the group, Tessa noticed that many bore gold accessories- women with gold ribbons in their hair, and men with gold belts. On some, she could even make out worn out, white markings on their skin.

"Shadowhunters," she breathed, and then stopped, not wanting to draw attention to herself. To her surprise, however, nobody had noticed her. She turned to ask Yanluo about it, but when she spun around, the demon was gone. "Yanluo," she hissed, but to no avail. Abandoned, and curious as ever, she turned back to the crowd around her, eyes fastening on a man and woman, both wearing gold on their person, standing in close proximity with one another, both looking on with loving eyes at a small girl who was prancing about the place, hair thick and brunette, eyes the same chocolate colour as Tessa's own. She noticed identical rings, each bearing the same mark upon them, and she thought of Jem's Carstairs family ring. This was a family of Shadowhunters, she realised.

"Quiet!" someone shouted, and the chatter about the place began to cease. "Silence, everybody! Look here, it is the bride!" Somewhat hastily, a small band of three in the corner of the church began to play a fast-paced romantic melody on the violin. Tessa winced at the sound, thinking wistfully of Jem's skill with the instrument, and she looked on with everyone else as a tall, beautiful woman dressed in gold came through the doors, with no father to escort her down the isle. Her mother.

"Doesn't Elizabeth look beautiful?" she could hear people saying- and she searched through the crowd of faces gathered in the church, searching for familiar features, wondering which of them could be part of her family, aside from the Shadowhunter pair and their daughter. The bride did not seem to notice any of the muttered compliments. Her eyes were fixed directly ahead, at the man that waited for her, fidgeting nervously with his suit. Tessa smiled a very small smile when the bride and groom finally met, linking their arms tightly, as the ceremony began- more than anything because she saw the way that the two looked at each other. It was the way that she had imagined she would be looked at on her wedding day, from when she was a little girl. Of course, when she was a little girl, she had dreamt of a wedding in white, with a rather ordinary gentleman- although, to her, of course, he would be far more special than that. She had not imagined herself to be dressed in gold and in love with a Shadowhunter- a union which would need to be approved by a powerful order if he wanted to keep his standing. She had not imagined that, even if the Clave did approve, she would prepare for the wedding trying to keep her mind off another man- someone who had an equal claim to her heart. And she realised then that even if, by some miracle, Jem had not called off their engagement, it was highly unlikely that they would spend their wedding as happily and carelessly as her mother was spending hers.

"Are there any here who have reason to object to the union of this man and this woman?" the phrase was spoken in such a manner that clearly the priest was merely going through the motions, and was expecting no complications. Elizabeth, however, did not appear to be that way. In fact, at those words, she glanced into the faces of those around her in agitation, as though silently pleading with someone. The second Tessa began to search for the person she was looking at, however, the silence had ended, and the priest continued on with the ceremony, finalising with a gentle kiss between Elizabeth and Richard Gray. When they turned back to face the people around them, both had the biggest smiles on their faces, each radiating with a whirlwind of different emotions that all stemmed from the same love. Pride, honour, giddiness, happiness, it was all clear for all to see. But, as a hearty burst of applause and chorus of congratulations and celebration erupted from those around them, Elizabeth's smile changed. Suddenly, there was a determined, hard edge to her smile, unyielding- almost like a threat, or a warning. And she was staring right through Tessa, who, of course, she could not see. Curious as she was cautious, Tessa stepped aside and tilted her head back to see who it was that her mother was looking at with that dangerous expression. Sure enough, she was met by the figure of a man. A man in a long coat, top hat on despite the fact that he was indoors, his jaw set in a grim fashion. And she gasped, because she had seen this man before.

"Mortmain," she said out loud.

* * *

Suddenly, the scene about her changed, so rapidly and strangely that her mouth was caught hanging open, as though she wanted to scream but could not. Blinking to adjust to the suddenly dark lighting, Tessa saw that she was now standing in a room with Richard Gray, who was checking his hair in the mirror, rather briskly.

"Richard," a voice rang out from some other room. Richard's mouth twitched into a smile.

"Mrs Gray?" he replied. From here, Tessa could hear Elizabeth's laughter.

"Just hurry up, won't you?" she called. Richard grinned, and smoothed his hair again agitatedly.

"I will be right with you," he said. Had she really been there, or had the circumstances been different, Tessa might have smiled at his obvious nerves- but Yanluo's words, Jessamine's, Will's, they were all echoing inside her head, each telling her that she was something horrific- something impossible. Yanluo had told her that Richard Gray was not her father- yet everything that she had seen had indicated that he was. So she frowned, and she waited for something to go amiss- for, surely, that was why Yanluo was showing her this. It came to Tessa's great expectation and dismay when the dim light started flickering- nor when a gust of chilly air from the ice outside blew back the curtains of the room. Nor was she startled when the creature appeared, as if from nowhere, behind Richard in the mirror.

It was with a terrible, dark feeling that Tessa stood and watched as the creature she knew to be a demon- scaly and bright and awful as it was- struck out across Richard, a clawed hand covering his mouth so that he could not cry out. She saw his face when he saw the reflection of the demon that had hold of him in the mirror, saw the terror, the disbelief, in his eyes, and with a sinking heart, she felt she knew well what would happen next. Opening it's mouth wider than any human could, the demon let out an other wordly roar- and with it, poured out the most curious looking stuff- a gust of dark, glowing substance, erupting from it's throat and flowing towards Richard, straight into his back, neck, and head as though he were absorbing it into him. By the way that Richard was shaking and twitching against the form of the demon, she supposed that was exactly what he was doing. Soon, the dark substance was gone entirely into his body- the demon's form equally vanished. There was only Richard, panting and grinning into the mirror, every feature the same, aside from his eyes- every part of them as black as Yanluo's.

"Richard!" Tessa jumped, having completely forgotten about Elizabeth in the other room through the horror of the situation. She turned, alarmed, to the possessed Richard, and she raised her hands as if to stop him, but it was useless- her hands slipped away, as though she were trying to grasp water.

"I'm coming, dear," the demon called out with Richard's tongue. He smirked to himself, and only Tessa was there to see it. "Elizabeth Gray. The day you made that name for yourself will be the day you never forget. Mark my words."

****  
**So, we know what Tessa is now- or do we? (cue suspenseful music and shifty eyes). Leave a review to let me know what you think! Why was Mortmain at her mother's wedding? Do you think Will and Jem's conversation should've been more '_she's mine!' _'_no, she's mine, fiend!' _? :)**

**I would look for another character to hide behind, but I know you guys will just find a way around it. All right then. No shield this time. COME AT ME BROS!**


	28. Chapter 27 Sealed Fate

**Howdy everyone. So, here's the next chapter, and the plot thickens as they run into yet another complication. Remember that flashback of Jem's at the end of Chapter 22- when Mortmain had a proposition for him? *evil smirks***

**Don't forget to review if you liked it- or if you didn't. Thank you to those of you who reviewed the last one! (I'm trying to update as often as I can because after tomorrow I'll be back at school, so I won't have as much time.) **

CP2 CHAPTER 27

SEALED FATE

Sophie looked on worriedly as Tessa tossed and turned, her whole body writhing in the infirmary bed, sudden movements shaking the weak foundations of the bed. She glanced up as the door opened, revealing Charlotte and Henry, both hurrying in looking extremely tired.

"Has there been any improvement?" Charlotte asked, folding her arms across her chest as she grew nearer, peering down at Tessa. Sophie shook her head grimly.

"Nothing, ma'ame," she said. "She's been moving like this for a while now- talking some, too."

"Did she say anything important?" Henry inquired.

"Nothing to my understanding," Sophie replied. "Just bits and pieces… something about her parents…"

"Sophie, what on earth is going on?"

"I don't know, Miss," Sophie said, chewing her lip. "I was going to check up on Miss Gray- see if she needed anything, you know? She- she ain't had an easy afternoon, I'd think, looked pretty upset if you ask me. Anyway, I was about to walk in when all of a sudden, there's this awful racket coming from inside, and I saw Mr Herondale and Mr Carstairs. They were just leaving the room in something of a hurry- I asked what was happening, and Mr Carstairs just told me to take Tessa to the infirmary. It weren't easy getting her down here. She was talking some nonsense- kept telling me I had to kill her, foolish things like that."

Charlotte glanced at Henry sharply. "Why would she say such a thing?" Henry shrugged, bewildered.

"The poor girl has been through a lot," he said. "We forget that her Aunt died- and her brother. Not to mention she's got no idea what she is. Perhaps it became too much for her." He looked between Charlotte and Sophie hopelessly for confirmation.

"No," Sophie said firmly. "Tessa is strong. And she has her family here. It is something else."

"What we need is to find Will and Jem," Charlotte said decidedly. "Where are they? It isn't like them to have wander off when Tessa is in danger. I am particularly surprised at James." She gasped, a worried look coming over her. "You don't think he has had another of his…_attacks,_ do you?"

"Never fear." A mild voice floated in, and the party of three turned to see Will and Jem at the door to the infirmary, both appearing tussled, and Will bearing his share of bruises and blood. Jem gave Charlotte a weak smile. "I am alright."

"Goodness, you look a fright," Sophie blurted out.

"Thanks, Sophie," Will said sarcastically, but he looked at her in such a way that she held her tongue and questioned them no further.

"How is Tessa?" Jem said at once.

"She would be a great deal better if you could tell us what has befallen her," Charlotte said. "The two of you were there, were you not?"

"Charlotte," Will exhaled slowly. "You must remain very calm-"

"Yanluo," Jem said factually. Charlotte, Henry and Sophie each stared blankly at him.

"What?" Henry said, confused.

"Tessa attempted to Change into Yanluo," Will explained, guilt thick in his tone, and he went on to retell the tale of how Tessa had come to the state she was in.

"You-" Charlotte said incredulously when he had finished. She shook her head, burying her face in her hands. "Will Herondale, what were you thinking? And here I always thought you were the clever one-"

"Him?" Jem and Henry said in united indignation.

"Yanluo is here, then," Sophie interrupted. "Inside the Institute…inside Tessa." Her features were unreadable.

"We must find a way to force Yanluo out of her," Jem said. "Will and I have summoned the warlock Magnus Bane to help."

"You'd better hope he _can_ help us," Charlotte said, rolling up her dress sleeves. She looked at Tessa, who had stopped tossing so violently and was now panting very quickly and lying on her back, unmoving. "Because I fear that our Tessa will be hard to reach. Yanluo is strong."

"What else can we do?" Will hissed.

Charlotte held up her hands. "I am by no means saying that we should give up- of course not. We must do whatever it takes to save Miss Gray. Henry and I will check the books now, shan't we? Sophie, could you alert Gideon of the situation? And Gabriel and Cecily, too. It is best that everyone is aware of what is happening. We need as much help as we can get. When will Magnus arrive, Will?"

"He should be on his way the moment he receives my word." Charlotte nodded, taking Henry's hand.

"Both of you stay with Tessa," she instructed. "Try to speak to her. If we can communicate with her, we have a much better chance of figuring out how to work against Yanluo without hurting her."

They left the room, Sophie scurrying after them to fetch the others, until Will and Jem were left alone with Tessa in the infirmary.

* * *

"No." Tessa said firmly, closing her eyes. "No, it isn't possible. It makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense, dear," Yanluo said calmly. "You asked for the truth, and there you have it. The night of your mother's wedding to Richard Gray, he was possessed by my brother. From there, you were born. Half Shadowhunter, half Demon- and no accident, either."

"What," Tessa said through clenched teeth, "is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that somebody wanted you to be born," Yanluo said. "Take it as a compliment- for many are born into this world as unwanted and as useless as a parasite."

"And who was that person?" Tessa felt close to tears. "Who was it- and why? _What am I_? What am I supposed to be- to do?"

"Patience, young grasshopper," Yanluo smirked. "All in good time."

"Leave me," she whispered. "Let me talk to my friends. Let me _out_."

"So you can help them try to get rid of me? Theresa, I am offended," she said. "I thought we were having a lovely timing getting acquainted."

Tessa spat at her in reply. Yanluo tutted.

"Dear me- is it my face? Do you feel it isn't trustworthy enough?" she mused. "Here. How about this."

With a sickening blur, Yanluo's shape began to shift and grow, until it was the body of James Carstairs that stood before her, black beetle eyes glinting at her.

"Better?" Tessa hated the way she was using Jem's voice- hated that she was associating herself with him in any manner. "Come now, Tessa, work with me here." Jem arched an eyebrow at her. "Not handsome enough for you, is that it?" suddenly, it was Will instead, his features shockingly different now that they were not set with a pair of dark blue eyes. "What about him? You like him, don't you? Or is it_ love_? It is so very complicated here in your mind," he laughed. Tessa snarled furiously.

"_Stop it_." With a whirl, Will shifted back to the old hag Tessa had originally seen as Yanluo.

"You are no fun at all- has anyone ever told you that?" Yanluo said spitefully.

"You are a Greater Demon," Tessa said. "I doubt you would know much about 'fun'."

"Oh, I don't know," her eyes glinted. "Killing dear Mr and Mrs Carstairs was quite fun indeed."

Tessa clenched her fists, her whole body positively shaking with anger. "You're a monster."

"I'm a demon, child," Yanluo said tiredly. "And call me what you like- I could still peel your flesh off your bones slowly enough for you to remain conscious throughout the whole ordeal."

"But you haven't." Tessa said fiercely.

"Don't flatter yourself into thinking you are at all important- or that you have some kind of power over me, little girl. You are not, and you certainly do not. But the tie between a mother and her children is a strong one, and I have not forgotten what Jian's parents did to my nest. It is a crime that will never be punished enough. With you, I have the chance to truly torture Jian, and his spirited friend, Will Herondale. I saw the both of their faces when they recognised me. Not thrilled to see their precious pet possessed, were they?"

Tessa opened her mouth, but she didn't know what to say. Everything she might have wanted to burst out was swallowed up by the grief, the anger, the fear-instead, somehow, she ended up saying:

"Why was Axel Mortmain at my mother's wedding?"

"Mortmain?" Yanluo said, without much interest.

"The Magister," Tessa corrected herself. Yanluo raised her eyebrows in recognition.

"Why indeed?" Yanluo said. "I know enough about my brother's business that night to know the names of all those present at the wedding. The Clockwork Prince was not one of them."

"Why do you call him that?" Tessa said, déjà vu overcoming her. _Clockwork Prince. _Yanluo rolled her eyes.

"It is a title his parents came up with for him- for it was he who would inherit their task."

"The Clockwork Army? Was that it?" Tessa asked, heart beating very quickly.

"It is of little interest to me," Yanluo said. "They were shapeshifters- low down as far as the chain of order goes. Word was they wanted to inherit a city or two by their own means."

"They wanted to inherit London!" Tessa cried out.

"Let them take it. London is but an ant's nest in a whole world," Yanluo mused. Then she raised her eyebrow. "Ah, I see. The Clockwork Army_ has_ risen. Credit to the mudane, I must say. It would have been fairly well thought through for him to have made it thus far, what with his parents' being…absent. Of course, he still has you."

"He does not _have me_."

"Oh, but he does," she said, "you just don't know it. Therein lies the answer to your question, Theresa."

"Which question?" she snapped.

"The question as to who made the deal," Yanluo said. "You think that powerful Demon's such as my brother would bother with such simple tasks as fooling a Shadowhunter into giving birth to a monstrous hybrid? No. He was commissioned. Paid. By the Clockwork Prince."

Tessa gulped, closing her eyes for a very long moment.

"And the reason you knew so much," she whispered. "About the wedding- my parents? Why did you know the names of all the guests?"

At that, Yanluo smiled as genuine a smile as Tessa had ever seen. "Why, Tessa, why do you think you have no other living relations? Why do you think your parents died in a 'carriage crash'? Once Mortmain had _you_ arranged, he commanded my brother to kill each person present at the day of the unhappy union between Elizabeth and Richard. I chipped in, of course- completely free of charge to the mundane. A deed straight out of the goodness of my heart. Anything to help out a sibling, after all."

* * *

Without a second thought, Tessa threw herself at Yanluo with every ounce of strength she had, arm drawing back wildly, and she jammed her elbow heavily into Yanluo's ribs-

There was a loud crack and Tessa fell to the ground of the dead field around them, blood from a fresh cut on her forehead dripping down her face. Yanluo's amused smirk was gone, and suddenly Tessa felt completely terrified of the demon before her.

"That wasn't very nice, Tessa," she spat, kicking her hard in the stomach so she doubled over, wincing. "I suppose that's what I get for trying to be civil with the half-breed."

"Tell me this," Tessa said, more than anything in hopes of distracting Yanluo so she would not attack her, "how am I alive if I am half Shadowhunter and half…" she couldn't bring herself to say it. "I mean, I had heard that any child of the two races would be born dead."

"That is what the Shadowhunters would tell you," Yanluo said colourlessly. "That is a myth- although they would not know- there have been very few cases of Shadowhunter and Demon crossbreeds- most Shadowhunters are vigilant enough to see the signs of Demonic Possession in partners," she smirked. "Even so, when exceptions are made- when _mistakes_ are made, those women who were deceived by our kind are too proud to bare it. They kill their newborn half-breed children and say that they were born dead, to save themselves the shame." Tessa flinched. "What would genuinely happen, if a half demonic shadowhunter were to be born, is an oddity indeed."

"Is that what I am?" she asked stiffly. "Am I _genuinely_ half of each?"

"You were when you were a baby," Yanluo said mildly. "These days, you are more demon than the latter."

"_What_?"

"The oddity is," Yanluo explained, "that, while Nephlim blood is supposed to be dominant, so is demon blood. Your body has been a warzone of demon and angel blood, each fighting the other for majority. Sooner or later, however, you will become one or the other- one half of your origin will dominate- though, of course, you will still probably have the benefit of the abilities that come with either." She tilted her head to the side. "I notice you trapped me here by Changing," she mused, "that is a shape-shifting ability- it is demonic, not angelic. Each time you Change, you are inviting the Demon blood in- you are encouraging it. I expect that is what the Magister wanted when he instructed the Dark Sisters to train you."

"How can you possibly know about that?" Tessa said, bewildered.

"I know all that you know- I am in your head," Yanluo said. "I also know everything my brother told me about the mundane who made a deal with him. It was not the most interesting case- but the memory a demon has of it's deals is comparative to none."

Tessa exhaled choppily, processing what she had just been told. It was odd; while before, she had felt completely normal, now that Yanluo had told her about the demon blood, it was almost as if she could feel it- a slow poison creeping through her veins.

"You can feel it- can you not?" Yanluo said. "Getting stronger… ironic, is it not, that the same blood that is poisoning your beloved Carstairs is the source of all your power?"

"How do I stop it?" she said frantically. "How do I… get rid of the demon in me?"

"Dying?" Yanulo suggested unhelpfully. "First you ask me for answers, now you ask for solutions- no. I am not your fairy godmother. May I remind you that I am here to torture you?"

It all sunk in. "That is why you have told me this," Tessa concluded. "You want me to know…because you want me to know there is nothing I can do. You want me to know that I am a monster."

"Don't look so betrayed," Yanluo said. "You asked, I supplied. You should be thanking me. I may be a demon, but I told you the truth."

"I don't care," she scowled, determined. "I don't care what you say. I will not become a demon. I am not demonic. I Change for the benefit of the Shadowhunters- my _friends_." She remembered what Jem had said, about everything mattering less than what your heart contains, and she ached to see him- to speak to him again. Will's face flashed before her eyes, and then Sophie's, and Charlotte's. "I want to talk to them. Now. I want to wake up."

"We all want things we cannot have," Yanluo simpered. Slowly but surely, an odd sense of strength came over Tessa, and she was strangely confident when she looked Yanluo in the eye.

"I was not asking permission."

* * *

The silence between them was growing ever uncomfortable when Tessa gasped wildly, eyes flying wide open.

"Tessa," they both said at once, stepping closer to her.

"Is it you?" Will added cautiously.

"Will," she said. "Jem. It's me… I…oh, god…"

"Tessa," Will said. He moved to touch her arm, but, catching sight of Jem in his peripheral vision, he stopped. "Are you alright? What's happening?"

"_I know_." Her face was gaunt. "Yanluo, she… showed me…"

"Showed you what?"

"My parent's wedding…" she looked from Will to Jem. "Mortmain," she said at last. "He was there- the Magister. He was at my mother's wedding. A demon- Yanluo's _brother_, he possessed my father on his command… I know what I am. I am half Shadowhunter, half Demon. I saw it- it is true. And it grows worse." She beckoned them closer. "Yanluo said that I am a weapon. She said that the blood inside me- demon and angel, it would fight for dominance, and that every time I Change, the demon part of me grows stronger. She said a day would come when I would be almost entirely one or the other, and Mortmain wants the demon part of me to win…the demon part _is _winning. He's been planning this the whole time, his _Clockwork Army,_ and I am a part of it." She said all of this very quickly, and by the time she had finished, Will and Jem both exchanged sombre looks, startled.

"That is impossible," Will said at last. "It's lies, Tess- there has never been a Shadowhunter and a Demon child- it would be born-"

"Dead," she finished. "Apparently not so. I don't want to believe it, Will, but…" she trembled. "It looked so real- and it feels…I can _feel_ it." Indeed she could, her skin getting hotter and hotter as she turned, twisted- as every part of her body was slowly taken by the darkness in her own heart.

"Tessa, listen to me," Jem said soothingly, "you are not a demon. Take a deep breath. Do you remember what I told you- that day on the bridge?"

"About what your heart contains- about your soul." She nodded, smiling bitterly at him. "I was thinking about it just now." Jem reached for her hand and held it reassuringly in his own.

"Hold on to that, Tessa," he said. "For it is true- I have never believed anything to be more true in my life." Tessa sighed, relieved to feel his cool skin against hers- but she caught sight of Will then, eying their joined hands as though they were taunting him, and she pulled away.

"How are you able to talk to us?" Will said, glancing away. "Did Yanluo let you through?"

"No," she said. "I don't quite know how I did it…it was as if this sort of…power came over me. I wanted to wake up- to speak to you. I just…did it." She shivered. "Yanluo isn't happy about it."

"Stay with us," Jem said at once. "For as long as you possibly can. Magnus is on his way."  
"Magnus," she said, as if dazed.

"You will be alright," Will told her forcefully. "You will be better than alright. I promi-"

"Don't." She closed her eyes. "Don't promise me that, Will- for it is a promise I may have to ask you to break, if Magnus cannot help me."

His jaw tightened. "Tessa-"

"Will is right," Jem said. "You will be okay. There is no need for such talk. The two of you, stop it. No one is dying for me."

"No one is _dying _at all," Will said, with a piercing look at his parabatai. Jem just looked away, not answering.

* * *

Jem stayed with Tessa and Will for well over an hour before he knew, with a sinking feeling, that he could not hold up the pretense any longer. So, telling them that he was going to ask Sophie whether she had informed the others of the situation yet, he took his leave. He did so just in time- for as soon as he reached the hallway, everything around him started spinning, and he scrambled against the wall, catching his breath. He needed _yin fen_, and quickly. Stumbling, he made his way to his bedroom. By the time he reached it, the coughing had begun- the endless coughing, as though something was lodged firmly in his throat, suffocating him. His whole body felt as if it were simmering over a hot fire, and sweat coated his skin. Hands shaking, he reached to the silver box by his bed, opening it hurriedly. There and then, he froze.

The drugs were gone, and in their place, a note.

_Your choice –M_

* * *

Cecily ran into Jem's chambers at once when she heard the coughing, only to find him standing over the box, the tiny note in his hands now.

"Jem?" She glanced quickly over the note, understanding dawning on her. " 'M'. Mortmain. What does this mean? What choice?" Jem just shook his head, shoving her away- but he could not control what he was doing, and he ended up sprawled across the floor. Cecily leaned towards him, alarmed now.

"Leave it, Cecily," he panted. "The 'M' is not for Mortmain. It is no concern of yours."

Darkness clouded over her features. "I am no fool, James. I was Mortmain's _pet _once. I recognise that writing." He doubled over again, jerking suddenly, and her expression changed quickly.

"Jem, you need medicine."  
"You mean poison," he said. "You mean the drug. There is none left. He has taken it."

"No," she said, after a moment of shock. "It's impossible- he would have had to come here, to the Institute-"

"Cecily," he said tiredly, "it is no use. Do you not see how powerful he is?"

"What are you talking about?" she said in a guarded tone. "Listen here, you have to tell me what the note means. What choice? What did he threaten you with?"

"Do not burden yourself with such things," he tried, but at one look at the resolve on her face, he gave up. "Our escape from the Magister's hell house… it went smoothly, did it not? Far too smoothly. We all got away, with nothing but a few Automatons on our tail."

"Charlotte almost died," Cecily said tightly.

"That's not… what I mean to say is, if you think about Mortmain's plan for Tessa- the sheer lengths he went to in order to retrieve her from the Institute in the first place, with all those servants, all those contacts, the effort it would have taken- would you not therefore believe that, once he had her in his grip, he would guard her above all else? And yet, at the rather hastily set up goose chase that Charlotte and Henry set for him, he was off at once, barely leaving the place guarded."

"What are you implying- that he allowed us to escape? That he wanted us to?" her brow furrowed. "That makes no sense."

"Perhaps it makes more sense than you think," he said bitterly. "After all, we were there for no short time, and Tessa had not complied to whatever it is he wanted from her. That, and…"

"And?"

"I believe he has an alternate plan," he said. "And one… one that would involve my cooperation."

Realisation dawned over Cecily. "He wanted you to help him get Tessa on his side- or else he would ensure your deprivation from the one thing that is keeping you alive." She swallowed hard. "Jem, this is important. You must tell me what he asked of you."

"Cecily," Jem said seriously, "I have told no one of this. If I tell you, I must have your word that you will tell nobody else- not even your brother."

"It depends what it is," she said carefully. Jem looked at her imploringly. "Well, what if I have to? What if it's the only way to save you?" she retorted defiantly.

"Then I'm afraid I cannot tell you."

"Jem-" she began, but she broke off, thinking, hard. After a short silence, she sighed her surrender. "It is not as if Will and I are on good speaking terms, anyway. Very well, Carstairs. You have my word."

Jem nodded his appreciation, and cleared his throat. "It was our last day," he said, "and I had just been dragged to the balcony, too see…well. Anyway, needless to say, I was not in a very stable state, factoring in all things. That was when Mortmain came to me. It was the first time I had encountered him personally since arriving. Now, you understand, I _was _angry- of course I was, and I wanted answers. I should have given the bastard a difficult time, as Will would have done- as you did." His mouth twitched into a smile. "But I was too tired, too weak, to be smart, so I just listened." He started coughing again, and Cecily looked around in alarm for a tissue or a bucket, but he held up his hands to stop her and kept talking. "He began by telling me, in short, that Tessa did not love me- that I had no true friends. Tried to isolate me, I think- as is often done in a prison situation. Then he gave me a decision to make."

"Here we go," Cecily murmured.

"He told me that he could see now that he had been isolating, torturing, the wrong person. That I had no real hold over Tessa, and that the bargain he had thought he held over her with me was useless. He apologised. Said that he did not mean for me to become unnecessary collateral damage in his 'business plans'. And then he said that he would make it up to me." He leaned forward. "He said that I could get what I wanted- I could marry Tessa. He said that once his plans were finalised, he would make sure my friends and I would not be harmed."

"He said _you _could marry Tessa?" Cecily said. "I thought he wanted to marry her."

"I do not think," Jem said slowly, "that it was the romance of a marriage that he wanted. No, what mattered to him was the binding. The sense of…control, that would accompany such a union- if done in the right way. And so, he came up with something that would give each of us what we wanted, as he put it." He shifted up his left hand sleeve.

"What are you-" Cecily began, and then she gasped. On Jem's arm was a symbol- a symbol carved into his flesh. "That's a binding rune," she whispered, recognising it at once from her studies.

"Mortmain may be mundane," he said grimly, "but he has contacts in high places throughout Downworld. The Angel knows how, but he found a way to bind himself to a Shadowhunter. I marry Tessa, and he would be bound to her. I would get to be with her, call myself her husband- and he would wreak whatever unimaginable havoc he would with the control he would have over her."

Cecily buried her face in her hands. "Angel," she breathed, shaking her head. "That's…"

"I know," he said. "Intricate."

"You are bound to Mortmain," she said curiously.

"Mores the pity, the bond serves for the purpose of the marriage only," he said. "Mortmain was not foolish enough to bind himself to me in such a way that he would be effected by my ill health- or my death. If it did, this would all be much more simple." Cecily ignored the last part.

"And if you did not accept his offer, he would ensure you that the drug was unavailable to you?"

Jem inclined his head, then gestured to the note.

"It seems as if he knows I made my choice."

"I didn't know you had called off your engagement," Cecily said softly. Jem looked at his feet.

"I had to," he said. "Tessa doesn't understand- nor Will. I told her I did it because I loved her- but why would that make any sense to her? Anyway, it does not matter now, for she can never know the true reason why."

"But why not?" Cecily said. At Jem's look, she added hastily, "I know, I promised I would say nothing to anyone, and I will not- but I do not see why you cannot tell her why. That way, she would know that you do love her. And we could all figure out how to retrieve the _yin fen_ from Mortmain, together."

"It is too late," Jem said calmly. "By now, Mortmain is no doubt moving on to his next plan- for I am certain he has many, many alternative ideas as to how to get what he wants. I will be forgotten to him- dispensable. And I believe that if Mortmain truly wants something, he gets it. Right now, he wants me dead. And so you see, I can tell no one. Especially not now, not with Yanluo of all demons possessing Tessa. I am dying anyway, but we can still save her. I cannot have everyone worrying about me to no ends. It will do no good."

Cecily grabbed his hand. "There is still time," she said. "We can kill Yanluo."

"Perhaps." Jem looked out the window, a peaceful look coming over him. "Look, there- a break in the clouds." He smiled. "You know, where I used to live, every night you could see the stars, clear and bright. My parents and I would climb onto the roof of our home and watch them."

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Reminiscing," she said. "That's what people do when they think of things they will never see again. But you will, James. You will see the stars again, in Shanghai."

"I have been dying my whole life," he said. "I know Will says I am young, but somehow, living with that knowledge has made me old beyond my years. I am tired, Cecily."

"We're _all_ tired," she snapped. "We are all hurt. That does not mean we get to give up."

"There is a difference between giving up, and letting go." Jem's eyes were almost glassy. Cecily shook her head. She raised her hand, as if to place it on his shoulder, then dropped it, getting to her feet instead.

"Where are you going?" Jem said, surprised.

"To the infirmary," she replied. "I want to see how Tessa is. You see, Tessa isn't giving up, and so I want to help her. But I can't help someone who does not even want to save himself."


	29. Chapter 28: Race

**Hi guys! Thanks to the people who favourited/followed the story! Hope you like the chapter- and tell me what you think of the ending: I left a bit of a cliffhanger for you :P**

Shadow Kissed: **thanks for reviewing **** it is an interesting situation indeed. There's still a bit of a mystery surrounding exactly what Tessa is, though- you shall see :P**

Ronni: **haha, wow, thank you so much! That's very flattering. Unfortunately, I am not Cassandra Clare, just a crazed fan :P. Here's the update, though- who can resist Church?**

Lily: **Ah, Jem/Tessa ****. I wish I could tell you- but that would be a bit of a spoiler! Thanks for reviewing.**

Alice: **hi! Thanks for your review. Glad you're liking the story ****. As for Tessa/Jessamine's eye-colour, well, Tessa's are all part of the plot (it'll be revealed probably next chapter), but as for Jessamine, I just always imagined her as having blue eyes for some reason, so I subconsciously kind of ended up writing her that way :P. **

Monica: **hey! No worries haha. I'm sorry if it's all a bit confusing- hopefully it gets more clear over the next two chapters (if not, I can explain it in an A/N). Ah, I really want Cassie to write a scene with Will playing cards now! And the love story is certainly one of the most enticing aspects of the series- can you believe how close CP2 is? We'll finally know who everyone ends up with! Thanks for your review ****.**

Tracy sandler: **hehe :P thank you! Please don't die- here's the next chapter! **

CP2 CHAPTER 28

RACE

"-close, Tess, very close- but not close enough," she heard Will saying as she walked into the infirmary towards Tessa's bed. Cecily tutted in exasperation as she approached.

"Will, what on earth are you-" she stopped abruptly. "Tessa?" For the last she had seen of the girl, Tessa had been unconscious and twisting in her bedsheets, a pained grimace on her face. Now, aside from appearing tired and ruffled, she was awake and normal. In fact, she was almost laughing, and Will sat at the seat beside the bed, grinning at her.

"Cecily," she smiled. "It is good to see you. I have been told you came by briefly before. I hope I did not frighten you."

"I don't get frightened," she said boldly. She hesitated. "What is this?"

"I," Will said, leaning back in his chair, "am endeavouring to keep Tessa awake and alert by way of entertainment."

"He is making me quote things from A Tale Of Two Cities. I receive a point if I recite it perfectly, he receives one if I do not," Tessa explained, a faint smile on her face. "Oh, this is a simply ridiculous game."  
"You know you enjoy it," Will said lazily. He looked at Cecily. "You're not going to run off to tell Mortmain of our activities, are you?" At Cecily's furious and hurt expression, his voice softened. "It's alright, Cecily. I… I would have done the same in your position. You were doing it for mother and father, and I was a stranger to you. I just wish I could apologise enough for allowing it to become like that. Damn the Clave, I should have found some way to keep in contact with you. It was a coward's actions."

"The Law is harsh, but it is the Law," she recited. "I didn't understand that then, but I think I finally do. What matters is that we are family_ now_. And we will find a way to help mother and father. Mortmain has no power over me anymore."

Will nodded, a smile twitching at his lips.

"I would offer to leave the two of you alone to talk, but…" Tessa said awkwardly.

"Oh, no need," Will said, at the same time as Cecily interjected:

"No more emotional revelations, thank you very much." For a moment, everyone was grinning at each other. Then the reality of the situation seemed to strike Will, and his smile clouded over.

"I thought you might be Magnus," he said. "I sent for him a good while ago."

"He'll show up," Cecily said. Tessa glanced uneasily at Will.

"Did you receive a definite reply?"

Will shook his head firmly. "Magnus will be here. This is a matter of urgency, he knows that. And I have told him in my message, I will pay whatever he wants. Besides, he is my friend."

"I didn't know Warlocks had friends."

"There was a time when I thought I was a Warlock," Tessa said quietly, and at once, Cecily looked as though she regretted saying anything.

"And what a mighty Warlock you would be," Will teased, "why, Magnus would have to watch himself- you would surely overtake him in terms of power."

Tessa just rolled her eyes, but she had a fragile look about her that Cecily didn't like at all.

"They told me that Yanluo was possessing you," she said. "Is that still the case?"

Tessa just nodded.

"How are you-"

"She fought Yanluo off," Will said, sounding proud. "That's how she's talking to us. But Yanluo will try to regain control."

Cecily sucked in her breath sharply. "I do hope Magnus arrives soon."

"That makes at least three of us," Tessa said bleakly. "I am not sure how much longer I can take this for."

"I thought our game was a great distraction," Will said reproachfully. He turned to Cecily. "By the way, have you seen James? He ran off a while ago to find someone."

"Jem is…" Cecily swallowed hard, praying that her expression wasn't giving everything away. "probably talking to Gideon," she finished. "Yes, I am quite sure. They are talking about their plans for mother and father, given all that is happening."

Will looked at her steadily for a moment, and she thought he would surely call her bluff, but then he just nodded, turning back to Tessa.

"Well, then, Tess, as you seem to think so poorly of our game, I'm all out of ideas for now."

"Don't," she said at once. "Please don't leave, Will. I cannot do this alone."

"I will be back," Will promised. "Cecily will stay with you for now. I must go and find out for myself if there has been word from Magnus." Tessa looked as if she would protest, but Will was already moving from his chair. "I will send Sophie to see you- I know she will be happy to see you awake."

"Good bye, Will," she sighed. "Oh, and if you see Jem-"

"I'm sure he's already on his way back." Will turned back to give her a reassuring smile. Then he was gone. Tessa and Cecily both stared after him for a moment before the two girls turned to acknowledge each other.

* * *

"I am sorry, I don't know how entertaining I'll be," Cecily apologised. Tessa laughed.

"Oh, no matter- I do not need entertainment," she said. "That was Will's idea."

"He really cares for you," Cecily said. "You do realise that, don't you?"

Tessa stopped laughing, the smile disappearing abruptly from her face.

"I don't know what you are trying to imply."

"I was with the two of you in the cages, Tessa," Cecily said gently. "I am no fool. I know that you care for him too."

Tessa hesitated, blushing furiously. "Is it...is it really so obvious?"

Cecily nodded, smirking. "Oh, completely."

"And you are not…" Tessa struggled to find the words. "You are not angry with me?"

"Angry?" Cecily shrugged. "It isn't any business of mine. Although, if you were just fooling around with his feelings, I would have something to say about it."

"I almost wish I were," Tessa sighed, and Cecily nodded.

"I know about Jem, too," she said. "About how you are no longer to be wed."

Tessa looked away firmly. "Who told you that?" Cecily didn't answer.

"He loves you," she said instead. "You must believe that."

"I…but…" Tessa just shook her head. "Will."

"Will, Jem- you care for them both, and so you are determined not to hurt either of them- and that means not loving either of them," Cecily said. "It is good of you to do so."

"Can…" Tessa winced. "Can we not talk about this, please?"

"Very well." Cecily drew herself up, nodding to Tessa. She hesitated. "Tell me this, Tessa. Would you still marry Jem? If he changed his mind?"

Tessa closed her eyes. "As I said, I would truly prefer not to speak on the matter."

Cecily shook her head. "It isn't fair, you know. They will not move on from you easily. You keep them hanging like puppets on strings."

"Cecily." Tessa sighed. "Please."

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be nasty."

"You are worried about your brother," Tessa said. "It is alright, I understand that. I have no delusions, Cecily. Nothing can come of what I feel for him. Will knows that."

"I hope he does," Cecily replied. "The way he acts around you, it doesn't seem that way."

Tessa glanced to the door Will had disappeared through, a troubled look on her face.

"This is more than Jem and I, or Will and I. This is about Will and Jem. Don't you see, Cecily? That is why, if Magnus cannot help, I must ask you to kill me- me, and Yanluo. If I can't convince your brother to do it, may I count on you to? You must understand, if I die, they will both be alright. Jem will be better than alright- he will have a whole life ahead of him. Mortmain will not be able to use me for any weapon, and Yanluo, of course, will be dead."

"Here is my counter: you will be dead," Cecily surveyed Tessa curiously. "It is in a Nephlim's blood to sacrifice themselves- death is entwined with our lives, each and every day. It is one of the Shadowhunter's most irritable qualities. But you… why are you so willing to die?"

"Perhaps it is the Nephlim in me," Tessa said with a twisted smile. "After all, my mother was a Shadowhunter."

"And your father was a demon."

"It could make me dangerous," Tessa said seriously. "The demon blood. If what I have heard from Yanluo is true, which I pray it is not, I may become very dangerous indeed. Do I have your word, Cecily? That you will kill me, if the time comes?"

Cecily cursed. "I declare, the way everyone here is so eager to die for the greater good is driving me insane. First Jem, now you, and of course Will would sacrifice himself without a second thought. No, Tessa. You have my word that I will most certainly, under no circumstances, kill you. The only way we are going to solve this and win is if everyone works together- if everyone is determined to succeed."

"I am determined," Tessa said. "To save-"

"Jem," Cecily finished. "Meanwhile, Jem is determined to save you."

"What is that supposed to mea-"

The loud slam of the infirmary doors being wrenched open drowned out Tessa's question, and the two girls turned to see Will, eyes wide, standing in the centre of them.

"It's Jem," he said. "He's having an attack- a bad one. The yin fen is gone."

* * *

Tessa pushed her hands down and lifted herself off the bed at once, staggering towards Will in alarm.

"Gone?" she said. "What do you mean, gone?"

Will had the expression of a person who had seen their nightmare come to life. "I mean it's vanished. Not a pinch of it is left. I must get more, but I fear there will be none at the den either and-" he broke off. "I don't think I should leave him."

"I will stay with him," Tessa said at once. "I will go to him. Hurry, Will- he needs it."

Will didn't move. "Magnus is still on his way here- for you."

"Forget about me for a moment!" she cried. "Will, if you don't go, I shall never forgive you."

Will looked at her with tortured eyes. "I…"

"Don't tell me you will refuse to help Jem."

"No- it isn't that. I don't think you should see Jem."

She stepped closer to him, trying to keep her voice steady. "Why not?"

Cecily, too, was closing in on Will, eyebrows drawn tightly together in a grimace.

"Just trust me," he said. "It will do you no good."

Tessa's heart was beating very fast. "How bad is he? Will, tell me the truth, for I _will _see him anyway."

"Tessa-"

"Don't," she said, trying to step past him. Will moved to block her way. "Will, let me see him, he is my-"

"Your what?" Will said bitterly. "Tessa,_ he does not want to see you_."

Tessa stopped, panting, and looked at Will. "Well, that is too bad," she whispered. Before Will could say anything else, Cecily had put her arm around Tessa for her to lean on.

"Will, do whatever it takes to help Jem. If you do not want to leave, then have Gideon and Gabriel go to the ifrit den," she said calmly. "I will take Tessa to Sophie, so she might be tended to. I fear the infirmary is not the best place for Tessa to be right now."

Will looked at Cecily in surprise, then nodded. "Alright."

"Will-" Tessa argued. He placed both his hands on her shoulders for a moment.

"Tessa," he said serenely, "I will do everything I can for Jem. You know I will. Go along, now. If there is news, rest assured, I will let you know."

"It isn't fair," Tessa said, eyes brimming with tears. Cecily shook her head grimly.

"Has it ever been?" she said. "Come on, let's get you to Sophie, now."

Tessa was too exhausted, and too sad, to fight Cecily as she half carried her out of the infirmary, leaving Will gazing regrettably after them for a fraction of a moment before he ran off, the way only a Shadowhunter could, racing against time itself even, for, not only the life of the woman he loved, but for the life of the friend who he owed everything to. And how very fast he did run. Because Will Herondale realised that day that he had been wrong before, when he thought he had lost everything. No, he had three more very important things that he was still holding on to. He had Jem. He had Tessa. He had himself. And he knew that if he lost them, he would truly have nothing.

* * *

"Really, Cecily, I know you mean well," Tessa said pleadingly, "you don't understand- I must see Jem-"

"I know."

"No, you don't!" Tessa was frantic. "Cecily-"

"I don't like it when people tell me I don't understand things," she said mildly. "And if you would stop fussing about, you would realise that I do understand after all."

"What do you mean by that?" Tessa snapped. Cecily sighed, and she lifted her free arm, gesturing at the hall around her.

"If you hadn't noticed, this isn't the way to Sophie's quarters," she said. "I am taking you to Jem."

Tessa opened and closed her mouth, suddenly embarrassed and relieved.

"Thank you," she muttered. "I'm sorry."

"Well, I couldn't exactly tell Will I was going to take you here, could I?" She paused before they reached the door, facing Tessa. "You do know, however, that my brother told you to stay away for a reason. Jem very well might be in quite a state. And it may also well have been his wish that you were to stay away from him."

"I know," Tessa said softly. "That is why I must see him."

Cecily nodded her understanding. "Alright, then. Shall we?" Tentatively, she lifted her hand to the door knob. She fluttered her eyes closed then, inhaling deeply. Then she pushed the door open.

* * *

Tessa felt bile rising in her throat as she looked at Jem- at what the poison was doing to him. He was lying across his bed wearing a loose white tunic and pants that were rolled up so that his ankles were bare, and his chest was thin and heaving from the effort to keep breathing. His clothes, and the white sheets around him, were covered in thick, red blood. Most alarming, though, was the state of his skin. While it had been pale, silvery, even, before, now, it was almost translucent, with dark ringlets and patterns seeming to be traced under his skin like veins. The patterns were all over him, lacing around his ankles, suffocating his chest- they were like a spider's web, spread across Jem's body. Tessa clapped her hand over her mouth to stop herself from crying out in horror, but not before she had let out a low murmur of shock. Jem opened his eyes.

Cecily gasped when he did, unable to keep the impassive look on her face. For Jem's eyes were not only plain black. No, there was a pattern of silver atop of his pupils, like the black patterns across his body, tiny poisonous veins spreading over his eyes.

"Jem," Tessa whispered. Jem turned his head towards her, brow furrowing as he coughed more blood onto his bedsheets.

"Tessa," he said hoarsely. "you should not be here."

That stung. "I want to be here," she insisted. "I wanted to see you."

"I wish I could see you," he choked out. Tessa glanced at Cecily, who was standing back against the doorframe as though she were contemplating turning on her heels and running from the room. She was very pale, and had one hand closed over her mouth in worry.

"What do you mean?" Tessa said gently.

"It would seem," Jem said, "that I have been blinded. All I see now is darkness."

Tessa gasped, shaking her head in sorrow. "Oh, Jem."

"Didn't Will tell you I did not want visitors?" he said, turning away from the direction of her voice.

"Will doesn't know I am here." She glanced behind her, fighting the urge to burst into tears, and tried instead to behave as normally as she possibly could. "Cecily is here too. We came to speak to you."

"Cecily?" Jem's brow furrowed. "What did she tell you, Tessa?"

"Tell me?" Tessa looked to Cecily, bewildered. "What do you mean? About what?"

"I just thought," Cecily said icily, "that she might want to see you, is all. I told her nothing- although I may as well have. She deserves to know."

"Leave me," Jem said. "Cecily, Tessa, please, just go. I am in no state for company."

Suddenly, Cecily let out a half-snort, half-sob, and she turned for the door angrily. "So be it. I won't bother you any further." She set off down the hallway at a brisk pace, finally disappearing behind one of the corners, footsteps echoing down to Jem's room. Tessa just stood where she was, unmoving as she looked at the man she would have married, had circumstances been different.

"Yanluo is inside me," she spoke at last. "I was- am- in a terrible state. At any time, the demon can possess me. She can show me things…terrible things."

"Tessa-"

"And I do it for you," she pressed on."It was only for you that I attempted such a thing in the first place. And I _will_ die for you, if we can find no other way. You owe me for that, Jem. You owe it to me not to send me away when you are weak, when you are like this. You were there for me whenever I needed you. You must allow me to return the favour."

"But I don't need you, Tessa," he said, not unkindly. "I don't need anyone this time."

Tessa looked at him, long and hard for a moment. Then she gave a short, humourless laugh.

"So this is it," she said. "After everything that has happened to us, James, everything- you are to send me away? We were going to be married, Jem. Did that mean anything to you?"

"How can you say that?" Jem exclaimed. "Tessa, if you knew how much it _did_ mean to me…" then he broke off. "But then, I did not know about you and Will when we became engaged."

"I had given him up for you," she whispered.

"It would have made no difference." Jem smiled, eyes closed. "You know, when I first fell in love with you, I dreamed of marrying you. Do you recall when we went to the York Institute- how you posed as my ascending bride?"

"I wore your ring. The Carstairs family ring."

Jem nodded. "The disguise felt so wonderful- it was like living in one of my dreams. I did not want it to end. Even if we were only pretending, I imagined what it would be like if we were to be wed. I thought about our wedding day. But you see, when I imagined all this, I also imagined that you would be happy. Happy to be _my_ bride."

"I would have been happy," silent tears were sliding down her cheeks like droplets of rain on a window. "Anyone would be happy to marry you. You are so good. So kind."

"You would not have been with me," Jem said. "Not really. Part of you would be mourning the loss of my parabatai- part of you would still love him, for feelings do not go away simply because one decides that nothing may come of it. After all, I still love you."

Tessa let out a sob, and went to sit beside Jem on his bed, brushing his hair back from his forehead gently with her fingers.

"I still love you too." Her tears were falling onto his chest. Fumbling in the darkness of his vision, Jem's arms found hers, and he ran them up to her shoulders, resting them there.

"It is a cruel thing indeed," Jem murmured, "that one I love so dearly must be possessed with the one I hate. But Yanluo will leave you alone, if I am to die, and so I would have won, in my death."

"If you die, then I will have lost- we all will have," Tessa said fiercely. "Do not assume that there is anything to gain from your death, Jem. There isn't. Not one thing. Not _one _silver lining."

"Tess-"

"This will work, Jem. We will find a way. Even if we can find no more _yin fen_- why, even if we cannot kill Yanluo, we will find something else to save you."

"There is nothing," Jem said. "Nothing can save me."

"Then we will find a way around it," Tessa said determinedly. "Jem, have you thought about…" she hesitated. "Have you considered the possibility of immortality?"

Jem stiffened. "What do you mean by that?"

"If you were to become a vampire-"  
Jem shook his head at once. "You mean well, Tess, but that is not a possibility for me. I am Nephlim- I could not become a Vampire. It is against my nature."

"You mean because Nephlim are better than Downworlders?" Tessa said, an edge to her tone.

"That is not what I am saying at all. It is just…" he sighed. "I was born a Shadowhunter. Born as a mortal. Born expecting not to live long, such is it like in this business of hunting. To become immortal… forever is an awfully long time, Tessa."

"Perhaps _I_ am immortal," Tessa said suddenly. "There are not many half-demon Shadowhunters that I could look to for confirmation. I have not given much thought to the possibility. I am not sure that I would like to live forever. It would be dreadfully lonely."

"You should not concern yourself based on the mere possibility." He thought for a moment. "You say Yanluo was able to show you your parents' wedding?"

"Yes," Tessa said. "Mortmain was there. I am yet to find out why, but apparently it was he who arranged for Yanluo's brother- the demon- to possess my father…he who arranged for my parents', and their wedding guests, to be killed." She shivered. "I hate it," she said abruptly. "I hate that he was at my mother's wedding, I hate that he had anything to do with me, and I hate that even now he has plans for me and I am completely oblivious as to what. Am I nothing but his puppet?"

"You have fought against him too valiantly for that to be true," Jem consoled her, and then he broke out coughing again, keeling over. Tessa held his head in her hands, trying to sooth him.

"Here I am, complaining about my burdens while you lie here like this," she said guiltily. Jem smiled.

"I will never not want to hear about your troubles or your victories," he said. "I am glad you came, Tessa. I am glad to be speaking to you. I just… I did not want you to have to see me like this. I know I must look a fright."

"You are James Carstairs," Tessa said gently. "How could I ever be frightened by you? Jem, I am only afraid that tomorrow will come and you will not be here."

Jem half-smiled at her. "I will tell you what, then," he said. "Let's you and I make a deal. The both of us will fight our demons all night through so that tomorrow we may speak again."

"You have a deal," Tessa said, letting out a ragged breath. The door creaked then, and she turned around to see Will, pale faced and worn out.

"Tessa?" he said, surprised. A scowl came over his face. "Cecily-"

"It is alright Will," Jem said. "Do not be angry with Cecily. I am thankful that she brought Tessa to me after all."

"I think it is time for you to go now, Tess. Get some rest," Will said, not taking his eyes off Jem. Tessa might have argued, but the pain in Will's eyes when he looked at his parabatai was so personal and terrible, she scrambled to her feet at once. When she reached the door, she returned to Jem, and, although she knew he could not see her, she raised her hand to wave.

"Tomorrow, Jem," she reminded him. She nodded to Will on her way out.

* * *

As soon as Tessa was gone, Will rushed to Jem's side, lowering his head back onto his pillow.

"I thought you did not want to see her," Will said. "You shouldn't have. James, you must rest. Anything that may distress you-"

"I am alright, Will," Jem said calmly. "Not stressed at all. I was only worried about Tessa, but she was not afraid of me."

"Of course she wasn't," Will said. He hesitated. "How did she react?"

"To what?"

"Do not pretend to be oblivious, James. How did she react to finding out about the choice Mortmain gave you?"

Jem was silent, and Will gasped at him.

"You mean to say you didn't tell her?"

"Will, I never intended to tell anyone- not even you," Jem said. "Had you not found the note, I wouldn't have said anything." Indeed, Jem was put out that, shortly after having told Cecily of his position, Will too had found the note and demanded an explanation. Of course, Jem had lied, brushed it off- but Will pieced things together quickly enough.

"James," Will began, but Jem shook his head.

"Will, we have been through this a million times. I am to die. We have both known it since we met. It would do Tessa no good to believe it was accelerated because of the choice Mortmain gave me. It was my decision, and mine alone."

"Then she does not know why you ended your engagement," Will said. "James, she should know what you are doing for her, why you really did it-"

"Tessa knows I love her," Jem said calmly. "Besides, it is for the best. I realised today that I could not have married her anyway."

"Why not?"

"Will, I wouldn't do that to you," he said, as though it should be obvious. "And it would do me no good to marry her when she loved you, too."

"She would forget about me," Will said. "In time, she would forget."

"In time," Jem repeated. "The one thing I have never had on my side." He shifted where he lay, tilting his head. "You know, I was so absorbed in everything- in Tessa being taken away from me- that I didn't realise all that_ you_ had done for me. Will... you were going to be our best man."

"Of course I was. You-" Will broke off and looked away from Jem, only to realise that his parabatai could not see the pain on his face anyway. "You are the best and the worst thing to have happened to my life. I am so glad that I met you," he said hoarsely.

"And you are the best friend I have ever had," Jem said simply. He was barely breathing, chest only rising and falling very shallowly now. Suddenly, he leaned over the bed, and, taking his cue, Will grabbed a bucket from beside him and held Jem's back as he vomited up a disturbing quantity of blood. When he had finished, Jem just sat still, trying to breath steadily again. Will stared at him then, his blinded, poisoned, broken friend- and, rather suddenly, a husky sob escaped his chest as his whole body began to tremble in the fear that had come over him.

"I'm not ready for this," Will said, voice cracking. "I'm not ready to be alone, James. Don't you dare leave me alone. Don't you…" he shook his head, unable to say another word.

"Save your tears for one less foolish than me," Jem said with an attempted smile. His lip quivered. "Will, I am not ready to die, either."

"Then don't," Will said fiercely. "Come on, Carstairs, work with me- please. Wait for Magnus; he will come-"

"And then? Even if he succeeds in forcing Yanluo out of Tessa, how do you plan on killing a full sized Greater Demon? I saw Yanluo, Will- I saw her true face. She cannot be beaten. It is a suicide mission."

Will shook his head frantically. "We have to save her," he muttered. "We have to save Tessa- it's my fault if…"

"Hush," Jem said gently. "Tessa will be alright. She is strong. Why, I imagine she is giving Yanluo hell, don't you? I suppose she is asking her non-stop ridiculous questions- or maybe even recommending literature to Her. It is enough to give even a Greater Demon a headache."

Will grinned, unable to help himself. "Of course she is. That's our Tessa."

"Between the two of us, nothing will befall her."

"For that, we must ensure that there _are_ two of us around," Will said. Jem sighed, and nodded.

"I may have accepted the fact that I am going to die," Jem said. "That does not mean I will not help you to free Tessa from that creature with every last ounce of strength I have."

Will's eyes tightened. Wordlessly, he fumbled pockets and emerged with a small flask. He pressed it into Jem's hand.

"What is it?"

"Tisane," Will said. "I know, it will not do much- but traditionally it is supposed to reboost one's energy; their life force, if you will."

Jem shrugged, bringing it to his lips. "It will do no harm to try." He took a long sip, shuddering at the taste. "You know, Will, you needn't stay with me. I'm sure you must want to speak to Charlotte about your parents- and you and Cecily surely have much to speak about."

"I do, and we do," Will said. "All the same, I am not leaving."

Jem's face, white and covered in dark patterns as it was, seemed to brighten, just a little.

"I was hoping you might say that."

* * *

It was pitch black in Tessa's room- for she had returned to it after visiting Jem, too drained to make it back to the infirmary. She had managed to sleep for a few hours- or minutes, she could not be sure- before the violent heat in her head became too much, and her eyes snapped open. Groaning from the mental strain that Yanluo was putting against her, she reached for the candle at her bedside, and the matches that lay beside it. Before she could reach them, however, someone else lit the wick, and then proceeded to turn on the oil lamp near the doorframe, casting a glow about the whole room. Tessa squinted, braced for danger, when she realised who it was, and relaxed.

"Sophie," she said, relieved. "I am glad it is you."

"Miss," Sophie said, inclining her head. Gingerly, she approached the bed. "I did not know you were awake."

"I slept for a moment. It is Yanluo- trying to hold her off is draining me. The worst part is, I can tell she is not really trying. She finds it amusing when I try to fight back." She shuddered.

"Is it very painful?"

"Nothing I cannot handle." Tessa yawned. "I just hope Magnus arrives soon. I do hope he is coming. Will seems adamant that he will, but-"

"But no one can predict that Warlock's actions," Sophie finished. "I should know- I was here while Miss Charlotte was asking Magnus Bane for help finding you. Half the time he behaved as if he had no interest in helping at all."

"It seems that he is Will's friend, though," Tessa said thoughtfully. "Surely if Will explained that this could be the only way to help Jem, he would understand how important this is."

"Friendship will only go so far with a Warlock," she said grimly. "Most of 'em do things for pay- money, rare objects, favour with powerful people."

"Let us hope that Magnus is different."

"Hope, wish, pray- there is too much uncertainty in this business," Sophie said uncomfortably. "I don't care for it. What with Jem being ill- and now I hear from Gideon that the yin fen is gone, and all the while Yanluo is here, in the Institute, in _you._ That, and everything that you've been told about who you are, about Mr Mortmain…and meanwhile it's been all too quiet from the Automatons and the Magister since your escape."

"It feels so cruel," Tessa said, "that all of this should be happening at once. Yet I am sure Mortmain will have something else planned. We must be rid of all this before that happens."

"I fear you are right, Miss," Sophie said. "Mortmain is, among other things, a successful businessman, after all. One does not become a successful businessman in London by having one good plan, but by having many, intricate ones, and knowing when to execute them."

"That is true," Tessa shook her head. "Oh, Sophie- the day I've had."

"Indeed." Sophie paused for a moment. "It cannot be easy for Jem."

"Which part?" Tessa said bitterly.

"That's true," Sophie surveyed her. "I heard about your engagement being called off."

Tessa frowned. "Who-"

"I overheard Mr Carstairs telling Miss Herondale earlier," Sophie said by way of explanation.

"Jem told Cecily?" Tessa said, although she did not mind all too much. Guilt came over her as she remembered the promise she had made to Sophie about Jem. "Sophie, you must know that it was he who called the engagement off."

"Because he found out about whatever it is that is going on between you and Mr Herondale, I presume?"

"It was not," she said, "because of what was going on between myself and Will. It was complicated. But I still love him very much, and I never intended to hurt him. You must believe me."

"I do, Miss," Sophie said. "In any case, it is no business of mine. No, what I meant to say before was, it must be difficult for him to have the demon that murdered his mother and father, so very close to him."

Tessa bit her lip and was silent for a moment. "I admit, I too had given it some thought. And Yanluo is so…terrible, truly, her evil…the things she has done…"

"She is a demon," Sophie nodded. "The most dangerous demon anyone here has ever encountered, including all the Shadowhunters- even Mrs or Mr Branwell. It will be impossible to kill in it's true form- and impossible to track. I have researched Yanluo enough to know- I was in the library all afternoon."

"Sophie," Tessa said, "I did not realise how much effort you have gone to in order to find a way to help."

"These people are my family," Sophie said gruffly. "I was not going to remain idle."

"We will find a way to defeat Yanluo," Tessa said confidently. "We will figure something out."

"But will be figure it out before Jem…" Sophie trailed off, shaking her head. She stepped closer to Tessa, a grievous expression on her face. "You've been right good to me since you got here, Miss. You've been…a friend. After serving Miss Lovelace, it was so surprising to have you to work with. You're a good person, Miss. And it makes me sick that all this bad is happening to you, it really does. I'm truly sorry."

"Sophie," Tessa said, "it's alright. And I appreciate your friendship, too. You know, you _can _call me Tessa. I would be grateful if you did. Are we not close enough for that?"

Sophie sucked in her breath, a curious expression on her face.

"You don't have to, of course," Tessa added quickly. Sophie smiled, a very sad smile.

"You understand, I hold no quarrel with you for Jem. I hold no quarrel with you for anything. And I wish things were different. But there is no alternative," she was speaking very quickly, very nervously. Tessa furrowed her brow.

"Sophie, are you alright?" She glanced to the candle, flickering beside her, and found a question on her tongue. "I thought you said you thought I was asleep."

"I did," Sophie said, taken aback.

"Then," Tessa looked at Sophie, "why did you turn on the lights?"

Sophie looked apologetically at Tessa, and for a moment, the way that the light covered the smooth side of her face in favour of the scarred one was truly frightening.

"Because," she pulled a small dagger from her apron, "it is harder to aim when the lights are out."

Tessa gasped upon seeing the dagger, scrambling backwards in her bed.

"Sophie," she said, "Sophie, what are you doing?"

"Don't make this harder than it is," Sophie said desperately. "I don't want to do this. Don't you understand? You were the first real friend I ever had. But this _is_ the only way to save Jem, you said it yourself before." Tessa tried to launch herself to her feet, but Sophie threw her back against the wall, and, within seconds, had her knife held horizontally across her neck. "Good bye…Tessa."


	30. Chapter 29: Desperate Times

**Hi guys! Sorry it's been a while. So, I think this will be the second-last chapter, and if you want, I'll do a prologue as well (tell me in a review if you'd like a prologue or not :P). March 19 is crazily close (I'm sooo excited/terrified!), so I'll try to finish this up asap. I really hope you guys like this chapter ****. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited or followed recently!**

Monica: **by the Angel, I know! 'father is a worm' hahaha! Aw, and Jessa, and Wessa, and and and asdfghjkl I **_**need**_** that book right now. I doubt you'll have to compare CP2 to my version though :P **

Jen: **hey! Oh, it's perfectly fine **** thank you for reviewing at all! And don't thank me for the chocolate, thank Will ;) haha**

Tracy sandler: **haha thank you! Sorry to have kept you waiting- that was not the nicest cliffhanger, was it? :P **

LSPARMY: **Was that a rhetorical question, or…? :P thanks for reviewing! I hope you like this chapter- hopefully it's not as crey-worthy **

Alice: **Thank you! Well, I'll probably only put up another 2 chapters max. after this one- I want to finish before Clockwork Princess is released. I'm working on writing the next chapter as of now, so it shouldn't take too long, either **

Shadow Kissed: **yay, cliffhangers! I know what you mean about them- that one Cassie put at the end of Clockwork Prince has been killing me for ages :P. Thanks for reviewing, & I hope you like the chapter.**

Ronni: **haha, aww, stahp it :P thanks so much! Sadly, this chapter has less Wessa and more oh-dear-Tessa's-dying-too-now. There's some Sideon though! Well, when I say Sideon I mean they hit a rough patch… *guilty coughs***

**Desperate Times**

Tessa's eyes were open as Sophie dove forward, pressing the knife into the flesh on her neck even as she choked in surprise, realising all too late that this was it; that this was the way it was all going to end, after all she had been through, everything she had fought for. Realising all too late that Sophie had finally called her Tessa- and that she would never be able to thank her for it. Inside her, she could feel Yanluo screaming, clawing at her mind, trying to gain control so that she might stop Sophie, but Tessa held her back with all her might, a curious sense of peace coming over her.

_This is for you, James Carstairs. _

She closed her eyes to the world around her, waiting; for silence, for brightness, or for the dark- she would find out soon enough.

And then everything got very loud.

* * *

Suddenly, the room was glowing with witchlight, and Tessa blinked into the fierce shine in time to see someone pull Sophie away from her, the knife dropping to the ground and trapping her with his arms. _Will? _She thought in a haze, taking in the tall frame and dark hair of the figure, but then she caught his eyes.

"Gabriel?" Tessa said incredulously, staring at him. Gabriel, one hand clapped across Sophie's mouth as she struggled in his grip, glanced at her for a moment, green eyes meeting brown ones.

"Gideon!" He called out, not taking his eyes off her, "Mrs Branwell! Anybody! Some assistance please!" He rose his voice. "Help!"

Tessa shook her head, dazed. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw the light on," he said shortly. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm…" Tessa trailed off, reaching her hands to her neck. Apart from a shallow cut, the knife had done her no damage. She looked at Sophie then. She had stopped fighting Gabriel, and was just looking at Tessa with wide, sorry eyes.

"She was trying to kill you," Gabriel told her, mistaking her silence for oblivion. "Perhaps you were asleep at the time." He glanced back at the door impatiently.

"You can let go of her," Tessa said. "Please."

"Let go of her?" Gabriel looked at her as though she were perfectly insane.

"-what is the meaning of this?" It was Gideon, hurrying through the open door of Tessa's room and taking in the scene; Tessa, startled in her bed, and his brother, arms forming a cage around Sophie. "Gabriel, what are you doing to Miss Collins?" Warily, he drew a seraph blade from his belt.

"Mortmain, is it? I should have known you would not just-"

"Gideon," Gabriel said, "If I had arrived here a moment later than I did, Miss Collins would have slit Miss Gray's throat. I saw her at it."

Gideon scoffed, glaring at his brother. "I cannot believe this," he muttered. "Unhand her, Gabriel."

"I am not making this up," Gabriel snapped. "You are blinded by your feelings, brother. But look- look at the knife." He gestured to the ground where it had fallen, and Gideon glanced to it, brow furrowed. He did not lower his blade.

"Let her go," he said, voice deadly quiet. Gabriel looked imploringly at his brother for a moment, but eventually he did, moving to stand by the door with his arms crossed over his chest, should Sophie try to run. But the poor girl did not even attempt to move. She merely stood there, limp, staring at the knife on the floor- for she would rather die than look at Gideon.

"Miss Gray," Gideon said, "I must ask you what truly happened; do not be afraid of my brother. He will not be able to hurt you or Sophie again."

"I didn't do _anything _to her!" Gabriel cried. "Even after I admitted I was wrong- why won't you believe me?"

"Because _you _have a habit of not believing _me_," Gideon said. "I suppose the mistrust is mutual."

Tessa hesitated, looking from Gabriel to Sophie. Sophie would not meet her eyes, while Gabriel, on the other hand, seemed to be begging her to clear his name- to tell his brother that he was wrong.

"You should not speak to your brother so," Sophie said, finally breaking the silence that had fallen across the room. "For he speaks the truth. He did nothing to hurt Miss Gray. And the knife is not his."

Gideon lowered his weapon then, storing it back in his belt. He stepped forward, placing his hands over Sophie's.

"Whose knife is it, Sophie? You must tell me, so we might find the traitor."

Sophie let out a dry sob, shaking her head. Gideon glanced at Tessa, perplexed.

"Miss Gray?" She just shook her head, too, looking on at Sophie's despair with a hollow heart.

"The knife is mine," Sophie whispered, spitting out every word as though it were poison. "I tried to kill Miss Tessa."

Gideon just looked at her patiently. "Sophie, you don't have to be afraid. Tell me the truth. Whoever is threatening you, I will find them. I will not let them hurt you."

Sophie started to speak, but then closed her eyes tightly. "I am not going to tell you again."

"What-"

"She's telling you the truth, Gideon," Tessa said gently. "She came into my room to kill me today."

Tessa was glad, then, in that moment that Gideon realised the truth, that Sophie was closing her eyes. For the lost hope- faith- the _dream_ that seemed to shatter in his expression then, was not something that anyone should ever have to see on the faces of the ones they love.

"Gabriel," he said, voice steady and sure. "Fetch Charlotte and Henry. And William and James if you can. Tell them what has transpired. Get them in here quickly."

Gabriel nodded, moving to leave, just as Gideon added: "and take Miss Collins with you. Make sure she does nothing to hurt anybody else. Tie her up if you must."

Sophie gasped a little, letting out a shaking breath. Even Gabriel looked almost apologetic as he held her wrists behind her back and led her out of the room. Tessa stared after them, stunned. Everything that had just occurred had happened so very quickly, it was rather difficult to process. Gideon, meanwhile, seemed to be in a world of his own, staring into space with a hard look about his person.

* * *

"Why did she do it, Tessa?" Gideon said, not looking at her. "Why would she hurt you? I always thought Sophie to be kind- certainly to her friends. She is not working for Mortmain, is she?"

"Mortmain does not want me dead," Tessa said. "Do not judge her so. She was right to try to kill me. She should have succeeded."

"And why is that? How is it justifiable to try to kill one's friend?"

"You know why. You know of the demon that is possessing me- you all do. You know the choice it gave Will."

Gideon's hands tightened at his sides. "We had a plan. Will's friend- the Warlock, he was coming."

"And he may not be able to do anything," Tessa said. "Sophie was being rational. She was trying to save Jem."

"Why would she care so much?" Gideon asked abruptly. "I do not mean to say that James isn't a respectable man- or indeed, one that any Shadowhunter here would not die for- but I don't understand how Sophie deemed his life so important that she would take yours to save his."

Tessa looked determinedly away from him, mind flashing back to the days in which Sophie would blush and stammer at a smile from Jem. It did not matter, though; it was as though Gideon could see it in her eyes. He drew in a slow breath, anger and confusion and hurt making his jaw set.

"I see," Gideon said emptily. "One will do reckless things when one is in love."

"Gideon, I don't think-" Tessa began, but Gideon waved a hand, silencing her.

"I admire your efforts to defend Sophie, Tessa, even after what she has just done to you. But I would kindly ask for you not to say anything on this matter. I think I understand everything quite clearly."

"With all due respect, I don't think you do understand. You have it wrong."

"This conversation is closed," Gideon said abruptly, and for Sophie's sake, Tessa would have kept speaking- but she and Gideon had not spoken so much before, and he had a stony look about him that made her do as he asked, allowing the room to fall silent once more, until the rest of the Institute arrived. And everything became far too noisy.

* * *

"Can't believe she would do something like that- it's so unlike her!"

"Good job Gabriel was there."

"-Magnus isn't even here yet."

"Tessa could have died-"

"That's_ not_ going to happen."

"Will, I didn't mean-"

Everyone raged on around her, each flustered, each adamantly arguing their own point. Charlotte, Henry, Gideon, Cecily- even Will. Tessa buried her face in her hands, trying to block out their voices. She had a terrible, sharp pain in her head, and she could almost hear Yanluo's own shouts of abuse. She shivered; if she weakened and let the demon through, and they returned to that odd place inside her mind, she knew Yanluo would be a lot less civil to her than she had been.

"Don't," Cecily said, holding Will away from Tessa at arm's length, giving him a stern look, and Tessa realised Will must have said something to her.

"You didn't call out," he said accusingly. "You didn't even _try _to stop her. Didn't run."

"She was in shock," Henry said in protest. "Will, you shouldn't-"

"Tessa isn't like that!" Will snapped. "She knew what was going on, and she _chose_ not to do anything about it. She thinks Sophie is right. She meant to die." He turned on her. "Didn't you?"

"It is all well and good," she said quietly, all eyes fixed on her, "to call for Magnus and hope that he has a magical solution for this. But we do not know that he can help us- or indeed if he is willing to- and I cannot hold Yanluo off forever. She is strong, and she will overcome me, and then she will be perfectly able to wreak whatever havoc she pleases upon all of you. I cannot have her hurt anyone using my body- nor can I let Jem die. It is the only way to save him."

"That's ridiculous!" Henry cried, while Charlotte shook her head, and Cecily started yelling at Will, and Gideon started trying to calm everyone down-

And then Tessa felt a pain so sharp, and so strangely glorious, that she screamed out loud, her back arching, nails digging into the bed.

"Tessa?" Will said, alarm in his voice. She could still hear the others, each of them shouting so loudly in hurt her ears.

"_Shut up," _she shrieked. "All of you, just stop_ screaming_!"

They didn't listen; the shouting got louder, worse, blarring into her ears until it became a constant screech, like breaking glass.

"_I said stop it." _

"No one's shouting, Tessa. What is it- what's happening?"

"Stop." She shook her head, scrunching her eyes shut. The noise wouldn't cease- it wouldn't even falter. Her head was spinning, burning, and she thought that if fire had a sound, it would sound like this- this deafening, crackling screaming.

She only wished that they would all just be quiet for a moment. She didn't know that it was all in her head. She didn't know that the Shadowhunters, instead, were crowded around her, were completely silent as they watched her, horrified and perplexed as she screamed at them about this noise that didn't exist. She didn't see them gasp when she opened her eyes- for if she were in her usual state of mind, she would have gasped, too. Tessa Gray's eyes, you see, were beginning to be swallowed up by a colour dark black.

* * *

Magnus peered down at the blazing seraph blade pressed to his chest and sighed in exasperation.

"A simple 'thank you' would probably be more useful at this point in time, William. Polite, you know."

Will yanked the blade away savagely, gritting his teeth.

"You actually want me to _thank_ you?"

"I came, didn't I?" Magnus glared at Will. "I shouldn't have come. I wasn't going to, either. I am going to have to do something about this pesky conscience of mine- it does me no favours."

"You came_ late_," Will said.

"One more complaint," Magnus responded with equal coldness, "and I walk away, Shadowhunter."

"Shadowhunter?" Will snorted, distracted for a moment. "Is that what it's going to be like now?"

"We are not friends, Will," Magnus said. "You realise that, don't you? You don't have friends."

Will flinched, but he said nothing of it. "Yanluo has done something to Tessa. She can't hear us- not really- and her eyes… her eyes are turning black."

Magnus could have commented on how he had warned Will off any plan involving the demon, but his conscience prevented him once more. Instead, he asked plainly:

"What exactly do you want me to do about it?"

"Help her." Will was very pale. "Just… do what you can. Anything you can."

"Specific," Magnus said sarcastically, but he wasted no further time. "Where is she?"

"In her chambers. I shall show you-"

"Why am I unsurprised that you should be well aware of the whereabouts of her chambers?" Magnus muttered under his breath. Will ignored it, leading the warlock briskly down the hall and up the turning staircase, to the next long hall where Charlotte and Cecily stood outside Tessa's room (Gideon, Gabriel and Henry had been charged with the responsibility of keeping sight of Sophie, while Cyril had been trusted with checking up on Jem).

"She's in there."

Magnus nodded towards Charlotte, and, ignoring Cecily, proceeded to walk straight into Tessa's room. He surveyed her in the manner of a doctor assessing a patient. The girl appeared to be in a somewhat catatonic state. She was lying, very still, and very stiff, across her bed, a horrified expression on her face, eyes wide open. Eyes, true to Will's word, that seemed to be spreading black at an alarming rate. Will thought of Jem, in the other room, and he fought the instinct to race over there at that very instant to check on him. He stayed firmly put, though, knowing that it would do no one any good for him to see how far deteriorated his parabatai was. He didn't need to see it, either- his parabatai rune was bleeding, and he felt drained, as though his blood was slowly being taken from his body.

* * *

Magnus cursed under his breath, leaning over Tessa and snapping his fingers in front of her eyes, muttering something very quickly in a language Will didn't recognise. When he turned back to Will, he was scowling.

"What else did you do?"

"What?" Will said, surprised.

"What else did you do? It isn't just Yanluo… there's something else. Some other sort of power- I haven't encountered anything akin to it before. In your bloody angel's name, William-"

"There_ is_ nothing else," Will said, confused. "Like I said in the letter, she Changed into Yanluo, and could not change back. Why, what else is there? Is it hurting her?"

"How should I know!" Magnus said. "All I can tell you is there is no reaching Tessa now. She is in another state of consciousness- inside her head- something is happening there, and only she has the ability to awaken again. Beyond that…" Magnus hesitated. "There is so much power in her. I cannot say why, but it is not Yanluo- it is different. It is dangerous. It is too much power, and it is all active- like some kind of explosive ready to go off."

"Where could it be coming from?"

Magnus shook his head. "It is…curious. What Tessa is." He glanced at Will. "I don't suppose you are any closer to figuring that out?"

"She said she was told that her mother was a Shadowhunter, and her father was a Demon," Will said. "But that is impossible. I believe she was lied to."

"Not impossible," Magnus said mildly. "Just a tad unlikely. But I think you may have a point." He furrowed his brow. "Jessamine Lovelace was the first one to tell her that, correct?" Will nodded. "The likelihood that she would even have the truth in her mind is next to nothing. The Magister has worked to 'create' Tessa for so long- he would never tell the likes of Nathaniel Gray, lest he might tell others. If you have a powerful weapon in your hands, the key is to make others believe in it's power- while at the same time, never revealing the full extent of it. It keeps people frightened enough to respect you; to do as you ask, but it does not attract the controversies and consequences that it would if you were to let the whole world know the truth."

"Tessa is not a weapon," Will said.

"She is," Magnus said grimly. "And a dangerous one at that."

* * *

Tessa had never felt anything like it before. The heat, the cold, the pain- the blaring sound in her ears never ceasing. _Mine, _a terrible voice was saying. _She is mine. She is ours. _ Somewhere further away, she could hear other voices, too- more reassuring ones. Voices telling her that she would be alright; but she was too far away to know who was speaking. Flashes of light and dark consumed her, each one seeming to pull her in, and through each the picture of her clockwork angel was vivid in her mind's eye. Blindly, she scrambled for it, wanting to feel the reassuring ticking of the clockwork against her chest- but her heart was beating so quickly that it overwhelmed the sound of her angel.

_You must wear it. Wear it always. _Nate's voice, strained and weak as he lay dying, echoing in her ears along with the chorus of sound and the beating of her heart. A horrible fear made her breathes ragged, and she tried to open her eyes- tried to _see_, but she could not.

_Is this dying? _She wondered. _Or perhaps I am dead already? _When she had thought she was dying before, she had imagined silence. A sense of peace; emptiness. But maybe this was it. This pain and noise and fear.

But where was her angel? Surely even in death, it would still be with her.

_Wear it always. _But why would Nate say such a thing? And why should she take heed to it, anyway? After all, he had killed Aunt Harriet.

_Something to protect her. _The soft voice of a begging woman rose above the racket in her head, saying words Tessa had never heard before. _Something to keep her safe. It doesn't have to be like this. She is more mine than his. More ours than theirs. _

It was the voice of her mother, she thought with a start. The same voice as the woman Yanluo had shown her. She wondered if this was Yanluo now, making her hear these things.

_Give her a chance. _

_Give her the clockwork angel. _

**Sorry if it got confusing in that last section- the idea is that Tessa is in a bit of an unstable mental/phsyical state, which is pretty hard to capture from a 1****st**** person perspective. Next chapter it will all be explained. **


	31. Chapter 30: Desperate Measures

**Hi guys, so it is on the verge of midnight here and I just finished the chapter! Sorry, it's probably really bad quality (cut me some slack, I'm really sleepy :P), but I wanted to get it done as quickly as possible. This is the last actual chapter, but I'll put up a prologue at some point. Really sorry, I don't have time to reply to anyone today- although thank you so much to the people who reviewed, favourited or followed: it never ceases to amaze me ****. **

**I really hope you like how I dealt with this- although it's never gonna be as good as Cassie's :P (CLOCKWORK PRINCESS IS OUT NOW AND I JUST AAAAAAHHH). It gets a little confusing towards the end, so when I post the prologue I'll have an A/N at the beginning to clarify everything that happened this chapter. **

**Okay, enough of me rambling…here it is!**

CHAPTER 30

DESPERATE MEASURES

Sophie stood behind him, mouth half-agape with the ache of words that she wanted to say, but could not, feeling as useless as she ever had.

Gideon had his back to her, and was staring at a fixed point in one of the plain wooden walls that surrounded them in this room that had no windows and only one door. Gabriel was standing outside, ensuring that Sophie did not escape through it. For years she had lived and served here, a loyal servant to the Institute- to the Branwells. Now, she was treated with the kindness of any imposter, locked away and guarded the way a dangerous being might be- a Downworlder, or another Shadowhunte, perhaps. But she was just a servant girl with the Sight.

Sophie closed her eyes, processing with a sense of self disgust what she had planned to do. It was not as if she came at Miss Tessa madly with a knife- she had not wanted to hurt her, let alone kill her- but she had thought it was the only thing that was left for anybody to do. She thought it was what had to be done, but what nobody else had the courage to do.

She had only wanted to be brave- to be like one of them, the Nephlim- the stronger race. She had thought she was being brave when she went to Miss Tessa's room with that dagger- selfless, even. But now Mr Herondale despised her, and Mr and Mrs Branwell were appalled, and Cyril wouldn't speak to her, and if Master Jem ever woke, the_ look_ he would give her…

But worst was Gideon.

Whenever he had looked at her before, she had been surprised by what she saw in his eyes. She had seen respect. She had seen acknowledgement. She had seen concern, and pride, and admiration, even, and she had found herself feeling pleased whenever she would look at him and see that she had exceeded his expectations, somehow. But he wouldn't look at her now. He hadn't, ever since she told him the truth of what she had tried to do. Somehow, that was worse. Worse than_ seeing_ his horror, or disgust, or disappointment. Now she was left to imagine it.

"I know…" she said quietly, nervous to be speaking out of turn, "I know you think awfully of me. Won't you… Sir, won't you just say so? Won't you just hand down my punishment?"

"It is not for me to decide," Gideon said, back still to her. "I expect Charlotte will decide what your fate shall be- for you are primarily her servant. You were never mine."

"I am a servant of the Institute. Of the Nephlim who live here. That makes me your servant as well. You could dismiss me- if you wanted to."

"That is not what I meant."

"What did you mean, then?" Sophie hated that her voice trembled; it felt weak, and she hated feeling weak. Of all the sentiments in the world that there were, weakness was the worst.

"You were never mine," Gideon repeated. "And yet I tried- continually, I tried- to convince you that you could be." He shook his head. "I was a fool. You have made a fool out of me."

_Don't you make a fool out of me, now. _Her old Master had said that to her; said it right before he gave her the scars that crossed her face. Sophie shivered, stepping backwards from him.

"If it had been you dying," he went on, "I might have been tempted to do something rash to save you, you know. I would have done whatever it took to save you- to prove to you that I would. All this time I have been trying to prove that to you- that I am _worthy _of you. Me- a Lightwood, a Shadowhunter, worthy of _you_."

She flinched, too familiar with the derogatory words, in spite of their truth. She knew that she wasn't a Shadowhunter. She knew that meant she wasn't as good. Somehow, knowing it was true did not stop it from hurting her when he said it- probably _because_ he said it.

"You're not going to say anything," he said. "Because you're a servant, am I not mistaken? Because you feel the need to submit to everything that we tell you to do because _we're better than you_- because we're _Shadowhunters_." He spun around. "Do you realise how little _sense_ that makes, Sophie?" His eyes were wide, his cheeks flushed red with anger, and he advanced upon her. "You told me you wanted to be a Shadowhunter once. Was that just because you wanted to be with Jem?"

Sophie inhaled sharply, and Gideon grinned at her without any trace of real happiness, let alone amusement.

"James Carstairs," he said. "That's who it's all for, isn't it? And if you'd killed Tessa, who else would he have but you? _You were toying with me. _Your whole innocent act- but you never objected to being in a relationship with a Shadowhunter, did you? You already were in one- an affair, I assume. No, you objected to _me_, and you were too _afraid _to say it." Suddenly, he was gripping her upper arms with crushing force, nails digging into her skin, and he shook her hard. "Afraid of me? You, afraid of _me_? Look at us now! Look who has hurt who! You are the one of us who should be feared, Sophie- you would have killed your friend and lied to me- don't you know that_ I_ would never hurt you?"

"You're hurting me _now_," she said frantically, trying to catch his eyes- but they were too mad and far gone for her to see anything of the Gideon she knew in them. "Gideon-"

"Don't," he snapped. "I am sick of the fear in your eyes. It's always been there. You look at me like I'm a monster. _But I am not your old Master_. I am not going to hurt you, no matter what you say, or how you hurt me, or what you do. Don't you _understand_?" He threw her hard against the wall then, and her back hit the wall with a loud thump. Sophie cried out, more in shock than pain, sinking to her knees.

"You won't hurt me," she said, trying to hide the panic in her voice. "It's not in you, Sir- you've got a good heart- I know you do. Gideon, please."

For a moment both of them were silent. Then Gideon's brow furrowed and his mouth opened wide in horror, recognition coming over him.

"Sophie," he said. "Oh, Angel, I…" he stepped hurriedly towards her, then stopped, hesitating. "Do you require bandages? Anything? I… I'll send in somebody else-"

"I am not hurt," she said, shaking her head. Gideon drew in a ragged breath, body trembling, and he sunk to his knees before her.

"I'm so sorry, Sophie," he whispered. "God, I…I'm so sorry. I didn't want to be like _him._ The man who hurt you before."

"You are not like him, Sir," she said, and Gideon let out a harsh laugh.

"Sophie, I laid my hands on you," he said, voice full of self-loathing.

"You stopped." She raised the her arms, examining them critically. "You left no marks, no bruises."

"You should have broken both my arms," he said dully. "I taught you how to. I know you knew what to do. You should have done it."

"I didn't have to," she said.

"I'm sorry, Sophie," he said again. "I was so…I meant nothing of what I just said, and it was completely inappropriate of me to speak at all. I apologise also for calling you by your first name- I have no wish to make you feel uncomfortable, Miss Collins." He cleared his throat. "Whatever you do… whoever you truly care for…" he shook his head. "James Carstairs is a lucky man indeed. And today I have proven to us both that I could never be to you what he could be- for he would never treat you that way."

"He would never treat me any way," Sophie said. "Gideon, there was never anything… Master Jem has no relationship with me."

"But you love him."

"No," she said firmly. "I used to admire him- if you must know- but it was never… it never meant anything." Despite everything, she found herself blushing.

"Don't," Gideon said firmly, but gently- so careful to maintain a calm composure. "You need not justify yourself to me. And given everything that has befallen you, I understand why you would be reluctant to state outright that you were uninterested in me. A thousand pardons, Miss."

"With all due respect, I must tell you that you are mistaken," she said quietly. "I was never _uninterested_. I was… conflicted. Frightened. I was not brave." She set her jaw tightly. "I try to be brave, where I can- yet only now I realise how much I cowered away from the happiness I might have…"

"What are you saying?" Gideon asked, gazing at her imploringly. He wanted to reach out and push back a lock of loose hair that brushed her cheek, but he dared not touch her again.

"It hardly matters at the present," Sophie sighed, blinking determinedly away from him. "After what I just did-"

"It always matters," Gideon said decidedly. "If it is to do with you, it matters."

Sophie laughed softly. "You are too kind."

"You are too modest," he said. "Miss."

"I wish you wouldn't call me that."

"What would you prefer?" although he had made no conscious effort to move towards her, suddenly, she was very close.

"Call me Sophie," she said. "You always have. Everybody does."

"And if I respect you too much to comply?" his eyes shone.

She shook her head. "After all I have done, how can you respect me?"

"I respect the choice you made. Miss Gray certainly does. I do not think that you are a bad person, Sophie. I think you made a difficult decision- for I saw the pain in your face before, as I do now."

"It wasn't for Jem," she said hollowly. "I…I want you to know that. It wasn't because I care for him, or anything of the sort. I meant what I said…there was never anything there. I thought it was the only way to protect all of us. They are my family."

"And you would do anything to protect them," he said. "So will I. You have my word. We will find another way."

Sophie closed her eyes. "I cannot face them again. I cannot face _you_."

"You have done nothing wrong. Listen to me. You did as any Shadowhunter would have done."

"I am not a Shadowhunter."

"No." Gideon paused for a moment, a fierce look in his eyes. "You are better."

Sophie opened her eyes and just stared at him then, realising what he was telling her- realising, but not really registering- for it was too much, too great, and he couldn't possibly believe it-

And then a great, wailing screech erupted in the air around them, so terrible that Sophie let out a shriek of shock, and Gideon gathered her to his side and drew his seraph blade, shielding them both.

"I don't believe it," Sophie whimpered, a sense of dread growing in her chest- for it was the enchantment set up by Magnus Bane that was alerting them now, screaming loud for all to hear. An enchantment to detect intruders. And they were here now.

Gabriel cursed as a metal force crushed hard against his torso, tearing through his loose training gear and slicing his skin. Twisting and struggling, he managed to reach his seraph blade and, naming it in a single breath, hacked at the automatons' arm, only to widen his eyes in disbelief as he took in the marching units of metal descending down the corridor at a rather luxurious pace.

"Gideon!" he shouted at once, hammering on the door behind him. "Gideon, by the Angel, they're-"

"Gabriel!" it was Will's sister, darting between two Automatons, out of breath, hair spread freely across her shoulders.

"Cecily, get out of here," Gabriel said at once. Cecily being Cecily acted as if he hadn't said a thing.

"They just appeared," she said quickly, "and what's bizarre is- they didn't attack me- any of us, until we fought back. They keep saying-"

"_Do not interfere." _The surrounding automatons spoke mechanically and without any trace of sentiment or humanity. "_And we will do you no harm. We have come for Theresa Gray."_

"-that," Cecily finished, edging backwards uncertainly. "Gabriel, what should we do?"

"If we attack them, they will kill us."

"But we can hardly let them take Tessa, can we?" Cecily said frantically. She banged on the door behind Gabriel, and Gideon and Sophie peered at her from behind it, each armed.

"Is it true what you say?" Gideon asked Cecily. "That they are not attacking us?"

"It seems their orders deem otherwise. But they won't let me get to where Tessa is."

"We need to," Sophie said at once. Cecily stepped in front of Sophie, eyes narrowed.

"As if I'm letting you anywhere near Tessa," she said. "Will told me what you tried to do."

"Cecily, now is not the time," Gideon said impatiently. "We're all on the same side here, but we must act now."

"Tessa is in her bedroom. We need to get upstairs," Gabriel said. "Last I heard, Magnus Bane and Will were there."

"Good," Gideon said grimly. "Magnus at least will have slowed them down."

"How can this have happened?" Sophie said, shaking her head. "I thought only a Shadowhunter could open the Institute doors."

"They used blood last time, as Charlotte has told me," Gideon replied. "No doubt they could have collected more than enough Nephlim blood from when Mortmain had Tessa, William, James and Cecily captive."

"It hardly matters how they got in," Cecily said. "You're wasting time. We must try to make our way to Tessa."

As if in response to the word, the automatons surrounding them suddenly turned, their razor-sharp weapons of arms held at the ready before them.

"_Nephlim shall not go to Tessa Gray. The Magister has forbidden it. No Nephlim can pass us._"

"Oh, really?" Cecily started forward angrily, but Gabriel put his hand on her shoulder, stopping her.

"What? You don't really expect me to just-"

"There are too many of them," Gabriel hissed in her ear. "Be sensible, won't you? There is no way we could fight our way through. We can't risk provoking them into action. We are damn near unarmed, for the Angel's sake!"

"Then how-" Cecily began agitatedly, but Gideon interrupted her, speaking very slowly and thoughtfully.

"There is one thing that can be done."

"You're not considering going up alone-" Gabriel said fiercely.

"I'm not," Gideon said. "They were quite clear, Gabriel, did you not notice, when they specified that no Nephlim shall pass them?" he stared hard at his brother before turning his gaze on Sophie. "No _Nephlim_. That is all."

Sophie's eyes widened as she realised what Gideon was saying.

"You think they would not attack me? That I could reach Miss Gray?" she said, speaking in a whisper.

"I think you are the only one among us who could do it," he said, not taking his eyes off hers.

"Are you mad?" Cecily said, outraged. "She just tried to kill Tessa, and you want to send her up there on her own? She'll probably help Mortmain finish the job if he hasn't already-"

Sophie gasped, and Gabriel looked sharply at Cecily, but Gideon was still looking only at Sophie.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do, Sophie," he said quietly. "But you are strong, and as capable of any of us. You should be safe at least until you get to the room. I know once there you will do as much to help Tessa and the others as I would."

"You think I can do it?" Sophie asked, unable to tear her gaze away from Gideon's. It seemed to captivate her, like it was only he and she, alone, rather than surrounded by an army of automatons and two anxious Shadowhunters.

"I know you can."

Slowly, Sophie nodded. A curious sensation came over her- a reassurance settling in over her heart. It was as though, because Gideon believed in her, she felt for certain that she could not fail: that he was right. It was the sort of confidence she had always wanted; the sort of confidence she thought all Shadowhunters must surely have. It came over her now, calming her nerves, heightening her senses.

"I'll get there as swiftly as I can."

Gideon smiled at her, giving a slight nod. "That's the Sophie Collins I know."

Sophie blushed, and turned to look at the others. Gabriel nodded at her, while Cecily stood, stony faced, in her path. Sighing, she shrugged and stepped aside.

"If you kill Tessa, I'll help Will kill you after," she said, her heart not really in it. She gave Sophie a small smile. "Good luck."

"Thank you Miss," Sophie said, smiling back, "but I'm not entirely sure I'll be needing any luck."

She heard Gideon chuckle behind her, but she didn't turn around. Carefully, but briskly, she began to weave her way through automatons, sighing in relief when they did not react to her movement.

She was going to find Tessa and help her, if it was the last thing she did.

Tessa blinked at the man before her, and wondered if it were possible that she was dreaming. Indeed, everything around her was far too bright, in an almost hazy, unnatural way. Still, his silhouette and glinting beetle eyes were distinctive enough that she knew exactly who he was.

"Mortmain."

"Theresa." He didn't smile, not even to taunt her. His jaw was set and his eyes were dark. "It's been too long. You didn't even bid me farewell."

"My mistake, Sir. I would happily bid you farewell _now_."

"Attitude, Miss Gray, will get you nowhere, so I suggest you drop it immediately."

Tessa looked around her, recognising her Institute bedroom. How odd. She must definitely be dreaming. And yet-

"What are you doing in here?"

"Why, I do believe that's the third time I've been asked that question today. The first was by that red-headed oaf of a Shadowhunter. The second was by your spirited lover, William."

Her heart pounded as she started to remember things, just in flashes- she remembered Yanluo, and the noise, and the pain, and her parents. She remembered Will being angry at her- something about not fighting back…

"Where are they?" she demanded, sitting upright at once, only to reel back and gasp in pain. "What's happening to me?"

"One question at a time." Mortmain glared at her. "They are being held by my most trusted servants."

"You mean those metal_ things_."

"Hearts can be corrupted, Theresa. Machines cannot. They are man's most valuable soldier."

"They are lonely," she said. She didn't say it to mock him, or to gaud him. She stated it plainly, without expression.

Mortmain faltered and looked at her with a curious expression.

"Why were you at my mother's wedding, Mortmain?"

He looked at her sharply. "What?"

"I know you were there. I want to know why. You knew them, didn't you? My parents?"

"That man was not any parent of yours," he hissed through his teeth.

"No," she whispered. "He was possessed. By a demon. And you made the deal. You wanted me to be created- but why? Why were you at the wedding, even, if you despised my parents so much?"

"Despised them? Despised _her_?" he snapped, a vein in his forehead bulging.

"Her," Tessa echoed.

"Elizabeth _Gray,"_ Mortmain laughed bitterly. "Oh, I despised her, alright- I'll never stop despising her. I'll never _stop_ wishing her pain beyond your imagination. She always thought she was better. Too good. Too good for _me_."

Tessa sucked in her breath, staring at him. She knew this was insane- this conversation that they were having. She knew, somewhere, in her mind, that her body was fighting Yanluo- fighting the demon inside her. Yet finally, it was as though she were getting the answers she so desperately sought. They made no sense- and yet somehow, everything seemed to be falling into place. She thought of the wedding she had seen, the way Elizabeth's eyes had scanned through the people around her when any who objected to the union were asked to speak. Of course, she realised, it was Mortmain she was looking for. But he had not aged a day, she thought, troubled.

"You… _loved_ her?"

"I loved her more than he did," he near shouted. "I loved her more than anyone ever did, or ever could! That didn't matter to her, though._ Love_ didn't matter to Elizabeth. She would have everyone think her kind, but behind her words was a driving cruelty worse than anything else in this world. She pretended to care for me- she probably pretended to care for you, too. Especially once she found out what you were. Nephlim and their pride. She was worse than all of them. Of course, that makes sense, considering what she really was."

"What she really was?" Tessa said, voice rising. Suddenly, she arched her back, a shriek of sudden pain splintering through her very bones. Through her shaky vision, she could see Mortmain smirk.

"Do you know what's happening to you, Theresa? Have you figured it out now?" he came closer to her, whispering in her ear. "Would you like me to tell you?"

"The child of a Shadowhunter and a Demon," she hissed. "How… why-"

"Do not concern yourself about that, Miss Gray, for you are not one of them. No, you are something far more powerful." He linked a lock of her hair through his fingers.

Tessa gasped, head throbbing with pain.

"I don't understand."

"Your mother," Mortmain said, voice clear and loud, "was an _angel._ Not fallen, but lost. The journey from Heaven to earth, as it happens, is a difficult one, and she arrived here quite fuzzy, completely oblivious to whatever mission she had been sent on. She had no idea of what she was- the silly creature thought she was one of the Nephlim. But I found the truth when you didn't immediately yield to the darkness inside you, and I realised what I must do. Theresa, you are half Angel, half Demon- _you_ are impossible. You are powerful, and right now, you are becoming what you were always intended to become. The demon inside you is rising. Soon your will shall belong to me- the one who made the deal with the demon who sired you. But the powers of the angel, too, shall stay with you. A weapon of Heaven and Hell. My weapon. And you will Change into Elizabeth- you will show me her face once more- and you will marry me, as she should have. In the end, she will still be _mine_. And in return, you can have anything and everything that you desire. Do you not see now, Theresa, it was never my intention to harm you. As long as you do not deny me what I ask."

Will blinked crusted blood from his eyes, wincing as bruises all over his right side ached sharply. Careful not to arouse suspicion, he lay unmoving, quickly finding out as much about his situation as was possible. He was not being held, but was laid across hard, familiar floor.

Jem's room.

"James." Suddenly not caring whether or not there were Automatons standing around them, waiting for recklessness such as this, Will scrambled to his feet, limping towards the bed in fear. "James, are you-"

He fell silent as he saw him- laying across his bed, limbs curled and tangled, unmoving. Other people used to look at Jem and think him weak- he didn't have the corded muscle that most Shadowhunters did, nor was he as tall- but this was one of the first times that Will did not see Jem and think him strong. He looked broken. Motionless, and broken. His chest was not moving.

Glancing across the room, he saw Charlotte and Henry, curled around each other as though it were natural to them, both still and bloody. He waited, tensely, until he saw the steady movement of each of their chest's, before he turned his attention from them.

"_Jem_." He tore towards his parabatai, body shaking uncontrollably, and with a starburst of pain he was stopped by an Automaton, gripping him tightly around the torso. There was only one of them there- but there didn't have to be any more than that, for Will had barely any fight left in him.

"Jem- for God's sake, open your eyes-"

The grip around him dug in until blood started to seep across his shirt, but he didn't care. _Don't be dead, don't be dead_. It was as if everything around him was occurring in slow motion, and all he could think, all he could fathom, were those three words. Don't be dead. As though somehow, through sheer determination and will alone, he could keep him alive.

"Jem." He shouted, voice rasping. "God, it's my fault, it's all my fault…" he fell to his knees, trembling too much to stand any longer, and the metal creature released him. "James, wake up. I will never ask you another thing, not ever, not anything, if you open your eyes now. _Please._ You are alright. You have to be alright. I need you to be alright. Jem-"

It was bizzare, the way that since the moment they met, Will had known that Jem was dying. He had known that day would come. And some nights he would wake, thin sweat covering his body, gasping for air and heart reaching for reality, fresh from dreams in which Jem lay dead, cruelly oblivious to his pleas and shouts. But he had always thought he would know. He thought there would be more warning- more time. Time to say good-bye, time to find a cure. Time that seemed to be slipping away too fast for it to be real, or fair.

Because after Will's nightmares, he had always been able to wake up. He had always been able to walk into Jem's room and see him alive and then he could breathe safely again, knowing that he was alright. Right now, he wanted more than anything to wake up from this hell he was living in.

"You can't die now, James," he whispered hollowly, crouching beside his parabatai. He didn't know now whether he was crying or not: it didn't matter. He grasped both of Jem's hands tightly in his own. "You were right, before- what you said, when you told me why you agreed to be my parabatai. I need you. I still need you, Jem- that hasn't changed. That isn't _going_ to. You promised me… Jem, there are automatons. Charlotte and Henry are hurt. My sister is here somewhere. Tessa-"

At that, Will shook his head, leaning it against Jem's forehead. "I am so sorry, Jem." His words came out ragged and distorted by sobs that racked through his whole being. "I was supposed to _protect _you. Nothing was supposed to happen to _you_."

He waited, then, for Jem to say the things that Jem always did. Things about the goodness in all people, and how Will had not failed him, and how Jem had accepted his fate. But he was met with silence.

Will didn't know how long he was there, clutching Jem's hands in his, their heads bent together, when he heard her scream.

Tessa was hurt, he realised blatantly. He looked at Jem at once, out of habit, to establish a plan, but Jem's eyes remained closed. Will closed his eyes as Tessa screamed again, and he heard murmuring voices from her room across the hall. He looked at Charlotte and Henry then. There was no prospect of them awakening in time to do anything to help her, and by the sound of things, it was not as if anyone else had managed to reach her. Indeed, everyone else may well be dead, he thought with an odd feeling of emptiness.

For not the first time in his life, Will felt as though it was hopeless: completely, utterly, terribly hopeless. Yet somehow- less because he was Will Herondale and more because he was James Carstairs' parabatai, he couldn't let anyone he loved suffer, even if he had only a single breath left in his body.

_Save Tessa. I can still save Tessa_. He looked at Jem, unwilling to let go of him just yet, and he set his jaw against the wave of despair that overcame him then.

"I will come back for you," he promised. "I will save Tessa- I'll save her for you. And…when I come back," he swallowed, hard, "when I come back, you will be okay."

Knowing that he would have only a moment to get past the automaton standing guard, Will let go of Jem's hands and spun around, all in a single, fluid motion, reaching for the seraph blade that was lying near Jem's bedside, and naming it, just in time to bring the blade down across the automaton's arm, sending sparks of metal bursting through the air and wounding it enough for Will to nimbly slip past it and out the door.

Turning quickly, Will moved a nearby cabinet in front of the door so the automaton could not escape, bracing himself for the automatons that awaited him outside. But he was not as fast as he should have been, and he found himself facing down the sharp end of an Automaton's weapon-

And then, in a shower of fire, someone hacked it away, saving him from the blow.

Expecting to see Gideon, Will widened his eyes in surprise when instead, Sophie Collins stood before him, expression determined, eyes sharp.

"Sophie?"

"I'll distract them," Sophie said, in a commanding tone foreign to him, "you enter the room. Do whatever it takes to save her, Mr Herondale. She is my friend."

"Whatever it takes," he repeated solemnly. He hesitated, not eager to leave the girl alone to face the automatons that were slowly assembling around them.

Suddenly, a streak of blue light flew past them, hitting an Automaton squarely in the chest and sending it reeling. Will and Sophie turned to see Magnus Bane, then, in all his glory, cradling a bleeding shoulder, hand outstretched.

"Mr Herondale," Magnus said, "I will be absolutely appalled if you really need to be told twice to go alone into Miss Gray's bedroom."

"Take care of her, Magnus," Will said, after a split second, and with that, he stumbled forward, grabbing the knob of Tessa's door. He reached out and flung it open completely, stepping in with his weapon blazing. His heart pounded- his fear confirmed: for Tessa was laying across her bed, eyes dark and frightening- and standing over her was Mortmain.

"Rude of you to interrupt: Herondale," the Magister said smoothly, tilting his head back to give Will a condescending look. "You know, you really don't look too good."

"Step away from her," Will said fiercely. "For I have strength in me yet- enough to kill you."

"Will." Tessa croaked, propping herself up on her elbows, wincing, as though it caused her great pain to do so. "Will. Is it really you?"

"What has he done to you, Tess?" Will said.

"He… Will, I am… I am… I am turning into…." Tessa was caught off by a scream that wrenched from her core, and the veins in her arms became very dark, and very visible. Will hurried to her side, gripping her hand.

"What have you done to her?" he demanded, feeling very sick. Of the three people he loved most in the world, he had now spent this night kneeling at the deathbed of two of them- and who even knew if Cecily was alright.

"Believe me, gentleman, the damage is already done. Miss Gray was born for this moment."

"I'm turning into a demon- a slave, he said," Tessa gasped. "My head… goodness- it hurts. Will, the things I can see, I have heard-"

"Angel." Will breathed, and when he looked at Tessa again, it was in wonder. "Tessa, your Angel!"

"What are you talking about?" Mortmain snapped.

Will took Tessa's shaking fingers and drew them to the necklace that sat upon her chest.

"Look."

Sure enough, the clockwork angel was behaving rather oddly. It was ticking- not as it normally did, but rapidly, the wings of the angel moving. And from within it, there was this _light_, so beautiful and so angelic that it drew her in, speaking words to her, telling a story-

"_I know what I am." Elizabeth was crying, speaking to the Heavens. She held Tessa in her arms- just newly born. "I know what this means for my child. But she is good. I know she can be good. "_

_The clockwork angel. They gave her the clockwork angel. In it, the essence of goodness; everything that made Elizabeth an Angel, poured into the clockwork jewellery. It would protect her from demons. It would protect her from the demon inside of her. When the time came, it would ensure that the Angel inside her overtook the darkness. _

_The clockwork angel would save the girl._

The words came to Tessa as though in a dream, and suddenly, she was no longer afraid. Suddenly, she knew exactly what she must do. She drew away from Will, standing up upon the bed, both hands cupping the angel. Then, with a smile, she looked at Mortmain.

"Your plan was a good one, Mr Mortmain," she said. "But I do hope for your sake that you have a backup. You'll not be seeing Elizabeth again."

She closed her eyes, and she pressed the angel's wings together with all her might until they clicked, and the clockwork opened.

From there, a dream-like light flooded the room, as though flowing from a stream, soaking up every last detail, touching everything, filling Tessa. She stood, back arched, taking it all in, the smile never leaving her face, even as she felt the darkness inside her fade- even as the noise lessened, and Yanluo fought and faded from her, Tessa smiled.

For she was Tessa Gray, and for the first time in her life, she knew exactly who she was.

Once the light in the room had faded, both Will and Mortmain were kneeling, both arms covering their eyes. Tessa, on the other hand, was standing, light-footed, on the floorboards, right before Mortmain.

"What-" Mortmain said, baffled. "What did you do?" he turned to Will. "What the bloody hell was that- the light? _What was in that angel_?"

"The power of an Angel," Tessa said, "was in the angel. Ironic, don't you think? You see, my mother found out that she was an Angel, too. Just as you realised, when I was born, that she could not be a Shadowhunter, so too did my mother realise that she was something else. She contacted the angels. They built her this. Something to fight the demon in me- on the side of the angels. Something that made even Yanluo flee from me."

"Tess," Will was staring at her in awe. She smiled at him.

"It's so odd, Will," she said. "Wonderful, but odd. I feel so… certain of myself. Of everything. I owe it to you, Will. If you had not pointed out the angel, I might not have opened it." She tilted her head back to Mortmain then, raising an eyebrow. "As for you, Sir."

In the few moments since Tessa had opened the clockwork angel, Mortmain had transformed completely from a commanding presence to the cowering heap of a man in over his head. His beady eyes squinted at her, hands coming together in prayer.

"I'm sorry- I know not what I have done. Forgive me- do not act hastily, I never wished you any harm, you know that-"

"You wished harm to every person in this Institute," Tessa snapped. "You tortured Jem. You burdened Charlotte and Henry- you took their child from them before they had it, you took Nate, you even corrupted poor Jessamine, you manipulated the Lightwoods, and the Herondales, and you had me kidnapped and tortured. You wished every harm to me, and to those I care about."

"It wasn't my fault," he cried out.

"Of course it was your fault," Tessa said. "And now, you will know penance." She stepped forward, and, strangely, seemed to reach inside him- into his very chest, like her arm was going straight through him, akin to a ghost, and her hand emerged clutching a clockwork circuit. Mortmain, of course, shrieked and yelled horribly as she did so, his screams echoing throughout the room, and he staggered about on his knees, falling completely to the floor. "The clockwork prince, your parents called you," she said wistfully. "That is why you did not age, was it not? You wired yourself into the clockwork. You are at the heart of your own invention. And your clockwork heart- it is the key to all of the automatons. If this is destroyed," she looked at him significantly, "so are they."

"How do you-" he cried, speechless.

"I know everything that the angels want me to know, Mortmain," she said coldly. "And do you know what they are telling me to do, now?"

Mortmain shook his head, trembling.

"They are telling me to crush your heart," she said. "They are telling me to destroy you, and your machines, forever."

Mortmain spat at her. "Do it." He cried out. "Just do it, for God's sake-"

Slowly, Tessa closed her fist around the clockwork circuit in her hands, bending and ruining it until there was almost nothing left, and the sound of metal hitting wood told her that all over the Institute, the automatons were dropping motionless, useless without their commanding source. Then she paused. Concentrating very hard, she held her hands over Mortmain's chest, channelling her newfound powers into him.

With a start, Mortmain felt the beating of his own heart- something he had not felt for such a long time it was shocking for him to behold.

"What did you do to me?"

"This is the price," Tessa said simply, "that I ask you to pay, Mortmain. I have given you your mortal heart. Your clockwork army are now dead, I think you will find- and you yourself are mortal once more. You must live like that. Live out your life until you grow old."

"Death," he hissed, "would be a kinder fate."

Tessa looked at him steadily. "I know."

She turned to look at Will then, not looking at Mortmain. "You have one minute to remove yourself from the Institute. Before you leave, however, know this: no more am I afraid of your face. If I ever do see you again, it is you who ought to me frightened."

Will sat, unable to speak, as he watched Tessa speak- watched her make brave and cruel decisions- too stunned and happy and sad and furious to feel anything, really. It was only when the Magister- the Magister, so feared and so powerful, was sent fleeing from the room, that he spoke again.

"You did it," he whispered. "I mean, you really did it."

"I did," Tessa didn't sound surprised, as he thought she might. She was smiling a little- almost smugly. "And I fought Yanluo off, Will- well, not that I can claim full responsibility for it- it was my mother, really- oh, goodness, I cannot wait to tell Jem."

At the mention of him, Will's heart sunk, and he bent his head so his hair fell into his eyes, not wanting to meet Tessa's gaze.

"Jem."

Even though she hadn't seen his face, it seemed Tessa could read it just through the sound of his voice. Her smile faded, her eyes suddenly worried.

"Will- what has happened- is he…"

"He wasn't… he wasn't breathing, Tess," he said, voice husky. "I tried… Angel, I tried…but he has to-"

Tessa didn't stay still for long enough to hear the rest of what Will didn't know how to say. She pushed past him, through the doors, into the hall, where several automatons lay motionless on the floor, where they would never move again, thanks to Tessa's power.

The door into Jem's room was already ajar.

With Will close behind her, Tessa entered the room, which, either because of her new angelic qualities, or because of something else, appeared extremely blurry. She could make out Charlotte and Henry, just sitting up and rubbing sore limbs, and Sophie, sitting in the corner with Gideon beside her, and Gabriel talking to Cecily, who was staring at Jem with tearful eyes, and then there was Magnus, standing over Jem, a hand over his head. With a slight turn of her head, she saw Will wince in pain, clutching his parabatai room. The look on his face was one unlike anything she had ever seen before on anyone- the kind of despair that went past losing someone you loved. If Jem was truly dead, Will had lost apart of himself.

But Jem couldn't be dead.

"Jem," Tessa said, voice uncertain for the first time since she opened her angel. Magnus looked over to her, expression sombre and sorry- but she didn't want his pity. She wanted him to tell her that there was a way- yes, maybe a difficult way, maybe an unlikely way, but a way nonetheless, of changing things. Of saving him.

_But he can't be gone,_ she wanted to say_, I love him._ As though that would be enough. As though that was a good enough reason. She didn't know how she'd gotten there, but she found herself sitting beside him on the bed, looking down at him. Automatically, her hand went to the jade pendant around her neck.

And then she cried.

She had cried more than any person should ever have to cry since she arrived in London. She had cried for so many people, including herself. But she had never cried like this.

It was the sort of crying that you can't describe. There's no word that would capture the raw desperation in it; no word to give a name to the pain that it spoke of. It was the sort of crying too personal to witness. The most terrifying sort of tears- and they were falling onto Jem's cheeks, rolling down them as though they were his own tears. As though he were crying, too.

Nobody came to her and tried to comfort her, or put a hand to her shoulder- not even Will. There was something too dreadful about an angel's crying- something that couldn't be soothed.

Because as well as sadness, of course, there was guilt, too. If she had only destroyed Yanluo along with the rest of the demon in her- if she had only been _faster_, maybe-

Trembling, Tessa looked to her hands. Fresh from opening her necklace, and also, perhaps, from grief, they were swimming with golden light. What was she to do, with all this power? What was she to do with her strength, when her reason for being strong lay dead?

In desperate times, she supposed, came thoughts of desperate measures- for one came into her head, as crazy and as impossible as it sounded. _Give Jem the angel's power. _She didn't even know if that was possible- or if it would help. All she knew was that she didn't need it anymore, and, if Jem wasn't alive, then she didn't want it. She looked around. She wasn't the only person crying. She wasn't the only person broken. Jem was something special to every person in the room. They needed him, she realised. And perhaps that was selfish. Perhaps they should have listened, when he told them that he had accepted his fate.

_But I _am_ self ish_, she thought._ I am Tessa Gray. I am a daughter of the Angels. And I will defy fate for you, James Carstairs._

With this thought, Tessa placed her hand over his chest. Gently, she leant to kiss his cheek.

Then, blindly, she let out a wild cry, throwing her head back, and words of an unfamiliar tongue began to roll from her mouth, an incantation of some kind. She didn't know how she even knew what to do or say- yet somehow, she was doing it. Light began to flood from herself to Jem, and she knew that Will was telling her to be careful, and Charlotte was telling her to stop, and Magnus was gazing upon her as if she were some alien creature, and blood began to fall from her nose, but she didn't care. She only cared about one thing.

A few, tense minutes later, that one thing opened his eyes.


	32. Epilogue: Everything Gold

**Epilogue**

**"Everything Gold"**

Nature's first green is gold,  
Her hardest hue to hold.  
Her early leaf's a flower;  
But only so an hour.  
Then leaf subsides to leaf,  
So Eden sank to grief,  
So dawn goes down to day  
Nothing gold can stay.

Robert Frost

**Hi guys! Sorry it's been so inexcusably long. What can I say, I was recovering from the perfection and heartbreak of Clockwork Princess. So, the epilogue that Cassie wrote was, I felt, so feelsy and beautiful and depressing and happy that I didn't want to do anything that would conflict with that epilogue, even in this version of the story. So, this epilogue is not going to be set in the 2000s- just a little bit after the last chapter ended. The idea is that this + Cassie's epilogue won't be mutually exclusive. Hope you're all doing well, and I'd really like to say a last, massive thank you to everyone who's bothered to read this, let alone review, favourite, or follow **** it really means a lot to me, as an aspiring writer and a fan of TMI/TID. Now, to the reviews:**

* * *

Lovecassie: **thank you so much **** ily too haha. Here's your epilogue- I hope it doesn't disappoint!**

TessaCollins: **hey! Thanks for reading/reviewing my story **** I'm extremely happy that you like it!**

Monica: **allonsy! Clockwork Princess… I KNOW! I would definitely love to discuss it with you- so many mixed feelings about what happened- but hmm, how not to spoil everybody…do you have an email or a tumblr? On another note, thank you for all your kind words over the hastily-written chapters **** it's really brightened my days. **

Guest: **I see you're not a big Jem/Tessa person :P hopefully you'll be a little happier with this epilogue than the last chapter, then.**

ShadowKissed: **thank you :D ahh, have you read Clockwork Princess yet? If so, what did you think of it?**

Jen: **thanks for the support **** that's so nice of you! I do hope you didn't cry too much in the last chapter- as the tissues were **_**definitely**_** necessary for getting through Clockwork Princess- but hopefully the epilogue isn't as cry-worthy!**

Tracey Sandler: ***still crying and eating ice cream over Clockwork Princess* **** aah, the day that book was released was one of the most suspenseful days of my life! Thank you for your review, too :)**

Lucy vinclock: **thanks for your review :D as for Will/Tessa or Jem/Tessa…well, hopefully that'll all be cleared up in this epilogue!**

* * *

Everything about the room was gold. The walls, the carpet lining the great length of the floors, the curtains at the windows, the last rays of the setting sun streaming through them- and the clothes of the many gathered excitedly and harmoniously in the centre of the room. Men wore gold jackets and shirts, top hats held politely in their hands as they stood amongst ladies in silk gowns. They were all centred around two people, however, whose gold shone more brightly than anything else.

A tall, dark haired Shadowhunter, fingers grasping those of his Ascending bride. His skin was scarred with the memory of many runes over the years- but her skin was smooth and new, with only a few marks visible on her skin aside from the fresh marriage rune that she wore with upmost pride.

Their last vows had been utters, the final words spoken, and Sophie Lightwood turned, unable to contain her joy, to beam at the friends that were gathered around them, never letting go of Gideon's hand.

* * *

Upstanding as she clapped her hands together, Charlotte hid her tears as she smiled back at the girl who had become like a daughter to her over the years at the Institute- who had once been so broken and so fragile. Charlotte remembered being afraid, for those first few months, that Sophie would forever be scarred by her previous experience as a servant- scarred in a way that went deeper than the physical cuts across her face. She had thought the poor girl might never fall in love- never feel safe, ever again. Sophie certainly didn't look as if she felt safe now, exactly- but somehow, that made Charlotte even happier than she would have been if she did. Because now, Sophie looked as though she was ready for anything- as though she knew that she could accomplish anything, and that nothing could ever stand in her way, or make her feel inferior, not ever. Besides, one only needed to look at Gideon to know that no harm would ever be allowed to befall this girl. Charlotte glanced behind her as she felt two hands wind around her waist then, and smiled at Henry, who looked dashing all in gold. It was a rare thing indeed for her husband to dress up, but when he did, he looked like such a gentleman it made her blush. His hand circled her belly, and he whispered to her anxiously,

"Are you awfully tired standing up, Lottie? It can't be good for the baby, can it?"

Indeed, it had seemed so impossible, so completely unlikely, that when the Silent Brothers had confirmed Charlotte's suspicions that she had fallen pregnant again against all odds, she had been struck entirely speechless in shock. Now, Henry was more concerned, and more caring, than he had been, even last time, and Charlotte was eternally glad for it- for neither of them were willing to part with this child. Not this time.

"Goodness," Cecily said from behind them, wiping her eyes and frowning, "I rather thought weddings were supposed to be a cheerful affair. All those pretty speeches are making my eyes water. I don't care for it."

"Clearly you haven't been to many weddings before," Gabriel said in amusement. "Oh, look- my brother and the new Mrs Lightwood appear to have finished their private post-wedding romantic conversation. Shall we go and congratulate them on their union?" he offered Cecily his arm, a rare gesture for Gabriel. Cecily, grinning, looped her arm through his, and the two made after Gideon and Sophie, who were now mingling with the guests (amongst them; Magnus Bane, outrageously dressed in a fitted suit of gold and black), their hands still linked and their cheeks still glowing like two people deeply in love.

"A sight to behold, isn't it?" Will said- tone teasing, but he was still smiling as he looked at Sophie and Gideon making their way across the room. He and Tessa were standing at the corner near the wine glasses- which Will was taking liberally- both wearing exactly the same shade of gold.

"I am so glad," Tessa replied, "that they are married now. I am so glad that Sophie was able to become a Shadowhunter- for I knew she desired to become one."

"That is why they are getting married?" Will said dryly. "So that Sophie can Ascend?"

Tessa nudged him. "Don't be silly. Of course, it is wonderful that they are happy together. The Angel knows they both are deserving of happiness."

"The Angel," Will echoed her, grinning. "Listen to you, Tess. We've turned you into one of us."

"By the Angel, not one of you!" Tessa cried in mock alarm, and Will chuckled, warming her heart as he did.

"Am I missing something funny?"

At the sound of his voice, both Will and Tessa turned around immediately. Even though it had been a month since Jem had opened his eyes on the brink of death, the sight of him was something that would take a while to get used to.

Since the yin fen was no longer being taken, gradually, the colour had returned to his skin and his hair. Now his complexion, once pale, was gold and light, and his hair a mass of black atop his head. His eyes, too, were a dark brown, and they glinted as he grinned at them, the light from chandelliers adjourning the room casting an eerie spotlight over him. He had always been beautiful- always been enchanting. Somehow now he was more beautiful and enchanting than he had ever been before. Now, he looked so positively and completely _alive _that his very presence seemed to possess a kind of energy all of its own.

"A wonderful ceremony, was it not?" he said.

"Just perfect," Tessa said, "I was just saying how lovely it is that they have each other now."

"Nothing is more lovely than love," Will said with a hint of humour. He grinned at Jem. "Looking sharp, Carstairs- I didn't see you come in. The gold _really_ brings out your eyes."

Jem laughed. "I might say the same to you. And Tessa- well." His cheeks coloured slightly, "you look wonderful."

"Doesn't she always?" Will said. He glared at her then, stamping his foot. "It's not fair!"

Tessa shook her head, bewildered. "Honestly, the pair of you," at first she smiled. Then she sighed.

Since she had saved Jem, she had gone over everything in her head a thousand times, thinking and wondering and trying to find out what this meant- for she and Jem, for she and Will, for Will and Jem. But it seemed that no matter what scenario she thought of, no matter how deeply she searched her own heart, there was only one truth there: that she loved both of them with equal and undying measure.

She had told them as much- each individually, over the past weeks when they had sought her out, or she them. There was no questioning the love that they had for each other- the imperfect and strange yet somehow completely sensible sentiments they shared. After all, Will and Jem were so connected that they made up the same person, and if Tessa loved one, and one loved her, than it only followed that she loved the other, and the other loved her as well. Yet despite this knowledge, nobody quite knew where this left them.

"What will you do?" she asked them, her voice croaking slightly. "I mean- in the aftermath of…all this. What are your plans?"

Will glanced at Jem.

"James has not been able to visit his home in Shang hai in a long time. He was going to go there- to visit the family he has left. I was going to visit my parents in Wales as well. We were planning on doing both together- after all, I cannot allow him to go where I cannot go."

Even though, Tessa thought, both sadly and happily, Jem was perfectly healthy now, Will still looked at his parabatai with an aura of upmost protection- as though he was ready and waiting for anything to threaten his safety- ready to destroy it with malice and ferocity.

Jem smiled. "Taking Will to meet my family will be an…interesting experience indeed. Certainly not one I was ever expecting to have."

"You are free to accompany us, of course," Will said. "If you want to."

Though it pained her to do it, Tessa shook her head.

"I have spoken with Magnus," she said, "and he thinks it best that I go with him to America- to see the warlocks there. I don't have the angel's essence in me any longer, but I don't know what that actually means about what I am. Certainly it hasn't taken away my ability to Change- for I tried it the other day, and it came to me as easily and as naturally as it ever has- so I cannot be human- and yet if the demon is gone from me, then I really do not know where this leaves me. It is best that I accompany him, to find out as much as I can about what I am."

"You still don't know," Jem said softly. "I am sorry, Tessa. If you hadn't saved me like that, you would have known what you were. You were an angel, and you gave that up."

"For your life," she smiled at him. "I would do it again. Besides, it does not bother me. If it makes sense. I do not claim to know what exactly I am, or even who- that has not changed. But that's quite alright by me. I have never felt so sure in my life- so comfortable, confident." She looked at Jem and remembered what he had told her before, about how it is the content of your soul that truly matters- that everything mattered less than what your heart contained. She understood now what that meant.

"Then I am profusely glad for it," Jem said. "We both are."

Tessa beamed at the two of them, suddenly struck by how very unlikely and wonderful this was. When she was a girl growing up in America, if somebody were to tell her that she would travel to another land and be brave and learn to fight, and come to love two beautiful, fearless boys who would stand by her throughout everything, she would have laughed. She started laughing now, thinking about it.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," she giggled. "I…" she composed herself. "I am so glad to have met you both, you know. So very glad." She paused. "This isn't goodbye, though, is it? Not yet."

"Not yet," Will said. "We leave in the morning for Shang Hai. It will be a few months before we return to London."

Tessa sucked in her breath, but nodded. "And I am leaving with Magnus in a number of days. I don't know how long for."

"We will see you again," Jem said, no waver in his voice. "Whether it is in a number of months, or a number of years."

"I know." There was a silence then, in which the three of them were completely disconnected from the buzzing chatter of the people around them, each wondering what to say, each wondering what there even _was_ to say anyway.

"We're not leaving yet," Will said finally, breaking the silence. "And it would be an atrocity for us to fail to join in the celebrations." He walked to Tessa, offering her his arm. "May I have this dance, Miss Gray?"

"You may, Mr Herondale," she said, nodding to Jem and smiling. "Do be sure to save me a dance, Mr Carstairs."

"I can make no promises, fair maiden," Jem said, eyes glinting with amusement. "I am a wanted man."

* * *

He watched as Tessa turned to walk with Will towards the dance-floor, finding happiness at the way the two of them smiled as they spoke, the way they danced with each other, in perfect harmony-

"It is bad form not to dance at a wedding. Surely you know that." He turned, startled, to see Cecily, beautiful in her dress of gold, and her smile more beautiful still.

"I'm afraid I would look rather foolish dancing by myself," he said. He offered his arm, clearing his throat. "Would you like to dance, Cecily?"

She sighed dramatically. "If only to save you from social embarrassment, then." She took his hand and spun gracefully around, positioning her hands on his shoulders as he placed his on her waist.

"So," she said. "How have you been of late? I heard that you are whisking my brother off to a foreign land."

"I hope you don't mind," Jem said. "If you wish, you could accompany us. We have special permission granted from the Clave for you and he to visit your parents, upon our return."

"I know," Cecily said. "I am so glad for it. But… I think I will enjoy my time here, at the Institute. As long as you keep Will safe- which I know that you will."

"So," Jem said, voice growing teasing, "it is nothing to do with Gabriel, then? Your willingness to stay at the Institute?"

"I've no idea what you're talking about." Her scarlet cheeks contrasted her bold words.

"I saw the pair of you earlier- arm in arm," Jem grinned.

"He's a gentlemen, that's all." Her heart wasn't entirely in it. "He is interesting. Not what I had expected him to be. I suppose I'll see what becomes of it." She tilted her head. "What of you and Tessa?"

"I love her," Jem said casually- for it was nothing other than the simple truth of the matter. "And she loves me. That doesn't mean that we must have each other. Love does not mean special ownership or anything of the kind. I've come to realise the truth of that."

"Still, it would be nice, would it not?" Cecily mused. "To belong to somebody, I mean. To have somebody belong to you."

"I do believe," Jem glanced across the room to his parabatai, "that I already have something of the sort."

"_Two halves of one whole_," Cecily sighed. "You and Will take this whole parabatai business awfully seriously."

Jem smiled. "You will understand more of it when you learn more of Shadowhunter customs."

"I don't think I'll ever understand it." The song came to its end, and Cecily dropped her hands from around his shoulders, offering him a small smile in return. "All I can say is, Mr Carstairs, I am glad that my brother had you in his life. If he could not be with apart of my family, I am glad that he found something of the sort in you."

"I am glad of it as well," Jem said. "I promise I will bring him back to you safely."

"I know you shall."

* * *

The music changed, and, though they had stopped dancing, per say, Will still had his hands placed gently on her waist- gently, but firmly, unwilling to let go of her just yet. In the same manner, Tessa's own hands perched on his shoulders. The gold of anything and everything about the place seemed somehow more striking reflected in Will's eyes.

"Your eyes," he said suddenly. "I swear they were once lighter."

"I think it was the demon," Tessa said, self-conscious. "Or the Change. I have noticed as well. I thought that once I was freed of Yanluo and the demon in me, they would return to normal. But then, what is normal for me? What do I truly look like? I don't suppose I shall ever know now." She didn't speak with the despair that she had once beheld; her tone was more resigned then anything else.

"Indeed. Perhaps you are, in actuality, a great monstrous beast of a woman- with moles and a beard , perhaps even a moustache," Will mused, and Tessa finally moved her hands from his shoulders, if only to hit him across the wrist. Will laughed at that. "Except," he said, growing more serious, "that I _do_ know what you truly look like."

"Is that so?"

"It is indeed." He smirked.

"And what," Tessa said, "pray tell, do I truly look like?" She braced herself for one of his jokes- one that she knew would leave her indignant and offended, yet in a fit of laughter and joy all the same. But Will didn't do what she thought he would- when did he ever? Instead, he leaned even closer to her, tucking her hair behind her ear so that he could whisper to her.

"You look like Tessa Gray. And she looks beautiful."

Tessa shivered, although if anything, the room suddenly felt much warmer. She looked at Will when he drew back from her, unable _not _to meet those eyes, as blue and as enchanting as they had been the night she had met him.

"Another thing I noticed," he said, voice slightly uneven. "Your clockwork angel. It's lost all its power now- it's dead. But you are still wearing it. Why, Tess?"

Tessa hesitated, glancing down at the clockwork pendant, still, as Will had pointed out, sitting on her chest as it always had, despite the fact that now, she could no longer feel it ticking.

"When Nate died, he told me to wear it, always," she found herself saying. "He was probably only saying that because he knew about the angel's essence inside it, I know that, yet somehow, I cannot bring myself to take it off. I don't know precisely why. Perhaps it is because it reminds me of him. It reminds me of my mother. It reminds me of you. If you hadn't been there, Will… I don't know whether it was a coincidence or not. All I do know is that it was you who told me that my angel was glowing, and that before you arrived, it wasn't. So it reminds me of you, Will- and you're not something that I want to forget, or leave behind. So I am still wearing it. Probably, I will still be wearing it many years from now, if I live that long."

There was a look in Will's eyes that she could not have described, then. Something so personal and lovely and curious that she caught her breath.

"You will live that long," he said, finally. "You will live that long, and more. And the life you will lead will be a life to be envied by every heroine in every half decent novel of all time."

"A life like a novel," Tessa said. "I do like the sound of that."

Another song had begun now- played by several skilled faeries on the violin- although Tessa couldn't help but think that Jem could've played it better.

"I cannot believe," Will said, "that tomorrow, Jem and I will leave, and you will remain. I cannot believe that I do not know when or where or if I will see you again."

"Where would the fun be," Tessa replied with a sad smile, "in that? You know, in every great story, nobody makes plans. Nobody knows when they're going to meet somebody, or where. But I believe, Will Herondale, that you can rule out the 'if' as an option. Because I don't know when I'll see you again, but I know that I will. When you are so important a person to somebody else, you always meet again. If I have learnt anything from a good book, it is that."

"Do you think," Will hesitated. "Do you think that when we meet again, that you will have met someone else? Someone more important, I mean."

Tessa blinked at him. "More important? Will, in the entire world, I'm not sure there is such a thing."

"Will you be lonely, then?" he said. "Because, Tess, you know that I would not stand between you and Jem if-"

"Stop." Tessa lifted her hands to his face. "We've been over this so many times, Will. How many times must I say that I love you both? As long as you know that, and as long as I know that you love me, I won't feel alone. Nor should you."

Will drew in a breath, and nodded. "I'm sorry." He glanced around him. "Promise me one thing, then- if it is not too much to ask."

"Of course."

"Wherever you go, whatever you do, whoever you meet," his lips twitched into a lopsided smile. "Be _brilliant_, Tess."

Tessa smiled with her whole face. "I shall if you shall."

"We have a deal, then."

* * *

The evening grew later, and Tessa, as promised, danced with Jem- after having congratulated Sophie and Gideon on their marriage, of course. Jem was more optimistic than Will had been- if possible- and they talked for several dances and songs about Shang Hai and America, and what a strange feeling it would be for both of them, returning to these places that had once been their homes, and now felt like distant places that held memories of a strangers life.

"Memories are important to keep," Jem said. "They keep us from repeating mistakes. And they remind us of how very possible it is for a person to change completely and still be standing strong and tall- for I know I was a very different person when I was growing up there than I am now."

"Do you ever get that feeling," Tessa asked him, "that you are in a memory? That everything around you is fading away and you know that you will look back on it so many times and remember- and there is nothing you can do to change it?"

"The inevitable feeling that everything is ending? When I was dying, my every waking moment was like that. Now… now feels different."

"You were always so much wiser than me," Tessa said. "How will I ever say good-bye to you, Jem?"

"Don't say good bye to me. Never say good-bye, Tessa."

"Right." A smile touched her lips. "_Mizpah_. The good-bye without saying good-bye."

"I was afraid you had forgotten," he grinned.

Tessa touched the clockwork angel around her neck, and then glanced at Will- at Charlotte, Henry, Sophie, Gideon, Gabriel, Cecily, Magnus Bane, and then Jem again.

"Never."

* * *

**Okay, okay, I know how annoying that ending is- believe me, I know- but c'mon, I couldn't just have a straight out Will/Tessa ending, and I couldn't bring myself to leave Will out and have a Jem/Tessa ending either. The thing that is inherently unique about Will/Tessa/Jem is just that- that it is**_** so**_** impossible to separate two of them from the other one. So I kinda cheated. **

**The idea is that Cassie's epilogue could still stand with this ending. Or it could be another ending entirely, so it's all open to interpretation. The idea is that, at this point in time, while secure in the knowledge that they all love each other, Tessa is focused on gaining more independence and finding out more about herself, while Jem and Will, not for the first time, prioritise each other. That's not to say that, if Will and Tessa met up in the future, they mightn't get together. In the end, I wanted Will and Jem's bond to be (arguably) the strongest, because reading the books, I always felt that their relationship was truly fascinating. **

**Feel free to tell me what you think, though- whether I should've ended it with Wessa, Jessa, or even gone for a plot twist and had Tessa elope with Sophie. It's been awesome having people like you reading my story! Thank you so very, very much. **


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